In the previous section we learned how, through teshuvah out of love, deliberate sins are transformed into merits. Now we will look at the difference between the value of something that assists a mitzvah and the mitzvah itself, examine what a teshuvah that is not out of love accomplishes, and arrive at the Alter Rebbe's words at the end of the chapter regarding the vitality contained in drops of seed that were emitted in vain.
The value of the assisting act - three examples from halachah:
In one of his sichos the Rebbe brings examples of matters in which the assisting act takes on unusual force and importance, and yet even so it does not reach the level we are speaking about in teshuvah out of love:
The preparations for milah: It is well known that bris milah overrides Shabbos, even though it involves drawing blood, which is a forbidden labor, and it is likewise performed on Yom Kippur. But what is the law regarding the preparations for the milah, such as sharpening the knife and the other acts needed to make the milah possible? The Tannaim disagree about this in the Mishnah in Maseches Shabbos, and in the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer the preparations for milah do override Shabbos. According to his view, even the merely assisting act takes on such force that one may desecrate Shabbos for it.
Building the sukkah: On the night of Sukkos a person sits in the sukkah, eats a kezayis there, and recites the berachah "asher kideshanu bemitzvosav vetzivanu leisheiv basukkah." The Talmud Yerushalmi rules that even one who builds a sukkah recites a berachah, "asher kideshanu bemitzvosav vetzivanu laasos sukkah," since without building the sukkah there would be no sitting in it. This was not accepted as the halachah, but we have here an example of the importance granted to the assisting act.
Carrying the blood: It is known that the thought of the kohen serving in the Beis HaMikdash can invalidate the offering (a thought about the wrong time or the wrong place and the like), and this applies during the significant services, such as the slaughtering and the sprinkling of the blood on the altar. Nevertheless, if the slaughtering and the sprinkling were performed with proper intent, but while carrying the blood in the vessel from the place of slaughter to the altar the kohen had an invalidating thought, the offering is disqualified. The reason: carrying the blood is an act without which the sprinkling of the blood would be impossible.
And yet, in all of these examples the assisting act receives importance but does not become the thing itself. One who desecrates Shabbos by sharpening the knife has still not fulfilled the mitzvah of milah; one who recites a berachah on building the sukkah has still not fulfilled "basukkos teishvu shivas yamim"; and one who carries the blood has still not sprinkled it on the altar. The assistance is awarded a "certificate of appreciation," but it is not on the same level as the thing itself.
In teshuvah out of love, by contrast, the deliberate sins do not merely receive the importance of an assisting act; they become like the thing itself, because they accomplished what a mitzvah accomplishes: tzavsa vechibur, a bond and attachment to the Holy One, blessed be He. In the end, it was precisely the desolation and the distance that gave birth to the thirst. And again it must be stressed: this does not mean that the sin brought about closeness in the simple sense, but rather, as was explained at length above, the sin brought about the thirst, and the thirst is what led to the teshuvah.
Teshuvah that is not out of love:
What is the status of a person whose teshuvah is not on the level of love? Take someone who stumbled in eating forbidden foods, and then suddenly caught himself and decided that from today he accepts upon himself the yoke of Heaven and will be properly careful about kashrus, but he does not feel that thirst we have been describing.
Such teshuvah is a "teshuvah nechonah" - a proper teshuvah, sincere, genuine and valid according to halachah: abandoning the sin and resolving for the future, "turn away from evil and do good." The Holy One, blessed be He, forgives him and he does not receive the punishment, as was explained earlier.
But an ordinary teshuvah does not have the power to uproot the force of the kelipah and to raise the vitality from there back to holiness. Those energies that descended into the three impure kelipos as a result of the forbidden foods do not ascend to holiness, and therefore "מכל מקום לא נעשו לו כזכויות ואין עולים מהקליפה לגמרי עד כי יבוא יומם" - "nevertheless they have not become merits for him, and they do not ascend from the kelipah entirely until 'their day comes'" - until the fulfillment of the promise "He will swallow up death forever." The only two paths for such an elevation are teshuvah out of love, or waiting for the time when "their day comes"; and as long as neither has arrived, he has no ability to raise that vitality to holiness.
"But the vitality in the drops of seed that came out of him in vain":
Until now the Alter Rebbe has been dealing with forbidden relations, where the rectification comes through teshuvah out of love or through waiting for "their day comes." At the end of the chapter he introduces something astonishing regarding the vitality in drops of seed emitted in vain: on the one hand the impurity is more severe than that of forbidden relations, and on the other hand the rectification is easier.
His words: "אף שירדה ונכללה בשלוש קליפות הטמאות" - "even though it has descended and been absorbed into the three impure kelipos." With one who stumbles in this matter, the vitality descends literally into the three impure kelipos. Seemingly, as has been explained, there is no way to raise the vitality from there other than teshuvah out of love or waiting for the day to come. And yet the Alter Rebbe establishes that specifically this sin ascends from there through a proper teshuvah, that very teshuvah which is not out of love, provided that it is accompanied by intense kavanah in the recitation of Shema before retiring at night.
"Intense kavanah" means exactly what it says: saying the words of Krias Shema al hamitah each night with attention to the meaning of the words. The power of Krias Shema al hamitah is immense; it nullifies the kelipos and raises up the sparks of holiness that fell into the three impure kelipos as a result of the sin.
"A double-edged sword" - the power of Krias Shema al hamitah:
This principle is known from the writings of the Arizal, and the Alter Rebbe notes that it is already hinted at in the Gemara (and once he has drawn the hint out from potential into actuality, it is as good as explicit): "כל הקורא קריאת שמע על מיטתו כאילו אוחז חרב של שתי פיות" - "whoever recites Krias Shema upon his bed is as though he holds a two-edged sword," and about this it says, "a double-edged sword in their hand." A sword with two blades, and each blade has its own function:
The first edge: to slay the bodies of the "chitzonim," the external forces that became a garment for the vitality within those drops. Those drops became clothed in bodies of kelipah, and first these must be put to death.
The second edge: to raise the vitality out of them, for it is not enough to slay the garments; the sparks must be extracted from there and returned to holiness, as is known to those familiar with the wisdom of Kabbalah.
We find, then, that here is a matter available to every person: it requires neither waiting for "their day comes" nor teshuvah on the level of love, but simply Krias Shema al hamitah with intense kavanah.
In one of the sefarim it is written that "intense kavanah" includes not only attention to the meaning of the words, but also thinking, while reciting, about this very matter - about the power contained in Krias Shema to slay the bodies of the chitzonim, "a double-edged sword in their hand" - and it is the combination of both kavanos that accomplishes this great thing.
Why is this sin not listed among the forbidden relations?
The Alter Rebbe continues: "ולכן לא הוזכר עוון זרע לבטלה בתורה בכלל ביאות אסורות, אף שחמור מהן" - "and therefore the sin of wasting seed is not mentioned in the Torah among the forbidden relations, even though it is more severe than they are." The Torah lists the relations that are forbidden, and this sin is not mentioned among them. Even those who enumerate the mitzvos do not count it as a mitzvah in its own right: the Rambam, the Ramban and the Semag do not count it, and only one of the enumerators mentions it as being included in the prohibition of "lo sinaf," and he is an unusual case. From this one might have thought that its absence from the list indicates that it is a lighter matter, since it is the severe matters that are listed there; and therefore the Alter Rebbe stresses "even though it is more severe than they are" - it is more severe than all the forbidden relations, and the reason for this will be explained further on.
In summary: In this section we learned that although an act which assists a mitzvah does receive importance and force (the preparations for milah according to Rabbi Eliezer, the berachah of "laasos sukkah" in the Talmud Yerushalmi, and the carrying of the blood which can be invalidated by thought), it is still not the mitzvah itself; whereas in teshuvah out of love the deliberate sins become the thing itself, because they brought about tzavsa vechibur, a bond and attachment. A teshuvah that is not out of love is a proper teshuvah and the Holy One, blessed be He, forgives in its wake, but it does not have the power to raise the vitality out of the kelipah until "their day comes." By contrast, the vitality in drops of seed emitted in vain, even though it has descended into the three impure kelipos, does ascend from there through a proper teshuvah together with intense kavanah in Krias Shema al hamitah, which is like "a two-edged sword": to slay the bodies of the chitzonim and to raise the vitality out of them. And finally we noted that this sin is not listed among the forbidden relations, and yet it is more severe than they are.
In the next section we will continue with the Alter Rebbe's own words and explain the reason for the exceptional severity of this sin, and why precisely because of this it was not included in the list of forbidden relations.