Introduction: Good in Return for Evil
We arrive at one of the most famous verses in Sefer Mishlei, a verse that offers practical guidance in interpersonal relationships, behind which lies an entire doctrine regarding man's inner battle against his Yetzer Hara. We will begin with the peshat (plain meaning), move on to the derash of Chazal, delve into the words of the Vilna Gaon, and conclude with the explanation of the Malbim.
אִם־רָעֵב שֹׂנַאֲךָ הַאֲכִלֵהוּ לָחֶם וְאִם־צָמֵא הַשְׁקֵהוּ מָיִם׃ - If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
Rashi cites two explanations. The peshat is literal: when your enemy is hungry, give him food; when he is thirsty, give him water to drink. And the derash of our Sages: "If your enemy is hungry" - this refers to the Yetzer Hara. It seeks to satisfy you with sins, while you drag it to the Beit Midrash, satisfying it with the bread of Torah and giving it to drink from the waters of Torah.
The Vilna Gaon asks the simple question that arises in the heart: He is my enemy, he wronged me - and I should do good for him in return? The answer lies in the next verse.
כִּי גֶחָלִים אַתָּה חֹתֶה עַל־רֹאשׁוֹ וַיהֹוָה יְשַׁלֶּם־לָךְ׃ - For you heap coals upon his head, and Hashem will reward you.
By doing good to him, you are, as it were, placing burning coals on his head, and he will be unable to lift his head against you. This is also true according to the simple meaning: when you do someone a favor in return for evil, the person feels discomfort and pangs of conscience. He expected you to wage war against him, to fight back, but instead he sees that you treat him with forgiveness and nobility. It would have been far easier for him had you fought back and retaliated. When you not only refrain from retaliating, but even treat him kindly - to him, it feels like coals upon his head.
"If this despicable one encounters you" - Two Questions
The Vilna Gaon applies the entire verse to the derash taught by Chazal regarding the Yetzer Hara. The Yetzer Hara is called an enemy - it is man's greatest enemy, knowing no rest or quiet until it sees man lower than ten tefachim, until it sees him in the grave. And Chazal stated: If this despicable one encounters you, drag him to the Beit Midrash; if he is stone, he will dissolve; if he is iron, he will shatter.
And this requires understanding: Why the duplication - "if he is stone, he will dissolve, and if he is iron, he will shatter"? Furthermore, seemingly the concepts are reversed. What dissolves, stone or iron? Iron melts! And what shatters? Stone, which shatters into many pieces! If so, it should have said: "If he is stone, he will shatter; if he is iron, he will dissolve."
"Drag him to the Beit Midrash" - The Path of Shelo Lishmah
The Vilna Gaon explains: "If this despicable one encounters you" - he wants to divert you from the Torah; he wants you not to learn. If you attempt to begin immediately by learning Torah lishmah (purely for its own sake), it will not work, because for him that is a knockout blow, and he will resist in every way and stand against you like a fortified wall. What should you do? Begin shelo lishmah (not for its own sake), for from shelo lishmah one comes to lishmah. This is the meaning of "drag him to the Beit Midrash."
If you tell it: "I am leaving you and going to the beit midrash," it will say to you: "You are leaving me? I am not leaving you!" But if you say to it: "Come, let us both go together" - this is learning shelo lishmah (not for its own sake). Why are you studying? So that people will call me "Rabbi," so that they will honor me, so that I can secure a position and earn money. As the Rambam explains and in the words of the Gemara, when a person first enters the beit midrash, he begins with motives that are shelo lishmah. We have already learned from the Nefesh HaChaim, where Rav Chaim of Volozhin writes: "A person should always engage in Torah shelo lishmah, for from shelo lishmah one comes to lishmah" - and the word "always" (le'olam) teaches that this is the path; there is no shortcut directly to lishmah.
Say to the yetzer: "I am not going to learn lishmah right now; you are coming with me, you are part of the picture, and there is something in it for you too." This is what is meant by "drag it to the beit midrash" - bring it along with you, and through shelo lishmah you will arrive at lishmah. Then you will succeed in ridding yourself of it entirely, and then "you will heap coals upon its head." Someone once remarked upon entering a beit midrash: "I see there is a great deal of the yetzer hara here." When asked why, he replied: "It is written, 'drag it to the beit midrash.' People come, drag it to the beit midrash, leave it here, and walk away... so the beit midrash is full of yetzer hara!" But the true intention is that through this, one will reach lishmah; if one remains permanently in shelo lishmah, that is certainly not a good thing.
Dissolves and Shatters
"If it is a stone, it dissolves" - as it is written, "Water wears away stones," for water manages to erode stones. "If it is iron, it shatters" - as it is written, "Is not My word like fire, says the Lord, and like a hammer that shatters rock?" One explanation offered there is that it is actually the rock that shatters the hammer, similar to "water wears away stones," meaning that the iron is what gets shattered.
Two Kinds of Yetzer Hara: Water and Fire
From here, the Vilna Gaon explains the deeper meaning of these matters, pursuing a theme he has traced from the beginning of Sefer Mishlei: There are two types of yetzer hara - the lustful yetzer hara and the wrathful yetzer hara. The lustful yetzer attracts a person to physical desires, while the wrathful yetzer leads a person to anger, boiling within him and making him angry over everything; pride is also part of this. The lustful yetzer is unrelated to anger or pride - it brings cravings and material pleasures.
These two correspond to right and left, water and fire. The lustful yetzer is right, because it is stronger - desire assails a person, and it is exceedingly difficult to overcome. The wrathful yetzer is left, because it is weaker; it does not attack a person with the relentless force of physical desire.
The lustful yetzer is water. Desires are compared to water, as was discussed at length in Parashat Terumah regarding the waters of the Laver. The generation of the Flood corrupted themselves through water and were punished by water - "for all flesh had corrupted its way upon the earth," and semen resembles water, so they were judged through water. And this is evident in the world: whenever someone advertises a vacation, the picture will always feature water - a sea with palm trees, a pool, a spa. The moment one sees water, it evokes tranquility and indulgence. Similarly, regarding Rabbi Elazar ben Arach, it is said that he "was drawn after the beautiful waters"; someone who is drawn after the pleasures of this world is spoken of in terms of water.
The wrathful yetzer is fire: "For a fire is kindled in My anger" - a person burns with fury. This is the meaning of charon af (wrath), where the nose heats up and emits steam; charah denotes heat and burning, as in "the rivers dried up" (charvu). This is anger, this is fire.
The Torah - Fire and Water
How does one treat these two inclinations? The Vilna Gaon explains: The Torah itself is fire and water. "Is not My word like fire, says the Lord" - and this fire counteracts the fire of anger. "Ho, all who are thirsty, come for water," and water is nothing other than Torah - and the waters of Torah counteract the waters of desire. When the waters of Torah are present, the waters of desire are nullified. As the Rambam writes, lust dominates only a heart devoid of wisdom - when there is no Torah, lust takes over.
On the other hand, the holy Zohar states that when the inclination for forbidden relations (yitzra de'arayot) was abolished, the joy of Torah study (chedvata dishmata) also ceased; the delight in learning was diminished. For God has made one parallel to the other: Torah contains an element of pleasure and attraction, and if desire is eliminated entirely, the corresponding delight in Torah is lost along with it.
Where do we see these two components in the Torah? The Gra explains: There are halachot, and there are aggadot. Aggadah is compared to water. Physical desire draws a person in - and Aggadah also draws a person in. Why is it called aggadeta? The Aruch cites that it stems from the word yitnaged, meaning pulling or drawing, for it draws a person's heart. One who engages in Aggadah is drawn after it; he can study it all day long, and it gives him pleasure. In contrast, Halachah is exacting and demanding. One must delve deeply, analyze precisely, examine the various opinions, reconcile them, and ensure there are no contradictions - far more difficult matters. Aggadah flows pleasantly, like water.
The Torah comes and says: I have given you the study of Aggadah, which also contains ethical instruction - for the Aggadah is filled with mussar, ethical teachings recorded throughout Shas - and through it, you can break the urge of desire, which corresponds to water. Halachot are the legal rulings, and they are fire. When does a person become heated during study - in Aggadah or in Halachah? Certainly in Halachah! When debating halachic points, there is a fiery fervor: "How could you say such a thing?! That distinction does not hold!" One shouts from here, and the other shouts from there. In Aggadah, everything flows smoothly, beside still waters. Thus, the study of Halachah - arriving at the final halachic ruling through profound in-depth analysis - is fire. And this fire neutralizes the angry, fiery impulse.
Why Stone Dissolves and Iron Shatters
What is the difference between "shatters" and "dissolves"? Shattering happens through fire - in a single moment, fire causes an explosion. Dissolving happens through water - drop after drop after drop, until after years you witness that "water wears away stones." Even stones are worn down by water, but only gradually. Fire, however, can cause an explosion in an instant, destroying the object on the spot.
The Gra explains: The inclination of lust is called "stone" - "And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh" - because lust stupefies and dulls a person's heart. Therefore, "if it is stone, it dissolves" - through water, gradually. "And if it is iron, it shatters" - this refers to anger, which is shattered through fire, for the fire of Torah has the power to extinguish anger, fire countering fire.
And what is the reason for this? The Gra explains: The angry inclination is easier to break than the inclination of desire. The explanation is that anger is not necessary for human life, whereas desire is essential for life. It would not be right for a person to pray: "Master of the Universe, completely eradicate the evil inclination of desire." For when the Sages attempted to do so, a fresh egg could not be found, because even a rooster would not mate with a hen. If the inclination of desire were abolished, how would a person marry, bear children, and build a home? Thus, the inclination of desire is necessary - and that is why it is so difficult to eliminate. Anger can be wiped out and eradicated entirely; desire cannot be eliminated, because the Holy One, blessed be He, implanted it within you, and His purpose in doing so was that you channel it in holiness - to build a home, establish a family, and have children. Therefore, there are no shortcuts of a sudden explosion; rather, one must weaken it steadily, drop by drop, until it finds expression solely in the realm of sanctity, and never, Heaven forbid, in the realm of impurity.
"Feed Him Bread" and "Give Him Water to Drink" Corresponding to the Two Inclinations
Based on this, the Gra explains the verse: "If your enemy is hungry" - this is the angry inclination. "Feed him bread" - bread represents Halachah, as in "abundant crops come by the strength of an ox." "And if he is thirsty" - this is the inclination of desire, since desires are compared to water, and in response: "Give him water to drink" - this represents Aggadah, the waters of Torah. The wording "feed him" and "give him to drink" teaches: provide for him, study everything, even initially shelo lishmah (not for its own sake), because through shelo lishmah one eventually comes to study lishmah (for its own sake), and ultimately you will succeed in overcoming the evil inclination.
Strict Judgments Are Sweetened Only at Their Source
The Gra says that this is the deeper meaning behind the principle that strict judgments are sweetened only at their source. First, one must understand that sweetened judgments are of an even higher level than pure acts of loving-kindness. Rabbi Amar once offered a parable to illustrate this: A person is served water - plain, pleasant water; add sugar, and it becomes sweetened water. But if he is served black coffee made with three spoonfuls of coffee and no sugar at all, he tastes it and cannot drink it - it is too bitter. Then, two spoonfuls of sugar are added, and he tastes it again - it is now exquisite. Which would he prefer now, the coffee or the water? Certainly the coffee. This is the nature of sweetened judgments: what was once harsh judgment has been transformed into mercy and loving-kindness, and it becomes far more exalted than simple kindness alone.
Sweetening the judgments means that something which manifests as harshness, hardship, and bitterness can be sweetened through Torah, through mitzvot, and through good deeds. This was explained at length regarding the concept of a master who "poured a pitcher over his face": The High Holy Days are days of severe judgment; wine represents judgment, red; and the servant comes to sweeten the judgment with water, for Sukkot is associated with water and water represents loving-kindness. But when the Holy One, blessed be He, does not desire to sweeten the judgments but rather to leave the strict judgment in effect - dina kashya - then, Heaven protect us, He "pours a pitcher over his face," rejecting the kindness, so to speak, and saying He does not desire it. That is why rain on Sukkot is considered such a grave omen.
This is the meaning of "strict judgments are sweetened only at their source": to sweeten something, one must operate through the very root from which it derives. Anger has its root in fire, and is therefore sweetened by the fire of Torah found in the study of Halachah. Desire has its root in water, and is therefore sweetened by the waters of Torah, which correspond to Aggadah. In this way, the judgments are rectified through the power of the Torah itself.
The Malbim's Explanation: Two Gains
The Malbim explains: A person who wishes to take profound revenge upon his enemy should not do so by withholding bread and water from him - that is not the way. Rather, the opposite: feed him bread, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing so, he gains two things, which correspond to the two parts of the subsequent verse: 'For you will heap coals of fire on his head' - and 'and Hashem will reward you.'
The first gain: by doing good to him, it is like coals on his head, for at every moment he will remember, 'What did I do to him, and look how he treated me with goodness,' and this will bring him profound shame and humiliation. And to what is shame compared? To fire. We have already explained several times that Gehinnom is not a concept of boiling pitch, for there is no physical reality there at all, and it is not a literal, physical fire. The holy books state that it is the fire of shame, and it burns to such an intensity that our physical fire is only one-sixtieth of it. The parables we were given are very accurate, but one must not be confused - they are allegories; the reality there is terrible, overwhelming shame: 'How could I have angered my Creator?'
Rav Dessler cites that this shame exists even for a tzaddik who never sinned: if he felt a desire to commit a transgression and refrained, he feels shame over the very initial thought - 'That I even contemplated angering the King! How could such a thing even cross my mind?' It is like a man who says to his wife: 'Listen, I saw someone and considered it, but in the end I said no, I cannot do such a thing to you.' Would she receive this with appreciation? On the contrary - 'How could you even entertain such a thought?!' Or like a son saying to his father: 'Father, to tell the truth, I thought about spitting on you, but I overcame the urge.' Would anyone say to him, 'Well done, commendable, you were raised well'? Where do such notions even come from? When a person arrives in the World of Truth and senses: 'Master of the Universe, I actually considered defying Your word' - even if he never defied it - the very thought will bring unfathomable shame. And if he did defy His word, and in Heaven he sees clearly Who it was that invested in him, sustained him, and gave him life - that is a severe, harrowing shame, and that is the very essence of Gehinnom.
We learn, then, that the fire of Gehinnom is coals, and shame is like fire. This is the meaning of 'For you will heap coals of fire on his head' - you burn him with the fire of shame. He says to himself: 'I did such and such to him, and look what a mensch, what character, what nobility - despite everything I did to him, he still looks for ways to do good to me.' That is like coals on his head.
And the second gain: 'And Hashem will reward you.' You have now performed an act of charity, repaying evil with good, and the Holy One, Blessed is He, will reward you for the charity you performed. Had you taken revenge, you might well have received punishment, for the Torah commands, 'You shall not take vengeance, nor bear a grudge'; and now, not only did you refrain from revenge, but you added goodness - so you receive reward for it as well. There are two gains here: you heap coals of fire on his head, and you also receive a reward.
'Heaping' and 'Will Reward You' in Rashi's Approach
Rashi explains that 'choteh' (heaping) refers to scooping coals from a fire, as in 'to scoop fire from the hearth.' And regarding 'and Hashem will reward you (yeshalem lach),' Rashi interprets it in a slightly different manner - not in the sense of paying a reward, but rather: He will make him at peace with you (yashlimenu immach), so that he will not overpower you.
Here, a question always arises in a person's heart when reading such a verse: perhaps the other person will think I am a doormat, a trampled broom, that he can walk all over me, that I am his sucker - and subsequently he will domineer over me and overpower me even more. While such extreme situations may exist, in the normal course of things most people do have a conscience, even if they do not always use it. Someone once claimed that his conscience was spotless, to which he was answered: 'Undoubtedly, you have never used it, so it remains spotless like new.' There are people who lack any conscience at all, but most people at least wish to be fair. Regarding them, know that you are heaping coals on his head. And if you still fear that he might overpower you, the additional promise addresses this: 'And Hashem will make him at peace with you,' so that he will not overpower you.
In summary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him bread' - on the level of peshat, this is guidance to repay evil with good, and on the level of derash, it is counsel against the yetzer hara, man's greatest enemy. The Gra teaches us that there are two inclinations: lust, in the aspect of water and stone that deadens the heart, which is slowly worn away by the waters of the Torah, which are the Aggados; and anger, in the aspect of fire and iron, which shatters in the fire of Torah through the study of Halachah - for severe judgments are sweetened only at their root. And the way to enter this is 'drag him to the beit midrash,' beginning shelo lishmah until one attains lishmah. The Malbim adds that by doing good to one's enemy, a person gains two things: coals of shame on the head of his enemy, and reward from the Holy One, Blessed is He - and Rashi adds a promise: that Hashem will make him at peace with you, and he will not overpower you.