Chapter 13 of Sefer Mishlei opens with the theme of chinuch (education and upbringing): how a "wise son" is formed, and what causes a child to turn into a scorner (letz). From there, King Solomon continues to the power of the mouth: the reward found in the fruit of the mouth, the damage wrought by violence, and the necessity to guard both mouth and lips alike. We will explore the verses in order, accompanied by the commentaries of Rashi, Rabbeinu Yonah, the Vilna Gaon, the Ralbag, and primarily the Malbim.
בֵּן חָכָם מוּסַר אָב וְלֵץ לֹא־שָׁמַע גְּעָרָה׃ - A wise son accepts a father's discipline, but a scorner does not hear rebuke.
Rabbeinu Yonah, and similarly the Vilna Gaon along the same line, explains: If you see a son who is wise, who is not drawn after his heart's desires, know that this is on account of a father's discipline. This is the difference between a wise man and a fool (kesil): a fool may possess great intellect, yet he chases after his heart's desires. The wise person chooses good and rejects evil. And why is he this way? Because his father disciplined him, guided him along an upright path, and did not spare his rod from him. As noted multiple times, a "rod" does not necessarily refer to a whip or a stick, but also the rod of his mouth.
"But a scorner does not hear rebuke": If a son turns out to be a scorner, who is neither wise nor chooses the good, know that this is because he never heard rebuke. As the Ralbag cites regarding Adonijah: "And Adonijah son of Chagit exalted himself, saying, I will be king," and it is said of him, "His father had never displeased him at any time by saying, Why have you done so?" - his father had never rebuked him.
The Vilna Gaon adds: A youth will not receive the good until one disciplines him, and this does not mean physical affliction, but rather drawing him toward the Torah. However, the Gra notes, he would not have degenerated into a scorner had he at least heard rebuke. Even if you did not give him extensive discipline or guidance, and he might not have attained the status of a wise son, at least he would not have fallen to the level of a scorner. Why did he become a scorner? Because he did not hear even a rebuke where rebuke was warranted.
The Gra further explains that a scorner is the polar opposite of a wise man: a wise man is one who studies Torah, whereas a scorner is one who idles away from Torah study. And what is one who neglects Torah called? "A company of scorners" (moshav leitzim) - as the Mishnah states, two who sit together without words of Torah between them are considered a company of scorners. Thus, these stand in direct contrast to one another: a wise son engages in Torah, while a scorner idles away from it.
The Malbim explains: A "wise son" is one who acts in accordance with the laws of wisdom - namely, choosing good and rejecting evil. This is extremely difficult for a person because it runs contrary to his nature: the body's natural inclination is to seek pleasures and desires and to indulge in this world. Therefore, the challenge of despising those desires, overcoming bodily nature, and granting dominance to the soul is immense.
How can a person succeed in this? In the Malbim's words: The mental imagery of desires brings forth thistles upon the soil of the soul. The soul is like land prepared for planting, but man cultivates within it mental images of cravings - lust for wealth, gluttony, illicit desires, and the like - all of which cause thorns to sprout within his soul. What must be done? One must cleanse the soul of these thoughts through musar (discipline). The word "musar" shares a root with "yisurim" (chastisements or suffering); it informs him of the severe suffering awaiting one who pursues his heart's desires and strays from the paths of wisdom. It is awe and reverence (yirah) that disciplines the soul, which is why it is consistently classified under the category of chastisement.
The Steipler writes that part of what a parent must discuss with a child is to explain that there is such a thing as reward and punishment, and that there is such a thing as Gehinom. There is no need for overly graphic, harsh descriptions, but a child should be aware from a young age that there is Gan Eden and there is Gehinom: the Holy One, blessed is He, gives a good reward to one who overcomes his desires, yields to others, and is accommodating, whereas there is punishment, Heaven forbid, for one who lies or behaves improperly. Even here, this must be done prudently: not invoking it for every little thing, but reminding the child from time to time - say, once a month - that there is good reward and there is punishment. This instills reverence in a person's heart.
And so the Malbim explains: when a father gives discipline and is privileged to see his son emerge wise, it is a sign that the discipline bore fruit. The son accepted the lessons and cast off the bodily lusts to which human nature naturally gravitates - and as a result of what? The father's discipline. But as for a son who never heard a rebuke from his father in all his days - do not think that he merely will not be wise, saying, "No big deal, he just won't be a tzaddik." That is not the case. Such a son will grow up to be a scorner. One who never heard a rebuke will not only fail to accept the rules of wisdom, but will actively mock them.
מִפְּרִי פִי־אִישׁ יֹאכַל טוֹב וְנֶפֶשׁ בֹּגְדִים חָמָס׃ - From the fruit of a man's mouth he will eat good, but the soul of traitors desires violence.
Rashi explains: What is "the fruit of a man's mouth"? It is the fruit that a person produces with his mouth, meaning Torah study, as in "Open your mouth and your words will shine." "From the fruit of a man's mouth" - meaning from the reward for his Torah study - he will eat good in this world, while the principal remains intact for him in the World to Come. "And the soul of traitors is violence" - "soul" (nefesh) denotes desire and will, as in "if it is your desire" (Bereishit 23:8), which means your will. And what is the desire and sole craving of traitors? Violence: how to rob this one, how to take from that one, how to cut corners and scheme.
Rabbeinu Yonah explains that this verse continues the previous one. "A wise son heeds his father's discipline" - the son becomes wise through the father's discipline, and similarly here: "from the fruit of a man's mouth" - whose fruits are the words of discipline and rebuke he offers to others so they change their ways - "he will eat good," and the reward of rebuke remains with him. "And the soul of traitors is violence" - the craving of traitors is violence, and Rabbeinu Yonah asks: How can they rebuke their children when their entire desire is violence? First, someone whose sole craving is violence will not discipline his son when he sees him acting violently. Second, even if he does discipline him, words that do not come from the heart do not enter the heart. You practice violence, yet you tell your son that you don't want him to be like you?
It is well known from reports on underworld figures that crime bosses almost never want their children to follow in their footsteps. Such a person knows full well how much danger there is in what he does, and how many underhanded schemes and how dirty the world is in which he operates, so he prefers that his children not follow his path. But will that help him? Rabbeinu Yonah says: no. Because when you give him rebuke, the son sees that these words do not come from the heart, since he knows you do the exact opposite.
There was once a story of a man who was careless about netilat yadayim; he ate without washing and made light of the matter, yet he wanted to raise his son to be righteous. He told him: "What is this? You didn't wash your hands? Get up quickly and wash; in our house, we don't eat without washing hands!" One day the son ate without washing, and the father decided that he who spares his rod hates his son. He brought a stick, grabbed his son's hand, placed it over his own hand, and began to strike. As the blow was landing, the son pulled his hand away, and the strike landed directly on the father's hand. The son, who was evidently a bit insolent, said to him: "Father, it seems to me that the right hand received the blow." Meaning: How can you rebuke me for something that you yourself do not observe? How do you expect me to accept your words?
Therefore, "the soul of traitors is violence": a treacherous person will never be able to rebuke others for their corrupt deeds, since his own desire, soul, and craving are violence, and no one will accept his rebuke. In contrast, the upright person - "from the fruit of a man's mouth he will eat good" - will enjoy good from the reward of his rebuke, because he is genuinely upright and his words are accepted.
The Vilna Gaon explains: The fruits of a righteous person's deeds are preserved for him in the World to Come, since the primary place for receiving reward is the World to Come. When does he receive reward in this world? When he is also good to people. In that case, the principal remains intact for him in the World to Come, but he already begins to consume the fruits here.
According to this: "From the fruit of a man's mouth" - "man" (ish) refers to the righteous person, as in "Noah was a righteous man (ish tzaddik), blameless," and the primary fruit comes from Torah study. "He will eat" - when? "Good" - only if he is good, and "good" means good to fellow human beings. When he is good to people, he receives fruits already in this world. And if he is not good to people, it does not mean he is wicked, God forbid, for we are speaking of a righteous man, but rather that he does not engage in loving-kindness and keeps entirely to himself.
"But the soul of the treacherous craves violence" - the treacherous will consume the violence (chamas) that is in their mouths. And what is this chamas? There is a form of violence known as chimous devarim, verbal aggression. We have already mentioned the Midrash concerning Noah's generation: "For the earth is filled with violence (chamas)." The Midrash asks: the robbers certainly deserved their fate, but what about those who were robbed? Was it not enough that they were robbed and wronged, that they should also perish in the Flood along with the perpetrators? Rather, even the victim was filled with chamas: verbal abuse, as he would revile and blaspheme. Someone stepped on your little toe, and you scream at the top of your lungs as if he severed your leg! That is called chimous devarim, verbal outrage, and through it you, too, are wicked. What he did maliciously was wicked, and what you did was wicked as well. Someone caused you harm? There must be some proportion between the harm done and the uproar you make.
Such a person is full of violence, meaning verbal outrage, and he is bad to people. And whoever is bad to people suffers the consequences right here in this world. Just as the righteous person who is good to people eats the fruit of his goodness here, because it is goodness toward mankind and not only goodness toward Heaven - and whenever one is good to people, he consumes its fruits in this world - so too the wicked person who is bad to people consumes his wickedness here, as it is written: "Woe to the wicked, it shall be ill with him, for the reward of his hands shall be done to him" - the reward of his own hands, what he has dealt out to himself, that is what he eats.
And why does it say, "and the soul of the treacherous," rather than simply "and the treacherous, violence"? Because the primary weight of verbal aggression affects the soul (nefesh), meaning in the World to Come. Here he is only given a small portion of the fruit, so that you do not think: "Well, I have already received my punishment here for the violence I committed, and that is the end of it." Not at all. The principal remains intact against you in the World to Come for all the violence you perpetrated. Here, you were merely paid dividends, just the fruits. The losses inflicted on you as a consequence of that violence occur only in this world, but the main penalty awaits in the World to Come. Therefore it says, "the soul of the treacherous": the primary punishment will arrive when one exists purely as a soul, in the World to Come.
Ralbag offers a very interesting explanation here, which we have previously explained regarding other verses and which he applies here as well. It is well known that when a person learns something, he attains a certain level of comprehension, but when he explains what he learned to someone else, he achieves a far deeper, more inward, and more comprehensive understanding. Notice this: a person reads a novel Torah insight and wants to share it for the first time. At first he stumbles, he does not remember precisely, and sometimes he needs to open the book to check the exact wording. Once he has spoken it aloud to his friend, first and foremost, he himself understands it. Suddenly he realizes that he had not fully grasped what he read! The other person begins to ask: "Wait, how can that be?" And he replies: "True, let us look at the book. Ah, you are right, it says here that..." What happened? You began to express the ideas verbally, and the matter began to clarify itself. You then realize that through reading with one's eyes alone, the subject remains insufficiently clear.
This is the meaning of "From the fruit of a man's mouth he eats good": when a person gives voice to concepts with his mouth, his inquiry into them and contemplation of them become far more complete. "And the soul of the treacherous is violence" - all of their thoughts and contemplation are focused on how to perpetrate violence. Notice that it does not say, "and the mouth of the treacherous is violence." Why is "mouth" omitted? Because the treacherous conceal and disguise their intentions, never revealing their plans; therefore it is not in their mouth but remains inside their soul, held within. The righteous person, by contrast, gives voice to words of wisdom and righteousness, and through this he perfects himself in them, delves deeper, and attains ever higher insights.
The Malbim notes that we encountered a similar verse earlier (12:14): "From the fruit of a man's mouth he shall be satisfied with good," whereas here it says "he shall eat good." First, he explains: the mouth corresponds to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. There are three categories among the organs of speech: mouth (peh), lip (safah), and tongue (lashon), and these expressions appear frequently throughout Mishlei and the Scriptures: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue," "He removes the speech of the trustworthy and takes away the discernment of elders," "O Lord, open my lips," "From the fruit of a man's mouth he shall eat good." A superficial reader might think this is merely poetic repetition using different words, but the Malbim always delves into linguistic distinctions and their precise subtleties: the mouth symbolizes chochmah (wisdom), the lip symbolizes da'at (knowledge), and the tongue symbolizes binah (understanding). Elsewhere, he elaborates on how each specific term is deliberate and precise, illuminating numerous verses through this principle.
"From the fruit of a man's mouth" - from the fruits of the man, which are the produce of the lips directed by the tongue, and this fruit is the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. There are two paths within wisdom, for a wise person, as we have explained, is one who chooses the good and rejects the evil. There is pride versus humility, compassion versus cruelty, and the wise person chooses the path of humility and compassion. And how does one govern these character traits? Through wisdom - knowing when to employ one and when to employ the other. One who acts this way eats from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil by taking the good and leaving the evil behind. But the treacherous person uses his traits in a manner contrary to wisdom, and therefore from the fruit of his mouth he consumes only violence. The mouth represents wisdom, and through wisdom one must choose between good and evil; yet he does not choose the good, but rather consumes the evil portion, seizing the negative aspect, and turning all of his traits toward evil.
For every character trait can be used for good or for evil. The Creator endowed every human being with the trait of cruelty, and for what purpose? To be ruthless toward the wicked. Thus it says, "Do not be overly righteous." It is recounted of King Saul that he spared and took pity on Agag, when he was forbidden to show him mercy, whereas regarding Samuel it is written, "and he cut him in pieces," slaying him without pity. Cruelty exists as a trait, and the only question is where to apply it. The righteous person knows how to utilize cruelty in the appropriate places and compassion in the appropriate places, whereas the wicked person turns everything upside down: where he ought to show mercy he acts cruelly, and where he ought to be unyielding he shows misplaced mercy.
A classic example of this was discussed at length previously, and it bears repeating briefly: those bleeding hearts who felt so much pity for the dogs and cats that lost their homes in Gush Katif, yet lacked a shred of compassion for the people who were expelled from their homes - some of whom remain in temporary housing and trailers to this day. It did not really concern them: "Why did they move there? That is their problem, and why on earth should they receive compensation?" How does one become so cruel? Whoever shows mercy to the cruel, to animals, or to Palestinians, will ultimately become cruel to his Jewish brethren.
Thus, explains the Malbim, the treacherous person, who does not follow the path of wisdom, walks the path of injustice (chamas) - and chamas is wickedness, whether in character traits or in monetary matters. He uses good traits to benefit the wicked, and bad traits to harm the righteous, turning the proper order on its head. "And the soul of the treacherous is violence" - his entire desire and concern is to misuse the good faculties he was granted for evil. The righteous person, on the other hand, "from the fruit of a man's mouth he shall eat good"; through the fruit, through wisdom, he takes only the good portion and chooses virtuous traits rather than negative ones.
The Malbim further explains, according to the plain meaning (peshat), the distinction between "shall be satisfied with good" mentioned earlier and "shall eat good" here. Satiety is spoken of when a person speaks words of Torah and prayer, whereas here Scripture is speaking of worldly speech and material affairs, in which one must also be exceedingly careful not to profane the utterance of his lips, and then he will "eat good."
Satiety always denotes the satisfaction of the soul, as in the verse, "and satisfy your soul in drought," for true satisfaction is an attribute of the soul. The physical body is never truly satisfied; it always craves more and more, and a person will never say, "I have fulfilled all my desires and I am done" - he always seeks more. Satiety is spoken of only in spiritual matters. Eating, on the other hand, indicates having enough to eat well, which pertains to worldly affairs and material matters: there, too, one must guard the utterance of his mouth properly. In spiritual matters, however, from the fruit of the mouth in Torah and prayer, the soul is truly filled, "satisfied with good." Here, in material matters, it is only a matter of "eating" - having enough to eat well. But the treacherous person, who does not keep faith, his soul will devour injustice, and all he will receive from it is an evil portion.
נֹצֵר פִּיו שֹׁמֵר נַפְשׁוֹ פֹּשֵׂק שְׂפָתָיו מְחִתָּה־לוֹ׃ - He who guards his mouth preserves his soul; he who opens wide his lips brings ruin upon himself.
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: One who guards his mouth, opening it only when there is consent from the heart - when the heart confirms that the words are fit to be spoken - preserves his soul and rescues it from all manner of trouble. But one who "opens wide his lips," whose lips act independently with free rein, failing to evaluate beforehand what they are about to utter and immediately blurting out whatever tickles the tip of his tongue - what of him? It is "ruin (mechitah) to him." According to Rabbeinu Yonah, mechitah stems from the concept of dread, as in "the terror (chitat) of God was upon them," and like "made without fear (chat)." A person who opens his lips thoughtlessly must live in dread, for who knows what catastrophe may result from his words? One's lips are no less dangerous than his enemies: if one does not watch what leaves his mouth, they can cause no less harm than an enemy can inflict, and one must genuinely fear what those lips are capable of doing.
The Vilna Gaon connects this to the preceding verse: After stating that the soul of the treacherous consumes the violence of their mouth and is punished for it, the verse follows by teaching that one who guards his mouth preserves his soul and will not be among the harmed. In particular, the Gra explains that the mouth serves as a safeguard for the entire soul. The works of the Kabbalists teach that when a person becomes angry, his holy soul departs from him, and he is given, Heaven forbid, a soul from the Sitra Achra (the "other side"), an impure soul. This is the meaning of "he tears his soul in his anger" - he makes his soul like prey, torn and defiled. Hence it is said, "Guard your mouth from every sin," whereby you sanctify and purify yourself from all iniquity.
On the other hand, one who does not guard his mouth, "he who opens wide his lips brings ruin upon himself." One who broadens his lips and speaks without carefully choosing his words, even if he possesses a noble soul, performs many mitzvot, and observes many protective fences, his mouth will bring ruin to everything and undo all that he has achieved. For the holy Ari writes that even if a person repented for all his sins with the utmost perfection, yet subsequently became angry, he nullifies thereby all the rectifications he had accomplished - to the extent that his holy soul is torn away and replaced with a soul from the Sitra Achra. What, then, is the ruin of everything, what causes the fracture and ruins all accomplishments? One who opens wide his lips, paying no heed to his mouth, losing his temper, and uttering inappropriate speech.
The Malbim explains this based on a principle we have noted many times: the lip represents external speech, just as the lips are on the outside, while the mouth represents internal, intellectual, and wise speech. Likewise, there is a distinction between shomer (one who guards) and notzer (one who watches over): shomer denotes ordinary guarding, whereas notzer refers to superior, meticulous, and constant vigilance.
The Malbim portrays the mouth and the lips as walls, just as Chazal describe: the Holy One, blessed be He, placed two walls around the soul so that enemies would not draw near. The inner wall is the mouth, and the outer wall is the lips. And not only must one guard the outer wall - the lips - so that they do not speak without wisdom and logic, or utter improper things, but one must also watch over the mouth.
What does this mean? The lips express external speech, mundane and physical matters, for a person must inevitably speak about worldly affairs. The mouth, however, expresses the inner dimension, the higher realms of speech: words of Torah, words of mussar, and words of awe. The Malbim tells us: it is not enough to guard the lips so that mundane conversations do not deteriorate into forbidden speech, insults, lashon hara, talebearing, flattery, and mockery; one must also watch over the mouth. That is, even when speaking words of wisdom, Torah, and mussar, there too your words should be few, for "God is in heaven and you are on earth." In simple terms: choose your words carefully even in matters of Torah and holiness.
And as the Tanna taught: "Sages, be careful with your words," lest the disciples hear, misunderstand, and be exiled to a place of evil waters. And there, it was referring even to words of Torah: Antigonus of Socho taught that one should serve the Master not for the sake of receiving a reward, and disciples misunderstood, concluding that there is no reward at all - so why serve? Yet he meant that the inner goal of divine service is to bring nachat ruach to Hashem, rather than merely seeking a reward. Here is a clear example showing that even when speaking words of Torah, you must choose your words carefully, keep your words few, and pay close attention to what you say.
Through this, "he guards his soul" - he protects the soul guarded by its two protective walls, the mouth and the lips. But for "one who opens wide his lips," which represent external speech, the mundane talk of physical matters, "it is ruin for him." Mechitah (ruin), the Malbim explains, is the opposite of strength and a fortress, the opposite of something fortified and protected; rather, it denotes vulnerability and abandon. One who opens wide his lips brings ruin upon himself, and his body too will suffer damage; he will be thoroughly harmed because he has no restraint over his lips in worldly matters. And what does poshek mean? It implies opening in a disgraceful manner, as in "and you spread (vatipashki) your feet." "One who opens wide his lips" refers to speaking derogatory words: the external lips, which should only be used for necessary worldly affairs, are exploited for shameful speech, and this will inevitably bring him harm.
The chapter opened with chinuch: a wise son is the fruit of a father's discipline, clearing the thistles of desire from the soil of his soul, while one who has never listened to rebuke will not only fail to become wise, but will grow into a scorner who mocks the laws of wisdom. From there, Shlomo turned to the mouth: the fruit of the righteous person's mouth, whether in Torah or in rebuke, sustains him in this world while the principal remains intact for the World to Come, especially when he is good to his fellow man. The treacherous person, however, whose entire soul is violence, consumes his violence here, and the brunt of his judgment is reserved for the World to Come; nor does he possess the power to rebuke his children, for his words do not emanate from the heart. And finally, we learned the secret of the two walls: one who watches over his mouth and lips, speaks sparingly even in matters of Torah, and guards against anger and coarse speech, thereby protects his soul. But one who opens wide his lips leaves himself exposed, destroying with his mouth all that he has built.
Let us always remember: the mouth is the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and it is in a person's hands to choose whether to eat good or violence from it.