Chapter 3 of Shmuel B is a chapter of a turning point. The war between the house of Shaul and the house of David continues, but the situation slowly reverses: David grows steadily stronger, while the house of Shaul grows steadily weaker. Within the chapter we meet the list of David's sons who were born in Chevron, the rift between Avner and Ish Boshet, the very rift that decided the fate of the house of Shaul's kingship, the return of Michal to David, and David's wisdom in the way he received the monarchy. Throughout the chapter we will study the explanations of the Malbim, the words of Chazal, and above all a great moral lesson about the power of self interest to shape a person's "truth."
וַתְּהִי הַמִּלְחָמָה אֲרֻכָּה בֵּין בֵּית שָׁאוּל וּבֵין בֵּית דָּוִד וְדָוִד הֹלֵךְ וְחָזֵק וּבֵית שָׁאוּל הֹלְכִים וְדַלִּים׃ - And the war was long between the house of Shaul and the house of David, and David grew steadily stronger while the house of Shaul grew steadily weaker.
From the time the war began between Avner and Yoav, the war grew stronger and stronger. And from that time the house of Shaul grew steadily weaker: little by little people began to leave Ish Boshet and cling to the kingship of the house of David.
וַיִּוָּלְדוּ לְדָוִד בָּנִים בְּחֶבְרוֹן וַיְהִי בְכוֹרוֹ אַמְנוֹן לַאֲחִינֹעַם הַיִּזְרְעֵאלִת׃ - And sons were born to David in Chevron. His firstborn was Amnon, by Achinoam the Yizre'elite.
וּמִשְׁנֵהוּ כִלְאָב לַאֲבִיגַיִל אֵשֶׁת נָבָל הַכַּרְמְלִי וְהַשְּׁלִשִׁי אַבְשָׁלוֹם בֶּן־מַעֲכָה בַּת־תַּלְמַי מֶלֶךְ גְּשׁוּר׃ - And his second was Kilav, by Avigayil the wife of Naval the Carmelite; and the third was Avshalom son of Ma'acha daughter of Talmai king of Geshur.
How did Ma'acha daughter of Talmai king of Geshur come to David? She was a beautiful woman whom David took in war, and from her Avshalom was born.
Here the second son is called "Kilav," and in another place he is called "Daniel," as Rashi brings. Chazal say that in truth his name was Daniel, but the scoffers of the generation would say: Avigayil was pregnant from Naval, for immediately after Naval died David married his wife.
The Malbim wonders at the very claim: surely David observed the three months of distinguishing. Why are months of distinguishing needed? In order to be certain that the woman is not pregnant from the first husband, for otherwise, when the child is born we would not know whether it was born after seven months to the second or after nine to the first. If so, how could they say such a thing? The answer is that one does not raise difficulties against scoffers. Scoffers, when they want to mock, make a joke even without there being any logic in the matter.
And we find something like this also with Avraham Avinu. The scoffers of the generation said: Sarah became pregnant from Avimelech. For years Avraham was married to her and she had no son, and now she spent one night with Avimelech and suddenly she is pregnant. The masters of mussar ask: these scoffers are indeed scoffers, but they are more foolish than they are scoffers, for by this they did not change the miracle at all. Sarah was ninety years old, and where have we heard of a ninety year old giving birth? Even according to their scoffing there is still a miracle here. But the masters of mussar explain: the scoffers were willing to admit that there was a miracle here, but a miracle for Avimelech and not for Avraham. The Holy One, blessed be He, performed a miracle for the secular one and not for the religious one. Do not think that only you religious ones matter; there are miracles, but not for the righteous. This was their claim.
Here they wanted to claim that the son was actually fathered by Naval the Carmelite. What did the Holy One do? He formed the child's features to look exactly like David's face, so that everyone who saw him said: "He is entirely his father," completely resembling his father, just as had been the case with Avraham and Yitzchak. This is the meaning of "Kilav" - kulo av (entirely his father).
Our Sages offered an additional reason: why was he called Kilav? Because he would shame Mefiboshet in halachah. Mefiboshet used to embarrass David in halachah, raising difficult questions against him and bringing refutations, and David's son came and shamed him. At the covenant of circumcision he was named Daniel, and afterward he was called Kilav, because he shamed the one who used to embarrass his father. Incidentally, the name does not appear in Tanach as "Daniel" but as "Dani'el," with a tzeireh under the yud and a silent alef.
Now let us note the Malbim's precise observation. In many places it says "Avigail the wife of Naval the Carmelite," and this is puzzling: what need is there to mention each time that she was Naval's wife? Here we have an explanation. Scripture is explaining to you how we arrived at the situation where his second son was called Kilav, even though his name was Daniel: because everyone was claiming "the wife of Naval the Carmelite," meaning that this son came from Naval, and therefore he had to be called Kilav, since he resembled his father.
And why is it written here "le'Avigal" and not "le'Avigail"? We saw earlier that Avigail had a flaw in her conduct, and therefore Scripture flawed her name. While she was still married to Naval the Carmelite, she cast her bread upon the waters and said to David "and you shall remember your handmaid," meaning: I hope you will remember me in the future, put me on the list, on stand-by. And indeed it came to pass, for David remembered her and took her as a wife. But for a married woman, no matter how wicked her husband may be, there is a flaw in saying to someone "remember me in the future and take me as a wife." Therefore Scripture flawed her name and called her Avigal without a yud, since the yud alludes to the name of Hashem. Nevertheless, God forbid that we belittle her: Avigail possessed the holy spirit and was one of the seven prophetesses, a woman of a lofty and immense spiritual level.
וְהָרְבִיעִי אֲדֹנִיָּה בֶן־חַגִּית וְהַחֲמִישִׁי שְׁפַטְיָה בֶן־אֲבִיטָל׃ - And the fourth, Adoniyah the son of Chaggit, and the fifth, Shefatyah the son of Avital.
וְהַשִּׁשִּׁי יִתְרְעָם לְעֶגְלָה אֵשֶׁת דָּוִד אֵלֶּה יֻלְּדוּ לְדָוִד בְּחֶבְרוֹן׃ - And the sixth, Yitre'am, by Eglah the wife of David. These were born to David in Chevron.
Who is Eglah the wife of David? Rashi says: Eglah is Michal, who was beloved to him, and so it says "had you not plowed with my heifer, you would not have found out my riddle" - "my heifer," that is, she who is as beloved to me as a heifer.
But there is a difficulty here: it is written that Michal the daughter of Shaul had no child until the day of her death, and here it says "and the sixth, Yitre'am, by Eglah." There are two explanations of this. One explanation: she had no child until the day of her death, but on the day of her death she did have one - she gave birth and died, as punishment for having mocked David, as we will see later on. And another explanation: she had no child from that incident until the day of her death, from that incident when she saw David dancing and leaping before the Aron and derided him, but before then she did have children, and Yitre'am was born earlier.
וַיְהִי בִּהְיוֹת הַמִּלְחָמָה בֵּין בֵּית שָׁאוּל וּבֵין בֵּית דָּוִד וְאַבְנֵר הָיָה מִתְחַזֵּק בְּבֵית שָׁאוּל׃ - And it came to pass, while there was war between the house of Shaul and the house of David, that Avner was strengthening himself in the house of Shaul.
As the war intensifies, Avner meanwhile succeeds in gaining a higher and more elevated standing in the house of Shaul, until he becomes the de facto leader. Ish Boshet was essentially a shadow leader, a puppet. This is often the case in all sorts of regimes: there is a strong figure standing behind, running everything, while the leader is merely a puppet who carries out his bidding.
וּלְשָׁאוּל פִּלֶגֶשׁ וּשְׁמָהּ רִצְפָּה בַת־אַיָּה וַיֹּאמֶר אֶל־אַבְנֵר מַדּוּעַ בָּאתָה אֶל־פִּילֶגֶשׁ אָבִי׃ - Now Shaul had a concubine whose name was Ritzpah, daughter of Ayah. And he said to Avner: Why have you gone in to my father's concubine?
Shaul had a concubine whose name was Ritzpah bat Ayah, and we will encounter this name again later on. Avner felt himself to be the continuation of Shaul's path, and it is known that the king's wife is forbidden to a commoner, and likewise the king's concubine is forbidden to a commoner, for an implement that a king has used, no commoner may use. But Avner, who felt himself to be the continuation of the monarchy, saw fit to go in to Shaul's concubine: as if to say, the monarchy rests upon me, I am its continuation. This grieved Ish Boshet, for this is one of the signs of rebellion: you come to my father's concubine, meaning you are declaring that you are the king here. But Ish Boshet did not know what a Pandora's box he had opened, and one could say that he did not fully grasp the situation he was in, that he was in fact a puppet on a string in Avner's hands.
וַיִּחַר לְאַבְנֵר מְאֹד עַל־דִּבְרֵי אִישׁ־בֹּשֶׁת וַיֹּאמֶר הֲרֹאשׁ כֶּלֶב אָנֹכִי אֲשֶׁר לִיהוּדָה הַיּוֹם אֶעֱשֶׂה־חֶסֶד עִם־בֵּית שָׁאוּל אָבִיךָ אֶל־אֶחָיו וְאֶל־מֵרֵעֵהוּ וְלֹא הִמְצִיתִךָ בְּיַד־דָּוִד וַתִּפְקֹד עָלַי עֲוֹן הָאִשָּׁה הַיּוֹם׃ - And Avner was very angry at the words of Ish Boshet, and he said: Am I a dog's head that belongs to Yehudah? Today I do kindness with the house of Shaul your father, with his brothers and his companions, and I have not delivered you into the hand of David, yet you charge me today with a sin concerning the woman.
Avner's argument, according to the Malbim, is this: it befits a king to guard the honor of his officers, even the honor of his lesser officers, who are the men loyal to him and who serve him. And all the more so should he guard the honor of a great officer, the commander of his army who fights against David and his men. Both by virtue of his rank and by virtue of his service, it is fitting to treat him with honor. Yet you disgrace me as though I had two flaws: first, as if I were the head of the dogs, as if I were the one in charge of the kennel, the lowliest rank there could be. And not only that, but you treat me as though it were not even your own kennel, but the kennel of the army of Yehudah, of your enemy the king. Thus you have disgraced me twice over.
And he further says to him: you have acted unwisely, for you are in a situation where you need me and are in my hands. I do kindness with the house of Shaul in that I help and support you, and not only that, but I could have delivered you into David's hand and did not. You are in my hands like clay in the hand of the potter, so how do you dare to do such a thing? This is not wise.
כֹּה־יַעֲשֶׂה אֱלֹהִים לְאַבְנֵר וְכֹה יֹסִיף לוֹ כִּי כַּאֲשֶׁר נִשְׁבַּע יְהֹוָה לְדָוִד כִּי־כֵן אֶעֱשֶׂה־לּוֹ׃ - So may God do to Avner and so may He add to him, for as Hashem swore to David, so shall I do for him.
Avner swears: just as Hashem told David that he would reign, so shall I do for him. That is to say, in what you have just said to me, I see proof from Heaven that it is the will of Hashem that David reign, and from now on I no longer find myself bound to you at all, and I prefer David.
"So may God do to Avner and so may He add" is a form of exaggeration, as if he is cursing himself: may Hashem do a terrible and dreadful thing to me if I do not fulfill my words. This is a fixed expression in the Prophets. And note the precision: a person is not permitted to say something bad about himself, and he should not say "such and such will happen to me," for then he places himself in danger. Therefore he says "so may God do to me and so may He add," that Hashem should do to me woe upon woe, without specifying what, so as not to give an opening to the Satan.
And now see how much a person is captive to his own drives. If today you have reached the conclusion that you should be with David because Hashem swore to him, why did you not reach this conclusion yesterday? The logic of today and the logic of yesterday are in no way different. Rather, yesterday I had an interest, it paid off for me to be with Ish Boshet. Today, when things are not going well with Ish Boshet, I ask where it is worth investing my cards, and suddenly it seems to me that Hashem really did anoint David. And why did it not seem so to you yesterday? It is all a matter of self interest.
This is like something I once said by way of a parable: sometimes a person wants something at home, he wants his wife to agree to a certain matter, and what does he do? He enlists the Creator of the world. And why is the wife not persuaded? Because she senses that you are enlisting the Creator of the world for your own interests. You want to go to a certain place, and suddenly you tell her, "And it is also very important, and I will be able to study there, and I will also gain this and that." She feels that you want to go for entirely different reasons, but in order to get her to agree you have made the Holy One, blessed be He, a partner in the deal. The wife knows what lies behind the words. Therefore a person must be careful not to use arguments of holy matters where they are merely a "supporting witness" for him. State the real reason, and do not turn yourself into a righteous man who seeks out all sorts of spiritual reasons.
לְהַעֲבִיר הַמַּמְלָכָה מִבֵּית שָׁאוּל וּלְהָקִים אֶת־כִּסֵּא דָוִד עַל־יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל־יְהוּדָה מִדָּן וְעַד־בְּאֵר שָׁבַע׃ - to transfer the kingdom from the house of Shaul and to establish the throne of David over Israel and over Yehuda, from Dan to Be'er Sheva.
וְלֹא־יָכֹל עוֹד לְהָשִׁיב אֶת־אַבְנֵר דָּבָר מִיִּרְאָתוֹ אֹתוֹ׃ - And he could no longer answer Avner a word, because he feared him.
Ish Boshet understood that he had gotten himself into trouble, and he is afraid to answer Avner, for he knows that the power lies in his hands: I am in Avner's hands, and if he wishes he can kill me in a single moment.
וַיִּשְׁלַח אַבְנֵר מַלְאָכִים אֶל־דָּוִד תַּחְתָּו לֵאמֹר לְמִי־אָרֶץ לֵאמֹר כָּרְתָה בְרִיתְךָ אִתִּי וְהִנֵּה יָדִי עִמָּךְ לְהָסֵב אֵלֶיךָ אֶת־כָּל־יִשְׂרָאֵל׃ - And Avner sent messengers to David on his own behalf, saying, "Whose is the land?" saying, "Make your covenant with me, and behold, my hand is with you to turn all Israel to you."
Avner does not delay and immediately sends messengers to David. "Whose is the land" means: I swear to you by the One to whom the land belongs. And "on his own behalf" means: from his own location, from his own place he sends to him, and he offers to turn all Israel over to him.
Chazal expound "tachtav" (on his own behalf) differently: that Avner mentioned his own name first in the letter and David's name after it, and for this he was punished. He wrote: "From me, Avner, commander of the army of Israel, to David, king of Israel," and how should he have written? "To David, king of Israel, from me, Avner, commander of the army of Israel." Nevuchadnetzar took three steps back for the honor of Heaven and merited three generations of kingship, while Avner placed his own name first. This is "And he sent messengers to David tachtav": he wrote David below himself, and placed himself first.
The Malbim explains differently: the messengers who were sent were emissaries whom Avner had authorized and to whom he gave all his power. There is a messenger to whom one says: you are doing only courier work, deliver the message, and if they say something come back to me and I will tell you what to do, and you have no authority of your own. In contrast, there is a messenger who is sent with his own authority, with the power to decide and determine. And this is what is written here: he sent messengers "tachtav," meaning he gave them all his power of attorney. And two things he asked of them: first, "Whose is the land" - that you tell David that among us there is a complete and absolute decision as to whom the land belongs, and we accept with a clear determination that the land belongs to David. And second, "Make your covenant with me" - that you be authorized on my behalf to make a covenant with David, and this covenant means "to turn all Israel to you."
וַיֹּאמֶר טוֹב אֲנִי אֶכְרֹת אִתְּךָ בְּרִית אַךְ דָּבָר אֶחָד אָנֹכִי שֹׁאֵל מֵאִתְּךָ לֵאמֹר לֹא־תִרְאֶה אֶת־פָּנַי כִּי אִם־לִפְנֵי הֱבִיאֲךָ אֵת מִיכַל בַּת־שָׁאוּל בְּבֹאֲךָ לִרְאוֹת אֶת־פָּנָי׃ - And he said, "Good, I will make a covenant with you, but one thing I ask of you, namely, you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal daughter of Shaul when you come to see my face."
David hears and cannot but accept an offer better than this: someone comes and offers him all of Israel on a silver platter, without wars and without bloodshed. The war had been growing stronger, and here they tell him there is no need for wars - I am handing them over to you as a gift.
But David was very wise and made a calculation: I do not want to take the kingship as a slave who rebels against his master, not as one who comes and seizes power, not as a revolutionary who staged a coup and grabbed the throne. I want to receive the kingship lawfully. Therefore he says: Bring me Michal daughter of Shaul. The moment I receive Michal, I am the king's son in law, and if I am the king's son in law then I have a rightful claim and it is coming to me, which means that I am coming here lawfully.
Furthermore, David did not want it to appear that Avner came to him as a man who had rebelled against his king. After all, even Avner's arrival is not smooth, and how would it look? Who have you attached to yourself, someone who rebelled against his king and was ungrateful toward him and joined you? As if you had annexed traitors to yourself, and the matter comes about in a dishonorable way. Therefore he says: I ask that you bring me my wife with the permission of your master, so that it will appear as though you came to give me my wife, the one who is rightfully coming to me.
וַיִּשְׁלַח דָּוִד מַלְאָכִים אֶל־אִישׁ־בֹּשֶׁת בֶּן־שָׁאוּל לֵאמֹר תְּנָה אֶת־אִשְׁתִּי אֶת־מִיכַל אֲשֶׁר אֵרַשְׂתִּי לִי בְּמֵאָה עָרְלוֹת פְּלִשְׁתִּים׃ - And David sent messengers to Ish Boshet son of Shaul, saying: Give me my wife Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.
Notice his wisdom: David does not settle matters with the servant behind the master's back. One does not do such a thing, one must settle with the master. Therefore he sends messengers directly to Ish Boshet: As far as I am concerned you are still the king there, and so I ask you to give me my wife, and I do not wish to take her without permission.
And what is the meaning of "whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines"? We saw that Shaul held that the betrothal was a mistaken betrothal, because David had betrothed Michal with a loan and a perutah, and Shaul's intention was on the loan. For David had a loan owed to him by Shaul: Shaul had said that whoever defeats Golyat, "the king will enrich him with great wealth." Shaul held that the betrothal of Merav or Michal was made with that very money the king owed David, and one who betroths with a loan, she is not betrothed. Therefore David comes and says: "I betrothed her to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines" - not on the basis of the loan, but I betrothed her with the intent of a perutah, and the Gemara says that a hundred Philistine foreskins are worth a perutah. And why did Shaul not hold that she is betrothed? Because he held that a hundred Philistine foreskins are not worth even a perutah. And why did David hold that they are worth a perutah? The Gemara says: because they are fit to be fed to a cat. Therefore Shaul gave Michal to Palti son of Layish, since he held that she was not considered married to David.
וַיִּשְׁלַח אִישׁ בֹּשֶׁת וַיִּקָּחֶהָ מֵעִם אִישׁ מֵעִם פַּלְטִיאֵל בֶּן־לָיִשׁ׃ - And Ish Boshet sent and took her from a man, from Paltiel son of Layish.
וַיֵּלֶךְ אִתָּהּ אִישָׁהּ הָלוֹךְ וּבָכֹה אַחֲרֶיהָ עַד־בַּחֻרִים וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו אַבְנֵר לֵךְ שׁוּב וַיָּשֹׁב׃ - And her husband went with her, going and weeping after her as far as Bachurim, and Avner said to him: Go back, and he returned.
What is meant by "from a man, from Paltiel son of Layish"? We saw that the holy Or HaChaim explains the words of Chazal that wherever "ish" (man) is stated it refers to a great person, and even though we find "ish" used also for the wicked, the Or HaChaim points out that when the name is mentioned and "ish" is also mentioned, this is a sign of a righteous man, for if you have already mentioned the name, why do you need to say "ish"? And here it says "from a man, from Paltiel son of Layish."
And why was he called Paltiel? Chazal say: because God delivered him (piltoi Kel) from sin, that he did not come upon Michal. If so, the Gemara asks: why "going and weeping"? Since in any case he did not come upon her, what is he grieving over? Chazal say: he grieves over the mitzvah that departed from his hand, for he had been subduing his inclination. And what is "as far as Bachurim"? That he became like young men (bachurim) who had not tasted the taste of sin. And how did he do it? He thrust a sword between himself and her and said: Whoever engages in this will be stabbed by the sword. And why did he seclude himself with her at all? Because he had no choice, for it was by the king's decree, by Shaul's command, and there was here a matter of danger to life, but to come upon her for a matter of sin he did not come. All this is by way of derash. And by way of the plain meaning, "Bachurim" is the name of a place.
And according to the plain meaning he was indeed married to her and did come upon her, and if so, how was she permitted to David? Because she was compelled: the court had instructed her thus, and the court erred and held that since she was betrothed with a loan she was not betrothed, so it turns out that there was an error here, and since that was so there was here the law of one compelled. And a married woman who was raped is permitted to her husband, unless he is a kohen. Accordingly, "going and weeping" according to the plain meaning is over having to part from his wife, and according to the derash it is over the mitzvah he lost, for each and every day he merited to subdue his inclination and would increase and multiply his reward up to the heavens. And Avner says to him "Go back," and he returns to his place.
The Ben Ish Chai brings, based on the Midrash Avkir, that Rabbi Matya ben Charash was the reincarnation of Paltiel ben Layish, and this is told about him. Rabbi Matya ben Charash was sitting in the beit midrash engaged in Torah, and the radiance of his face resembled the sun and his features were like the ministering angels, because he had never in his life raised his eyes toward a woman. Hear what a lofty level of separation this is: he never once looked at a woman.
Once the Satan passed by and became jealous of him. He said: this client I have never seen with me at all, how is it that he never showed up? I need to deal with him. He said: is it possible that such a man never sinned? He said before the Holy One blessed be He: Master of the world, what is Rabbi Matya ben Charash before You? He wanted to audit his books. He said to him: he is a completely righteous man. He said to Him: give me permission and I will entice him. He said to him: you cannot prevail against him, but even so, go.
He went and appeared to him as a beautiful woman the likes of whom there had never been in the world since the days of Naamah the sister of Tuval Kayin, over whom the Nefilim erred. Understand what level of beauty is being discussed, that the angels were drawn after her, and in such a form she appeared before Rabbi Matya and stood before him. When he saw her, he turned his face backward; she moved to his left, and he turned his face to the right; and she kept turning to every side. Rabbi Matya said: I am afraid that my evil inclination may overpower me and cause me to sin. He called to a student who was serving before him and said to him: go bring me fire and a nail. He brought it to him, and he heated the nail in the fire and placed it in his eyes and blinded himself. See what an astonishing thing - he blinded himself. And when the Satan saw this, even he was shaken and fell backward; even the Satan, of whom it is written that he is full of eyes, was terrified when he saw what he had done to his eyes.
At that moment the Holy One blessed be He called to the angel Refael and said to him: go and heal Matya ben Charash. He came and stood before him. He said to him: who are you? He said to him: Refael, for the Holy One blessed be He sent me to heal your eyes. He said to him: leave me be, what was, was - the matter is finished, I am already blind, and at least from here on we will know that I will not stumble. Refael returned before the Holy One blessed be He and said to Him: thus and thus he said to me. The Holy One blessed be He said to him: go and tell him, I guarantee that the evil inclination will not rule over him. For Rabbi Matya had said to himself: why should he heal me and I come again to a test? And the Holy One blessed be He said to him: I guarantee him from now on that he will have no more testing. Immediately he healed him.
And the Ben Ish Chai says in the name of the kabbalists that Rabbi Matya ben Charash is Paltiel ben Layish, who took Michal daughter of Shaul and thrust a sword between himself and her. And if he was righteous, why did he need to return in reincarnation? Rather, he explains that with all this he should not have kept her with him, and he should have said to King Shaul: I do not want to take her. And if you say it was on account of the honor of the king, well, in a place where there is desecration of God's name one does not give honor to the master, and about this it is said "the women of My people you drive out from their pleasant homes." And even though he did not touch her, in any case against his will he benefited from what he saw, for his eyes fed on what was not his; is it possible that she sat and lay in his house for several years and he did not see her? He benefited from something that was not his. And for this sin he was handed over into the power of the Satan to entice him, and he overpowered his evil inclination, and through this he merited to rectify what he had ruined when he was Palti ben Layish. And it is further written about both of them, about Palti ben Layish and about Rabbi Matya ben Charash, that they are a spark of Yosef the righteous - and it is not for nothing that they merit such an immense privilege.
וּדְבַר־אַבְנֵר הָיָה עִם־זִקְנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לֵאמֹר גַּם־תְּמוֹל גַּם־שִׁלְשֹׁם הֱיִיתֶם מְבַקְשִׁים אֶת־דָּוִד לְמֶלֶךְ עֲלֵיכֶם׃ - And the word of Avner was with the elders of Israel, saying: both yesterday and the day before you were seeking David as king over you.
וְעַתָּה עֲשׂוּ כִּי יְהֹוָה אָמַר אֶל־דָּוִד לֵאמֹר בְּיַד דָּוִד עַבְדִּי הוֹשִׁיעַ אֶת־עַמִּי יִשְׂרָאֵל מִיַּד פְּלִשְׁתִּים וּמִיַּד כָּל־אֹיְבֵיהֶם׃ - And now act, for Hashem said to David, saying: by the hand of David My servant I will save My people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and from the hand of all their enemies.
The crowning of a king depends on two things: that he be acceptable to the people and that he be chosen by God. The first thing - "both yesterday and the day before you were seeking David as king over you," so he is acceptable to you. And the second thing - "for Hashem said to David... by the hand of David My servant I will save My people Israel," so he is chosen by God. And if so, "and now act."
And how astonishing this is: when a person's self-interest connects to something, suddenly he has all the most logical arguments for why it should be done. Suddenly he remembers that the people want David, suddenly he remembers that the Holy One blessed be He said he would be king. And where was all this beforehand, when you went to strengthen yourself and crown Ish Boshet? Rather, as long as the matter runs contrary to my interest, all the facts can be tucked away; and the moment it connects with my interest, suddenly I remember them all and bring them as proof and evidence for my approach - because now it suits me for David to reign.
וַיְדַבֵּר גַּם־אַבְנֵר בְּאָזְנֵי בִנְיָמִין וַיֵּלֶךְ גַּם־אַבְנֵר לְדַבֵּר בְּאָזְנֵי דָוִד בְּחֶבְרוֹן אֵת כָּל־אֲשֶׁר־טוֹב בְּעֵינֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וּבְעֵינֵי כָּל־בֵּית בִּנְיָמִן׃ - And Avner also spoke in the ears of Binyamin, and Avner also went to speak in the ears of David in Chevron all that seemed good to Israel and to the whole house of Binyamin.
It is as though it were written "And Avner spoke also in the ears of Binyamin," with the word "also" moved from its natural place. And why "also" in the ears of Binyamin? Because the members of Binyamin were the harder nut to crack, since they were from the tribe of Shaul. Therefore he first spoke with the elders of Israel, and after obtaining their consent he went to crack the hard nut of the tribe of Binyamin and spoke with them as well. And afterward he went to say to David: my lord the king, it is good and right in their eyes to accept your reign over them.
וַיָּבֹא אַבְנֵר אֶל־דָּוִד חֶבְרוֹן וְאִתּוֹ עֶשְׂרִים אֲנָשִׁים וַיַּעַשׂ דָּוִד לְאַבְנֵר וְלַאֲנָשִׁים אֲשֶׁר־אִתּוֹ מִשְׁתֶּה׃ - And Avner came to David in Chevron, and with him twenty men, and David made a feast for Avner and for the men who were with him.
Avner and twenty men with him come to David to accept his kingship in practice, and David makes a feast for them, to show them that his intention is serious and that he is willing to receive them. And not only does he receive them, but he does not harm them and bears them no grudge for having been Shaul's men. And just as we saw earlier, that King David not only refrained from harming the men of Yavesh Gilad for the kindness they did with Shaul, but praised them, thanked them, and blessed them, so too here he makes them a feast to show that he holds no grudge.
וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְנֵר אֶל־דָּוִד אָקוּמָה וְאֵלֵכָה וְאֶקְבְּצָה אֶל־אֲדֹנִי הַמֶּלֶךְ אֶת־כָּל־יִשְׂרָאֵל וְיִכְרְתוּ אִתְּךָ בְּרִית וּמָלַכְתָּ בְּכֹל אֲשֶׁר־תְּאַוֶּה נַפְשֶׁךָ וַיְשַׁלַּח דָּוִד אֶת־אַבְנֵר וַיֵּלֶךְ בְּשָׁלוֹם׃ - And Avner said to David: I will arise and go and gather all Israel to my lord the king, that they may make a covenant with you, and you shall reign over all that your soul desires. And David sent Avner away, and he went in peace.
Avner says to David: I will go and gather all Israel to you so that they may make a covenant with you. Until now this was a feeling out of the ground, to sense what was happening; now in practice I will go and arrange the coronation ceremony. This was the accepted custom, and so we see later in the book of Melachim, that when they crowned a king they would make a covenant with him, a kind of agreement of terms: what the king takes upon himself and in what the people are obligated toward the king. And afterward "and you shall reign over all that your soul desires," you will be able to reign as you wish.
And Chazal expounded this phrase: how did David merit to be king? Because he reigned "over all that your soul desires." Who is fit to be king over Israel? One who rules over his desires, over his wants, over his inner and spiritual powers, he is the one fit to rule over others as well. But one who is like a windblown leaf, whom every desire drives and pulls from place to place, such a man does not rule over himself, and how can he rule over others? He himself does not take orders from himself, so how can he give orders to someone else? Therefore it was said to him: "and you shall reign over all that your soul desires," if you rule over the desires of your soul, through this you will be able to be king over all Israel.
And to conclude the verse: "And David sent Avner away, and he went in peace (be'shalom)." What is the difference between "be'shalom" and "le'shalom"? "Be'shalom" means with the completeness that is in you, that you have no further ability to add completeness, and who is it that can add no further completeness? A dead man. To a living person one says "go le'shalom," toward peace, that you still have the ability to add peace, that is, completeness. And here it was said to him "be'shalom," and it seems that this harmed him.
Chapter 3 describes the turning point: the war is long, David grows stronger and the house of Shaul grows weaker. Avner's rise to power in the house of Shaul ends in a rift with Ish Boshet over Shaul's concubine, and from this moment Avner "remembers" all the arguments, that the people want David and that Hashem chose David, and from here comes the great moral lesson: how much power self interest has to shape a person's conclusions, and how careful one must be not to enlist the Holy One, blessed be He, in service of our own desires. Standing against this is David's wisdom, that he is unwilling to accept the kingship as a rebel or a revolutionary, but rather by law and in a way of honor, and therefore he demands his wife Michal and turns directly to Ish Boshet and not behind his back. Along the way we met the scoffers of the generation and their claim about Kilav and about Sarah, the name of Avigail, Paltiel ben Layish who set a sword between himself and her and his reincarnation in Rabbi Matya ben Charash who blinded himself against the evil inclination, and the foundation of the entire kingship: "and you shall reign over all that your soul desires," only one who rules over himself is fit to rule over others.