"Room" four hundred and sixty-three in the hall of Hayom Yom.
Sunday, 4 Iyar, 19th of the Omer, 5703.
Shiurim: Here, on Sunday, we begin a new parshah - Chumash, Emor, first parshah with Rashi's commentary.
Tehillim, 4th of the month, we say from chapter 23 up to and including chapter 28.
Tanya, we begin a new chapter on this day - chapter 46 - from its beginning, from the word "veyesh", and the shiur concludes on page 65 with the words "chavero eilav".
The topic discussed in the daily teaching is the hanhagos associated with a child's third birthday - what is related to the haircut and which hanhagos we begin to observe with hiddur for the child at this age. The teaching is taken from two different letters by the Rebbe Rayatz from different periods: the first line and a half is from a letter the Rebbe Rayatz wrote in Tammuz 5692, and the second section is from the month of Menachem Av 5702.
In the first section he writes: "It is a Jewish custom not to shave and not to cut the hair of a child's head until he turns three years old". Meaning, until age three we do not cut his hair at all and do not touch his hair. In the original letter of the Rebbe Rayatz the wording is "not to shave the child and not to touch the hair of his head", and the Rebbe explained in his own words that the intent is "not to touch", meaning not to cut at all - not even a little. Until age three we do not touch the hair at all.
The second section, as mentioned, is from another letter that the Rebbe Rayatz wrote to Rabbi Shmuel Zalmanov in 5702, and it is the section that the Rebbe would routinely quote in every letter he sent to parents on their child's third birthday. And these are his words: "Cutting the hair - \"upshernish\" [=haircut] (of a child) - is a great matter among Jewish customs".
Until here we spoke about the negative aspect - not to touch the hair until age three. Now we will explain the positive aspect: what is the reason to cut the hair of his head specifically at age three, and what is special about this? The very cutting of the hair of the head inherently contains a very great positive matter, and he specifies: "And its main essence is in the chinuch of leaving the peyos of the head" - what is the foundation and basis for this great matter among Jewish customs? The chinuch of the child in "leaving the peyos of the head".
For there is a negative commandment in the Torah not to "round the corner of his head", which means to leave the peyos. Until age three, when not a single hair on the head was touched, there is no distinction for the peyos; and at age three we cut all the hair and leave the peyos of the head. This is the great custom, through which we give the child chinuch in this wondrous matter - for the mitzvah of leaving the peyos of the head.
Now, on this day, when the child turns three and his chinuch in this mitzvah begins, we begin to observe with hiddur and do a few more matters with him. And so the Rebbe Rayatz writes: "And from the day of the cutting and leaving the peyos of the head" - from the day we cut all the rest of the hair and leave the peyos, which is the main chinuch at this age - it is customary to observe a few more matters with hiddur with the child, and the Rebbe specifies.
One matter is not specified here - the matter of a head covering. There is another letter in which the Rebbe Rayatz writes, that from age three one should make an effort that the child sleeps with a head covering; and as the Rebbe notes in one place, regarding the actual matter of the child having a head covering - we begin this much earlier. This he does not mention here.
What does he mention? To begin to observe with hiddur from age three - "to accustom the child in the bearing of a tallis katan", that from age three the child should walk with a tallis katan. And in this too there is a chiddush that the Rebbe Rayatz emphasizes. What is the chiddush? If we follow the order of things in the Shulchan Aruch of the Alter Rebbe, siman 16 in the laws of tzitzis, the Alter Rebbe mentions there that the chinuch of a child for tzitzis is from age nine. In the Siddur - which the Alter Rebbe wrote later, and it is considered the "mishnah acharonah" of his halachic decisions - he brings it much earlier and writes that the chinuch of a tallis katan is from age six. And here the Rebbe Rayatz introduces a chiddush that the matter begins even earlier - that from age three we should already observe hiddur in the bearing of a tallis katan.
It is interesting to add, that there is a tzavaah of the Rebbe Rashab, in which he writes how the hanhagah should be, and there he writes that when the child begins to walk on his feet we already dress him in tzitzis - and walking on his feet is even before age three. In any case, here in the letter it states that from age three there is the hiddur of a tallis katan. Afterwards, in sichos, the Rebbe also analyzed the wording "the bearing of a tallis katan" - it does not say "to dress him in a tallis katan" but rather "the bearing of a tallis katan". "Bearing" (nesiah) is a wondrous expression, as we know in the Torah "ki tisa et rosh"; meaning, a child walking with a tallis katan - it is not a technical garment that he wears, but rather it has a very deep inner meaning.
An additional matter that he adds: "And birchos hashachar" - one should say birchos hashachar with the child. "And birkas hamazon" - of course, for a small child not the full birkas hamazon, but rather a more abbreviated text for small children, but to begin to observe this with hiddur from age three. "And krias shema al hamitah" - to read krias shema al hamitah with him from age three. In this too there are those who begin even earlier, but the time when one must begin to observe with hiddur - even if they were not particular beforehand - is from age three.
To complete the matter of cutting the hair - which as stated at the beginning, before age three one should not do this at all - there are many letters from the Rebbe on this, and some of them are compiled in the sefer called "Shulchan Menachem". There, many letters are compiled regarding various questions that people asked the Rebbe: to delay the cutting of the hair, for example to Lag BaOmer, and not to do it early, but specifically to delay; what happens if it falls on Rosh Chodesh, when we do not cut hair; if it falls on Erev Pesach or during the Nine Days, and so forth - references to all sorts of dates, which are detailed there in the Rebbe's letters, for every situation in the custom of cutting the hair. This is a very important custom, and it is proper and worthwhile to do it in the written and correct manner.