Nedarim, Chapter Nine, Mishnah Nine. In this mishnah the Sages teach us another type of opening through which a vow can be released: a person's own honor and the honor of his children.
"Posechin la'adam bichvod atzmo uvichvod banav" - a person may rely, as an opening for his vow, on his own honor or on the honor of his children.
The case discussed in the mishnah:
A man made a vow that obligates him to divorce his wife. After he vowed, they approach him and say to him: "Ilu hayisa yodea shelemachar omrin alecha..." - had you known what would be said about you and about your household the day after the divorce, would you have vowed? And they spell out two sides of the matter before him:
"Kach hi vasto shel peloni, megaresh es nashav" - such is the nature and conduct of so-and-so: he divorces his wives. Here we have an injury to the honor of the one who vowed himself.
"Ve'al benosecha yehu omrin: benos gerushos hen" - about his daughters they will say that they are the daughters of a divorced woman, and they will ask: "What did the mother of these girls do that she was divorced?" - what happened there, what was found in the mother of these girls that she was divorced. Negative rumors of this sort accompany a divorce and injure the honor of the sons and daughters.
The conclusion of the mishnah:
When the one who vowed hears what is destined to be said about him and about his daughters as a result of divorcing his wife, and he says: "Ilu hayisi yodea shekein, lo hayisi noder" - "harei zeh mutar". This is a valid opening, and his vow is released.
And we are not concerned that perhaps he is not telling the truth - that perhaps he is embarrassed to admit that he would have divorced her in any event, or that he was already aware from the outset of the concern for injury to his honor and to the honor of his children. Once he states before us that he would not have vowed, we believe him.
In summary: In this mishnah we learned that the honor of the one who vowed and the honor of his children serve as an opening for releasing a vow. In the case of a vow that obligates a divorce, we set before him the injury to his own honor ("such is the nature of so-and-so, he divorces his wives") and the injury to the honor of his daughters ("they are the daughters of a divorced woman"); and once he responds that had he known he would not have vowed - the vow is released, and we are not concerned that he is not telling the truth.