In this part of Chapter 29, we address three verses that all share a single theme: self-control. One who rushes to speak and respond without listening and without deliberating; one who pampers his servant - his yetzer and his physical body - from his youth; and one who is incapable of restraining his anger. All three teach that when a person fails to hold the reins of his own life, those reins are ultimately wrested from his hands.
חָזִיתָ אִישׁ אָץ בִּדְבָרָיו, תִּקְוָה לִכְסִיל מִמֶּנּוּ׃ (כ) - If you see a man hasty in his words, there is more hope for a fool than for him. (20)
If you see a man hasty in his words, know that there is more hope for a fool than for him. What is meant by "hasty in his words"? Rashi explains: he rushes and panics to respond. There is the kind of person who answers you the moment you begin asking him a question. You tell him, "No, that's not what I meant" - and he has already blurted out a second answer. You say, "Wait, but I asked something else" - and he already has a third answer ready. Only at the very end does he say, "Ah, well, so what are you actually asking?" This is "Do you see a man hasty in his words" - he knows everything, and he has immediate answers for everything. Wait a moment, listen to the question carefully, understand it, and only then answer. This often happens to people with quick minds; because their thinking is fast, they are confident they always know and understand on the spot. The verse says: there is more to hope for from a fool than from him.
Rabbeinu Yonah in Pirkei Avos explains the exhortation "Be deliberate in judgment": these words were directed to halachic authorities and judges, warning them not to rely on their initial impression, but to proceed with great patience and fine scrutiny so as not to err in judgment. When people come before you for judgment, do not decide immediately; be deliberate, think through the matter thoroughly. For one who is hasty in rendering rulings is called negligent. Shooting from the hip is negligence. And if you might argue: but his intention was to speak the truth, so isn't he merely inadvertent rather than willfully negligent? Rabbeinu Yonah answers: he borders on intentional, for he failed to take to heart that "the heart of the hasty will not understand knowledge," since error is common to all human beings.
Yet the hasty person never imagines for a moment that error could apply to him. "I don't make mistakes; Baruch Hashem, I don't make mistakes." Someone once remarked: "In our house there is a division of roles - sometimes my wife is right, and sometimes I am wrong." And a woman once said: "I knew I married a man whose first name was 'Right,' but I didn't know his last name was 'Always.'" When both sides complain about one another, it usually means there is a grain of truth on both sides. But the reality is that error is found in every human being - even Moshe Rabbeinu admitted, "I was mistaken"; he conceded and was not ashamed.
This is also what our Sages meant when they taught: "Be careful in study, for an inadvertent error in study counts as intentional." A person might ask: Why is it treated so severely? After all, it was inadvertent - I merely erred in my learning! The answer is: you are judged as intentional, because had you been more deliberate, you would have caught your error and corrected it. Regarding this, Shlomo said: "Do you see a man hasty in his words, there is more hope for a fool than for him" - when someone rushes in his speech and issues halachic rulings immediately, there is more hope for a fool than for him. As our Sages said: "One whose heart is haughty in rendering halachic decisions is a fool, wicked, and arrogant."
The Vilna Gaon explains this verse based on the Gemara's dictum: "Patience, patience is worth four hundred zuz." One who is patient saves four hundred zuz. There, a man rushed to rip off a woman's head covering, believing she was a Jewish woman dressed immodestly, only for her to turn out to be a non-Jew, and in the end he was forced to pay a fine of four hundred zuz.
The Vilna Gaon adds a wonderful explanation of the end of the verse: when a wise man is hasty in his words - "there is hope for a fool from him" - the fool draws hope from him. The fool knows deep down that he behaves poorly, but when he sees a scholar acting like him, it reassures him: "Look, I am not the only one who does this. I thought this was just proof that I am foolish, but if scholars act this way too, that gives me legitimacy." Thus, the fool derives hope to continue acting as he does - from you and from your actions.
Ralbag explains why "there is more hope for a fool than for him": while the fool (kesil) acts foolishly and walks his senseless path, he at least knows that he does not know. And what is the benefit in that? That at a certain stage, he might ask for help, turning to someone who will explain things to him or guide him. He is a fool - but he is aware of it. In contrast, the person who is hasty in his words is convinced that he has a monopoly on wisdom and that he knows everything: "Don't explain it to me, I know, leave the job to the experts."
How often does this happen with tradesmen! Someone asks him: "Are you familiar with this appliance? Your knowledge about it is not the best, maybe call an expert." And he thinks: "What, should I look small?" And then the trial and error begins - he replaces a circuit board, replaces another part, and yet another, and who is financing his training program? You are. In the end, he says: "I have practically made the machine half new for you" - and you pay for it, when you could have simply bought a new one and been done with it. A person refuses to admit ignorance.
A washing machine technician - so be it; a refrigerator technician - so be it. But what happens when it is the doctor treating you? He should convene a consultation, gather several doctors, and ask: "There are such and such symptoms here; what do you think? Perhaps you are familiar with this issue?" Instead, he insists: "I know everything, the matter is under control, don't panic, we will run a few more tests." You can see he is floundering and does not understand - yet he will not pose a question to another, because he refuses to lower his pride: "I am considered the expert here, and now I should go consult someone else?" Indeed, people sometimes die from lack of knowledge and an unwillingness to admit a mistake. Regarding this it is said: "There is more hope for a fool than for him" - the fool at least knows he is a fool, and will therefore seek advice and turn to experts, whereas the one hasty in his words will never consult anyone.
The Malbim explains according to his consistent approach: The kesil is a person who knows the rules of wisdom, yet follows the desires of his heart. He can be very clever, but his lusts overpower him to act contrary to his knowledge. Even so, there is hope for him, because he knows the truth, and it is merely his yetzer that overpowers him. If so, it is possible that tomorrow or the next day he will succeed in subduing his yetzer, or that his desire will wane, and he will arrive at the truth.
However, the person who is hasty in his words, the Malbim defines, is someone who decides to speak errantly about Hashem and His providence, and to despise wisdom. He scoffs at the Torah itself. To such a person it is said: Even a fool has more hope than you, for the fool at least acknowledges the truth even if he acts otherwise due to his desires, whereas you undermine the very foundations of wisdom - and consequently, the fool is better off than you.
מְפַנֵּק מִנֹּעַר עַבְדּוֹ, וְאַחֲרִיתוֹ יִהְיֶה מָנוֹן׃ (כא) - "If one pampers his servant from youth, his end will be that he becomes a master." (21)
Rashi explains that "his servant" refers to the yetzer hara: you pamper it from your youth, meaning you follow the desires of your heart, and ultimately the yetzer hara will become ruler over you. "Manon" is related to "before the sun his name will reign (yinon)"; manon, yinon, and nin are all expressions of dominion, similar to "an heir (nin) arises in his father's place to rule over his estate." Here it means that the yetzer hara will be the ruler over you.
And this is reality. Initially, every person can overcome it; the reins are still in his hands. But when one pampers the yetzer hara from a young age, later on, even when he wants to change, he can no longer do so - he is bound in its hands. This is the deeper meaning of the phrase "and you come into the hands of sin (lidei aveirah)." Does a sin have hands? The answer is yes. One who comes to rescue a drowning person knows never to approach from the front, for then both will drown; one must grab him from behind so he does not drag down his rescuer. When a person reaches out a hand to a drowning man and the man grasps it, he drags him down with him. So it is with the yetzer hara: at first a person imagines everything is under control - "It's under control, I can handle it, a cigarette here, a cigarette there, it's not critical." But later on, see where the control went - there is no control, it is no longer up to him, and even at four in the morning he is searching for an open kiosk that sells cigarettes. Where did this stem from? From "pampering his servant from youth." It turns out that sin truly has hands: as long as a person holds onto the sin, he can let go of it; but once the sin grabs hold of him, it pulls him down and drowns him, and this is "and in the end he will become a ruler."
The Vilna Gaon explains: when a master flatters his servant from the start, he causes the servant to become a master over him. If you always speak to him flatteringly, give him the feeling that he is doing you a favor, and constantly ingratiate yourself with him - what does he feel? That he is the boss here.
And this is the matter of the yetzer hara. As Rashi explained, the yetzer hara is a servant to man, and man needs it: the Gemara says that were it not for the yetzer hara, a man would not marry a woman, and so too many things that a person would never do. It turns out that the yetzer hara was given to us as a servant, where I am in control and holding the reins. But if you do not manage matters properly, it will become a master: if you make it feel that you follow its lead, it will seize the reins, throw you out, and you will be dragged along, helpless.
The Malbim interprets the verse according to its plain meaning: one who pampers his servant so that he does not work while he is young, thinking that the youth is young, lacks strength, and should not be burdened - in the end he will be manon, an expression related to hona'ah (deception or distress), as in the phrase "the oppressing sword" (cherev hayonah), which denotes grief and anguish, like verbal hurt (ona'at devarim). For this servant will permanently neglect work, because you pitied and spared him from a young age.
And the parable applies to one who pampers the body, which is a servant to the soul. If you constantly cater to its pleasures and desires, the body will always demand its due - and when will a person engage in Torah? When will he perform mitzvot and fulfill the will of Hashem? "It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth." One must start from an early age; do not say, "Right now it is hard, I am still young." One who engages in Torah from his youth will engage in it as an adult and in old age. But one who did not engage in it at all in his youth, who never sat down to learn, never tasted the sweetness of study, never attended a Torah shiur - how will it suddenly come to him in his old age?
Therefore, a person must dedicate himself and persevere. There are ba'alei teshuvah who took this seriously, and such people "will still bring forth fruit in old age." You see a ninety-year-old man, barely able to walk, coming to a Torah shiur and never missing the Daf Yomi. But one who postponed it - "When I grow old, when I retire" - suddenly grows old, and he no longer has strength, or desire, or understanding; and if he does manage to come to a shiur, he sleeps from start to finish. Why? Because he finds no interest in it and does not understand what is being discussed. Had he come and learned at a young age, he would see that as he grows older, this is the joy of his life and he has a purpose. People who retire and come to the beit midrash - this is the true pleasure of life. And one who does not, what does he do all day? Fights with his wife. A man of sixty-five or seventy gets divorced. What happened? He is underfoot all day long: "Why did you cook like that? Why did you do this? Why are you wasting money?" - driving her to distraction, after forty years of a well-run home. Wouldn't it be better for him to come to the beit midrash and pour his energy into positive things, giving his wife peace at home? If one does not accustom himself from youth, in old age it is very difficult to change habits. "One who pampers his servant from youth will have him turn out ungrateful in the end" - in the end, the yetzer hara will deceive you and cause you grief, pulling you after all kinds of nonsense and vanities, and will not allow you to do what you truly need to do when the time comes.
אִישׁ אַף יְגָרֶה מָדוֹן, וּבַעַל חֵמָה רַב פָּשַׁע׃ (כב) - "An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression." (22)
An "angry man" (ish af) is an irritable person. Rabbeinu Yonah writes in Sha'arei Teshuvah: the matter of anger, in most instances and for most people, is a great evil and severe ruin, for the yetzer hara tells him today "do this," and tomorrow tells him "go serve idols." One who becomes angry loses control, and one who loses control is already in the hands of his yetzer hara, and the yetzer can now tell him to do whatever it wants.
And our Sages further said: whoever becomes angry, all kinds of Gehinnom rule over him, because out of anger he comes to commit every transgression, and there is no limit to the evil of this trait. If someone provoked him, he goes and breaks his belongings, strikes him, and publicly humiliates him. My friend, you have lost your World to Come in a single moment! Shaming someone in public, causing property damage, theft - what haven't you done? "But do you know how much he provoked me?"... Those who lose their temper must know: all kinds of Gehinnom rule over him, and he is capable of committing any transgression at that moment. The wrathful person is prone to sins and vulnerable to harm, as it says: "and a furious man abounds in transgression."
Come and see: Chazal say that one who rends his garments excessively over his deceased relative receives lashes. Even though the person is in a difficult emotional state and his deceased lies before him, rending excessively shows that he lost control, and losing control is never good. How much more so one who breaks vessels in his rage, regarding whom Rabbeinu Yonah says: he has done two wrongs. First, he destroyed property. Second, he allowed his anger to dominate him and lead him to violate the words of the Torah - for when you are angry, you see nothing, and the words of the Torah are as nothing before your eyes. From that moment, a battle is waged against him by the urge of anger to lead him astray from his religion, as it is said: "and a furious man abounds in transgression" - many transgressions lie in wait for him.
And our Rabbis have already taught us: if you see someone breaking vessels in his rage, let him be in your eyes as though he is serving idols. Heaven spare us, there are people - especially those far from mitzvot - with whom, when they become angry, it is dangerous to stand beside them. If he is violent, he is capable of anything, may Hashem have mercy; and even if he is not physically violent, he is capable of seizing objects, throwing and smashing them. One who possesses such a nature - this is terrible and dreadful, and in this act it is as though he served idols. For such is the way of the yetzer hara: today it tells him "do this," and tomorrow it tells him "go serve other gods."
It has already been noted what the Ari z"l teaches: anger is so dreadful that when a person becomes angry, he "tears his soul in his anger" - as it were, his holy soul is taken from him and replaced with a soul from the Sitra Achra, a soul from the impure husks (kelipot). The holy Ari adds that even if someone had completed all the rectifications (tikkunim) for all his sins throughout his entire life, he must now start everything anew, for his soul has been torn away. There is nothing more terrible than anger, and how much must a person place a rein upon his soul and know how to check himself, so that he does not, Heaven forbid, lose control.
It is told of Rabbi Chaim Vital that the Ari z"l looked at him and said: I see a trace of idolatry upon your forehead; what did you do yesterday? He replied that a child had provoked him, and he flared up in anger. Consider this: self-control is required with children as well. Even there, one must know how to restrain oneself and not lose his temper. If not, "and a master of wrath is abundant in transgression" - through this, one comes to many transgressions.
The Vilna Gaon explains that the "man of anger" constantly stirs up quarrels, because everything irritates him immediately: why did he pay that much, why did he give me this, why is the product like this? He has no forbearance, no composure - he immediately boils over. "An angry man stirs up strife" refers to one whose anger is still confined to words and has not reached deeds; "and a master of wrath" is one who translates his fury into action, and such a person is already "abundant in transgression," putting transgressions into practice. There is a person who only feels angry - and while terrible, it remains internal; and there is a person who acts upon his rage, and then his transgressions are manifold, being capable of harming another person and damaging his property simply because he was angry at him.
There is another explanation of "stirs up strife": the strife he stirs up is Above. A person causes strife between us and our Father in Heaven, for when there is conflict below, accusers arise Above. After all, what is dispute? I level accusations against you, saying you are this and that, and you level accusations against me, saying I am this and that - and as a result, both of us arouse the heavenly Accuser to prosecute both of us.
And the power of the strife Above stems from the strife below: if there is no strife below, it cannot engender strife Above. Similarly, it is written that a person who is vigilant regarding lashon hara has no accusers in Heaven. Consider how wondrous this is: even if he deserves punishment and is not a great tzaddik, because he does not speak lashon hara, when the Accuser comes Above to speak ill of him, the Holy One, blessed be He, says: "I do not want to hear it." "He has not beheld iniquity in Yaakov, neither has He seen perverseness in Yisrael" (Bamidbar 23:21) - He does not wish to hear accusations against him. And if you say: But did he not commit sins? The Holy One, blessed be He, responds: "He does not listen to lashon hara; I, too, will not listen to lashon hara about him." Note this well: if there is no prosecutor, there is no trial, and no harsh judgments are executed against him. It is like a court hearing where the judge asks where the prosecutor is, and the prosecutor is stuck in traffic - a technical victory, and the judge dismisses the case. When there is no prosecutor, the case is closed. It may well be that Heaven will still judge him later, but in any event, for now there is no prosecutor; and perhaps in Heaven Hashem will continue not to listen to the prosecutor, because this person refuses to listen to lashon hara. In any case, we see that when a person creates a quarrel here below, he arouses the Master of Strife Above - "an angry man stirs up strife," dragging the heavenly accusers into action.
Ralbag explains that the man of anger thereby corrupts his soul, for in the intensity of his fury, the Torah will be unable to prevent him from doing whatever his anger incites him to do. This echoes what Rabbeinu Yonah explained: since one lacks self-control, anger inevitably drives him to commit even the most severe transgressions.
The Malbim, here as well as in Megillat Esther and other places, distinguishes between af (anger) and chemah (wrath). The verse sets them in parallel: "a man of anger" (ish af) against "a master of wrath" (ba'al chemah), and "strife" (madon) against "transgression" (pesha). The difference is that chemah is always internal, whereas af is external. "And his wrath burned within him" (Esther 1:12) - inside; in contrast, "For a fire is kindled in My nostril (appi)" (Devarim 32:22) - one sees fire emerging, the nose flushing red, foam at the lips. Af refers to external anger, while chemah refers to internal wrath.
Therefore, an "ish af," who harbors no deep internal wrath but merely external flare-ups, when he wants to harm his fellow - "he stirs up strife." Madon (strife), says the Malbim, is always waged through legal arguments and litigation. He seeks a legitimate pretext to contend with his fellow, suing him in court through formal claims - what we might call extracting money from him through legal means.
A "ba'al chemah," however, whose anger burns internally, carries out the most destructive actions. He does not wait for a court ruling to prevail, nor does he wait to collect what he feels is his according to the law. Wrath burns within him - he will go and burn, destroy, steal, or take by force. And if you tell him, "This is not yours, you are not entitled to it," he does not care. A man of wrath does not seek a pretext of self-justification or pretend to act righteously; he has no qualms about acting maliciously and inflicting great damage. Therefore, he is "abundant in transgression": all crimes become leveled before him, and he multiplies transgressions, because wrath compels him to act without reason or logic.
These three verses present the same point before us from three angles. "Do you see a man hasty in his words" - one who rushes to respond and issue rulings loses the truth, and there is more hope for a fool who knows that he does not know, for he will still seek counsel and ask. "He who pampers his servant from youth" - the yetzer and the physical body were given to man as servants, and if he pampers them from his youth, he will ultimately find himself a slave to them, for as long as I hold onto the sin I can let go, but once it takes hold of me, it drowns me. "An angry man stirs up strife" - anger abandons a person into the hands of his yetzer, arouses accusers on High, and leads from words to deeds and from minor offenses to grave sins. What they all have in common: pausing for a moment, composed deliberation, and self-control are what establish a person as master over himself rather than a slave.