We arrive at the final three verses of the Eshet Chayil hymn, which also mark the conclusion of the entire Book of Mishlei. These three verses are the heart of the matter: they define what a woman is truly praised for, what her reward is, and who praises her. We will follow the approach of the Malbim, then add the insights of the Vilna Gaon, and conclude with several fundamental principles regarding the very structure of the Eshet Chayil hymn arranged according to the Hebrew alphabet.
רַבּוֹת בָּנוֹת עָשׂוּ חָיִל וְאַתְּ עָלִית עַל כֻּלָּנָה׃ - Many daughters have done valiantly, but you have surpassed them all.
The Malbim explains: "Many daughters have done valiantly" - many women amass wealth and valor for their household, as we have seen throughout the hymn, "She makes a garment and sells it" and the like. Yet in your case, there was something more, in which you surpassed them all. And in what did you surpass them all? The Malbim connects this praise to what follows: in that with you, "Grace is deceitful and beauty is vain." You did not take pride in charm or beauty, but rather "a woman who fears Hashem, she shall be praised" - this is what you took pride in: fear of Heaven and the service of Hashem, not external beauty.
From this the verse continues, "Give her of the fruit of her hands" - through this she receives the fruits of her deeds in the World of Reward. Then it is no longer only "her husband, and he praises her," but "her deeds praise her in the gates" - there, on High, everyone will praise her for her deeds, not merely within her home. For earlier it was said, "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband, and he praises her," because they are the ones who truly witness all of her virtues inside the home.
One may further add: after her passing, her good deeds come to light, her acts of chesed become known, and then even "in the gates" - meaning even here in this world - it suddenly becomes clear what a righteous woman lived among us. During her lifetime, after all, she carried herself with modesty and concealed her deeds; therefore, those who praised her were only her children and husband, who were inside the house. She concealed her deeds, but in the future her good deeds will be revealed, and everyone will realize how righteous she truly was.
The Malbim adds an allegorical explanation, following the approach we have pursued throughout the hymn, wherein the woman of valor is the soul. When the soul possesses refined character traits, it does not oppose the intellect. By nature, the intellect is drawn toward Torah while the soul is drawn toward desires; yet when the soul is an "eshet chayil," it assists the intellect in leading the person in the service of Hashem.
Accordingly: "Many daughters have done valiantly" - there are many souls that perfected themselves and assisted the intellect in serving their Creator. "But you have surpassed them all" - you are superior to them all, to the extent that everything the other souls achieved, charm and beauty, is considered deceit and vanity compared to the true spiritual heights you attained. And in what do you take praise? In being "a woman who fears Hashem" - through the fear of Hashem you attained Ruach HaKodesh, and through it drew many close and brought them to teshuvah. As Chazal said: "Grace is deceitful" refers to the generation of Moshe; "and beauty is vain" refers to the generation of Chizkiyahu; along with several other homilies that likewise return to the matter of souls: those special, refined souls were like vanity and deceit compared to the spiritual attainments you reached. Therefore, "Give her of the fruit of her hands" - she will receive an immense reward for her merit of having brought merit to the public; "and let her deeds praise her in the gates" - there, on High, that soul will merit that her name endure as a blessing and a glory, by virtue of the wisdom she acquired, the mitzvot she performed, and the chesed she did, and through this she will be praised eternally.
In a witty vein, the question is raised: How can Shlomo say, "Many daughters have done valiantly," when he himself stated, "One man among a thousand have I found, but a woman among all these have I not found"? A valiant man, a servant of Hashem, one who is God-fearing and has refined character traits - one in a thousand have I found; yet a woman among all these I did not find. But here, suddenly, "Many daughters have done valiantly" - how can you say you found many, if you said you could not find even one?
And lest we be suspected of chauvinism, we should mention that the exact same dynamic exists with boys. Someone once asked a rosh yeshiva: Who is the most diligent student (matmid) in the yeshiva? Who is the prodigy (illui)? He answered them: I do not know; let us wait until this evening to see who gets engaged, and then we will know. When a young man gets engaged, he instantly becomes "the top matmid of the yeshiva," the illui, the master scholar - every compliment under the sun. Clearly, excessive praise is not showered only upon the daughters before marriage; the young man is likewise crowned with every virtue while he is a groom, and then let us see him live up to all the expectations set before him.
And another witty answer: from the outset, there is no contradiction at all. Indeed, "A woman among all these I have not found," and as for you who asked from the verse, "Many daughters have done valiantly, and you have surpassed them all" - you stopped in the middle! Read on: "Many daughters have done valiantly, and you have surpassed them all - false [sheker]"...
שֶׁקֶר הַחֵן וְהֶבֶל הַיֹּפִי אִשָּׁה יִרְאַת ה' הִיא תִתְהַלָּל׃ - Grace is deceptive and beauty is vain; a woman who fears Hashem, she shall be praised.
A woman of charm and a woman of physical beauty - all that she is praised for is vanity and falsehood. What is the true praise worthy of being said about a woman? "A woman who fears Hashem." To praise her for her fear of Heaven - that is true praise.
By the way, there is a fundamental principle of chinuch here: we motivate a child according to the praise we give them. If you constantly praise a boy or girl by saying, "How handsome you are," or "How pretty you are" - the child will feel a continuous urge to invest in external appearance so as to be praised for it. But if we praise her for her character traits, for her conduct, for her fear of Heaven, for doing well on a test, and the like - that is where the child will see value in investing effort, since that is what earns the compliments.
Therefore, to a daughter who is dressed nicely, we should say, "That dress looks nice on you," rather than "You are pretty." Why stimulate her desire to emphasize her physical beauty? Similarly, we should not tell a boy, "You are handsome," lest he begin curling his hair and focusing on his looks; we should tell him, "The suit fits you well," or "You look dignified." We should choose words that do not incite an urge to obsess over external beauty. And that is what the verse means: "Grace is deceptive and beauty is vain" - there is no point in praising grace and beauty; rather, "A woman who fears Hashem, she shall be praised."
The Vilna Gaon explains that chen (grace or favor) is related to the word chinam (free, unearned). This is why Scripture always uses the language of finding: "I have found favor [chen]," "And Noach found favor [chen]" - a found object costs nothing; you did not pay for it. One who possesses charm received it freely. This also indicates that the person is not necessarily truly attractive, as we find with Esther: "And Esther obtained favor [chen] in the eyes of all who beheld her." Chazal said that she was not actually beautiful, but rather had a greenish complexion - there is a dispute among Chazal about this, but one opinion states that she was greenish, except that a thread of grace and kindness was drawn over her. Chen is not necessarily related to physical beauty; when someone appeals to us, we say "they have charm," which does not mean they are beautiful.
Therefore, the Vilna Gaon says: Chen indicates that the person is not truly beautiful, which is why it is called "sheker hachein" (grace is deceptive) - to say such a person is beautiful is false, because in truth there is no physical splendor; it is merely that they find favor in my eyes. Beauty, however, is genuinely beautiful, and regarding that one cannot call it a lie. True, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as is well known in shidduchim, where what looks attractive to one person does not look attractive to another, and sometimes someone sees the person and realizes it is not what they expected. But when dealing with objective beauty, I cannot call it a lie, for it is a reality; therefore, Scripture says "hevel hayofi" (beauty is vain) - I do not dispute the facts, but rather say that it has no substance and is worth nothing.
The Vilna Gaon further explains: We find three types of women - a woman of charm, a woman who is beautiful but devoid of good sense, and a woman of intellect. The first two possess deficiencies: "Grace is deceitful," "beauty is vain"; and the woman of intellect represents "a woman who fears Hashem." Fair of appearance - that is charm; beautiful of form - that is beauty; and fear of Hashem - that is the aspect of intellect. And regarding the fair of appearance and form it is said: "Grace is deceitful and beauty is vain."
The Vilna Gaon adds and demonstrates this in the verse regarding Adam: "Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for from Man was this one taken." Note that there are three doubled phrases here: "bone of my bones" is doubled, "flesh of my flesh" is doubled, "woman from man" is doubled - yielding six aspects. And this is the secret of "Bereishit," which Chazal expounded as "bara shit" (He created six) - shit in Aramaic being six.
Corresponding to this, it is said: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches; but let him that glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me." Charm, beauty, might, wealth, and wisdom - all are vanity and deceit; the essential thing is "let him that glories glory in this - that he understands and knows Me." And this is the aspect of the woman of intellect who fears Hashem. Therefore, when Adam received his wife, he said, "This one [lezot] shall be called Woman" - the "zot" of the woman corresponds to the "bezot" of man, to understand and know Me, and this is her true and great virtue.
תְּנוּ לָהּ מִפְּרִי יָדֶיהָ וִיהַלְלוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶׂיהָ׃ - Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
The Vilna Gaon explains: Torah is the principal that endures for the World to Come, while the fruits are in this world, in the words of the Tanna, "and eats of their fruits in this world." Even so, it is fitting for a person not to partake of the fruits in this world, but to leave the fruits as well for the World to Come. Why pluck the fruits here and consume them, when you can preserve them for there?
This is what is said of the woman of valor: "From the fruit of her palms she planted a vineyard" - she takes the fruits and turns them into principal. To illustrate with a parable: you have a savings plan containing ten thousand shekels, and each year you receive one thousand shekels from it. I could withdraw that thousand and enjoy it - that is the fruit, and the principal remains ten thousand. But I can also add that thousand back into the principal, so that the principal grows; rather than consuming the fruits and enjoying them, I return them and make them part of the principal. So it is with the woman of valor: regarding the fruits she was entitled to enjoy in this world, she says - Master of the Universe, I do not wish to enjoy them here; I plant a vineyard from them, reinvesting them to become part of the principal.
Therefore, "Give her of the fruit of her hands" - what is given to her in the World to Come? Not only the principal, but also the fruits. Those very fruits she was entitled to receive here, which she forgave, are given to her there, in the realm of true reward. "And let her works praise her in the gates" - the gatekeepers praise her at the gates of Gan Eden.
The Vilna Gaon explains further: The novel insights (chiddushim) a person innovates in Torah are called the fruits of Torah. There is the Torah itself, and there is the fruit - when one resolves an apparent contradiction between one halachah and another and deduces a novel ruling according to the true depth of Torah, that is a fruit, for something beyond the explicit Torah text has now emerged. The Torah is the deeds themselves, and the fruits are the novel Torah insights.
And this is the continuation of the verse: "and let her works praise her in the gates." Seemingly, after having already said "Give her of the fruit of her hands," what has been added? When one innovates in Torah, one learns additional halachot from it, drawing out matters beyond what is explicitly written, and from these chiddushim new deeds are born that did not exist before. Those deeds are exceedingly sweet, for they are the fruit of deep analysis, study, and pilpul. Therefore, "Give her of the fruit of her hands," and consequently, "let her works praise her in the gates" - and who are the gates? The Torah scholars, the "gates distinguished in Halachah," and they praise her deeds, for all her deeds are meticulously aligned with Halachah and din, emerging from those novel Torah insights that one studied and contemplated, and from which one derived the halachot by which he conducts himself.
Here we have effectively concluded Sefer Mishlei and the hymn of Eshes Chayil. However, it is worthwhile to add an insight into the very arrangement of the hymn according to the alef-beis, and through it resolve an additional question. The Midrash notes that Eshes Chayil is structured according to the order of the alef-beis: "Eshes chayil mi yimtza" - alef, "Batach bah leiv ba'alah" - beis, "Gemalathu tov velo ra" - gimmel, and so forth. And the Midrash in Yalkut Shimoni at the end of Mishlei states: Just as the Holy One, blessed be He, gave the Torah to Israel with twenty-two letters, so too He praises righteous women with twenty-two letters.
The meaning of this is: Educating a daughter of Israel to be an eshes chayil is a complete Torah discipline. When something is arranged according to the order of the alef-beis, it signifies that it is orderly and systematic, not off-the-cuff - there is alef, followed by beis, followed by gimmel. Twenty-two letters, twenty-two praises for this eshes chayil. When educating in a Torah way, educating toward fear of Heaven, one educates according to those very parameters - an orderly and systematic education toward all those virtues of an eshes chayil. This is why we praise and recite, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue," "She anticipates the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness" - the entire song of Eshes Chayil comes to express the great stature of a woman who walks in the way of Hashem.
And notice: when she walks in the way of Hashem, this itself is the woman's Torah. A man has the mitzvah of Talmud Torah; a woman is exempt from the study of Torah. From her perspective, once she knows all her halachos, she has fulfilled her obligation. After all, Chazal state, "Whoever teaches his daughter Torah, it is as though he taught her frivolity." And what is required of her? To perform her responsibilities with proper devotion.
And why is this so important? Because one comes at the expense of the other. For a woman who delves deeply into complex intellectual analysis, household tasks become trivial in her eyes: "Am I supposed to deal with diapers? With baking? Whatever you study, I study too." And unfortunately, there are circles in which a woman lives in a perpetual state of inferiority: "If I am not doing what he is doing, then I am lesser than he is," and therefore she constantly feels the need to prove that she too knows and she too is capable. But who asks this of you? Each has a distinct role. If a pilot tomorrow wants to drive a tank, or a tank crewman decides to fly a plane - setting aside the question of what their fate would be, even if they survived they would be charged with dereliction of duty: Why did they invest years in teaching you to fly? Why did they invest years in training you on a tank? Everyone must know their place and their responsibilities.
And to think that what you do is less than what your husband does - that in itself is an unwarranted feeling of inferiority. After all, a woman has a full share in her husband's Torah study, and not just a partial share: "Carefree women," the Gemara says - even if the husband came to the shiur and fell asleep, she receives her reward in full; his share might be reduced, but she sent him to learn Torah, and therefore her share is complete. This is what the twenty-two letters of the alef-beis tell us: an eshes chayil's management of her home is a Torah way of life, and through it she merits Torah no less than the husband.
Hence, any view of a woman as inferior is a distortion born of movements whose outlook is far removed from the Torah. And not only are they far from the Torah, but they have harmed women far more than they have helped. Reality proves it: in the wake of those movements, women went out to work and do everything men do, but that did not prevent them from also having to do everything at home. Her doing the man's work does not mean the man will change diapers tomorrow. And so she is expected to be "superwoman": working outside, returning home, and managing to keep the house clean, tidy, and running properly - while in ninety-eight percent of cases, the husband does not take this upon himself. "You work? I work too," and he does not feel that he must share equally in all household duties.
Of course, if she is fortunate and her husband devotes himself to household matters, Baruch Hashem. A story is told of someone who was walking with a friend when the friend's wife called. The friend told her: "Hello Sarah, listen, are you turning on the water heater now? I don't want it to be like yesterday, when I came home to cold water." His companion told him: "My friend, I see you manage things at home!" He replied: "Of course - I can't stand washing dishes in cold water..."
Usually, however, we know the reality: the husband does not naturally gravitate toward domestic chores. And what is the result? She was told, "You can do just like your husband," so she feels unfulfilled at home and feels compelled to go outside - and this does not refer to someone working out of financial necessity, but to someone who feels she must pursue a career for its own sake. She was told: "You must do just like him; you are not inferior to him." They thought they were doing her a favor, but the career did not relieve her of the housework, leaving her facing two fronts - pleasing her husband and pleasing her boss, while submitting all assignments on time. Did they help her or harm her? In practice, we see that the entire drive to emulate men has only caused harm. The Torah, however, tells us: Eshes Chayil embodies the twenty-two letters of the Torah; what you do is Torah, no less than your husband's. A person's true greatness lies in each knowing their place and their role, and fulfilling it properly.
There is an additional lesson here. Every day we recite "Ashrei yoshvei veisecha," and everyone knows it is structured according to the alef-beis, but not many notice that one letter is missing there - the letter nun. The Gemara in Berachos 4b addresses this: in "Tehillah LeDavid" there is no verse beginning with the letter nun. We do have the letter pei - "Potei'ach es yadecha umasbia lechol chai ratzon" ("You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing") - and it is solely because of this verse that we recite Ashrei three times a day. By the way, many recite Ashrei without paying proper attention to this specific verse, rushing past it, yet if one recited it without proper intention at "Potei'ach es yadecha," the poskim debate whether one must repeat all of Ashrei, or from "Potei'ach es yadecha" to the end, or just the verse itself - but it is clear that he has not fulfilled the essential requirement of Ashrei, since the core of Ashrei is "Potei'ach es yadecha."
The Mabit explains: The very fact that the psalm is arranged alphabetically teaches that there is order and structure here, that Someone deliberately arranged the praises in sequence. This order indicates that the Creator's emanations of bounty are not random, but calculated. "Ashrei yoshvei veisecha od yehalelucha selah," "Bechol yom avarecheka," and so on - each and every praise signifies an emanation from the Creator. They are not arbitrary "barrages" cast upon the world by the Holy One, blessed be He, but divine flows channeled through orderly conduits of blessing, just as the praises of Eshes Chayil constitute an orderly guide for life, educating toward the stature of an eshes chayil.
And why is the letter Nun missing? The Gemara explains: Nun signifies falling (nefilah) - "Fallen, she shall no more rise, the virgin of Israel." Therefore, we do not wish to mention the letter Nun, which carries a negative connotation regarding us, so it is omitted: no Nun, no falling. If so, the question arises: Why does the letter Nun appear in Eshet Chayil - "Her husband is known in the gates"? Does the woman of valor have no falls, no declines, and no crises in her life? Why is a fall alluded to specifically here?
נוֹדָע בַּשְּׁעָרִים בַּעְלָהּ בְּשִׁבְתּוֹ עִם זִקְנֵי אָרֶץ׃ - Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
The answer is: Notice who is mentioned under the letter Nun - the husband. And he enters right in the middle, between "She makes tapestries for herself" and "She makes a garment and sells it." At the letter Nun, the husband suddenly appears. This comes to teach us: Know that falls occur in life. But how does a woman survive a fall? Who stands behind her to support her? "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land." There may be situations of tension, of falls, of struggles - and here lies the husband's role: to support, to help, and to uplift. From his place among the elders of the land, he rushes home to assist his wife. When one has such a husband, one does not fear the fall.
This is also an allusion to our relationship with the Holy One, Blessed be He. As we explained, Eshet Chayil also symbolizes the Congregation of Israel (Knesset Yisrael) vis-a-vis the Holy One, Blessed be He, just as expressed in Shir HaShirim, where the bride is Knesset Yisrael and the beloved groom is the Holy One, Blessed be He. We experience aspects of falling, but even when a person is in the midst of a fall, he should know: "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land" - there is Someone Who supports the fallen. And Who is He? Her Husband, the Holy One, Blessed be He.
This is a crucial message. A person sometimes finds himself in a crisis - a family crisis, a medical crisis, being dismissed from a job - and worst of all, the person does not merely endure the crisis, but shatters to pieces: losing his Torah, his fear of Heaven, his meticulous observance of mitzvot. Suddenly you see his kippah shrinking, "diminishing and deteriorating," and he begins to treat all kinds of halachic matters lightly. What happened? He got divorced. Was your wife the reason you kept the Torah and mitzvot? You got divorced, so you dismissed the Master of the Universe as well? And there are many similar examples of people who go through crises and collapse spiritually.
We are told: Know that there will be falls, but in the midst of the fall, remember that "Her husband is known in the gates." The Holy One, Blessed be He, is immense and great. As the saying goes: Do not tell the Holy One, Blessed be He, how great your troubles are; tell your troubles how great the Holy One, Blessed be He, is! The Holy One, Blessed be He, is there, He is in the gates, He will help you and assist you - rely on Him, trust in Him, place your hope in Him, pray to Him, and He will help you in your time of falling. But a person who enters a spiritual free fall, taking no action and making no plan to pick himself up and emerge from distress - that is a fall from which there is no rising.
Rav Yitzchak Hutner once wrote a letter to a student who poured out his heart about how much he suffered from repeated falls: every time he ascended, he fell again, rose, and struggled anew. Rav Hutner sent him a truly illuminating letter of encouragement. He told him: Know that the verse says, "For a righteous man falls seven times and rises," teaching us that there is no spiritual life without falls. A person cannot constantly remain at the peak. And what is the difference between a tzaddik and a wicked person? The wicked person falls once and shatters, whereas the tzaddik falls seven times and rises. The verse is not merely recounting what happens to the tzaddik, but what actually builds the tzaddik: that he fell and was not disheartened. Yes, I fell, but from now on I will strengthen myself further, I will struggle harder and succeed - and through this very process he becomes a tzaddik. But if he thought, "I fell, it is all over, there is nothing left to do" - that is no longer a tzaddik. And what if you say: You already had three falls previously? True, and nevertheless, the Holy One, Blessed be He, is abundant in lovingkindness, gracious, and brings salvation abundantly; I will try again, exert effort, and ultimately succeed. This is how a person ascends higher and higher.
Rav Hutner further writes there: One of our problems is that we read stories about tzaddikim, and what is written in them? "A squash is known from its sprout" - that even in his youth, sparks of greatness were already evident in him, like a gourd whose ultimate growth can be recognized while it is still tiny. "This tzaddik was already tested on an entire tractate at the age of six" - whereas I, at thirty, if you test me on a single page, I do not know it; what do I have in common with him? This causes dejection: tzaddikim exist, but they were extraordinary from early childhood, so who am I compared to them? Rav Hutner told him: This is an error. Authors should also write about their struggles, their falls, and the circumstances in which they faced great hardship. Do not write only of how sparks of greatness were recognizable from youth - write of the battles they fought.
It is well known that the Chafetz Chaim was orphaned at a young age and endured immense hardships. There was one individual about whom the Chafetz Chaim - who was famously guarded with his speech and never uttered an ill word about anyone - would mention his name and add: "May his name and memory be blotted out, for he sought to destroy me in both worlds." Who was that man? Baruch Hashem, he is largely forgotten today, though perhaps streets are named after him: Ada"m HaKohen, one of the prominent leaders of the Haskalah movement in the era of the Chafetz Chaim, may the name of the wicked rot. That man once summoned the young Chafetz Chaim and said to him: "I have a large and exceptional library with rare books; come and see." In those days, the Maskilim possessed genuine Torah libraries, not mere collections of vanity. The Chafetz Chaim recounted: I was greatly drawn to this; I had been an illui (prodigy) from my youth, and I passionately wanted to see rare sefarim - but deep inside I knew that if I went there, there was a chance I would never return. It is well known that the Maskilim sought to ensnare prodigies from the yeshivot, luring them toward Haskalah and secular studies to sever them from the Torah. He said: "At the very last moment, I restrained myself."
Just imagine: We could have lost the Chafetz Chaim, the Mishnah Berurah, Nidchei Yisrael, Shemirat HaLashon, and all the Torah and sefarim he authored - all because of one Maskil who tried to entice him and distance him from the Torah. It is clear, then, that he too experienced hardships and fierce struggles. When you read about him as a tzaddik - did he not struggle in his youth? One must write about his struggles as well! That is how the youth of the righteous should be depicted, so you know that they too fought - they struggled and they triumphed. But when a person reads only that from early childhood the tzaddik was already fully formed, he says: Forget it, I don't have that; I grew up in an entirely different world.