TheWholeTorah.aiBeta

Psalm 119 - Part 19 - I Cried Out with All My Heart

Psalm 119 - The Letter Kuf

Psalm 119 is the greatest chapter in Tehillim, and all eight verses of each letter revolve around the various designations for the Torah: Torah, chukim (statutes), mitzvot (commandments), edot (testimonies), pikudim (precepts), mishpatim (judgments), devarim (words), and amarot (sayings). In the stanza of the letter Kuf, King David stands in distress, crying out from the midst of the night and begging for salvation - yet his entire plea is directed toward a single purpose: that he merit another day to keep the word of Hashem. Let us go through the verses one by one and see how the Malbim links each verse to a different designation of the Torah.

I Cried Out with All My Heart - Praying for Life to Safeguard the Chukim
קָרָאתִי בְכׇל־לֵב עֲנֵנִי יְהֹוָה חֻקֶּיךָ אֶצֹּרָה׃ (קמה) - "I cried out with all my heart; answer me, Hashem, and I will safeguard Your statutes." (145)

The Radak explains: When I am in distress, I call upon You with all my heart, because I know that You alone are the Savior. Therefore, I plead "Answer me" - that I not perish at the hand of enemies, but that You answer me and deliver me. And what is the purpose? Not to "live it up." I am not asking for life for the sake of pleasure or personal benefit, but rather "I will safeguard Your statutes" - so that by You granting me life, I will merit another day to fulfill Hashem's commandments. I ask for life solely to safeguard Your statutes.

We, too, can recite these words with our lips, but with David, they sprang from the depths of his being. He truly had no interest in another day of life for the sake of pleasure - the entire purpose of having another day was to have another day of serving Hashem. And remember: David is speaking here before the Holy One, blessed be He, before the One to Whom all thoughts and inner motives are laid bare; therefore, these words are unquestionably genuine truth. Master of the Universe, answer me, for my sole aspiration is to keep Your statutes.

The Special Quality of Chukim - Why the Nations Marvel

The Malbim anchors this verse upon the key word chukim (statutes), where a chok is a mitzvah given without an apparent reason. He cites a difficulty raised by earlier commentators on the verse: "...who will hear all these statutes and say, 'Surely this great nation is a wise and discerning people. For what great nation is there that has God so close to it, as Hashem our God is whenever we call upon Him?'" This is seemingly baffling: are the chukim specifically a reason for admiration? On the contrary, Chazal say that the nations of the world taunt Israel - distressing and tormenting them - asking, "What reason is there for this?" What logic is there in the Red Heifer? The chukim are precisely the point where the nations pierce us with their rationalist arguments.

Rather, the Malbim explains in the name of the early commentators, when the nations see that through the special virtue of the chukim, Hashem hears Israel's prayers and answers them whenever they call upon Him - then they will say: There is immense wisdom in these statutes! The explanation is that the statutes of the Torah correspond to the laws of the universe, the laws of nature. The Holy One, blessed be He, says: If you fulfill the statutes of the Torah even without understanding, even without knowing their reasons - correspondingly, the laws of nature will also maintain their order for you, and the heavens will grant their dew. "If you walk in My statutes... then I will grant your rains in their season." The benevolent promises that the earth will preserve its natural order depend upon our observing our statutes.

And this is what David meant: "I cried out with all my heart; answer me, Hashem" - because I safeguard Your statutes, this very fact dictates that You hear my prayer, for such is the unique virtue of the chukim. And I plead: Master of the Universe, my desire is to keep Your statutes; therefore, preserve for me the law of nature whereby the land yields its produce, the tree of the field yields its fruit, and your threshing shall reach the vintage. Answer me, Hashem, hear my prayer, for this is my sole aspiration.

Deliver Me - The Torah's Testimonies Against Free-Willed Beings
קְרָאתִיךָ הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְאֶשְׁמְרָה עֵדֹתֶיךָ׃ (קמו) - "I called upon You; deliver me, and I will keep Your testimonies." (146)

Here, the Malbim explains, the central theme is "edut" (testimony). Here too, I call out to You for salvation against the foe - yet there is a difference. The laws of nature are guaranteed to me through keeping the statutes: the heavens will grant their dew and the rain will fall in its season. But the actions of beings with free choice are not bound by the physical laws of the world. There is no law of nature that compels me to get up today and put on tefillin; the choice is given to man alone. If you decide to put them on, you put them on; if you decide not to, you do not - the gain is entirely yours, and the loss is entirely yours. If you decide to study Torah, you study; if you decide not to, you do not.

Therefore, against those who persecute me, who possess free will and can decide to harm me, I cannot rely on the laws of nature. For this, the "testimony" of the Torah is effective - the narratives in the Torah that testify to Hashem's providence, to reward and punishment, and to the fact that the Holy One, blessed be He, directs His world. The Torah testifies that even beings with free will are in Hashem's hands: when the Holy One, blessed be He, wills it, no one can harm you, just as He spoke with Lavan and warned him not to dare touch Yaakov, whether for good or bad. Therefore: "Save me, that I may keep Your testimonies" - through salvation I will observe Your testimonies, for the Torah itself testifies that You can protect me even from those with free will.

I Rose Early in the Predawn Darkness - Prayer from the Outset of Trouble
קִדַּמְתִּי בַנֶּשֶׁף וָאֲשַׁוֵּעָה לִדְבָרְךָ יִחָלְתִּי׃ (קמז) - I arose early in the predawn darkness and cried out; I hoped for Your word.

The Radak explains: "I anticipated" (kiddamti) is an expression of precedence - while it was still night, I preceded all people, anticipating when people normally wake up. People rise at a certain hour, but I got up earlier and began praying while it was still night. "I hoped for Your word" - for that promise You made me, I yearn that You fulfill it and bring it to fruition. In an additional explanation: "Your word" refers to what is written in the Torah, "For who is like Hashem our God whenever we call upon Him?" - here I am calling out to You while it is still night; fulfill Your word and answer me.

The Malbim focuses the verse on "davar" (words), and explains neshef as an allegory. Distress is always compared to night, and salvation to the light of day; when we speak of the gleaming light of redemption, we speak of Ayelet HaShachar (the morning star) heralding the arrival of light, whereas exile is a time of darkness. This is the meaning of: "I rose early in the darkness" - already at the onset of trouble, at the beginning of the night, I cry out, pray, and anticipate Your salvation. "I hoped for Your word" - for what You promised me through Natan the prophet, that You would save me from the hand of my persecutors; for these words I yearn, and from the very beginning of the darkness.

Incidentally, in biblical Hebrew, neshef means night, and it has nothing to do with what is called in modern Hebrew a "masquerade ball" (neshef masechot). In truth, the word neshef in that sense is hardly recognized today; someone who read Hebrew books from decades ago might know it as an expression for a gala or party, but that is not its meaning in the language of Tanach and Chazal.

My Eyes Preceded the Night Watches - Not Despairing over the Delay of Salvation
קִדְּמוּ עֵינַי אַשְׁמֻרוֹת לָשִׂיחַ בְּאִמְרָתֶךָ׃ (קמח) - My eyes anticipated the night watches, to meditate on Your word.

Rashi notes with precision that ashmorot ("watches") is written in the plural: half of the night is two watches, according to the opinion that the night has four watches - meaning the night is divided into four parts, and David arose already at midnight, after two watches had passed. And according to the one who says the night has three watches, David would rise from his bed already after the first third of the night, when two watches still remained, and occupy himself with Torah until midnight - which is "to meditate on Your word." And from midnight onward, Chazal say, he would occupy himself with songs and praises, as it is written: "At midnight I arise to give thanks to You."

The Radak adds an interesting definition: an ashmurah is the awakening time in the night, the hour of rising, and there are three watches in the night. King David says: My eyes awaken early, before anyone else wakes; I slept only the first part of the night, and I rise early to meditate and contemplate God's utterances and His ways, especially during the long nights. Therefore, a watchman is called a shomer - as in "Watchman, what of the night?" - because he stays awake throughout the night. There is another reason for the name shomer: from the language of anticipation and waiting, as in "those who watch for the morning," waiting for the light of dawn.

The Malbim focuses the verse on "imrah" (utterance): on that night, my eyes anticipated the beginning of the watches to meditate on Your word. That is, even if You delay salvation, even for the brief duration of a single watch in the night, I do not despair - I rise a second time to speak again of the promise: Master of the Universe, You said You would save me; why has salvation not yet arrived? Why am I still in distress? Even for a slight delay, I rise once again and hurry to plead.

According to Your Kindness and According to Your Justice - Why Kindness Comes First
קוֹלִי שִׁמְעָה כְחַסְדֶּךָ יְהֹוָה כְּמִשְׁפָּטֶךָ חַיֵּנִי׃ (קמט) - Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness; Hashem, grant me life according to Your judgment. (149)

The simple meaning of the verse: "Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness" - just as You have bestowed kindness upon me many times; "grant me life according to Your judgment" - as we saw earlier, "as is the custom toward those who love Your Name," meaning according to Your benevolent ways in which You deal with those close to You, with the righteous and the pious. "Judgment" (mishpat) here, as we have already explained, refers to Your ways of conduct. Thus: just as You conduct Yourself with the righteous and the pious, so deal with me as well, and grant me life.

The Malbim bases the verse on the word "mishpatim" (judgments), explaining that David is pleading in two ways: one is "according to Your kindness," from the perspective of pure lovingkindness; and the other is "grant me life according to Your judgment," from the perspective of justice and law. In other words: if I deserve it based on merits and justice, grant it to me through strict law; and if I do not deserve it, Master of the Universe, grant it to me out of kindness - act with lovingkindness toward me even though I am unworthy.

And King David specifically mentions kindness first, because this is the way of the righteous - to ask for an unearned gift. They do not come to demand by force and say, "I am entitled to this." On the contrary, we have already seen that when a righteous person asks with a claim of "I deserve it," this arouses strict judgment against him from Heaven, as we saw with Nechemiah: "Remember this for me, my God," "Remember it for my good." It is not fitting for a righteous person to petition by virtue of his good deeds, but rather to rely always on Hashem's lovingkindness.

Logically, one might have expected the opposite. Human nature is such that a person first tries to pay, and only when he sees that his wallet is empty does he ask for a favor. Consider the familiar story of the father who sent his son to borrow a hammer from the neighbor. The boy went and said, "Dad asked if we could borrow a hammer." The neighbor said, "No, I don't lend tools." The boy returned and told his father, who said, "What a miser! Fine, go get our own hammer." In other words, a person does not go asking from others when he has his own. If so, how can one approach God by asking for kindness first, and only then suggest that perhaps it is also deserved by right of law? The answer is that with the Holy One, blessed is He, the order is reversed: He is absolute kindness and His desire is to bestow good, and His lovingkindness knows no bounds. Therefore, we always prefer to ask on the basis of kindness, and save whatever merits are due to us for the World to Come, which is entirely good.

"The Pursuers of Depravity Draw Near" - What Unites the Wicked
קָרְבוּ רֹדְפֵי זִמָּה מִתּוֹרָתְךָ רָחָקוּ׃ (קנ) - They draw near, those who pursue depravity; they are far from Your Torah. (150)

Rashi explains: these are wicked conspirators who follow the counsel of their sins and distance themselves from Your Torah in order to draw near to their evil schemes. Similarly, Radak explains: they are so close and attached to depravity that they pursue it, and they are far from Your Torah - and these two things are opposites. Were they close to the Torah, they would not be pursuers of depravity, and from the fact that they pursue depravity, it is evident that they are far from the Torah.

And what is "zimah" (depravity)? Radak cites "they have committed depravity" in Hoshea, and likewise in the language of Vayikra - an abomination and an evil deed. Generally, the term denotes sexual immorality, but not exclusively; zimah refers to any evil act. There is another explanation, which the Malbim offers in several places: that zimah comes from the root of mezimah (a plot or scheme) - a person who schemes evil, having wicked intentions in his heart. According to this, "pursuers of zimah" are those who chase after the evil schemes in their hearts.

The Malbim links the verse to the theme of "Torah," revealing a profound principle here. The wicked, by their very nature, are not unified - "He who separates himself seeks his desire." When people follow their desires, it is impossible for them to be truly united, for one person's lust is not another's; each has his own, and in matters of selfish craving there is no real unity. "The soul of the wicked desires evil; his fellow finds no favor in his eyes" - each lusts after a different evil, and consequently finds no favor with his peer, causing them to drift apart. What, then, unites them after all? "They are far from Your Torah." Their distance from the Torah is the common thread that connects them.

And this is evident to this day: some are on the right and some on the left, each with his own agenda - yet when it comes to matters of Torah, suddenly they all unite against those who observe the mitzvos. The same is true among our enemies: adversaries who fight each other, yet when it comes to Israel, there is suddenly complete consensus and unity, and the same slogans are heard from all of them like a coordinated choir. Hatred of Mordechai unites all those who were previously divided.

A Heart Vacant of Wisdom

In the book Yosef Tehillot, the Chida explains this verse in a wonderful way. Chazal state: "I created the evil inclination, and I created the Torah as its antidote." The Rambam writes that a person should always direct his thoughts toward words of Torah, for thoughts of illicit relations overpower only a heart that is vacant of wisdom. Where do immoral thoughts enter? "And the pit was empty, there was no water in it" - consequently, snakes and scorpions were in it. But when a person's heart is filled with wisdom, thoughts of immorality stay far away from him.

It has already been mentioned several times that it is an act of Hashem's kindness toward us that two thoughts cannot operate within a person at the exact same time. A person cannot solve a math problem right now and in the very same moment answer someone's question; if he is engaged in one, he is not engaged in the other. There are rare exceptions, such as Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzinski and the like, but ordinary people are incapable of two actions at once. This is a tremendous kindness, for forcibly expelling an evil thought from the heart is exceedingly difficult: a person who tries hard not to think about white horses will have white horses galloping through his head all day, precisely because of the effort. Therefore, our task is not "not to think," but rather to think about something else. The moment a person is engrossed in something else, there is no room for the bad thought to enter.

Perhaps there is also a precise nuance in the Rambam's wording: he did not write "a heart vacant of Torah," but rather "a heart vacant of wisdom." Perhaps he was hinting that any discipline of wisdom a person engages in and exerts his mind over distracts him from matters of lust. This can even be observed among the nations of the world: intellectuals deeply immersed in their research are generally not people of debauchery and promiscuity - immersion in one subject diverts the mind from other pursuits.

This is what is meant by: "The pursuers of depravity draw near" - why did they draw near to depravity and corruption? Because "they are far from Your Torah." Had they been occupied with Torah, thoughts of immorality would have departed from them. Beyond the fact that occupying oneself with one thing distracts from another, the Torah possesses a unique virtue and holiness: it refines the soul and has the special capacity to distance a person from evil and impurity.

Harlots Adorn One Another

The Chida brings an additional explanation, describing it as "a witty approach" (derech halatzi). Chazal state: If harlots adorn one another, how much more so should Torah scholars! These words were said as a critique of Torah scholars who sometimes fail to appreciate and support one another: learn a kal vachomer (an a fortiori inference) from harlots, where each beautifies and applies makeup to her peer even though she is her competitor. Accordingly, this is hinted at here: "The pursuers of depravity draw near" - they bond, encourage, and draw close to one another; whereas "they are far from Your Torah" - due to our sins, those engaged in Your Torah, instead of drawing close to one another and being in a state of adorning each other, distance themselves even further, and Torah study sometimes leads them to estrangement, jealousy, and dispute. Why not learn a kal vachomer and draw close to your fellow?

You Are Near, Hashem - Divine Providence and the Truth of the Mitzvot
קָרוֹב אַתָּה יְהֹוָה וְכׇל־מִצְוֺתֶיךָ אֱמֶת׃ (קנא) - You are near, Hashem, and all Your commandments are truth. (151)

After having said "they are far from Your Torah," how can he say "You are near, Hashem"? Rashi explains: You are near even to these distant people if they repent of their ways - Hashem is near to all who call upon Him in truth. The Radak also addresses this tension and explains: You are near to all who call upon You, but they are far from You and from Your Torah; all Your mitzvot are truth, yet they do not know Your mitzvot because they believe they are not true. They do not feel Your closeness, they do not seek it, and they always harbor questions and objections - and that is what distances them.

The Malbim interprets the verse as focusing on "mitzvot." The wicked claim that Hashem is far removed from this world. As previously explained, they ostensibly seek to exalt the Holy One, blessed be He, claiming that we diminish Him: Does the Holy One, blessed be He, really care about your itchy back, or that you have no money for lunch? Hashem is lofty and exalted, and He does not occupy Himself with such trivialities. It would be like a king or a prime minister tending to the petty details of every citizen - people would ask him, "Don't you have civil servants?" In truth, however, they did not exalt Hashem out of a genuine desire to glorify Him, but rather to cast off individual Divine Providence (hashgachah pratit) and make themselves free to do whatever they please. It is very convenient to banish the Holy One, blessed be He, to the celestial realms, for then the world is left wide open to do as one wishes.

This is the fundamental difference between the Jewish outlook and the secular or gentile worldview: "Hashem is high above all nations" - to the nations He is "high" (ram); whereas we say, "Great (gadol) is Hashem and exceedingly praised." "High" denotes something situated far above: a hot-air balloon is high, an airplane is high, the clouds are high. But "great" extends from the very bottom to the very top. Although the Holy One, blessed be He, reaches to the highest heights, He begins from below - He sees, oversees, and directs everything that transpires down below as well, and all remains under Hashem's watchful eye and guidance.

And since the wicked believe that Hashem is distant from the world and does not supervise it, they do not accept that there is any reality where Hashem would command man mitzvot: what does He have to do with us lowly creatures? Therefore, they deny the Torah's divine origin. But because You are close to the world - "and all Your mitzvot are truth," You are the Commander, everything is truth, and there is nothing here that does not come from Him, blessed be He.

The Infinite - To Him There Is No Small or Great

In truth, it is precisely the secular conception that diminishes the Master of the World. For what is the analogy we always give? What is the distance from here to infinity? Infinite. And if I step back a kilometer, what will the distance be from there? Also infinite. There is no such thing as "infinity plus a kilometer." Add a million kilometers or subtract a billion - the distance to infinity remains constant. And if the Holy One, blessed be He, is infinite, one cannot say relative to infinity, "this is small and this is large"; everything is dwarfed beside it. One can only say such things of someone who has an end and a measure: if his height is one hundred thousand kilometers, then fifty thousand is small and ninety thousand is large - because you gave him a measure. But for One Who has no measure at all, everything is equal before Him.

It turns out that they themselves diminished the Master of the World, because they ascribed a measure to Him. Therefore, just as you understand that the Holy One, blessed be He, is concerned with galaxies, understand that He is also concerned with your little toe squeezed inside your shoe and hurting you - Hashem watches over even that.

"And All Your Mitzvot Are Truth" - One Mitzvah That Encompasses Everything

The Chida in Yosef Tehilot explains the verse based on the words of Chazal: Habakkuk came and established them upon one principle, as it is stated, "And the righteous shall live by his faith." Habakkuk founded the bedrock for all mitzvot and all faith in Hashem upon a single principle. And he explains this based on what is brought in Sefer Chasidim, and likewise in Ayumah KaNidgalot: A certain wicked man went to a great sage to repent, and asked that they not be too stringent with him. He said to him, "Give me one thing I can keep, and not something impossible - no fasts, penances, self-afflictions, or rolling in the snow." That great sage said to him, "I will tell you only one thing, and if you keep it, with Hashem's help you will see a great salvation and find a way out of the state you are in: resolve always to speak only the truth. Whatever they do to you and whatever they say to you, always speak only the truth." And he accepted it upon himself.

One night his evil inclination overcame him as usual, and he set out to steal from his neighbor's house. Suddenly, he stopped himself: If they ask me where I am going, what will I say? If a policeman stops me and asks where I am going, I cannot say I went out to buy cigarettes; I will have to say, "I am going right now to steal." And later too, when they ask where I was, I will not be able to say I was asleep at night; I will have to say, "Yesterday I stole." That is, for whatever I am about to do, I will be forced to give truthful answers. He decided to stay home. And so it was with all matters: whenever he was about to commit a sin, he immediately realized that he must speak truth, and if asked he would have to confess - and this prevented him from every sin, until he returned in full repentance, studied Torah, and observed the mitzvot.

And this is the meaning of "Habakkuk came and established them upon one": do you want one thing that will keep you from all sins? "And the righteous shall live by his faith" - faith (emunah) is an expression of truth (emet). A righteous person who resolves to speak only the truth will thereby arrive at the fulfillment of all mitzvot and refrain from all sins. And this is what the verse means: "You are near, Hashem, and all Your mitzvot are truth" - you want to draw close to Hashem, blessed be He, to do teshuvah, and to know what single mitzvah to take upon yourself that encompasses everything? Resolve to speak only the truth, and through this you will be close to all of Hashem's mitzvot.

"Of Old I Have Known" - The Mitzvot Teach About the Future
קֶדֶם יָדַעְתִּי מֵעֵדֹתֶיךָ כִּי לְעוֹלָם יְסַדְתָּם׃ (קנב) - Of old I have known from Your testimonies that You have founded them forever.

"Of old I have known" - even before the event occurred, I knew it from Your testimonies. And what is that? Before they inherited the Land, You had already commanded them concerning bikkurim (first fruits) and terumot and ma'asrot (tithes); and before You granted them rest from their enemies, You had already commanded, "And it shall be when Hashem your God gives you rest" - to appoint a king, to wipe out Amalek, and to build the Beit HaBechirah (the Temple). "That You have founded them forever" - for You have established Your testimonies upon all the things destined to occur until the end of the world.

Thus, from the commandments themselves, we know what is destined to occur. Even before the inheritance of the Land, I know that we will inherit the Land, since the mitzvot of terumot and ma'asrot apply only in the Land. I know that the Beit HaBechirah will be built, for we were commanded to appoint a king and to build the Beit HaBechirah. All the mitzvot are based on the fact that You know in advance what is destined to be, and already from of old You commanded the mitzvot - and from them I learn about the future.

The Radak offers another explanation: "Long ago" (kedem) - from the beginning; that is, already at the beginning of my studies, I knew from Your testimonies that You founded them forever, that You made them the foundation and sustenance of the world. And when a person delves deeply into them, he will emerge to exalted matters and see that they are a ladder to ascend to the wisdom of the Divine, which is the most exalted of all - "and I, at the very beginning of my contemplation, saw in them this exalted virtue." Already at the very start of his Torah study, David saw where engaging in Torah can lead, and that it is the foundation, sustenance, and rectification of the world.

Furthermore, the Radak explains regarding "You founded them forever": the mitzvos have no set expiration date. The Christians claimed that the mitzvos were given for a limited time, and once that period passed, there was no longer any need to observe them. To this, David says: I see that Hashem's mitzvos are founded on justice and uprightness, and therefore they have no time limit - for justice is eternal. Justice does not change, and truth does not change; one cannot say that today truth is one thing and in the past truth was something else. Truth is eternal and enduring.

And therefore, the seal of the Holy One, Blessed is He, is truth. Anything else can be forged: if His seal were humility, one could manufacture false humility. But "counterfeit truth" is not truth at all - this is a seal that cannot be forged. And this is what King David is saying: Hashem's mitzvos are the essence of truth, and for this reason "You founded them forever" - they never change and they possess eternal existence. This connects to what he said in the previous verse, "and all Your commandments are truth": because all of Hashem's commandments are truth, it follows that "Long ago I knew from Your testimonies" - the mitzvos that I have known from of old are eternal mitzvos that will never be abolished.

In summary: In the eight verses of the letter Kuf, King David cries out from within distress, and in each verse he relies upon a different term for the Torah: "I will guard Your statutes" - just as I observe Your statutes without requiring a reason, so too may the laws of nature preserve their pattern for me; "that I may keep Your testimonies" - the testimony of the Torah teaches that even creatures possessing free will are in His hand; "I rise early at twilight" - already at the onset of trouble he cries out, and "my eyes anticipate the night watches" - even when salvation tarries, he does not despair, rising again to plead; "according to Your lovingkindness... according to Your judgment" - and the righteous person always places the plea for lovingkindness ahead of claiming merit; "the pursuers of depravity draw near" - distance from the Torah is what unites the wicked, while a heart filled with Torah and wisdom is the shield against evil thoughts; "You are near, Hashem" - counter to the heretics who distance Divine Providence, we believe that the Infinite watches over all and that all His commandments are truth, and acceptance of the attribute of truth alone suffices to bring a person to fulfill all the mitzvos; and finally, "Long ago I knew from Your testimonies" - the mitzvos reveal the future to us, and they are the foundation of the world and an eternal truth with no expiration date.
A lesson inspired by the shiurim of Rav Boaz Shalom