Introduction: A Psalm of Exile and Persecution
Psalm 69 is one of the most difficult and painful psalms in the book. It is written in the singular, yet the Radak teaches that it is formulated in the voice of the exile: the psalmist speaks on behalf of the exiles as the entirety of Klal Yisrael, or on behalf of each individual exile who weeps and grieves over his exile, which is why singular phrasing was used. The Alshich HaKadosh also cites Chazal as explaining the psalm in reference to the exiles, and he elaborates throughout the psalm on how each stage depicts one of the four exiles endured by Israel. The Malbim likewise cites the interpretation regarding the exile, adding another explanation: some say the psalm refers back to the period when David was fleeing from Avshalom. Indeed, the harrowing verses we will read, which express hardship, struggle, and suffering, fit that period very well as well.
לַמְנַצֵּחַ עַל שׁוֹשַׁנִּים לְדָוִד׃ - For the conductor, upon Shoshannim, of David.
What Are the "Shoshannim"?
Rashi explains that this refers to Israel, who are like a rose among thorns, pierced by the thorns. "For the conductor, upon Shoshannim" is thus a song about Israel suffering from the thorns, which represent the nations - and as we shall see, the psalm indeed speaks of the era of exile. Metzudat Tzion interprets it differently: Shoshannim was the name of a musical instrument, like the Gittit and other instruments mentioned in Tehillim, and this instrument was crafted in the shape of a rose. "For the conductor, upon Shoshannim" means a song played upon that instrument.
The Alshich HaKadosh adds another layer of depth regarding the roses. A rose possesses two virtues: beauty and fragrance. In terms of beauty, the rose is red, and Chazal highlight its redness, as they expounded on "hedged with roses" - that a woman erects a hedge for her husband, telling him, "I have seen something like a red rose," meaning she has become ritually impure, and they must separate during her niddah state. Thus, an ordinary rose is red. The second virtue is its sweet scent. These two qualities are an allegory for exile: red symbolizes judgment - redness always indicates strict judgment, which is the visible exterior; while fragrance is good, as in "and his scent shall be in the fear of Hashem," a sweet, refined aroma. This is precisely the nature of exile: on the one hand, it represents judgments and punishment, with Israel suffering and afflicted in their exile; on the other hand, it is a process of purification, through which their fragrance rises favorably before Hashem. Thus, there is both judgment - the redness, the harsh exile - and loving-kindness and mercy, for through the exile and the rectification and purification we undergo, the Holy One, blessed be He, cleanses our sins, and it ascends as a sweet savor before Him.
הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי אֱלֹהִים כִּי בָאוּ מַיִם עַד נָפֶשׁ׃ - Save me, O God, for the waters have reached up to my soul.
Waters Up to the Soul - Unbearable Suffering
"The waters have reached up to my soul" - the water has risen to the point where life itself is threatened, like a person wading into water that reaches his mouth and nostrils, choking off his breath. This is a metaphor for the tribulations of exile at the hands of the nations: the troubles have reached our necks, as if to say, Master of the Universe, we no longer have the strength to endure, and the danger is exceedingly grave.
Tehillot Maharith explains that King David came before the Holy One, blessed be He, saying: Master of the Universe, I am willing to accept suffering, and I even deserve suffering - for the episode of Batsheva and other matters for which David accepted tribulations upon himself, even becoming afflicted with tzara'at as Chazal state. But let it be physical suffering, affliction of the body, rather than affliction of the soul. Chazal ask: What are afflictions of love? Those that do not entail the neglect of Torah study and prayer. This was David's plea: Master of the Universe, even if I suffer, let there be no neglect of Torah or prayer. This is hinted at in the verse: "Save me, O God" - at this level of suffering, I raise my hands and say enough. And why, given that you are willing to accept tribulations? Because "the waters have reached up to my soul" - it now touches the soul, not merely the body. In physical matters, I am prepared to endure suffering, but when it harms spiritual life, no; therefore, save me.
We find something similar in David's plea elsewhere: "They have driven me out today from attaching myself to Hashem's inheritance, saying: Go, serve other gods." It was not the persecution that tormented him, nor the fact that at every moment he stood on the brink of death, but rather that he was prevented from remaining in the Holy Land, of which it is said, "A land that the eyes of Hashem your God are always upon it," whereas regarding someone who lives outside the Land, Chazal said he is like one who has no God. The damage to his spiritual standing is what truly tormented him.
The Hierarchy of Values: Relinquishing the Material, Not the Spiritual
We have seen this hierarchy of values in many places: being willing to absorb damage in material matters, but never in spiritual matters. Spiritual harm is difficult to repair and demands tremendous rehabilitation, whereas the physical body is transient in any case. We see this with Yaakov Avinu: he bows to Eisav, honors him, and accommodates him in every way; but when Eisav suggests, "Let us journey on and go, and I will go alongside you" - this is where he draws the line. "The children are tender." I respect you, bow to you, and kiss you, but when it comes to the children - absolutely not. In other words: I am willing to absorb personal humiliation and even lower myself before you, but when it touches spirituality - no.
This principle found expression even earlier. Yaakov commands his messengers: If Eisav asks you, "To whom do you belong, and where are you going, and whose are these ahead of you?" - tell him, "To your servant, to Yaakov," and the gift is sent to Eisav. Why? So that Eisav would not think he was also being given a gift of servants. Over a servant, Yaakov carries spiritual responsibility, for a servant is obligated in mitzvos like a woman, and it is forbidden to surrender a servant to a gentile. The Gemara teaches that one who sells his servant to a gentile - that servant goes free, because the owner removes him from the observance of Torah and mitzvos. Yaakov says: I am willing to give Eisav a lavish gift - sheep, flocks, and cattle - but servants, no.
So too regarding the livestock, we find the expression "from what came into his hand" (min haba beyado). What does "from what came into his hand" mean? Sefer Chassidim cites that the righteous had a way of passing a hand over the head of an animal: an animal that drew its head backward showed it was rebellious, and it would be found treifah upon slaughter; while an animal that lowered its head downward - "a broken and contrite heart, God, You will not despise" - was kosher. Yaakov passed his hand over the heads of the animals, and those he discerned were kosher he kept for himself, sending the rest to Eisav. We see that Yaakov was unwilling to compromise on spirituality: not on the sanctity of his children, not on his servants, and not even to part with animals fit for holiness.
We find the same with Avraham Avinu. Eliezer his servant was the "elder of his household, who ruled over all that he had" - the treasuries were in his hands, he had power of attorney, and everything rested on him. Yet when it came time to send him to find a wife for Yitzchak, suddenly Avraham does not simply rely on him; rather, he administers an oath, and only then relies on him. What changed? In material matters I trust you, but spirituality is far too precious, and in that I cannot simply rely. That is the fundamental rule. Yet with us, matters are often reversed: in spiritual affairs we settle for "they said" - someone told me he heard it was kosher, they said one can eat there. In financial matters, however, a person investigates thoroughly: based merely on "they said," you would never put your money anywhere. Who said? What is the guarantee? In physical affairs we ensure everything is perfectly in order, while in spiritual affairs we are casual and lenient.
טָבַעְתִּי בִּיוֵן מְצוּלָה וְאֵין מׇעֳמָד בָּאתִי בְמַעֲמַקֵּי מַיִם וְשִׁבֹּלֶת שְׁטָפָתְנִי׃ - I have sunk in the mire of the deep, and there is no footing; I have entered into deep waters, and the current sweeps me away.
Trouble Within Trouble
"Yeven metzulah" is like tit hayaven - mud, the mire of the deep. "Shiboles" refers to the rushing, swirling waters of a river. Radak explains: David is describing being caught in trouble within trouble. Both "I have sunk in the mire of the deep" and "I have entered into deep waters." A depth (metzulah) refers to deep waters in which a person drowns; and in mire, a person sinks even if the place is not deep, for the mud pulls down and drowns. Here, both elements converged: both mud and great depth. "Ve'ein ma'amad" - not one of my limbs can stand upright; no limb is capable of standing, for all are submerged. "Veshiboles shetefasni" - the rushing torrent of water, as if to say: I have entered deep waters within a rushing current that sweeps me away. All of this, Radak notes, is an allusion to the intense tribulations in which Dovid HaMelech was engulfed.
The Malbim likewise identifies three distinct troubles here. The first is the mud, "yeven metzulah" - sticky mire from which it is difficult to pull out one's feet. "Ve'ein ma'amad" - the mud is deep with no solid ground beneath it. Sometimes there is mud, but one eventually reaches stable ground upon which to plant one's feet; here, the feet sink deeper and deeper, with no footing whatsoever. A swamp is notoriously dangerous precisely for this reason, as a person is pulled inward and continually sinks. The second is "ba'asi vema'amakei mayim" - deep waters. The third is "veshiboles shetefasni" - rushing currents. And the deeper meaning: Jerusalem had become degraded and fouled by the rebellion of Avshalom, turning the place into a virtual swamp, with many enemies and immense danger. There was also a rushing torrent pursuing me - surging waters rushing to overtake me. Alternatively, it means the current swept me right out of Eretz Yisrael, forcing me to flee, as though a wave came and washed me outward - a murky, muddy wave. And over all these - Master of the Universe, save me!
יָגַעְתִּי בְקׇרְאִי נִחַר גְּרוֹנִי כָּלוּ עֵינַי מְיַחֵל לֵאלֹהָי׃ - I am weary from my calling, my throat is parched; my eyes fail while waiting for my God.
The Weakened Cry and the Prolonged Waiting
"Nichar" means my throat has dried out, as in the expression "charvonei chorev" (the parching heat of drought), denoting extreme dryness. "Kalu einai" - Rashi explains that any prolonged longing is termed kilyon einayim (failing of the eyes), and we use this idiom as well: waiting with yearning eyes, as though one's eyes have worn out from prolonged waiting. So too: "yearning for them all day long" (Devarim 28:32), "causing the eyes to fail and the soul to pine" (Vayikra 26:16), "and the eyes of the wicked shall fail" (Iyov 11:20) - every mention of kilyon einayim indicates protracted, agonizing anticipation.
Radak explains: What does a person do when he begins to sink in a swamp? He cries out, "Help!" David says: I have grown exhausted from my cries for help until my throat became parched - related to charerim, as in "dwells in parched places in the wilderness" (Yirmeyahu 17:6); that is, the throat dried up from so much shouting. Furthermore, a drowning person lifts his eyes upward, longing for someone to come and rescue him. David says: I wait for God to come and deliver me, and my eyes have grown weary from gazing upward. And the allegorical meaning: the exile is already so long and seems endless. How long will I gaze upward and hope, and still Mashiach has not yet arrived?
The Malbim adds that there is a two-fold appeal here: as he is drowning, he calls out to people to help him until his throat is hoarse, while also looking to Heaven for salvation. There is no contradiction in this, for a person is required to act through natural means, and the natural course is to turn to other human beings. This is like the story of the man who fell from a ship into the sea and began to drown. Boats came to rescue him and told him to climb aboard, but he replied, "No, I trust in Hashem; only Hashem will save me." In the end he drowned, and when he ascended to Heaven he pleaded, "Master of the Universe, I relied upon You! Why did You not save me?" The Holy One, blessed be He, replied, "And what about all the ships and boats I sent you?" Salvation indeed comes from Hashem, but it arrives through natural means, and therefore a person must take natural actions - unless one is on a spiritual level like that of Yosef, regarding whom the claim was the opposite: why did you pursue natural means, when at your spiritual stature this was not required? At lower levels, however, a person must act through the ways of nature. Thus Dovid Hamelech does both: he calls out to people to save him, while also turning and praying to Hashem, knowing that salvation does not truly come from man, but rather that the Holy One, blessed be He, sends His good messengers.
The Me'am Lo'ez illustrates this with a parable. A person entered a house and heard a baby crying because his mother had left him, longing for her return. How can one tell whether the mother left four hours ago or fifteen minutes ago? By the intensity of the crying. When the mother has just left, the cries are loud and piercing; but after some time the voice weakens, the baby already realizes that his mother is not there, and out of sheer momentum he still makes sounds, but it is no longer the initial shriek. So says the Me'am Lo'ez: by the weariness of the crying, one can discern that the mother left long ago. "I am weary from my crying, my throat is parched" - the voice is already exhausted, the throat is dry, which is a sign that the crying has gone on for a very long time. And therefore, "my eyes fail while waiting for my God" - our days have stretched out long in anticipation.
רַבּוּ מִשַּׂעֲרוֹת רֹאשִׁי שֹׂנְאַי חִנָּם עָצְמוּ מַצְמִיתַי אֹיְבַי שֶׁקֶר אֲשֶׁר לֹא גָזַלְתִּי אָז אָשִׁיב׃ - More numerous than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause; mighty are those who would destroy me, my deceitful enemies; what I did not steal, I must then restore.
Many and Mighty Enemies
Those who hate me without cause are more numerous than the hairs on my head. What is the difference between "rabbuh" (numerous) and "atzmu" (mighty)? The Radak explains: "rabbuh" refers to quantity, whereas "atzmu" refers to power and strength. A person might have many persecutors, but they may be weak and powerless; here, however, they are both numerous and powerful. "My deceitful enemies" - they hate me gratuitously, with no justification, and their hostility toward me is based on falsehood. Not only that, but they bring false allegations against me: "What I did not steal, I must then restore" - they come and accuse me of theft, and I am forced to make restitution as if I had stolen, as they take my money through baseless claims.
The Days of Persecution in the House of Yishai
Our Sages expound this verse as referring to the period when Dovid was banished from his father's house. It is a well-known episode, which was discussed at length in the lessons for Shavuot, that Dovid was suspected of being of illegitimate birth (a mamzer). Yishai wished to purify his lineage, fearing that because he descended from Ruth the Moabitess, his seed was unfit - this occurred before the exposition "an Ammonite male, but not an Ammonite female; a Moabite male, but not a Moabite female" had become widely known, or at least before it had received authoritative validation. Therefore, he intended to cohabit with his maidservant and then free her once she conceived, so that she would give birth as a free woman and the child would be of legitimate lineage. However, his wife, Nitzevet bat Adael, heard of this from the maidservant, who revealed the matter to her. Nitzevet took her place and conceived by him. Later, when Yishai saw that his wife was pregnant - having stayed away from her so as not to father children of questionable status - he suspected that the child to be born, Dovid, was a mamzer. He therefore sent him away to shepherd the sheep. From this we also understand what transpired when Shmuel asked, "Are these all the boys?", and Yishai replied that they were all, only later recalling that a young one remained with the sheep, being certain that Shmuel could not possibly mean him. The Sages said: Yishai thought, "Shmuel has come only to expose my disgrace, showing that there is a mamzer in my house."
And why did he send him out to the flock? Because for a mamzer there is no remedy until he dies; as long as he lives, he remains a standing reminder of a grievous sin. Yishai was the leader of the generation, greeted by vast multitudes wherever he went, escorted by thousands. When everyone saw that he distanced Dovid from his household, they concluded, "He surely knows that Dovid comes from an evil root, and there is certainly a flaw in him." Consequently, everyone persecuted him. This is what Dovid means by saying that his haters have multiplied, "those who would destroy me, my deceitful enemies." And "what I did not steal, I must then restore" - whenever anything went missing, they would say, "Surely Dovid stole it!" And what I had never stolen, I was forced to repay.
Rashi explains "my deceitful enemies": they hate me based on a lie, yet I do not pursue their falsehood to catch their mistake and demonstrate to them that they are wrong. That is to say, they fabricate false accusations against me, but I do not treat them as they treat me. And what is the result? "What I did not steal, I must then restore" - when they gather against me to afflict me, I appease them with money, like one who returns what he never stole. I could have come, argued, and proven that I had not stolen anything, but I do not chase after their lies to disprove the baseless charges against me; rather, when they come and demand payment, I simply pay.
The Malbim explains that just as the afflictions consisted of three elements - the mire, the depths of the water, and the current - so too the persecutors fell into three categories. The first: those who hate me because they claim that Dovid is a sinner of evil deeds, seizing every opportunity to heap accusations of sin and iniquity upon him. Regarding this he says, "More numerous than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause." This clearly explains why the episode of Bat Sheva caused Dovid Hamelech such immense anguish: it seemingly placed a sword in the hands of all his detractors to say, "We told you Dovid is a sinner; we told you he is wicked! Look, now his disgrace has been exposed and made public!" It appeared to validate all the suspicions that until then had been falsehoods against him. Yet Dovid says: they hate me without cause, for in truth I did not sin. The second category: enemies who seek his harm because they suspected him of having harmed them. Regarding this he said, "Mighty are those who would destroy me, my deceitful enemies" - those who come to destroy me and do me harm allegedly for what I did to them, which is a falsehood, for I did them no wrong. And the third category: those who came to rob my property, concerning whom he said, "What I did not steal, I must then restore." Thus, they attacked him on three fronts: his soul - as though he were a sinner; his body - as though he had harmed them; and his property - as though he had stolen their wealth and his belongings were not his own. Therefore, he beseeches Hashem to save him from these three matters and from these enemies.
אֱלֹהִים אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ לְאִוַּלְתִּי וְאַשְׁמוֹתַי מִמְּךָ לֹא נִכְחָדוּ׃ - God, You know my foolishness, and my guilt is not hidden from You.
You Know the Truth
"My foolishness" - those matters in which I was foolish, related to the word evil (fool), where I acted with foolishness, for a person does not sin unless a spirit of folly enters him. "And my guilt" - what is considered guilty on my part through inadvertent error (b'shegagah), this too is not hidden from You. If so, You know that everything they accuse me of is baseless, and that everything they falsely pin on me has no truth to it - because You, God, know my foolishness and my guilt, and You know that none of this is true.
The Malbim explains that here David's prayer begins. "Foolishness" (ivvelet) - as the Malbim explains in several places, particularly in the Book of Mishlei - is related to the word ulai ("perhaps"), an expression of doubt. The fool (evil) possesses a skeptical mindset: about everything he raises a "perhaps" - who says? Who proved it? Who ever returned from there? How can one know? He casts doubt on everything. And this is "You know my foolishness": the doubts and the "perhaps" that I harbor regarding intellectual inquiry and philosophical concepts, those doubts that undermine a person's faith (emunah) and trust (bitachon) in Hashem - this You know. "And my guilt is not hidden from You" - not only doubts in faith, but also the sins I actually committed in practice. That is, not only intellectual shortcomings but also practical transgressions, everything I did in action - all is open and revealed before You.
In summary: Chapter 69 opens with "For the conductor, upon the roses (shoshannim)" - Israel is like a rose among thorns, and within the rose itself are concealed both the redness, which represents strict judgment (Din), and the sweet fragrance, which represents the spiritual refinement that rises favorably before Hashem. David cries out, "Save me, God, for the waters have reached the soul," teaching us that he was prepared to endure bodily suffering; it was only harm to the soul and spirituality that he could not accept - in the manner of Yaakov and Avraham, who guarded their spirituality vigilantly even when relinquishing material possessions. He describes distress within distress - sinking mire with no foothold, deep waters, and a sweeping current - and a cry that weakened until his throat was parched and his eyes failed from yearning, as he turned both to human beings through natural means and upward to Heaven. His enemies are numerous and mighty, assailing him on three fronts: his soul, his body, and his property, all rooted in falsehood. Finally, he opens in prayer, saying: Master of the Universe, You know my foolishness and my guilt, both in intellect and in deed, and You alone know the truth concerning all the accusations they falsely heap upon me.