Chapter 13 of Shmuel B is one of the most difficult chapters in Scripture: the episode of Amnon and Tamar, and the entire chain of consequences that it dragged in its wake - David's silence, Avshalom's hatred, and finally the murder of Amnon and Avshalom's flight to Geshur. In the lesson before us we will follow the Malbim from the moment Tamar leaves Amnon's house until the end of the chapter, and we will see how every detail in the language of the text reveals the inner movement of the souls of the characters at play.
וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלֶיהָ אַבְשָׁלוֹם אָחִיהָ הַאֲמִינוֹן אָחִיךְ הָיָה עִמָּךְ, וְעַתָּה אֲחוֹתִי הַחֲרִישִׁי, אָחִיךְ הוּא, אַל תָּשִׁיתִי אֶת לִבֵּךְ לַדָּבָר הַזֶּה; וַתֵּשֶׁב תָּמָר וְשֹׁמֵמָה בֵּית אַבְשָׁלוֹם אָחִיהָ. (20) - And Avshalom her brother said to her: Has Aminon your brother been with you? But now, my sister, keep silent; he is your brother, do not set your heart to this matter. So Tamar remained, and desolate, in the house of Avshalom her brother.
First, what is "Aminon"? This is a term of contempt, a name of disgrace. The yud here comes to diminish, like "ishon" (the pupil), the little man within the eye. So too "Aminon", in a manner of scorn. Avshalom asks his sister: has he been with you?
From here on Avshalom performs a cold analysis for her. He comes and says to her: look, what will you gain from this matter? If it is a question of your honor, then if the thing becomes known you will be disgraced, for having secluded yourself with a man and coming to such a state. And if you say that there is no claim against you, indeed, here there is no claim, for it is your brother. Had you gone and secluded yourself with another man, they would say to you: this is your punishment, why did you go seeking out a stranger, in the way Chazal said about Dinah. But here, since it is your brother, there is no claim against you. Therefore, for the sake of your honor, it is better for you to be silent.
And if it is a question of the vile deed itself, Avshalom says to her: what has been done can no longer be repaired, the flaw cannot be undone. Therefore it is better for you to forget the whole matter. And to take revenge? You will not succeed. Is there a court to which you could come and file a claim against the king's son? What would you gain from it? In other words he says to her: let us leave the judgment to the Creator of the world. And indeed, as we will see later, the Creator of the world claimed her honor.
We must remember that this is the king's son, and the whole attitude toward him is different. And here it is fitting to repeat the words of the Ralbag that we mentioned previously. Let us note that among David's sons we saw quite a few failures in upbringing: Amnon and the episode of Tamar, Avshalom who turned out to be a son who rebelled against his father and did terrible things, and Adoniah son of Chagit "who exalted himself, saying: I will reign." The Ralbag says: since David appointed his sons to honored positions in his kingdom - "and the sons of David were chief officers" - this caused them not to be properly educated. And furthermore: David did not shape them and did not rebuke them, as it is said about Adoniah "and his father had never grieved him all his days, saying: why have you done so." From this came the many corruptions that occurred in David's house, and this is one of them.
And this is a great lesson learned from our portion: a person must know how to educate his children. And if you ask - how did Shlomo come out from there, so well educated and so righteous? The answer is in the verse: "which his mother taught him." His mother is the one who raised him, she is the one who disciplined him, she is the one who saw to it that he grew up properly. But David was soft with his children, and this is what caused those corruptions.
The Malbim explains: Tamar's way was always to walk about, to be joyful and to rejoice, as is the way of the king's virgin daughters. And now two things were said of her. "So she remained" - she no longer went outside. "And desolate" - even within her house she did not sit amid amusements, she was not with her friends and companions, but sat as one desolate. In short: the entire life of her youth was extinguished all at once.
וְהַמֶּלֶךְ דָּוִד שָׁמַע אֵת כָּל הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה וַיִּחַר לוֹ מְאֹד. (21) - And King David heard all these things, and he was very angry.
David heard about it, and as a result his anger burned. Yet why did David not take any real action? Because Amnon was his firstborn son, the one who would continue the dynasty, and there was a great concern here about disgracing the royal house. But this itself only stirred up Avshalom's hatred toward Amnon all the more: Avshalom had expected David to demand justice for his sister's honor, and when he saw that his father was doing nothing tangible about it, he decided that he himself would carry out the judgment.
וְלֹא דִבֶּר אַבְשָׁלוֹם עִם אַמְנוֹן לְמֵרָע וְעַד טוֹב, כִּי שָׂנֵא אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֶת אַמְנוֹן עַל דְּבַר אֲשֶׁר עִנָּה אֵת תָּמָר אֲחֹתוֹ. (כב) - And Avshalom did not speak with Amnon either bad or good, for Avshalom hated Amnon on account of his having violated his sister Tamar. (22)
וַיְהִי לִשְׁנָתַיִם יָמִים וַיִּהְיוּ גֹזְזִים לְאַבְשָׁלוֹם בְּבַעַל חָצוֹר אֲשֶׁר עִם אֶפְרָיִם, וַיִּקְרָא אַבְשָׁלוֹם לְכָל בְּנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ. (כג) - And it came to pass after two full years, that Avshalom had sheepshearers in Baal Chatzor, which is beside Efrayim, and Avshalom invited all the king's sons. (23)
Two full years after that incident, the time for shearing the flock arrived. Their custom was that at the time of shearing they would make a festive day, a celebration with rejoicing. Avshalom invites all the king's sons to come to the feast he was holding in honor of the shearing.
וַיָּבֹא אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֶל הַמֶּלֶךְ וַיֹּאמֶר: הִנֵּה נָא גֹזְזִים לְעַבְדֶּךָ, יֵלֶךְ נָא הַמֶּלֶךְ וַעֲבָדָיו עִם עַבְדֶּךָ. (כד) - And Avshalom came to the king and said: Behold now, your servant has shearers; let the king, I pray, and his servants go with your servant. (24)
Avshalom invites his father to come to the shearing celebration. But this was a ploy: he knew very well that David would refuse, and he thought to himself that when the king would decline he would be able to achieve his true aim, that someone else would come in his place, as we will see shortly.
וַיֹּאמֶר הַמֶּלֶךְ אֶל אַבְשָׁלוֹם: אַל בְּנִי, אַל נָא נֵלֵךְ כֻּלָּנוּ וְלֹא נִכְבַּד עָלֶיךָ; וַיִּפְרָץ בּוֹ וְלֹא אָבָה לָלֶכֶת וַיְבָרְכֵהוּ. (כה) - And the king said to Avshalom: No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden upon you; and he pressed him, but he would not go, and he blessed him. (25)
A king does not go alone; a large retinue and entourage always accompanies him. David says: If I come, a great multitude will come with me, and a heavy expense will fall upon you to prepare a feast for everyone, it is a pity, "lest we be a burden upon you." "And he pressed him" - Avshalom urges him greatly and says that even so he is willing. "But he would not go" - here there is already a further stage: after David first explained that he did not want to come because of the burden, now, when Avshalom keeps pressing, it becomes clear that in his own right too he simply does not want to go at all, even apart from the reason of "lest we be a burden upon you." "And he blessed him" - he thanked him for the invitation and for his generosity of heart.
וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְשָׁלוֹם: וָלֹא, יֵלֶךְ נָא אִתָּנוּ אַמְנוֹן אָחִי; וַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ הַמֶּלֶךְ: לָמָּה יֵלֵךְ עִמָּךְ. (כו) - And Avshalom said: If not, let my brother Amnon, I pray, go with us; and the king said to him: Why should he go with you? (26)
At first glance this is puzzling: it already said "and Avshalom invited all the king's sons," and Amnon was among them, so why does he need to mention him separately? The answer is that Amnon was the firstborn son and stood under his father the king, in the position of crown prince. Therefore "all the king's sons" does not include him, for inviting him is like inviting the king himself. Now, when Avshalom saw that the king would not come, he argues: If so, let Amnon come, for he stands in your stead and in your place, if the king does not come, let the deputy come, let the crown prince come. And David does not understand: "Why should he go with you?" - why is it so important to you that specifically he should go?
וַיִּפְרָץ בּוֹ אַבְשָׁלוֹם, וַיִּשְׁלַח אִתּוֹ אֶת אַמְנוֹן וְאֵת כָּל בְּנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ. (כז) - And Avshalom pressed him, so he sent with him Amnon and all the king's sons. (27)
"ויפרץ בו" - he pressed him, and in the end the king agreed, and Avshalom takes Amnon along with all the king's sons.
וַיְצַו אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֶת נְעָרָיו לֵאמֹר: רְאוּ נָא כְּטוֹב לֵב אַמְנוֹן בַּיַּיִן וְאָמַרְתִּי אֲלֵיכֶם הַכּוּ אֶת אַמְנוֹן וַהֲמִתֶּם אֹתוֹ, אַל תִּירָאוּ, הֲלוֹא כִּי אָנֹכִי צִוִּיתִי אֶתְכֶם, חִזְקוּ וִהְיוּ לִבְנֵי חָיִל. (כח) - And Avshalom commanded his young men, saying: See now, when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and I say to you, Strike Amnon, then put him to death; fear not, have I not commanded you? Be strong and be valiant men. (28)
Avshalom commands: when you see that Amnon has already drunk a few cups and is thoroughly cheerful, and I say to you "Strike Amnon" - at that moment strike him and put him to death. And what is "fear not"? That you will not need to give an account before the king, for I take the responsibility upon myself - "have I not commanded you? Be strong and be valiant men."
וַיַּעֲשׂוּ נַעֲרֵי אַבְשָׁלוֹם לְאַמְנוֹן כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוָּה אַבְשָׁלוֹם, וַיָּקֻמוּ כָּל בְּנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ וַיִּרְכְּבוּ אִישׁ עַל פִּרְדּוֹ וַיָּנֻסוּ. (כט) - And Avshalom's young men did to Amnon as Avshalom had commanded, and all the king's sons arose, and every man rode on his mule and fled. (29)
Avshalom's young men kill Amnon when they saw that he had drunk his fill, and afterward all the king's sons flee.
וַיְהִי הֵמָּה בַדֶּרֶךְ וְהַשְּׁמֻעָה בָאָה אֶל דָּוִד לֵאמֹר: הִכָּה אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֶת כָּל בְּנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ וְלֹא נוֹתַר מֵהֶם אֶחָד. (ל) - And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that the report reached David, saying: Avshalom has struck all the king's sons, and not one of them is left. (30)
They are still on the way, and already terrifying reports reach David: they have killed them all, not one of them is left to you.
וַיָּקָם הַמֶּלֶךְ וַיִּקְרַע אֶת בְּגָדָיו וַיִּשְׁכַּב אָרְצָה, וְכָל עֲבָדָיו נִצָּבִים קְרֻעֵי בְגָדִים. (לא) - And the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their garments torn. (31)
The king hears such a dreadful report, tears his garments, and lies on the ground as a sign of mourning.
וַיַּעַן יוֹנָדָב בֶּן שִׁמְעָה אֲחִי דָוִד וַיֹּאמֶר: אַל יֹאמַר אֲדֹנִי אֵת כָּל הַנְּעָרִים בְּנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ הֵמִיתוּ, כִּי אַמְנוֹן לְבַדּוֹ מֵת, כִּי עַל פִּי אַבְשָׁלוֹם הָיְתָה שׂוּמָה מִיּוֹם עַנֹּתוֹ אֵת תָּמָר אֲחֹתוֹ. (לב) - And Yonadav son of Shimah, David's brother, answered and said: Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king's sons, for Amnon alone is dead, for by Avshalom's word this was determined from the day that he violated his sister Tamar. (32)
Yonadav reassures David: do not think they killed all the king's sons; it is clear to me that the only one who died is Amnon alone. And how did he know this? "For by the mouth of Avshalom this had been determined" - the matter was like a will and like a standing directive with Avshalom from the day that Amnon violated his sister; it lay upon him as an obligation he had taken upon himself to kill Amnon and take revenge on him.
וְעַתָּה אַל יָשֵׂם אֲדֹנִי הַמֶּלֶךְ אֶל לִבּוֹ דָּבָר לֵאמֹר כָּל בְּנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ מֵתוּ, כִּי אַמְנוֹן לְבַדּוֹ מֵת. (לג) - And now let my lord the king not take the matter to heart, saying that all the king's sons are dead, for only Amnon is dead. (33)
This seems repetitive: he already said that Amnon alone is dead, so why does he repeat it? The Malbim explains: Yonadav is concerned that David will say to himself - true, Avshalom intended only Amnon, but perhaps as a result the killing of the other sons of the king came about, for it is possible that they rose to save Amnon's life and a man's sword fell upon his brother. Therefore he adds: "Let my lord the king not take the matter to heart" - do not begin to think and imagine in your heart that if he is dead, surely they all died as well. Know this: only Amnon is dead.
Here one can see Hashem's kindness with David. It is like a man who bought something for his house and is afraid his wife will say to him: why did you buy it so expensively? What does he do? He asks her: how much do you think this cost? She names a high figure - two hundred shekels? Did you really spend such an amount? And he answers: no and no, only seventy shekels. Immediately she is relieved. Had he told her seventy from the start, she would have said it was an unnecessary expense; but after a high figure was mentioned, the low figure already sounds reasonable. And sometimes it is the opposite: the husband sees that the wife bought something expensive, and she names a large amount and then reassures him - it was a sale, a quarter of the price, four hundred and not four thousand. Then he is relieved.
So too here: from Heaven it was arranged that the first report to reach David would be "all the king's sons are dead" - a terrible tragedy. And when immediately afterward they come and tell him that only Amnon died, he almost makes a good day and a day of joy. Had they told him from the start that Amnon died, it would have been a great mourning for him; but since he was first told that they all died and immediately afterward that this was a mistake, he received the news in an easier manner.
וַיִּבְרַח אַבְשָׁלוֹם, וַיִּשָּׂא הַנַּעַר הַצֹּפֶה אֶת עֵינָו וַיַּרְא וְהִנֵּה עַם רַב הֹלְכִים מִדֶּרֶךְ אַחֲרָיו מִצַּד הָהָר. (לד) - And Avshalom fled. And the young watchman lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him, from the side of the mountain. (34)
The young watchman stands on the tower to look and see those coming, and he was stationed there because the king was anxious and waiting to know how his sons fared. The watchman was looking toward the road on which they had gone, but they had fled by a winding path and came from the road behind the watchman.
וַיֹּאמֶר יוֹנָדָב אֶל הַמֶּלֶךְ: הִנֵּה בְנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ בָּאוּ, כִּדְבַר עַבְדְּךָ כֵּן הָיָה. (לה) - And Yonadav said to the king: Behold, the king's sons have come; as your servant said, so it was. (35)
Yonadav says to him: here is the proof for you, as your servant said, so it was - the king's sons are coming, and only Amnon alone is dead.
וַיְהִי כְּכַלֹּתוֹ לְדַבֵּר וְהִנֵּה בְנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ בָּאוּ וַיִּשְׂאוּ קוֹלָם וַיִּבְכּוּ, וְגַם הַמֶּלֶךְ וְכָל עֲבָדָיו בָּכוּ בְּכִי גָּדוֹל מְאֹד. (לו) - And it was, as he finished speaking, that behold, the king's sons came and lifted up their voice and wept; and the king and all his servants also wept a very great weeping. (36)
As he finished speaking, the king's sons arrived, and they are weeping over having witnessed the death of their brother, and the king and all his servants also weep a very great weeping. And let us not forget: Amnon was David's firstborn son, and therefore his grief over him was the greatest of all.
וְאַבְשָׁלוֹם בָּרַח וַיֵּלֶךְ אֶל תַּלְמַי בֶּן עַמִּיהוּד מֶלֶךְ גְּשׁוּר, וַיִּתְאַבֵּל עַל בְּנוֹ כָּל הַיָּמִים. (לז) - And Avshalom fled and went to Talmai son of Amihud, king of Geshur, and he mourned for his son all the days. (37)
How did Avshalom manage to flee? Because the king was so preoccupied with his sons, whether they were alive or not, that he did not send a force to seize him, and in the meantime Avshalom managed to escape. And why specifically to Talmai son of Amihud, king of Geshur? Because Talmai was the father of Maachah, and Maachah was Avshalom's mother. In other words, he fled to his grandfather.
"And he mourned for his son all the days" - David mourns for his son all the days, and this is puzzling. Regarding the first son born to him from Bat Sheva we saw that as soon as he died David arose, washed, anointed himself, and ate and drank, and said: now that he has died, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I am going to him, but he will not return to me. The Ralbag asks: by that very reasoning it would have been fitting that here too he not mourn for his son all the days, for Amnon will not return to him, rather he will go to him, for we are all destined to die.
There are two answers to this. The first answer: the fasting and prayer there were in the manner of request and supplication before Hashem that He heal the child. Once the child died, there was no longer anything to plead for, for one does not continue to ask that he be healed, since he has already died. The fast was meant to change the situation, and after death the situation can no longer change, so there is no point in continuing. But here it is not a matter of prayer that he live, but of mourning, of grief over his death, and for this there is room even after death.
The Radak explains differently: there it was a small infant, to whom one is not yet attached and bonded. It is far easier for a person to come to terms with the death of a child just born whom he never even saw, and all the more so with a miscarriage, Hashem should protect us, for if a woman miscarries in one of the months of pregnancy, even the later ones, it is indeed hard for the father and mother, but the difficulty is not as great as with one who loses a child of five or ten or twenty, Hashem should protect us, to whom one is already attached and bonded. Amnon was already grown and David was already attached to him, and therefore mourning is appropriate here. But there it was a small infant, even within the thirty days, to whom the laws of mourning do not apply because he is still under the concern of being a nefel, and there was no emotional bond with him either, and therefore we do not find that David mourned for him all the days.
וְאַבְשָׁלוֹם בָּרַח וַיֵּלֶךְ גְּשׁוּר, וַיְהִי שָׁם שָׁלֹשׁ שָׁנִים. (לח) - And Avshalom fled and went to Geshur, and he was there three years. (38)
Again a puzzle: it already said "And Avshalom fled," and afterward "And Avshalom fled and went to Talmai son of Amihud, king of Geshur," so why again "And Avshalom fled and went to Geshur"? The Abarbanel explains: at first he fled to Talmai his grandfather and would travel about with him wherever Talmai went. But since David mourned for his son all the days, three years, Avshalom feared that he might send a force after him and it would catch up with him. Therefore "and went to Geshur": he entered inside the city and shut himself behind a wall, doors and a bolt.
וַתְּכַל דָּוִד הַמֶּלֶךְ לָצֵאת אֶל אַבְשָׁלוֹם, כִּי נִחַם עַל אַמְנוֹן כִּי מֵת. (לט) - And King David longed to go out to Avshalom, for he was consoled over Amnon that he was dead. (39)
This verse is puzzling in several respects. First, "vatechal" is in the feminine form, and it should have said "vayechal." And second, what does it mean: did David want to go out to Avshalom or did he not want to? The Malbim brings several interpretations.
The Efodi explains "vatechal" from the root of restraint (keleh). For the first three years David was mourning for his son, and he wanted to go out to Avshalom in order to avenge his son's blood and kill him. "Vatechal" - they restrained him, prevented him. And who prevented him? A woman: either Maachah his wife, or Tamar, since Avshalom is her brother. Not by actual imprisonment, but through persuasion and entreaty they prevented him from doing so. And how did they succeed? "For he was consoled over Amnon that he was dead" - they saw that he had already somewhat come to be consoled over Amnon's death, and by this they aided in preventing him from going to avenge his blood.
The Ralbag and the Radak explain the opposite: "ותכל" is from the phrase "כלתה נפשי," meaning "my soul yearned," as in "נפשי יצאה בדברו." And the soul of King David yearned to go out to Avshalom, his soul longed to go to him out of his love for him and his longing for him, out of his great desire to meet him. And why? "For he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he was dead" - he had already been comforted over the death of Amnon, and so his heart turned toward Avshalom. And in the next chapter, with God's help, we will see how they ultimately succeed in bringing him back.
The chapter opens with the silence that Avshalom imposed upon Tamar, "be still," and with David's silence in not demanding justice for his daughter's honor, and it ends in blood: Amnon was killed at the sheepshearers' feast, the king's sons fled, and Avshalom fled to Geshur for three years. The Malbim reveals to us the entire chain: the scheme of the invitation, which was designed to draw specifically Amnon out of the house, the words of Yonadav that reassured David twofold, and the kindness of Heaven that sent the harsh report ahead of the lighter one that followed it. And above all stands the lesson we learned from the Ralbag: excessive softness in education, and appointing the sons to positions without correction and shaping, are what gave rise to the corruptions in the house of David; whereas by contrast, "which his mother taught him" is what produced Shlomo.