Chapter 28 of Mishlei deals with many character traits and conducts, both between man and God and between man and his fellow man. Embedded within it is a single verse that summarizes, in just two words, the entire secret of a person's peace of mind. This time, we will examine verse 25, guided by the commentaries of Rashi, the Gra, Ralbag, and the Malbim.
רְחַב־נֶפֶשׁ יְגָרֶה מָדוֹן וּבֹטֵחַ עַל־יְהֹוָה יְדֻשָּׁן׃ (כח, כה) - One of greedy desire stirs up strife, but he who trusts in Hashem will prosper.
The expression rechav nefesh ('broad-souled') refers to desires. Rashi explains: one who is a rechav nefesh is among the disciples of the wicked Bil'am, and because he constantly pursues all his lusts - he incites the Attribute of Strict Justice against himself, awakening Heavenly judgment upon him.
The Gra explains the concept from its foundation. In biblical Hebrew, nefesh means will or desire, as it is written, 'If it is your wish [nafshechem]' - meaning, if it is your will. A person whose soul is 'broad' is someone whose desires are endless: he wants this, and immediately craves that, and right away fancies something else. His soul is expansive and yearns without end.
The Gra states: such a person is never satisfied with his lot. What he has is never enough for him. If they bring him something - he has already noticed that a newer model has been released. If he remodels his kitchen - he immediately spots telescopic doors with advanced hinges at his neighbor's that his own carpenter did not suggest, and he instantly feels lacking. Such a person is never content, because he is always seeking more, always longing for what he does not yet possess.
The story is told of a man who boarded a bus crying. The driver asked him, 'Why are you crying?' He replied, 'I do not have money to pay.' The driver said, 'Come on, get on.' He sat down, and after a moment the driver heard him crying again. He asked him, 'And why are you crying now?' He replied, 'I see that you gave everyone else change, but you did not give any to me.' For a person with an insatiable soul - whatever you give him will never be enough.
The Gra adds another crucial point: such a person is perpetually angry, because everything seems meager in his eyes, and he constantly grieves over a world that is not his. Therefore, he lives in constant rage. Every little thing irritates him, since everything must be exactly according to his will, fulfilling all his desires and ambitions. And if something small does not go his way - he comes home and there is no ironed shirt, leading immediately to World War III: commotion in the house, shouting, tension, 'How many times do I have to tell you?!', 'This is not the first time!' Every single whim must be satisfied one hundred percent, and when it is not one hundred percent - there is anger.
Consequently, says the Gra, he becomes a person of strife: over every little detail he picks a fight, over every minor matter he starts an argument. Merchants know this type of person well. He will never pay full price; he will always discover a scratch on the product, always find that the appliance makes too much noise, and will always find an excuse to pay the contractor half: 'Here you didn't do a perfect job, and there while painting you touched the doorframe, and now I have to bring someone to clean it and that alone will cost me a thousand shekels.' Thus, over every slight grievance he quarrels, and every little thing throws him completely off balance.
In contrast, one who trusts in Hashem is a person content with his lot. Did they fail to give him what was promised? "Whatever is destined for me, I will receive. In your place they will seat you, and no person can touch what is prepared for his fellow, even by a hairsbreadth. If this is the will of the Blessed Creator, this is His will, and I will not argue, dispute, or quarrel over it." And this is his great virtue: "shall delight" - he is filled with delight, free of quarrels and arguments.
The greedy person will say of him: "He let himself be taken for a fool." But let us examine the truth. "For anger slays the fool" (Iyov 5:2) - we have already learned this in Iyov, and we have cited studies on the matter: anger literally kills a person. Someone did something displeasing to you, and you grew furious, lost your temper, banged on the table, and put him in his place - and what did you gain? You shortened your own life. So who is the real fool here? The one who banged on the table and shortened his life, or the one who said, "This is Hashem's will, I will not make an issue out of it," and though he did not receive what he wanted, remained filled with delight and lived a good, calm, and serene life?
As someone once said: What will kill you is not what you eat, but what is eating you. Such people lack the most essential thing in life, which is: "And one who trusts in Hashem shall delight." Do you think he lost out? He gained what you lost - a quiet life, tranquility, and peace of mind.
"I sued him in court." And how much did that lawsuit cost you? Forget the money - how much did it cost you emotionally? You ran to a lawyer, filed a small claim, sat and drafted papers, stood in court - and how much did you get in the end? Fifteen hundred shekels. There are people who would say: "Take fifteen hundred shekels and release me from this headache; I am willing to pay that much for my peace of mind, rather than run to court and stand there arguing." In the eyes of the first person, he was taken advantage of, but from the perspective of truth - "One who trusts in Hashem shall delight."
Furthermore, know that he did not actually lose those fifteen hundred shekels. Whatever is destined for a person, he will receive, and no person can touch what is prepared for his fellow by even a hairsbreadth. And if someone was robbed, ultimately it is the robber who will lose out; the Holy One, Blessed is He, says: "I hate robbers, for they burden Me, compelling Me to take from this one and restore to that one." It turns out that the plaintiff also ruined his health, and for what? To retrieve something that was destined for him anyway and that he would have received regardless. And if he did not receive it at all, it may very well be that it was decreed that he be deprived of it; in which case, the robber will also ultimately lose what he took by force. Whichever way you look at it: if it is destined for you, the entire battle was unnecessary, as you would have received it anyway; and if it is not destined for you, it was likewise pointless, as you will end up losing it in the end.
Of course, this does not mean that when an apartment is at stake, a person should forfeit a million shekels for the sake of peace of mind. We are speaking of all the petty matters that agitate a person, where he fails to realize that he is forfeiting his health over trivialities that are truly devoid of value.
Ralbag explains: "The wide of soul" is one who possesses endless desires, leading him to constantly chase after his cravings to satisfy them. And why does he "stir up strife"? Because it is impossible to satisfy every desire, and when he sets out to fulfill his cravings, he inevitably collides with others.
And as has been stated: "לְתַאֲוָה יְבַקֵּשׁ נִפְרָד" - "He who separates himself seeks his own desire" (Mishlei 18:1); one person's craving is not another's, and consequently desire causes division and separation. This can be seen today in the most classic example: a person who has a craving to smoke - what does he do? He gets up and leaves the room. He has no choice; because of his craving, he separates himself from everyone else.
However, one who trusts in Hashem and sets all his desires before Him - meaning that all his desires are directed solely toward Hashem, and he does not pursue worldly lusts - such a person "shall delight," meaning he will be enriched through the fulfillment of his genuine needs: whatever he truly requires, he will have. In contrast, one who chases endless desires will inevitably plunge into disputes and quarrels in his attempt to attain them.
The Ralbag further explains that "broad of spirit" (rechav nefesh) can be interpreted as one who dispenses his wealth to people so that they will love him. Such a person stirs up strife against himself, because he will ultimately lose his fortune and be forced to extort and oppress others.
And should you say: "But I bought myself friends! I lined pockets here, planted favors there, I have people at every intersection who will help me" - the Ralbag says: He will stir up strife even from those very people to whom he distributed gifts in the first place. Why? Ask yourself why he was your friend. As someone once put it: "a battery-operated friend" - when the battery runs out, the friendship ends. He was your friend because you lined his pockets; the moment he hears you have gone bankrupt, he realizes immediately there is nothing more to get. And if there is nothing to gain, why does he need any connection with you?
This is an exact description of reality. A wealthy person of high station hands out money and perks, helps this person with his campaign, donates to that person's party. How long will these connections last? Only as long as you have wealth. But imagine that this person falls on hard times, and turns to the very person whose pockets he lined, reminding him who he is: "Remind me what your name was again? Ah, I will speak with my secretary to look into it." That will be the last phone call, because from then on, the secretary is instructed to screen his calls.
Rav Zilberstein once related a story directly touching upon this matter. There was a mayor he knew who, in a particular election campaign, failed to prepare properly because he was certain he would win effortlessly - and he was voted out of office. It was a total shock to him. And from bad to worse: a week after being ousted, his car was stolen as well.
He immediately telephoned the district police commander, with whom he used to walk arm in arm at every convention, and between whom a great friendship had existed. "Hello, how are you?" "Baruch Hashem. Listen, my car was stolen..." "Oh, really? Okay, fine" - and suddenly the call disconnected. He thought to himself: He must surely be taking care of it. He waited a week, and nothing happened: he was not summoned, no investigator came to his home, nothing. He called again. "Who is this?" "So-and-so." "Oh, right. Well, go to the police station and file an official report." The former mayor related: The manner in which the words were spoken and the chilling tone in his voice said it all. And if that were not enough, he concluded: "And do me a favor, delete my number; this is a private line."
He said: Only then did the penny drop regarding how far I had fallen. I had not yet fully absorbed that I had dropped from being the chief of the city to being a simple private citizen, and that phone call clarified my current status in the sharpest terms. That was my greatest crisis - to realize the plunge from the highest peak to the deepest pit. And these were people whom I supported in everything they asked for, even in private matters for their relatives: for this one I arranged a plot of land, for that one I helped with a building violation, what didn't I do? Yet the moment he realized you are no longer at the helm - what does he need from you? When I was mayor, they would send an investigator to my office to take testimony so as to take up as little of my time as possible, and the police would open an investigation immediately. And now - who are you anymore?
Not only that, adds the Ralbag: sometimes what he gave will even turn into hatred. How so? When he falls financially and stops giving, and it is not always widely known that he has fallen - what does the recipient think? "He hasn't lined my pockets in three months; he hasn't sent any gifts for three months. So what is he even talking to me for? Tell him I have no time, let him come back after the holidays." What was once a reason for love now turns into a reason for hatred, for you accustomed him to receiving, and suddenly he receives nothing from you.
However, one who places his trust in Hashem alone, says the Ralbag, will achieve his desires and his table will be full of abundance - the exact opposite of the rechav nefesh. The broad-spirited person squanders his wealth to buy himself friends, not realizing that none of them will stand by him in a time of trouble. But the one who trusts in Hashem says: I do not rely on anyone other than the Holy One, blessed be He; I have no need to plant money in all kinds of places. And this is as it is said: "Blessed is the man who trusts in Hashem, and Hashem will be his trust."
It is also stated: "It is better to take refuge in Hashem than to trust in man," "It is better to take refuge in Hashem than to trust in nobles." As we have explained in the past according to the Vilna Gaon: What is the difference between "taking refuge" (lachasot) and "trusting" (livto'ach)? "Trusting" means that someone made you a promise - you have an assurance. "Taking refuge" means that you yourself hide in a shelter, without anyone having promised you anything: like a person in Sderot during an attack who looks for a concrete barrier to take cover behind - no one promised him protection; rather, he is sheltering himself.
King David says: It is better to take refuge in Hashem - even though Hashem did not explicitly promise you protection, and you merely say, "I take refuge in Him" - than to trust in a human being who promised you rescue and said, "Rely on me, I will help you." And how much more so when Hashem has indeed promised you rescue. It turns out that taking refuge in Hashem is more secure than any promise of flesh and blood. And one who places his trust in Hashem alone will be enriched; he does not anticipate help from any human being, and consequently, he is never disappointed.
The Malbim interprets "stirs up strife" in a unique way. Not like the other commentators who explained that he will have strife with other people - which is also true - but that he stirs up strife against the Holy One, Blessed be He. Since his cravings are not satisfied, he becomes convinced that everything is targeted against him and that the entire world was created to his detriment. He constantly complains about the ways of the Holy One, Blessed be He: "I wanted this and it did not work out; I aspired to that and it failed; and over there I truly desired something and was blocked. Master of the Universe, what do You want from me?!" He harbors grievances against Heaven, an ongoing quarrel with the Holy One, Blessed be He - and all because he possesses endless cravings and desires that remain unfulfilled.
In contrast, one who trusts in Hashem - one who does not chase cravings, who is content with little, who trusts that the Holy One, Blessed be He, will provide what he needs - will be enriched and will find his needs fulfilled. For in truth, the Holy One, Blessed be He, never promised you wealth: "I was young and now I am old, yet I have not seen a righteous person forsaken, or his seed begging for bread" - we do not say, "and I have not seen a righteous person who is not rich." There is no promise of riches, but there is a promise that one will not be forsaken, nor will his children beg for bread. Therefore, one who trusts in Hashem will be enriched: what the Holy One, Blessed be He, gives him is sufficient for him; he has bread, he has a livelihood - and that is enough for him.
This is what is meant by the verse: "God made man upright, but they sought out many calculations." The Holy One, Blessed be He, created man such that a modest amount would suffice for him, yet people sought out many calculations. A person develops endless cravings, and because of them he comes into conflict with the Master of the Universe: Why did this not succeed, and why did that not work out? But the Holy One, Blessed be He, never obligated Himself to satisfy all your cravings.
"A broad-souled person stirs up strife" - one whose desires are boundless is never content with his portion, is perpetually angry, and consequently fights with everyone, isolates himself from others, and even levels accusations against Heaven. He shortens his own life over petty, worthless matters, and if he squandered his money to buy friends, he discovers in a time of trouble that he has no one to lean on. In contrast, "he who trusts in Hashem will be enriched": one who is content with his portion, who knows that no person touches that which is prepared for his fellow by even a hairsbreadth and that whatever is destined for him will reach him, merits peace of mind, a calm and good life, and his needs provided for by the Holy One, Blessed be He. This is the true accounting of who loses out and who truly profits.