Introduction
Chapter 12 in Mishlei deals extensively with the power of speech: when to speak, when to remain silent, and how to distinguish between one who speaks truth and one who speaks falsehood. In the passage before us, we will examine four verses: one regarding the fool who publicizes his anger versus the prudent person who conceals his shame, and three consecutive verses that the Malbim explains as a single progression, dealing with the distinction between truthful speech and deceitful speech.
"A fool's anger is known on that day" - Midrash Aggadah
אֱוִיל בַּיּוֹם יִוָּדַע כַּעְסוֹ וְכֹסֶה קָלוֹן עָרוּם׃ (טז) - A fool's anger is known on that day, but a prudent person conceals shame.
Rashi cites a Midrash Aggadah here: On the very day Adam HaRishon was created, his wrongdoing became known - he sinned on that very day, which is the meaning of "his anger is known on that day." The Holy One, blessed be He, Who is "prudent" - in the sense of wise - concealed his shame and did not wish to destroy His creations. Strictly speaking, Adam HaRishon should have departed from the world on that very day, but the Holy One, blessed be He, postponed the decree from a human day to a Divine day, as it is written: "For a thousand years in Your eyes are like yesterday that has passed." Thus, Adam was meant to live one thousand years; he lived 930, and gave seventy years to David. According to this Midrash, the "fool" in the verse is Adam HaRishon, and the one who "conceals shame" is the Holy One, blessed be He.
Rabbeinu Yonah's Explanation: A Double Folly
Rabbeinu Yonah explains the verse according to its plain meaning: The fool, on the very day and at the very moment he is provoked, immediately makes it obvious through his words that he is seething. In modern terms, he has a short fuse. Furthermore, he even announces his plans: "Did you see what he did to me? Just wait and see what I do to him; I will wait for him at such-and-such place." All his plans are aired out. If you have plans, keep quiet. After all, someone will hear, a friend will go and tell him, "He is waiting for you around the corner" - and the whole scheme is foiled.
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: There is a double folly here. First, you broadcast to everyone that you were insulted. Had you kept quiet, the matter would have passed; but now people ask you, "What did he say to you?" and you reply, "He called me a fool and an ignoramus" - thereby publicizing the derogatory words spoken about you with your own mouth. And it is very possible the listeners will think to themselves, "You know what? He wasn't entirely wrong." Why broadcast your own insults when they expose your shame? Second, you announce that you intend to take revenge on him - so naturally people will warn him, and you will be unable to accomplish anything.
"But a prudent person conceals shame" - The prudent person not only conceals his anger and his plans, but covers up the very fact that he was insulted. No one needs to know what was said to me or how I was humiliated. Being insulted once is enough; why bring upon myself further humiliation? The Vilna Gaon adds: Sometimes, when another person hears how you were degraded, he too will join in. Therefore, the prudent person keeps his mouth shut and conceals his shame.
Do Not Report Your Failures at Home
Rav Greineman gives chatan classes - guidance for building a Jewish home before married life. One of the points he makes there is: If something good happens to a person, let him share it at home; but if something bad happens, he should not share it. If your boss calls you into the office and tells you that he noticed your hard work and dedication - share that at home; your wife will be delighted and say, "Baruch Hashem, I have a capable husband." But if your boss calls you in and tells you that you are a terrible worker - do not come home looking for a Western Wall to pour your tears to in your wife. Why? Because when you tell your wife your failures, you lower your standing in her eyes, and at the next opportunity she will say, "Well, your boss is right, you really are incompetent." Those words will be used against you.
He related that he knew a young man whose trouble was precisely this: he constantly came home and spoke of how incompetent he was, how badly things had gone, what a fool he was, and why he had acted as he did. In time, his wife began to believe him, and began projecting back to him that he truly was like that. After you have worked so hard to convince her, why shouldn't she believe it? The situation eventually deteriorated to the point of divorce. They went to consult Rav Chaim Kanievsky, who said that there are two situations in which nothing can be done and divorce is necessary. One is when parents interfere in an extreme manner; there are mothers-in-law who give no rest, and while one might try moving to Shlomi or Australia, usually it will not help - either she turns up there as well, or there is an unwillingness to move so far away. The second situation is when a wife despises her husband. If she has no respect for him whatsoever, and in her eyes he is degraded, there is nothing left to repair through standard methods of shalom bayit. This is not to suggest that one should rush into divorce, but rather that these are situations where repair is exceptionally difficult.
Thus, a person who shares his failures at home ruins his own standing and causes others to evaluate him accordingly. And this is the meaning of "a prudent person conceals shame": someone who is clever keeps his embarrassments to himself, draws the proper conclusions on his own, learns how not to end up in such a situation again, and does not go around telling others so that they too will hold him in contempt.
The Malbim: The Fool, the Prudent, and the Wise
The Malbim explains: It is the way of wisdom, understanding, and intellect that when someone is provoked, he does not erupt immediately, even if he is seething inside. Anger is a negative character trait - when we see someone become irritated and enraged, his honor and stature immediately fall in our eyes. The discerning person controls his anger even when provoked intensely. And this is what is meant by "A person's intellect makes him slow to anger," and "He who is slow to anger has great understanding": the quality of understanding is that a person does not become angry, or at the very least does not manifest his anger externally.
However, the fool, for whom the laws of wisdom are not foundational principles, is unaccustomed to restraining his spirit. When he is provoked, he immediately explodes, as it says, "A quick-tempered person acts foolishly" and "A short-tempered person exalts folly." Therefore, "on that day" - at the very moment he feels anger - "his vexation is known"; he lets it out right away. The laws of wisdom require being slow to anger and not seeking revenge; retaliating against another for an evil done is contrary to the laws of wisdom.
Furthermore, says the Malbim: Even someone who is merely prudent (*arum*) and not yet wise (*chacham*) will not do this. There is a difference between the prudent and the wise: the prudent has not yet reached the level of the wise person, but rather conducts himself properly even though he does not yet act out of the ways of wisdom. He too already "conceals shame" - when his fellow provokes and humiliates him, he conceals his anger and keeps it in his heart, because he knows that displaying anger is itself a disgrace; when people see you angry and seething, they do not think well of you. He waits for an opportune moment, but externally he conceals it.
Yet that is only the prudent person. The wise person knows that one must master anger itself - not merely preventing it from showing on the outside, but recognizing that one must not even harbor anger in the heart, and that is a far higher level. One could say that in society at large, anger is also considered a negative trait, but the standard there is merely to keep the anger inside and not show it to everyone, which is regarded as self-control. According to the Torah, the requirement is entirely different: not to harbor anger inside, but to overcome it to the point where the matter does not anger you at all. The paths to this are well known: emunah, bitachon in Hashem, and the realization that no person can touch what is prepared for another even by a hairsbreadth. This requires practice and cannot be acquired immediately, but it is the exalted level. The wise person who walks in the ways of wisdom does not feel anger even in his heart, and consequently he never seeks revenge at a later stage. The prudent person conceals his anger, but it still exists within him. And the fool - not only does he eventually seek revenge, but he does not even know how to conceal his anger; as soon as he is angry, he shows it to everyone. That is the worst state of all.
Three Verses on Truth and Falsehood in Speech
יָפִיחַ אֱמוּנָה יַגִּיד צֶדֶק וְעֵד שְׁקָרִים מִרְמָה׃ (יז) - "He who breathes truth speaks righteousness, but a false witness speaks deceit." (17)
יֵשׁ בּוֹטֶה כְּמַדְקְרוֹת חָרֶב וּלְשׁוֹן חֲכָמִים מַרְפֵּא׃ (יח) - "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." (18)
שְׂפַת אֱמֶת תִּכּוֹן לָעַד וְעַד אַרְגִּיעָה לְשׁוֹן שָׁקֶר׃ (יט) - "Truthful speech will be established forever, but a lying tongue lasts only for a moment." (19)
These three verses all speak of speech - "speaks righteousness," "false witness," "rash words," "the tongue of the wise," "truthful speech," "a lying tongue" - and the Malbim explains them in close connection, as a single unified sequence.
The Identifying Signs of a Speaker of Truth
The Malbim explains: A person comes before a judge in litigation with his fellow, presenting truthful claims, while his opponent brings a false witness to contradict him. How can one discern who is telling the truth and who is lying? King Solomon says: A wise judge can discern the truth and justice from the very nature of their claims. The first sign is that the truth-teller speaks calmly, in a still, small voice - truth is on his side, he knows he is right, and he has no need to become wild or agitated. But the liar speaks with loud noise: "Testimony! I swear to you!" - shouting, uttering vows with his lips, multiplying deceptions and ploys. Someone who walks with the truth appears far less excitable and far more confident. But someone who rages, shouts, swears, and tries all sorts of machinations shows that the truth is not on his side, and he imagines he can compensate for the lack of truth with bluster and theatrics, as if noise alone could prove the veracity of his words.
This is the meaning of "He who breathes faithfulness": "Faithfulness" (emunah) denotes truth, and "breathes" (yafiyach) refers to an effortless utterance, like a breath issuing from the mouth. For someone who speaks the truth, an effortless statement is enough, and through it he "tells righteousness" (yagid tzedek), because it is sufficient to establish the truth, and his words are worthy of belief. However, "a false witness breathes deceit": even though he is not content with a simple statement, but comes to give testimony in a booming voice and make a grand show, from his very speech one already realizes that the man is set on lying, and that his words possess neither substance nor truth.
Who Wins an Ideological Struggle?
We have already cited the example of the struggle between the guardian angel of Esav and Yaakov, which was also discussed in the weekly Parashah shiurim on the Hidabroot channel. There, Yaakov emerges limping upon his thigh, and yet we are told that Yaakov won. How so? Esav's angel emerges unscathed, while Yaakov emerges bruised and battered "until the sun rose upon him" - yet Yaakov is the victor. The explanation is that in a physical contest between two people, the one who delivers the final blow, the knockout, is the winner. But in an ideological struggle - where two enter a room, each presenting his arguments and philosophy to convince the other, and after two hours a commotion is heard, and one emerges with a black eye while the other emerges unharmed - who won? The one with the black eye. For if you could conclude the debate and prove your arguments with speech, why did you have to resort to violence? The moment you let violence speak, it is a sign that your arguments have run dry; you have nothing left to say, so you start speaking with your fists. The black eye is the victim's crown of victory. And so it says there: "And he saw that he could not prevail against him" - the angel saw that he could not defeat him in the ideological debate - and only then "did he touch the socket of his hip." One who cannot win with words begins to strike blows. And this is "a false witness breathes deceit": when you see someone making noise and theatrics, offering loud testimonies, oaths, and shouts, it shows that you cannot demonstrate your truth quietly and through wisdom, and so you resort to force - which only proves the poverty of your claims.
"There Is One Who Speaks Rashly, Like the Piercings of a Sword"
The Malbim continues: Do not be impressed if you see someone speaking haughty words through testimony, oaths, and shouting. "There is one who speaks rashly (boteh)" - an expression of utterings of the lips (bitui sefatayim), which generally refers to a vow or an oath, as in the language of the Torah and the expositions of Chazal. Thus, there is someone who swears an oath so that his words will be believed, and this is "like the piercings of a sword" - like one who comes to pierce his legal opponent with a sword. He has no truth behind him, so he comes with the force of the sword to substantiate his claims and wrongly incriminate his fellow.
"But the tongue of the wise brings healing" - "tongue" (lashon), as the Malbim consistently explains, indicates understanding (binah). The wise, who conduct themselves according to the rules of wisdom, investigate the matter with their tongue, through the power of their understanding; they examine the claims, deduce one matter from another, and uncover the lie within them. You sought, through your oath and the noise you made, to pierce your opponent - meaning, to convict him - but the wise judge, who understands what you are saying and what lies behind your words, heals him from that piercing. This does not mean an actual sword, but rather that your words sought to wound him, and the sage who investigates the matter heals him.
Lip and Tongue: "The Lip of Truth Shall Be Established Forever"
The Malbim distinguishes between "lip" (safah) and "tongue" (lashon), as we have seen several times: the lip is external, while the tongue is internal. Effortless, superficial speech is called safah, whereas speech uttered out of deep thought and contemplation is always called lashon. Even today this expression is used: when one wants to say that someone's words are not worth taking seriously, one says they are "from the lip outward" (insincere lip service) - superficial, external talk. The tongue, however, is something higher, emerging from understanding and intellect.
Accordingly: "The lip of truth shall be established forever" - truth does not require great intellect, elaborate rhetoric, or lofty speech. The lip alone is enough, even superficial speech, for the truth charts its own course. Just as the verse stated earlier, "He who breathes faithfulness" - truth does not require endless proofs; it is enough to breathe it forth like a light breath from the mouth - so too here: a mere lip is enough to utter the truth, and with that it will endure.
However, "but a lying tongue is only for a moment": when a person attempts to lie, he adduces proofs and marshals all his wisdom and insight - which is already a "tongue," the employment of intellect and inner depth - and to what end is all this tongue used? For falsehood. King Solomon says: It will not help you. "Only for a moment" - for a mere instant. You may have made an impression, but a moment later it will become clear that everything you said is vanity, and upon scrutiny it will be revealed as a lying tongue. Even if you presented logical, intellectual arguments, and even pseudo-scientific arguments designed to show that your words are correct - it stands only for a moment, and then collapses as the lie within it is exposed. Conversely, when truth is on your lips, even without great intellectual sophistication, you have spoken the truth, and it is readily apparent: "The lip of truth shall be established forever."
In summary:
We have learned two fundamental principles in these verses regarding guarding one's speech. The first: the fool immediately publicizes his anger and even his plans for vengeance, and in doing so he broadcasts his own disgrace and loses his ability to act; the prudent person conceals the anger and the humiliation and tells no one, while the wise person rises above it entirely and does not even feel anger in his heart. The second: truth needs no noise. For the speaker of truth, a gentle breath and simple language suffice, and his words endure forever; whereas the speaker of falsehood enlists oaths, shouting, and intellectual contrivances - like the thrusts of a sword - yet the tongue of the wise investigates and brings healing, and falsehood stands for only a fleeting moment before instantly collapsing.