We are in chapter 1 of Maseches Avos, mishnah 14 - the third of Hillel's statements in this section of the tractate (and we will return to his words further on). This is probably the most famous of all his sayings: "Hu hayah omer: im ein ani li, mi li? U'chesheani le'atzmi, mah ani? V'im lo achshav, eimasai?" - "He used to say: If I am not for myself, who is for me? And when I am for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?" The statement sounds paradoxical, and it echoes other paradoxical statements of Hillel found elsewhere in Shas.
"Im ein ani li mi li" - "If I am not for myself, who is for me?":
The Bartenura explains that the entire subject of the mishnah is how a person earns his share in the World to Come. Regarding the fulfillment of the Torah's mitzvos and its study - "if I am not for myself, who is for me?": if a person does not do it himself, there is nobody else who can do it in his place. Unlike a person's other needs in this world, where someone else can act as his agent - looking after his health, his home and his money, giving him gifts, and even winning a raffle on his behalf - the World to Come is an entirely internal matter. It is a function of what a person does with himself and out of himself, of his own private choices and the exercise of his free will. Whatever others do for him is, by definition, not his own act, and therefore it will not become part of his World to Come. It emerges that only a person himself can acquire his world, and he may not rely on anyone else.
The Bartenura's explanation revolves around the World to Come alone, but others, among them the Rambam, understand that the words apply to matters of this world as well: not only to attaining the World to Come, but also to self-refinement, to absorbing good character traits and worthy personal qualities, and to self-improvement. Acting in one's own interest here does not mean material gain, but acting for the sake of one's own development and for what truly matters.
"Im ani kan hakol kan" - a parallel statement in the Gemara:
The first part of the mishnah echoes another statement of Hillel, brought in Maseches Sukkah (53): "It was taught: they said about Hillel the Elder, when he would rejoice at the Simchas Beis Hasho'evah" - the festive event that took place in the Beis Hamikdash each day of Sukkos - he would regularly say: "Im ani kan hakol kan, v'im ein ani kan mi kan" - "If I am here, everything is here; and if I am not here, who is here?"
This statement is puzzling, and especially so coming from Hillel. Hillel is regarded as the archetype of humility after Moshe Rabbeinu, and the stories about him in the Talmud stress again and again how patient, warm and tolerant he was, a genuinely humble man. How, then, could he say: if I am here - everyone is here, and if not - there is nothing here?
For this reason many Rishonim, among them Rashi and the Ritva, understand that Hillel was speaking in the name of the Shechinah of the Holy One: if the Shechinah is here - everything is here, and if not - there is nothing here. The Ben Yehoyada adds a beautiful point, that the name 'Hillel' has the numerical value of 65, the same as the Divine Name Adnus. The Rashash, however, notes that this requires further study, since elsewhere the Gemara says that the Shechinah did not dwell in the Beis Hamikdash during the period of the Second Temple.
It is possible to understand Hillel's words as referring to himself, and then their meaning is precisely the idea that arises from our mishnah: as far as what lies within a person's control and what he has the power to change, everything depends on his choice alone. Many things happen around him, and they may well be important, but he can do nothing about them; and if he can do something about them - then they fall within his area of responsibility. What he is able to do, he is obligated to do, and about what he is unable to do there is no point in worrying. Therefore, when he is present at an event - as far as he is concerned everything is here, since this is all that he is able to bring with him.
Moreover, one can see in this a general principle, something like Immanuel Kant's 'categorical imperative' - a standard for what every person ought to do. If Hillel is present and gives everything he has, everyone should follow his example, and then indeed everyone will be here. This resembles the well known paradox: what weight does my vote carry in an election in which a hundred million votes are cast, whether I vote or not? And the answer is that if everyone felt that way, nobody would vote at all. Each person must do his fair share, and if everyone does so, it all comes together, and if not, it does not. All a person can bring with him are his own correct decisions, and he must take responsibility for himself and for his actions, since there is nobody else who will do it for him. That is the first stage.
"U'chesheani le'atzmi mah ani" - "And when I am for myself, what am I?":
After Hillel establishes that all that truly matters is a person's choices, which are the only things he has control over, he goes on to point out: "U'chesheani le'atzmi mah ani" - "And when I am for myself, what am I?" If a person's entire focus is on himself alone - what is he really? If the framework through which he views everything is entirely his own World to Come, as the Bartenura explains, or his own self-fulfillment, his personal perfection and the development of his character traits, then he has missed the whole point.
The Bartenura: It will never be enough. A person's obligations and his potential are infinite, and however much he invests, how far has he really come?
The Sforno: A person's focus needs to be on giving back, on helping others and investing in them. Even though the only thing within his control is his own choices, those choices can be choices to bring light and goodness to others as well.
Jewish Identity: The Part and the Whole:
This point is central to the Jewish understanding of identity and of how a person ought to view himself. If a person looks at himself only through the ambition to be the greatest 'me' that he can be, that is the tragic Hellenistic-Western conception of self-actualization alone. And if so, "mah ani" - "what am I?" In the context of the Jewish people, of humanity, and of the entire universe, he is no more than a tiny point. If that is his whole content, then it is a very small world indeed.
And indeed, "im ani kan hakol kan" - "if I am here, everything is here": the Mishnah in Sanhedrin teaches that every person is like an entire world, and whoever saves a single life is as though he saved a whole world, because every person is infinitely important. That is true, and it is true of each and every individual. But the world is far larger, and focusing on one tiny fragment alone misses the bigger picture.
A Jew's identity should lie in his being part of the Jewish people - not an individual searching to actualize and perfect himself, but one who fills his role within Knesses Yisrael in achieving its destiny. This would seem to be a matter of the highest importance.
To what may this be compared? To an Olympic athlete, the very best of the best, whose secret to success lies in the superhuman muscles of his arm. The muscles are the secret ingredient; they are what produce the achievement. But if you were to take that muscle by itself and place it on the podium, detached from the rest of the person, the muscle would be useless and repulsive, with no chance and no purpose. Detached from the greater whole, it is nothing.
So too a person: even if he is the most important piece of the puzzle, and even if it is through him that the Jewish people will arrive at what it is destined to reach, he is still only one piece of the puzzle, and once separated from the other pieces he loses the context, the meaning and all of the significance. Therefore his efforts at self-actualization and self-perfection must take place in the context of his role within the Jewish people.
In Practice: One Who Separates Himself from the Community:
This principle is brought down in practical halachah, in a stunning ruling. Its source is the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah, and the Rambam rules accordingly in Hilchos Teshuvah (chapter 3, halachah 11): "One who separates himself from the ways of the community, even though he has committed no transgressions, but has merely set himself apart from the congregation of Israel and does not perform mitzvos together with them, does not join in their distress and does not fast on their fast days, but rather goes his own way like one of the nations of the land, as though he were not one of them, has no share in the World to Come".
This person has transgressed nothing and has done nothing wrong. He has merely separated himself socially from the rest of the Jewish community: he does not join them in their mitzvos, does not include himself in their suffering, does not fast on their fast days, but simply goes his own way and does his own thing, and does not identify specifically with the Jewish people. And nevertheless, he forfeits his share in the World to Come entirely.
This fits perfectly with the Bartenura's explanation that our Mishnah is speaking about the World to Come: although all of Israel have a share in the World to Come, that is precisely because the individual is part of Israel. A person who is occupied only with himself and is disconnected from the community - who needs him? The Holy One does not need the private perfection of the individual; He wants the Jewish people as a whole to achieve its destiny, and the individual can take a role in that, and that will be his merit. But one who cuts himself off from this has missed the entire message and is useless, and he has no place and no share in the World to Come - like an arm muscle lying alone on the podium.
Mutual Responsibility - the Gemara in Shabbos:
Another Gemara, one that Rav Noach Weinberg would quote constantly in his work of reaching out to unaffiliated Jews, highlights how vital it is to reach out to a fellow Jew in order to help him and set him on the right path. The context of the Gemara (Shabbos 55a) is that every good decree that goes out from before Hashem is fulfilled, whereas a harsh decree can be annulled if a person does teshuvah. There is, however, one exception we find, in which Hashem, as it were, changed from good to harsh, based on the verse in Yechezkel (9:4). It is a frightening Gemara.
Rabbi Acha the son of Rabbi Chanina said: Never did a good measure go out from the mouth of Hashem and He then retracted it for harm, except in this case. As it says: "And Hashem said to him: Pass through the city, through Yerushalayim, and inscribe a tav upon the foreheads of the men who sigh and cry over all the abominations done in her midst" - they were to mark the letter tav, the last letter of the alef-beis, on the foreheads of all those who sighed and cried out over the abominations of the city.
Hashem said to Gavriel, who carries out the attribute of justice: "Go and inscribe on the foreheads of the righteous a tav of ink, so that the destroying angels should have no power over them; and on the foreheads of the wicked a tav of blood, so that the destroying angels should have power over them" and punish the sinners of the city.
The attribute of justice said before Hashem: "Master of the world, how are these different from those?" - what is the difference between those marked in ink and those marked in blood? He said to her: "These are completely righteous and those are completely wicked." She said before Him: "Master of the world, it was in their power to protest and they did not protest" - the righteous could have said something and gotten involved in order to bring the wicked back to the proper path, and they did not do so. He said to her: "It is revealed and known before Me that had they protested, they would not have been accepted." She said before Him: "Master of the world, if it is revealed before You, was it revealed to them?" - You, who know everything, knew that the protest would not help, but they did not know that, and they did not even try; and since they did not try, they are equally responsible. And indeed, the Gemara concludes, Hashem, as it were, changed His approach, and the righteous were the first to be punished.
The point the Gemara is stressing is that all of Israel are responsible for one another: every Jew is accountable for his fellow Jew and is obligated to get involved. And even if it is clear to him that the matter is beyond his ability and that they will not listen to him, that does not exempt him. He has to be involved, to be aware of the needs of others, and to do his very best to help and to bring them close; and if he did not do so, he bears the responsibility, whether or not his efforts would ultimately have succeeded.
"V'im lo achshav eimasai" - and if not now, when:
The Bartenura explains two interpretations here, which in effect sum up the two fundamental approaches found in the Mishnah:
According to the focus on the World to Come: if not now - meaning not in this world, which is the great opportunity - then when? For there are two stages in history: the stage we are in right now, in which eternity can be acquired, and the second stage, in which one lives that eternity with Hashem, experiences it and enjoys it. Someone who does not do it now, when does he intend to do it? Now or never.
The second interpretation, which perhaps speaks to us more because it delivers a wake-up kick: regarding a person's efforts at self-realization, self-improvement and earning the World to Come through keeping the mitzvos and learning Torah, whoever does it earlier is praiseworthy.
And why? First, who guarantees him that tomorrow will come, and who knows whether he will be able to do it then. And second, even if tomorrow is an ordinary day like any other, he will not be any younger, and he will not necessarily have the same strength; his energy will be somewhat diminished, and he may be more deeply entrenched in his bad habits. There is, then, no better time than the present to move and to make this life count: to fix himself and his relationships, to keep his mitzvos, to learn his Torah and to earn his share in the World to Come.
Let us close with an insight that is said nowadays, and I do not know its source: a person lives two lives, and the second life begins the moment he realizes that he has only one life. These words resonate deeply. Although no young person is able to picture his life coming to an end and that this is a limited opportunity, when Hashem created the angel of death, the possibility of human mortality, it was "very good," and it is the best thing that could have happened to us. For we have to understand, and the sooner the better, that this is the only life we have, that we have to make it count, that every minute is precious, that the clock is ticking and that the seconds do not come back. "V'im lo achshav eimasai" - if not now, when do we intend to begin turning our lives around, becoming better people, keeping the mitzvos, learning Torah, refining ourselves and earning the World to Come?