In the previous section we examined the ways of bittush, the crushing of the nefesh habahamis (the animal soul): taking an honest accounting of the sins of one's youth, and of one's thought, speech and action. Now we continue with another sign the Alter Rebbe brings, from which a person can learn a great deal about where he really stands: the content of his dreams.
Dreams as a mirror of a person's spiritual state:
Every so often a person has a good dream, but the vast majority of his dreams are empty nonsense. Why does he dream about meaningless things? Because his soul is not ascending upward, to the heichalos, the chambers of holiness. Were his soul rising to the heichalos of kedushah, he would be dreaming dreams of holiness. This fact alone ought to bring a person to a serious cheshbon hanefesh: these are my dreams? Then this is my situation? There is no greater bittush for a person than this, for the verse says, "מי יעלה בהר ה' נקי כפים וגו'" ("Who shall ascend the mountain of G-d? He who has clean hands...").
The Alter Rebbe then brings the language of the Zohar: at night those evil forces, the sitra achra, come and attach themselves to a person's soul, and his dreams come from them. The Zohar describes three forms of this:
"ומודעין ליה בחלמא מלין דעלמא" ("and they inform him in his dream of worldly matters"): they tell him things that are going to happen, matters of this world. A person may think he is a prophet, not realizing that what he received was a live broadcast from the sitra achra. And what exactly did they reveal to him? "מלין דעלמא," trivial things. He dreamed that such and such would happen, and indeed it did. There is nothing holy here, nothing of a mitzvah, nothing of meaning.
"ולזמנין דחייכן ביה ואחזיאו ליה מילין שקר" ("and sometimes they laugh at him and show him false things"): sometimes these forces of evil make a joke of him and show him lies. One time they show him something true, another time something false, and it is all the product of those same "sitrin bishin," those evil sides. There is no holiness in it at all.
"וצערין ליה בחלמא" ("and they cause him distress in his dream"): and sometimes they torment him in his dream, and he wakes up in panic and fear.
And all of this is because his soul is not ascending to the heichalos of kedushah, so that by default the ones in charge of his dreams are those evil forces. [The remedy for this is Krias Shema and teshuvah: through saying Krias Shema a person purifies himself.] The Alter Rebbe cites the source in Zohar Parshas Vayikra (page 25a and 25b) and writes "ayein sham ba'arichus," see there at length. The Zohar there goes into detail about nefesh, ruach and neshamah, and which level each of them is caught in. And since the Alter Rebbe is sending the student to look there, it is worth looking. [And although people say that one should not touch the Zohar unless he is fit for it, we have in fact touched passages of Zohar in several places in Tanya itself, and it is the Alter Rebbe who raises the student to the level at which he will be able to study them.]
A note on the precise wording of the verse:
The verse quoted here in abbreviated form, "מי יעלה בהר ה' נקי כפים וגו'," actually reads: "מי יעלה בהר ה' ומי יקום במקום קדשו, נקי כפים ובר לבב" ("Who shall ascend the mountain of G-d, and who shall stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart"). The Alter Rebbe skipped the words "ומי יקום במקום קדשו" and wrote "מי יעלה בהר ה' נקי כפים וגו'." At first glance, the "וגו'" ("etc.") belongs between "מי יעלה בהר ה'" and "נקי כפים." So why the omission without any indication?
The Rebbe, in one of his notes on Tanya, points to the Tosfos in Maseches Shabbos. The Gemara there quotes the verse "ונתן הכסף וקם לו," and Tosfos asks, "אימא פסוקיה," let it quote the verse as it is actually written, since the verse reads "ויסף חמישית כסף ערכך עליו וקם לו." How could the Gemara skip several words and in effect create a new verse? Tosfos answers, "ודרך הש"ס לקצר ולומר בלשון אחר קצר": when the Gemara wants to make a particular point, its way is to bring the verse in abbreviated form, even without indicating that words were skipped. And this is exactly what the Alter Rebbe is doing here. He is not trying to bring the full length of the verse, only the point for which it was brought.
Summing up the advice in the Alter Rebbe's own words:
"והנה כל מה שיאריך בענינים אלו במחשבתו וגם בעיונו בספרים" ("Now, the more one dwells at length on these matters in his thought, and also in his study of seforim"): all the points explained until now in brief, the sins of one's youth, thought, speech and action, and the matter of dreams. A person must dwell on them at length in his mind, and also seek out and study the seforim that discuss them at length, for example the Zohar which elaborates on dreams, and the places where the subject of one's thoughts is explained. The more he studies and contemplates, the more these things will work on him, "להיות לבו נשבר בקרבו ונבזה בעיניו נמאס" ("so that his heart becomes broken within him, and he is despicable in his own eyes, repulsive"), in the words of the verse, repulsive to the ultimate degree.
And whom is he breaking? As has been explained, the nefesh habahamis: "ולמאס חייו ממש" ("and to literally loathe his life"). And when he reaches such a bittush, he "ממאס ומבזה הסטרא אחרא ומשפילה לעפר ומורידה מגדולתה וגסות רוחה וגבהותה" ("despises and degrades the sitra achra, lowers it to the dust, and brings it down from its greatness, its coarseness and its haughtiness"). For who is it that prevents a person caught in timtum halev, a dulled and blocked heart, from being moved and aroused? That very arrogant one, the sitra achra, "שמגביה את עצמה על אור קדושת נפש האלוקית להחשיך אורה" ("which raises itself above the light of the holiness of the divine soul, to darken its light"). Through these thoughts and the bittush they produce, he brings it down from its greatness and its arrogance, and then the light of the nefesh ha'elokis will shine.
That is one approach in hisbonenus: a person contemplates the crushing of himself, the bittush of the "animal" within him.
It is worth emphasizing: this cheshbon hanefesh is undertaken when there is no other choice. His situation right now is one of blockage and timtum halev, and he has two options: either make peace with the fact that his heart is not aroused and remain cold, or begin to crush the "animal" that is getting in his way, in order to reach an awakening of the heart.
[A question: isn't there a danger that a person will fall into depression from such avodah? The answer: someone who is not on the appropriate level does not even know that this needs to be done, and someone who knows it needs to be done is already on a level. He learns Tanya and knows exactly what is being discussed. And there is no room here for atzvus, sadness, for we have learned three long chapters, 26, 27 and 28, in which the Alter Rebbe ruled out sadness from every possible angle. There is no reason in the world for him to come to atzvus. When he approaches the bittush with the tools of those chapters, he makes an accounting of himself and does not fall into sadness. And furthermore: atzvus itself comes from the nefesh habahamis, and right now he is fighting it. How could it manage to drag him down precisely at this moment? He is carrying out a divine mission right now: to crush the "block of wood" and break it, and immediately to bring the broken wood close to the burning flame. And he becomes enthusiastic, and this is avodah in its proper form.]
[Another question: isn't this an endless war of rising and falling, at the end of which a person may find himself back at the very point where he started, and from there comes despair? The answer is that he never returns to the point where he began. On the contrary: everything we have learned in Tanya is that a person is constantly being lifted to a higher level, and then a cleaning at a higher level is demanded of him. But he is not going backwards.]
A parable: a man whose garment has a small stain on it can walk down the street and nobody will say a word to him or have any complaint. But that very same garment, if it were given to the rav of the city or to a talmid chacham, he would not go out in it into the public domain. The Gemara speaks in very sharp terms about a talmid chacham who has a stain on his clothing. And we need not go so far afield: the same man himself, if he hangs that garment in the closet and a year later is appointed rav of the city, can no longer wear the garment he wore last year, because now he is a person on a higher level, and that same stain bothers him. This is not because he has sunk back to his earlier level or returned to the starting point. Just the opposite, it is because he has risen to a higher level. With a garment, one can hang it in the closet and simply not wear it. But here we are speaking of a person's soul, which cannot be taken off and stored in a closet. He has to clean it, and a higher level of cleaning is now demanded of him, not because he has gone back to the beginning of the road, but because he has arrived at a higher rung.
The second approach: noise and anger from the side of the divine soul:
Until now we have been speaking about a bittush in which a person speaks to the nefesh habahamis in its own language. He holds up a picture of its condition before it, "look at yourself, see how you appear," and the entire engagement is with the animal soul alone. Now the Alter Rebbe adds another way of producing bittush in the nefesh habahamis: to strengthen the nefesh ha'elokis, so that the part of him that genuinely cares about this intolerable situation finally raises its voice.
In the language of the Tanya: "וגם ירעים עליה בקול רעש ורוגז להשפילה" ("and he should also thunder against it with a voice of noise and anger, to humble it"). He should shout at the nefesh habahamis. The shouting need not be audible to everyone; it is enough that he himself hears clearly how his divine soul is shouting at his animal soul, in a language it understands. And how do we know to act this way? "כמאמר רז"ל לעולם ירגיז אדם יצר טוב על יצר הרע שנאמר רגזו וגו'" ("as our Sages said: a person should always rouse his good inclination against his evil inclination, as it says, 'tremble...'"). He arouses the yetzer tov and puts tools in its hands so that it can rage against the yetzer hara, "דהיינו לרגוז על נפש הבהמית שהוא יצרו הרע בקול רעש ורוגז במחשבתו" ("that is, to rage against the animal soul, which is his evil inclination, with a voice of noise and anger, in his thought"). And the novelty here: until now he was told, "who are you? You are the animal." Now he is told that he is not only an animal; he also has a divine soul. And after he has gone through the whole process up to this point and has already done a certain amount of bittush, his nefesh ha'elokis exists and is felt by him more strongly, and that is what he will now use. And all of this is "במחשבתו," the shouting takes place in thought.
[Is hisbodedus, seclusion, part of this? One can be in hisbodedus even in the middle of a million people, and if a closed room helps him, all the better. In Hayom Yom the Rebbe suggests that on one's birthday a person should seclude himself and make a cheshbon hanefesh, so such a thing clearly exists and is not far fetched. But there it is spoken of as something done once a year, on one's birthday.]
And what should he say to it in his thought? "אתה רע ורשע ומשוקץ ומתועב ומנוול וכו', ככל השמות שקראו לו חכמינו ז"ל באמת" ("you are evil and wicked and detestable and abominable and disgraceful, and so on, with all the names our Sages called it, truthfully"). There are additional names the Sages gave it which the Alter Rebbe did not bring here. And the word "באמת," truthfully, applies to each one of the names: you are truly evil, and truly wicked, and truly detestable, and truly abominable.
And in what does the evil, the wickedness, the abomination and the disgrace of his yetzer hara actually express itself? On this the Alter Rebbe spells it out: "עד מתי תסתיר לפני אור אין סוף ב"ה ממלא כל עלמין" ("how long will you conceal from me the light of the Ein Sof, blessed be He, which fills all worlds"). A person wants to reveal G-dliness within himself, and after all, the Holy One is "memaleh kol almin," filling all worlds, He is right here and one need not fly off to some other world to find Him. So why is he unable to be moved and aroused? Because there is a disgraceful thing in the way. "שהרי הוא היה הוה ויהיה בשוה גם במקום זה שאני עליו" ("for He was, is and will be equally, even in this very place where I stand"), the Holy One is here at this very moment, "כמו שהיה אור אין סוף ב"ה לבדו קודם שנברא העולם בלי שום שינוי" ("just as the light of the Ein Sof, blessed be He, was alone before the world was created, without any change whatsoever"). Exactly as He was before the creation of the world, so is He present now, in a person's home and in his heart, "כמו שכתוב אני ה' לא שניתי, כי הוא למעלה מהזמן וכו'" ("as it is written, 'I, G-d, have not changed,' for He is above time, etc.").
"ואתה מנוול וכו' מכחיש האמת הנראה לעיניים דכולא קמיה כלא ממש באמת" ("and you, disgraceful one, etc., deny the truth that is visible to the eyes, that before Him all is literally as nothing, in truth"). In terms of actual sight, the truth is that "kula kameih kelo," the entire world is as nothing before the Creator; and the disgraceful yetzer hara sets itself up as a screen and will not let a person see this truth. The person tries to contemplate it, and from its side the yetzer hara argues back at him that he will never manage to feel it.
The goal of the avodah: seeing with one's own eyes
And with this the matter concludes: "והנה על ידי זה יועיל לנפשו האלוקית להאיר עיניה באמת ייחוד אור אין סוף ב"ה בראייה חושית ולא בחינת שמיעה והבנה לבדה" ("and behold, through this he will help his divine soul, to illuminate its eyes with the truth of the unity of the light of the Ein Sof, blessed be He, with actual sight, and not merely with hearing and understanding alone"). This long process, in which the Alter Rebbe has given advice step by step in order to break through timtum halev, will help his divine soul. The fire is trying to burn the "block of wood," but the wood will not catch. When he performs these breakings, the fire will succeed in taking hold in it, and the person will connect to G-dliness as though he sees it with his own eyes. And this is the difference between seeing and hearing: something a person sees with his own eyes is absolute for him, it is so and not otherwise, and nobody can budge him from it; whereas something he has only heard and understood, someone may yet come along and confuse him about it. And as has been explained elsewhere, this is the root of all avodah, that a person should arrive at the certainty of sight. And if there is an animal standing in the way and concealing, it has to be broken into pieces.
Avodah that is real, not mechanical:
[And to the complaint that all this is so planned out and ordered that it becomes mechanical, and that it is difficult: precisely in this there is reason for satisfaction. A person has been given a clear program, step by step, and he is not obligated to take all of it. It is enough that he take one stage, even only the first one, and each person should take for himself whatever speaks to him. To one person the matter of dreams speaks; to another, the sins of his youth; to another, thought, speech and action; and to another, the names "evil, wicked, detestable, disgraceful." The main thing is that he take hold of what he connects to.]
At the same time, one must vary and change it up, because if a person does not vary it, the situation resembles the famous story in the Gemara about Titus. A gnat entered his brain and pecked away at it. When Titus discovered that when a blacksmith struck with his hammer the gnat quieted down, he would go to the blacksmith every day (and the Gemara relates that a Jewish blacksmith would take no payment from him, it was enough for him to see Titus in his suffering, while a non-Jewish blacksmith he would pay). But after a month the gnat grew accustomed even to the hammer blows and was no longer affected by them. So too here: one must vary and change the approach, so that the yetzer hara does not get used to it, and so that the avodah should not be mechanical but real. Indeed this is a matter of avodah, work, and when a person works at it, with G-d's help it will be done in the right way.
In summary: in this section we learned that the content of a person's dreams is a sign of his condition, that his soul is not ascending to the heichalos of kedushah, and that therefore those "sitrin bishin" attach themselves to it, inform him of "milin de'alma," laugh at him and show him falsehoods, and cause him distress in his dreams. This itself should bring him to a cheshbon hanefesh. We looked at the precise wording of the verse "מי יעלה בהר ה'" and at the way of the Talmud to abbreviate, and at the conclusion of the advice: dwelling at length in thought and in the study of seforim, which brings a person's heart to be broken within him and brings the sitra achra to be despised and lowered from its arrogance. We also learned the second approach: the noise and anger of the divine soul against the animal soul, in his thought, calling out "עד מתי תסתיר לפני אור אין סוף ב"ה ממלא כל עלמין," whose purpose is to illuminate the eyes of the divine soul with actual sight and not with hearing and understanding alone. And the main point of it all: that this be avodah that is genuine and varied, and not mechanical.
In the next section we will continue, with G-d's help, with the words of the Alter Rebbe as the sefer goes on.