In this chapter we see King David's reaction upon hearing the news that his son Avshalom had died, Yoav's rebuke, and the beginning of the process of restoring David to the kingship and to Yerushalayim. The chapter opens with weeping and mourning, and concludes with the people organizing themselves and the tribe of Yehuda rising to bring the king back to his home.
וַיִּרְגַּז הַמֶּלֶךְ וַיַּעַל עַל־עֲלִיַּת הַשַּׁעַר וַיֵּבְךְּ וְכֹה אָמַר בְּלֶכְתּוֹ בְּנִי אַבְשָׁלוֹם בְּנִי בְנִי אַבְשָׁלוֹם מִי־יִתֵּן מוּתִי אֲנִי תַחְתֶּיךָ אַבְשָׁלוֹם בְּנִי בְנִי׃ - The king was shaken, and he went up to the upper chamber of the gate and wept, and as he went he said: My son Avshalom, my son, my son Avshalom, would that I had died in your place, Avshalom my son, my son.
King David goes up to the upper chamber of the gate, to the high place above the gate, and he walks and weeps and mentions the name of his dead son. He grieves for him with great grief. And on the face of it there is a difficulty here: this son was ready to kill you, he came upon your concubines, he rebelled against you. How can you grieve and weep over such a person?
The Malbim explains: David knew that Avshalom's goal was not to kill him, but merely to reign in his place. Therefore he says "my son Avshalom" - you were like my son, and not like a cruel man or a stranger who came to kill me. And what is the repetition "my son, my son"? The son fit to reign after me, for he was the firstborn after Amnon.
And another matter: David knew that this event was brought about by his own sin. The prophet had promised him and said: just as you acted in secret in the matter of Bat Sheva, so will Hashem raise up against you evil from your own house, "and he will lie with your wives before the eyes of this very sun." If so, David says: my son Avshalom did not have much freedom of choice, his freedom of choice was greatly restricted, and it was as if it had been decreed upon him to chastise me - so that these sufferings are coming to me. And if this was decreed upon him, there is no complaint against him and no claim toward him. Therefore "would that I had died in your place": for I am the one who should have been punished, I am the one who paid a price here, so it would have been fitting that I should die and not you.
The Malbim further notes precision in the order of the words. What is the difference between placing a person's name before his description and placing the description before his name? When a person is wicked, the description comes first: "Naval was his name." And when one wishes to say that a person is righteous, one says "and his name was Avraham," placing the name first. And here David placed Avshalom's name before the description: "Avshalom my son" - as if he were righteous, and in truth was punished only for his father's sin.
Chazal say: if we count, we find that David mentioned the word "my son" here eight times. And why? In order to raise him up from the seven chambers of Gehinnom and bring him into Gan Eden.
The commentators ask: it is written concerning the Holy One, blessed be He, "He takes no bribe." One explanation in Chazal: He does not accept a bribe of mitzvot. And there is another explanation: that Avraham cannot come and take Yishmael out of Gehinnom, nor Yitzchak take Esav out of Gehinnom. He would come and say: Master of the Universe, I was righteous - and the Holy One, blessed be He, says: I do not accept a bribe, I judge him according to what he deserves. If so, how does David here take his son Avshalom out of the seven chambers of Gehinnom and raise him up to Gan Eden?
The answer is: if Avraham comes and says, Master of the Universe, I was righteous, do me a favor and bring Yishmael into Gan Eden - that is a bribe. And likewise, if Yitzchak comes and pleads for Esav by virtue of his own righteousness - that is a bribe. But David made no such claim. David did not raise Avshalom up by virtue of "I am righteous, so do me a favor," but by virtue of a defense he offered for him: Master of the Universe, Avshalom would never have come to this had I not sinned. This is a defense of Avshalom himself - that from his own standpoint he did not deserve such an enormous fall, but rather that a punishment had to come to David, and Avshalom was like a rod with which David was struck, and therefore it is not fitting to exact payment from him. And with this he raised him up.
We find, then, that one can indeed raise a person from Gehinnom to Gan Eden through advocating for merit, but not through my own merits: that is impossible. And from where do Chazal derive that David raised him up? From the verse "the king was shaken and went up" - "went up" implies that he raised someone else, Avshalom, from Gehinnom and brought him into Gan Eden. Yet despite all this, the plain meaning of the text follows the Metzudat David: David wept in the way mourners and wailers do, repeating the same phrase several times - "my son, my son Avshalom, my son."
וַיֻּגַּד לְיוֹאָב הִנֵּה הַמֶּלֶךְ בֹּכֶה וַיִּתְאַבֵּל עַל־אַבְשָׁלוֹם׃ - And it was told to Yoav: Behold, the king is weeping and mourning over Avshalom.
They come and tell Yoav: the king, instead of rejoicing over the great victory, instead of rejoicing that they are restoring him to his kingship, is weeping and grieving. The Malbim says: there was a difference between Yoav and the rest of the people. Yoav knew that the king would grieve over his son, for the king had warned about this, and he knew that if the son died the king would feel sorrow. But Yoav assumed: sorrow, yes; mourning, no.
And what is the difference between mourning and grieving? The Malbim explains: one mourns only over those who are not executed by the court, but for those executed by the court one does not mourn, as the Gemara states, because they were put to death justly. Now Yoav sees that it is not enough that David is grieving, but that he is actually mourning. And if David is mourning, that implies that Avshalom was not put to death justly, for one does not mourn over those executed by the court. In other words, David holds that Avshalom's death was neither necessary nor unavoidable. And if Avshalom was not killed justly, what is the status of the one who killed Avshalom? A murderer. So Yoav understands: if the king is mourning over his son, a case is being opened against me; it turns out that I am guilty of murdering a man here. And therefore he understands that he must go and change the situation.
וַתְּהִי הַתְּשֻׁעָה בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא לְאֵבֶל לְכׇל־הָעָם כִּי־שָׁמַע הָעָם בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא לֵאמֹר נֶעֱצַב הַמֶּלֶךְ עַל־בְּנוֹ׃ - And the deliverance on that day turned into mourning for all the people, for the people heard on that day, saying: The king is grieving over his son.
The people had thought that the king would rejoice in the great deliverance that Hashem had wrought for them, and that there would be no grief in it for the king at all. We said that Yoav knew the king would grieve, and only did not believe he would mourn, but the people did not believe he would grieve at all. And therefore they mourned on that day.
And what is the double emphasis of "on that day"? Because the people said: even if the king has a natural reason to grieve, since this is his son, but on that day? On the day that Hashem wrought deliverance, which is a day of joy, on that day you are grieving? You should have left the grief for afterward. Today you should have made a day of joy, sitting with the soldiers, thanking them and blessing them for the victory. Yet you are turning the day of deliverance into a day of mourning: this they found hard to accept.
וַיִּתְגַּנֵּב הָעָם בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא לָבוֹא הָעִיר כַּאֲשֶׁר יִתְגַּנֵּב הָעָם הַנִּכְלָמִים בְּנוּסָם בַּמִּלְחָמָה׃ - And the people stole into the city on that day, as people who are shamed steal away when they flee in battle.
They did not come in joy. A victorious army returning to the city would have returned with trumpets, in joy, with songs and dancing. But they came like thieves, in secret, like people who had lost the battle - "as people who are shamed steal away when they flee in battle."
וְהַמֶּלֶךְ לָאַט אֶת־פָּנָיו וַיִּזְעַק הַמֶּלֶךְ קוֹל גָּדוֹל בְּנִי אַבְשָׁלוֹם אַבְשָׁלוֹם בְּנִי בְנִי׃ - And the king covered his face, and the king cried out in a loud voice: My son Avshalom, Avshalom my son, my son.
"He covered his face" - like "and he wrapped his face in his mantle" said of Eliyahu the prophet, and like "behold, it is wrapped in a cloth" said when David went to ask Achimelech ben Achituv to help him and asked whether he had a weapon, and Achimelech told him: I have only the sword of Goliath, "behold, it is wrapped in a cloth," and David said to him: Give it to me, there is none better than it. The meaning of "wrapped" is covered. And by way of hint they say that this is the reason Lot's name is Lot: while he was with Avraham he made himself out to be a righteous man and God fearing, a member of Avraham's household, and afterward his inner self was revealed, for he was not satisfied with distancing himself from Avraham but went to the opposite extreme, becoming one of the men of Sodom and even a judge over them, and through this deed the covering (lot) was removed from his face.
Thus "he covered his face" means he covered his face in the manner of mourners, and he cried out in a loud voice. And why did he need to cover his face? The Ralbag explains in his own words: "For he was ashamed to be so strongly overcome by such emotion, for this is not the way of kings." The way of a king is that all his movements and all his ways are gentle; he does not make sharp movements, he does not burst out weeping aloud or laughing aloud. The king was ashamed that they would see his face weeping with loud cries, and therefore he covered his face with a cloth, and thus he wept.
וַיָּבֹא יוֹאָב אֶל־הַמֶּלֶךְ הַבָּיִת וַיֹּאמֶר הֹבַשְׁתָּ הַיּוֹם אֶת־פְּנֵי כׇל־עֲבָדֶיךָ הַמְמַלְּטִים אֶת־נַפְשְׁךָ הַיּוֹם וְאֵת נֶפֶשׁ בָּנֶיךָ וּבְנֹתֶיךָ וְנֶפֶשׁ נָשֶׁיךָ וְנֶפֶשׁ פִּלַגְשֶׁיךָ׃ - And Yoav came to the king in the house and said: You have shamed today the faces of all your servants who saved your life today, and the lives of your sons and your daughters, and the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines.
Yoav says to David: Today you have shamed your servants, those who fought on your behalf and those who came to save you. And this touches Yoav personally, for if the king mourns for his son, then Yoav comes out guilty. And indeed Yoav was guilty, and we will see further on that the king will seek his life.
The first argument: Had we not fought against Avshalom, what would have been the end? He would have sought your life and the lives of your sons and your wives and your concubines. Just as he violated your concubines, his mind would not have been at ease until he had killed all your people. And so your servants are the ones who saved your life and the lives of your sons: they saved you, and when they killed Avshalom they saved you from him. How can you become sad when you hear that Avshalom has died? As long as Avshalom lived, all your days you were in danger.
לְאַהֲבָה אֶת־שֹׂנְאֶיךָ וְלִשְׂנֹא אֶת־אֹהֲבֶיךָ כִּי הִגַּדְתָּ הַיּוֹם כִּי אֵין לְךָ שָׂרִים וַעֲבָדִים כִּי יָדַעְתִּי הַיּוֹם כִּי לוּ אַבְשָׁלוֹם חַי וְכֻלָּנוּ הַיּוֹם מֵתִים כִּי־אָז יָשָׁר בְּעֵינֶיךָ׃ - Loving those who hate you and hating those who love you, for you have declared today that you have no officers or servants, for I know today that had Avshalom lived and all of us today were dead, then it would have been right in your eyes.
The second argument: Even if you would argue in Avshalom's favor that he did not intend to kill you but only to seize the kingship, with whom did he do this? With your enemies. Whom did he attach to himself? Those who hate you. Had Avshalom remained alive and had you fulfilled his will, you would have caused those who hate you to be at the top and those who love you to be lowly beneath them. For when Avshalom came to reign, who were the company around him? David's enemies from of old: Achitofel, Doeg the Edomite, all of David's foes. It turns out that you draw your enemies close, and the entire guard around him are those who hate you, while those who love you are lowly beneath them and perhaps even killed.
The third argument: True, you have love for your son, and true, you are bound to him with the fibers of your soul and therefore his death pains you greatly, but it is not fitting that the king should hold his own family dearer at the expense of his people and his servants. You are a king who rules over all of us, and as ruler over all of us, we must all be dear to your heart. And by this deed you "have declared today that you have no officers or servants": as if we are not your officers and servants, and you look upon what happens to your son more than upon what happens to us. This is a self centered matter that is not fitting for a king.
The fourth argument: "For I know today that had Avshalom lived and all of us today were dead, then it would have been right in your eyes." Had Avshalom been alive, the war would have continued until there was a decisive outcome. And the present outcome, that Avshalom is dead, is not acceptable to you. If so, what would you have preferred? A different outcome: that all of us are dead and Avshalom lives. Do you understand to what conclusion you bring us? For there are no two other sides: either we live and he is dead, or he lives and we are dead.
וְעַתָּה קוּם צֵא וְדַבֵּר עַל־לֵב עֲבָדֶיךָ כִּי בַיהֹוָה נִשְׁבַּעְתִּי כִּי־אֵינְךָ יוֹצֵא אִם־יָלִין אִישׁ אִתְּךָ הַלַּיְלָה וְרָעָה לְךָ זֹאת מִכׇּל־הָרָעָה אֲשֶׁר־בָּאָה עָלֶיךָ מִנְּעֻרֶיךָ עַד־עָתָּה׃ - And now arise, go out and speak to the heart of your servants, for I swear by Hashem that if you do not go out, no man will lodge with you this night, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.
Yoav gives him a clear instruction: your duty at this hour is to go out and speak to the heart of your servants, to rejoice with them, to comfort them and to show them that you are not so sad and mourning over the death of your son, but rather glad at the victory they achieved. And a word is missing in the language of the verse, and it should be read thus: "for I swear by Hashem, that if you do not go out" - if you do not do this thing, no man will lodge with you this night, you will cause a rebellion against yourself. For the people will say: the king wants his enemies, if so I fought for him in vain, what did I gain from this? I go for his benefit and afterward the king hates me - let us seek out someone else.
"And this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now." David said, "Those who hate me without cause are more than the hairs of my head," and he said, "Many have distressed me from my youth." And Yoav says to him: know this, the trouble that is about to come upon you now because of what you have done will be harder for you than all the troubles you have had until now. And why? Because David's standing until this day lay in the fact that the people loved him. True, there were those who sided with Shaul, the Ziphites and others, but the majority of the people loved David, and there are explicit verses that they loved him with the love of the soul. And even now, though Avshalom succeeded in drawing a significant portion of the people, many still loved David. Yoav says to him: your chance of returning to reign lies in the fact that the people still love you. But if the people reach a state where they hate you, when they understand that you do not seek their benefit, then it will be worse for you than all the troubles that were until this day, for until now you had something with you, the people, and now you will lose even that. Therefore he must rejoice with them and show them that he appreciates the war they fought and the effort they made for his sake.
וַיָּקׇם הַמֶּלֶךְ וַיֵּשֶׁב בַּשָּׁעַר וּלְכׇל־הָעָם הִגִּידוּ לֵאמֹר הִנֵּה הַמֶּלֶךְ יוֹשֵׁב בַּשַּׁעַר וַיָּבֹא כׇל־הָעָם לִפְנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ וְיִשְׂרָאֵל נָס אִישׁ לְאֹהָלָיו׃ - And the king arose and sat in the gate, and they told all the people, saying, Behold, the king is sitting in the gate. And all the people came before the king, and Israel had fled every man to his tent.
The king hears and accepts Yoav's arguments, which are acceptable and true arguments, and he goes and sits in the gate. They told the people: behold, the king is sitting in the gate, and everyone comes to greet him and to receive from him, as it were, a word of appreciation for the deed they did. "And Israel had fled every man to his tent" - "Israel" here are those who were with Avshalom, those who waged the war against David. Now they no longer have Avshalom, and they are ashamed to come before David, and they all flee every man to his tent.
וַיְהִי כׇל־הָעָם נָדוֹן בְּכׇל־שִׁבְטֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לֵאמֹר הַמֶּלֶךְ הִצִּילָנוּ מִכַּף אֹיְבֵינוּ וְהוּא מִלְּטָנוּ מִכַּף פְּלִשְׁתִּים וְעַתָּה בָּרַח מִן־הָאָרֶץ מֵעַל אַבְשָׁלוֹם׃ - And all the people were deliberating throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, The king saved us from the hand of our enemies, and he delivered us from the hand of the Philistines, and now he has fled from the land on account of Avshalom.
"Deliberating" - they debate among themselves and with one another, speaking to each other. And they say to themselves: how foolish we were to be drawn after Avshalom, what an act of folly we committed. For if we look, the king is the one who saved us from the hand of our enemies, and in the past too he delivered us from the hand of the Philistines. And what did we do to him? That he fled from the land because of Avshalom. Did we then choose Avshalom? Avshalom, what did he give us, what did he do for us, in what did he benefit us? The one who supported us and benefited us and helped us until today is the king, and we went to help his enemies, and because of us he fled from the land - we drove the king away, as we saw that David crossed to the eastern side of the Jordan.
וְאַבְשָׁלוֹם אֲשֶׁר מָשַׁחְנוּ עָלֵינוּ מֵת בַּמִּלְחָמָה וְעַתָּה לָמָה אַתֶּם מַחֲרִשִׁים לְהָשִׁיב אֶת־הַמֶּלֶךְ׃ - And Avshalom, whom we anointed over us, has died in the war. And now, why are you silent about bringing back the king?
And in particular they say: even one who would claim that Avshalom really was good - Avshalom is no longer relevant, for he died in the war. And if so, who is the default choice? David the king. So why are you silent, why do you wait and keep quiet? Come, let us bring David the king back to Jerusalem to reign, and let us go to greet him.
וְהַמֶּלֶךְ דָּוִד שָׁלַח אֶל־צָדוֹק וְאֶל־אֶבְיָתָר הַכֹּהֲנִים לֵאמֹר דַּבְּרוּ אֶל־זִקְנֵי יְהוּדָה לֵאמֹר לָמָּה תִהְיוּ אַחֲרֹנִים לְהָשִׁיב אֶת־הַמֶּלֶךְ אֶל־בֵּיתוֹ וּדְבַר כׇּל־יִשְׂרָאֵל בָּא אֶל־הַמֶּלֶךְ אֶל־בֵּיתוֹ׃ - And King David sent to Tzadok and to Evyatar the Kohanim, saying: Speak to the elders of Yehuda, saying: Why should you be the last to bring the king back to his house, when the talk of all Israel has already reached the king, to his house?
David knew that everyone was in fact ready to accept his kingship, but someone needed to translate that will into action. Going out to welcome David required someone who would do it in an organized way, someone who would rally everyone to restore David to his kingship. And David understood that it would be best if the matter came from an act of the leaders of the people, the elders and the important men, and if the elders of Yehuda would go at the head, everyone else would follow after them. So he sends to the elders of Yehuda and says: Why should you be the last to bring the king back? That is, the king must be restored both to his kingship and to Jerusalem, and it is fitting that you, the elders, be first, and afterward everyone will follow after the tribe of Yehuda. All the more so since the tribe of Yehuda is the royal tribe and is as the head, and when it does something, the rest of the tribes are drawn after it.
אַחַי אַתֶּם עַצְמִי וּבְשָׂרִי אַתֶּם וְלָמָּה תִהְיוּ אַחֲרֹנִים לְהָשִׁיב אֶת־הַמֶּלֶךְ׃ - You are my brothers, you are my bone and my flesh, so why should you be the last to bring the king back?
Here he gives them a further means of persuasion. Perhaps you will say that you do not agree to his returning to his kingship, because you are afraid: if he returns here he will hold a summary court against all those who rebelled against him, and there are many among us who were with Avshalom, so why should we get entangled and bring David back so that he begins to take revenge on us? To this he says to them: You are my bone and my flesh, you have nothing to fear from punishment, you are the king's brothers and the sons of his tribe, what are you afraid of? In the end the king will be brought back, for the whole nation wants him, so what will come of your delay? Only a greater trouble for you, that you will be the last to bring the king back, and this will show that you are not whole in his kingship, for you waited until there was no choice, and once everyone else had brought him back you joined too. That is a bad thing, for it will appear as though you do not want his kingship. Therefore, on the contrary, it is fitting that you be the first to bring the king back and show him that you desire him, and the king will do nothing to you, for you are my brothers, my bone and my flesh.
וְלַעֲמָשָׂא תֹּמְרוּ הֲלוֹא עַצְמִי וּבְשָׂרִי אָתָּה כֹּה יַעֲשֶׂה־לִּי אֱלֹהִים וְכֹה יוֹסִיף אִם־לֹא שַׂר־צָבָא תִּהְיֶה לְפָנַי כׇּל־הַיָּמִים תַּחַת יוֹאָב׃ - And to Amasa you shall say: Are you not my bone and my flesh? So may God do to me and more, if you shall not be commander of the army before me all the days in place of Yoav.
Amasa son of Yeter had been the commander of Avshalom's army, and as such his fear was very great: I was one of the leading figures who organized the coup, and David most likely wants my head. David says to him: Yes, I want your head, that it be the head of my army, in place of Yoav.
And how so? Because Yoav, as we said, was a professional troublemaker, and at the end of his life David commands his son to kill him. We already saw that Yoav killed Avner son of Ner, and further on we will see yet another murder he commits. And why did he kill Avner? Because he understood that Avner was destined to become commander of the army in his place, and Avner was one of Shaul's men, so he had a personal hatred toward him. And we said that this brought about a situation that was almost a rebellion against David: did Avner son of Ner come to make peace with you and you send to kill him? Therefore David went out to the people, eulogized Avner and told them that the matter did not come from him but from Yoav, "and what can I do, for the sons of Tzeruya are too hard for me" - I do not have the power to punish him. But now, if I have Amasa son of Yeter, I will be able to be rid of Yoav and appoint Amasa as commander of the army.
וַיַּט אֶת־לְבַב כׇּל־אִישׁ־יְהוּדָה כְּאִישׁ אֶחָד וַיִּשְׁלְחוּ אֶל־הַמֶּלֶךְ שׁוּב אַתָּה וְכׇל־עֲבָדֶיךָ׃ - And he inclined the heart of every man of Yehuda as one man, and they sent to the king: Return, you and all your servants.
With these words David succeeded in inclining the heart of all the men of Yehuda as one man, and they come and say to him: We want, our lord the king, that you return to reign over us.
וַיָּשׇׁב הַמֶּלֶךְ וַיָּבֹא עַד־הַיַּרְדֵּן וִיהוּדָה בָּא הַגִּלְגָּלָה לָלֶכֶת לִקְרַאת הַמֶּלֶךְ לְהַעֲבִיר אֶת־הַמֶּלֶךְ אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּן׃ - And the king returned and came as far as the Jordan, and Yehuda came to Gilgal to go to meet the king, to bring the king across the Jordan.
The king continues on his way and arrives at the Jordan, for he was on the eastern side of the Jordan and needed to cross to the western bank in order to enter the Land of Israel. And the people gathered at Gilgal, which is on the western side of the Jordan, in order to greet him.
The chapter opens with David weeping over Avshalom, and we learned that this weeping was not mere weakness: David saw in Avshalom a son and not an enemy, knew that the rebellion came as punishment for his own sin, and through an abundance of favorable judgment he raised him with eight utterances of "my son" from the seven chambers of Gehinnom to Gan Eden - for advocacy on another's behalf helps, whereas one's own merits amount to a bribe that the Holy One, blessed be He, does not accept. On the other side we learned the perspective of the leader: Yoav saw that the mourning cast a slur on the killing of Avshalom, and the people saw that the day of salvation had turned into a day of mourning, so that they slipped into the city like people shamed. Yoav's four arguments teach a fundamental principle regarding kingship: the king may not favor his own family over his people, and David's great virtue was the people's love for him. David accepts the rebuke, sits at the gate, and the people are roused to recognize his goodness. From here David acts wisely: he sends to the elders of Yehuda that they should be the first, calms their fear of punishment, and promises Amasa, Avshalom's army commander, command of the army in place of Yoav, and thus he inclined the heart of all the men of Yehuda as one man, and the king returned as far as the Jordan, and Yehuda went out to Gilgal to greet him.