In this lesson we will examine two verses from chapter 20 of Mishlei: the verse about withdrawing from strife, and the verse about laziness and wasting time. Both verses, as we will see, touch on a single root: does a person make a wise calculation of long term profit and loss, or is he swept along by the moment.
כָּבוֹד לָאִישׁ שֶׁבֶת מֵרִיב וְכָל־אֱוִיל יִתְגַּלָּע׃ (משלי כ, ג) - It is an honor for a man to cease from strife, but every fool will be exposed. (Mishlei 20:3)
Rashi explains it according to its plain meaning, and this is the heading of the verse: it is good and honorable for a person to rest from strife. On the other hand, every fool who does not cease from strife will have his disgrace revealed. From here we move on to the commentators who go into greater detail.
Rabbeinu Yonah asks: when two people quarrel with one another, which of them possesses the virtue? Who is the praiseworthy one? The answer: the one who hurries and is first to bring the strife to an end. The two argue back and forth, this one claims and that one claims, and one of them says: let it go, let us stop here, let us not get into an argument. He is the praiseworthy one and the one of virtue. And so the Gemara says in Kiddushin (71): in Eretz Yisrael, when they would see two people quarreling and one of them was quick to fall silent and cease from the strife ("sitting" in the sense of ceasing from the quarrel), they would say of him that he was of distinguished lineage.
By contrast, the fool is exposed, and his bad traits become apparent precisely at the time of strife. I once heard a beautiful idea from Rav Pinger: there are people that when you get into an argument with them (no matter about what, even about an improper overtaking on the road) they are like a garbage can whose pedal you stepped on: the lid opens, and all the trash flies out. This is "and every fool will be exposed." You only stepped a bit on his foot, and behold the mouth opens, and you see how much filth and how much garbage is inside, what a broad world of expressions, which you never knew were his ways of phrasing things. Suddenly you are standing before his less attractive side.
Therefore they said that one of the things by which a person is measured and recognized is his anger: by his cup (bekoso), by his pocket (bekiso), and by his anger (beka'aso). So we find with Moshe Rabbeinu, who said to the people: "And Aharon, what is he that you should complain against him." Aharon was exceedingly humble, and Moshe, as it were, says to them: you want to test Aharon? There are three parameters. By his cup? Impossible, for he is a Kohen and does not drink. By his pocket? Also not, for he has the gifts of the priesthood and receives from everyone, and besides, a Kohen has no lands and no portion of the country. If so, only the last way remains: "that you should complain against him" - go and complain against him, try to provoke him, and then you will see what a humble man Aharon is.
It emerges that when a person is careful about strife and does not rush to become angry and react, his good traits are proven upon him. And the fool will be exposed, will be revealed, and his foolishness will be apparent to all. When? When they provoke him, when they do something to him not according to his understanding. Suddenly he opens his mouth, speaks improperly and in a degrading manner. And after he has let the words out of his mouth, often there is no taking them back. Afterward he can say "my words were taken out of context," "I did not mean it," "I was in a storm of emotions" - but we have already heard what we heard. A person may appear in my eyes as a great man, and suddenly someone provokes him and I hear a juicy curse from him. Will we continue to esteem him as before? Even if he apologizes, we will say to him: enough, we got the point. For such a thing should not have been in you even in thought, and if it came out of the mouth, then in a moment of weakness his inner self was revealed. This is the fool: he does not pay attention, he lets out what is inside him, and he does not understand that in this very act he is "exposed" and his nature and character are revealed.
Rabbeinu Yonah adds that this verse too, like the previous one, is a continuation of the first verse in the chapter: "Wine is a scoffer, strong drink is riotous, and whoever is led astray by it will not grow wise." There he explained that it is not fitting for a person to drink when he is going to speak with the king, for he must have awe and fear in him when he stands before a king. And here he adds: know that whoever is a scoffer of wine and riotous with strong drink will easily enter into strife. As it says (Mishlei 23): "Who has woe, who has grief, who has quarrels, who has complaint, who has wounds without cause, who has redness of eyes" - Shlomo asks question after question: who is it that always has woe and grief? Who has quarrels, meaning strife without end? Who has complaint and wounds without cause? And the answer: "those who linger over wine." The drinker, the drunkard, is the one who merits all these "virtues." And this is what Scripture says here: you want honor? Cease from strife, and do not drink wine, and you will not come to quarrels and strife and disgraces. It is an honor for a man to cease, rather than to quarrel with people.
The Vilna Gaon explains: it is fitting for a person of stature to refrain from quarreling, meaning that he should not pick a fight with anyone. As for the fool: when two fools quarrel together, each of them wants to expose the other's foolishness and prove that the other one is the greater fool. Both shout at each other in order to demonstrate the other's inferiority, and in the end 'yitgala' - in their quarrel their own inner nature is exposed.
The Malbim is precise: one who comes to quarrel with another person, this will not be counted to him as honor. But we must ask: a person who was about to quarrel and restrained himself - is it fitting to honor him for this? The Malbim says not necessarily, for it is possible that he refrained from the quarrel for one of two reasons of cold calculation. The first reason: if I quarrel with him, he will curse and revile me even more. I know the type, and I know that if I speak, it could end worse, in curses and perhaps even in blows. Such silence does not indicate his virtue and his power to overcome his impulses, but rather a simple calculation: I do not want blows, I want to come out alive.
The second reason: the very act of responding already gives the opponent what he wanted, and shows, as it were, that the matter is worthy of a response. When a prime minister is reviled, does he go on the air over every little thing and say, 'I want you to know that what this minister said is not true, and what this Knesset member said is not true'? There is no such thing. The dogs bark and the caravan moves on. When a person responds to everything, people understand that he is trying to clear his name and justify himself, and that there are unflattering things here that have been exposed; but when he pays no attention - it is as if he does not count the matter at all.
Once they asked Rav Steinman: Rebbe, they are saying such and such in the Rebbe's name, why does the Rebbe not deny it? He answered them: if I had to deny everything they say in my name, I would be busy all day with denials. This one says in my name this, and that one says in my name that, they tell things about the Chazon Ish and they tell things about so and so - and that is how it is. The very insistence on the insult shows that there is substance to the insult; but when you say, 'Let him say it, may he be well, can I shut his mouth?' - then you have removed the sting.
And so, says the Malbim, one who knows these two calculations and chooses to refrain from the quarrel has double honor in this: he will not be reviled further, and they will not say that there is substance to the matter. He shows by his very conduct that he is not bothered, and as Chazal said: 'The nobility of the Babylonians is silence,' for those of distinguished lineage are recognized by their silence. And he is also saved by this from a greater disgrace, as it is said: 'Do not go out to quarrel hastily, lest you know not what to do in its end' - you know how a quarrel begins, you do not know how it ends.
The rule states: do not go out to quarrel, first, with a person stronger than you; and second, with a person who has nothing to lose. These are two situations in which it is not at all worthwhile to have a confrontation. You, for example, are a respectable person - and he is not. He has no problem standing in the middle of the public and saying harsh things about you to your face; he has no issue of honor, no issue of shame, he does not fear disgrace. Against such a person you can never prevail, because your responses will always be measured - you fear for your honor, you have something to lose - while he is a base person who has nothing to lose.
This can be illustrated from the realm of warfare: there is no point in fighting against suicide bombers. What threat do I pose to him? That I will kill him? For him that is the greatest pleasure, he came to die. The kamikaze flies straight into the destroyer and blows himself up with another half ton of dynamite in the plane - how can one threaten him? When the other side has nothing to lose, I have no weapon against him and no way to subdue him. A person who has no restraints, who has no shame and does not understand that this whole quarrel is a disgrace for him - on the contrary, it is an honor for you to abstain, to restrain your spirit and not quarrel with him.
But the fool cannot restrain his spirit, and immediately his base traits are exposed. On this the Malbim says that it does not say 'yitgaleh' but 'yitgala,' and this expression always comes to convey the revelation of something base, of an evil trait. And which evil trait is revealed here? That the fool is unable to restrain his spirit. You tell him: you are only bringing shame upon yourself, you are only causing yourself harm - and he replies: what, he is going to say such a thing to me? I will show him what's what. Don't interfere with me now. And so he brings disgrace and shame upon himself, without any restraint. And what does this prove? That this person is a fool.
And what is an 'evil' (fool)? The Malbim always explains that it comes from the word 'ulai' (perhaps) - one who is uncertain about the laws of wisdom. The wise man is expert in the laws of wisdom, and therefore knows what is worthwhile and what is not. The fool, who is not sure of the laws of wisdom and is not 'firm' on them, often thinks that specifically a quarrel will benefit him and bring him effective results. He does not understand that perhaps you gained a hundred shekels in the quarrel, but you acquired disgrace and a bad name in which you lost far more: from now on people look at you negatively, they do not want to do business with you, they do not want to be near you. In one moment you gained something, but in the long run you lost a great deal. Had you been wise and not a fool, you would have made this calculation; but one who is uncertain about the laws of wisdom does not calculate, and rushes to quarrel even though it causes him harm.
מֵחֹרֶף עָצֵל לֹא־יַחֲרֹשׁ וְשָׁאַל בַּקָּצִיר וָאָיִן׃ (משלי כ, ד) - Because of the winter the lazy one will not plow; so he shall beg at harvest time, and there will be nothing. (Mishlei 20:4)
Rashi explains it according to the plain meaning: the lazy one, because of the cold, sits and does no work, and on account of the winter he does not plow. And Rashi adds that this also alludes to the study of Torah. The Ibn Ezra explains the end of the verse: 'so he shall beg at harvest time, and there will be nothing' - he asks from the reapers, and they give him nothing, because they say to him: you should have worked.
Rabbeinu Yonah says that the verse comes to alert people about the trait of diligence: that a person should not slacken from his work because of the cold or because of the heat, and should not say, 'now is not a good time, the season will pass and I will return to work.' For if he does so, the work will cease entirely, since there will always be obstacles: now it is too hot, now it is too cold, now it is not suitable, now the hour is not convenient. There will always be disruptions. And therefore 'because of the winter the lazy one will not plow' - he will always find reasons why not to do his work, and no recovery will be found for his loss: because of the cold he did not plow, and afterward 'so he shall beg at harvest time' - he will look for wheat at harvest time, but he did not plow and did not sow and nothing grew - and there is nothing.
Chazal expounded the verse regarding the matter of diligence in wisdom: 'Do not say, when I am free I will study - lest you never become free.' Do not say: when I am free I will learn. When will you be free? When will you find the time? You will never find it. And therefore it is fitting for a person to make use of every time and every moment, and not to seek reasons to be idle from his work and from the work of Hashem.
The Vilna Gaon explains that 'winter' is half of Kislev, Teves, and half of Shevat. 'From the winter' - from the beginning of the winter, when it is already a bit cold, he already does not plow, and afterward when the harvest comes he has nothing. And what does this come to allude to? There are three times in a person's life: a time of ascent, a time of standing, and a time of descent. And their names are: Kayin, Hevel, Shes. And they encompass the three evil traits: the one of desire, the one of anger, and the one of scoffing.
The one of desire is the person with the trait of desire, who craves every desire and every pleasure. The one of anger is the person with the trait of anger and rage. And the scoffer - the Vilna Gaon defines him as one who throws off the yoke and the fear of Heaven: a person who mocks, who sits 'in the company of elders' making jest, elders sitting and sharing experiences with one another. This is the session of scoffers, sitting and chattering their minds away.
The days of ascent are the days of youth, and then a person is one of desire. This is 'Kayin,' who was born first and is the beginning, and it may also be a term of acquisition (kinyan), for he desires acquisitions. The days of standing are 'Hevel,' when a person chases after the vanities (havlei) of honor and wealth; the desires have already subsided somewhat, he has reached the age of fifty, and what interests him? Honor and wealth. And the days of descent are 'Shes' - shin, tav, the end, and then he sits with the scoffers and idlers who share experiences.
And the Vilna Gaon adds that this corresponds to the watches of which Chazal spoke: the first watch - a donkey braying, corresponding to the one of desire, like a donkey running after every desire. The second watch - dogs crying 'give, give,' corresponding to the days of standing and vanity: give more wealth, give honor, chasing after the vanities of the world. The third watch - an infant nursing from his mother's breasts and a woman conversing with her husband, and this is the aspect of the scoffers: sitting and telling stories and speaking of the vanities of the world.
Based on this, the Vilna Gaon explains the verse: 'The lazy man does not plow because of the winter' - winter is the time of standing still. Not 'middle age' as we usually call the period before old age, but rather the middle of life: there is a time of ascent, the twenties, when a person is still rising and developing; then the years from twenty five to fifty, when the body is at a standstill; and afterward begins the phase of decline and withering. During the time of standing, from forty onward, he 'does not plow' - he does not engage in Torah and good deeds. 'So he begs at harvest time' - the time will come when he should already possess knowledge, when he should already have deepened himself and become full; but he did not make use of the standing years, and therefore once again he can achieve nothing.
The rule is that whoever studied Torah in his youth will study Torah in his old age as well. But whoever wasted his time in his youth and said, 'When I retire I will go to a shiur' - neither retirement nor shiur. Reality proves that such people do not set fixed times for Torah, because they lack the thing at its root, they lack the good habits from a young age. Whoever has good habits will study far more when he grows old; but whoever does not have even a beginning, that he should start learning at an advanced age, this is rare. Not that such people do not exist, but it is rare. Therefore, whoever is lazy because of the winter and does not plow, when the harvest stage arrives, in the dryness of reaping, when a person grows old, 'there is nothing': he has no desire to learn, he has nothing of Torah, and he neither gained wisdom nor understood it.
The Malbim explains: the time for plowing in the fields is in winter, and the air is cold, and the lazy man does not love work even without a reason, all the more so when he has a reason. Did you not learn 'thorns and snares are on the way of the crooked'? Whoever insists on going out in the cold has no one to blame but himself, he is simply stubborn. And so he says: I stay at home, under the blanket it is safest, and there are far fewer germs, I am in an enclosed place and I do not go out to a place where there are people. And so he passes his time in a winter slumber. But afterward, when harvest comes, when the air is good and it is possible to go out, he begs for produce, and there is none.
So too the person who is too lazy to gather wisdom in the days of his youth. That is the time to plow the field of the soul, clearing it of thorns and thistles and the images of desire, and to sow in it the seed of wisdom and knowledge. When a person is young, that is the time to attain insights in Torah, that is the time when he can have a share in learning and a share in refining his character traits. Afterward, when a person matures, his character traits have already been impressed upon him and his habits are fixed, and it is very hard for him to change himself. But the problem is that in his youth his blood is boiling, he has no rest, and his desires attack him, and therefore he is too lazy to fulfill mitzvot, too lazy to come to a shiur, too lazy to open a book. And in his old age, when the boiling of the blood has quieted and there are no longer desires troubling him, since he did not accustom himself and did not prepare the soil of his soul for wisdom in its proper time, once again he finds no fruit. One must know: what we accustom ourselves to in our youth will remain with us in our old age, and afterward it is very difficult.
There is a story about one of the great sages who told a certain man to repent. He answered: Rabbi, I am still young, leave it, come when I am old. Years passed, and the Rabbi remembered, and came to him when he had already grown old and said to him: Nu, repent now. What excuses do you have now? He said to him: Let me tell you, Rabbi, a parable of what this is like. You Rabbis love to speak in parables, this time I will speak in a parable. I was a stableman for a gentile, he had a horse farm and I was the keeper of the horses. And the owner would always say to me: build a roof for the horses, snow is falling, rain is falling, it is cold, and they stand outside. I would say to him: how is it possible? It is winter now, is it possible to begin outdoor work in this cold, in the frost and the snow? He would wait, and when summer came he would say: Nu, build a roof for the horses. And I would say to him: what for, a roof? The sun is out, everything is beautiful and everything is good, who needs a roof?
That man said to him: so too in our matter. When you came to me the first time I was still young - sun, everything good and beautiful, who needs repentance now? Leave it, come when I am old. Now you have come when I am old - winter. Nu, build a roof? Who can in this cold? Who can in my old age, in my present reality, do I have the strength to change myself and make revolutions? And indeed, few are the old people who repent, and the reason is that a person who has grown old becomes fixed in his positions, and it is very hard to move him and change him.
The Malbim brings a further explanation of 'so he begs at harvest time and there is nothing': what is the time of harvest? There is a time when the Holy One, blessed be He, harvests a person's soul and takes it to Himself, and if so, 'harvest' refers to the time of death. And they said: whoever toiled on the eve of Shabbat will eat on Shabbat, and whoever did not toil on the eve of Shabbat, from where will he eat on Shabbat? And this is what the verse says: this person who, all the days of his life, in the days of his winter, was lazy and did not plow, when he begs at harvest time, when the time of death arrives, 'there is nothing': he will have nothing at all, for what did he prepare for himself for the life of the World to Come?
The two verses teach a single reckoning. 'It is an honor for a man to cease from strife' - the one who is first to refrain from strife is the one of stature and distinction, and the one who ceases out of understanding that responding will only multiply insults and give substance to the words of his opponent, to him belongs the honor; whereas the fool, who is content with the rules of wisdom but does not know how to weigh gain against loss, cannot restrain his spirit, and in the hour of strife he 'breaks out' and the baseness of his inner self is revealed. And 'the lazy man does not plow because of the winter' - whoever seeks excuses will never work, and whoever did not plow the field of his soul in the days of his winter, in the days of his youth and in the days of his standing, will come to the harvest and find nothing: neither in his old age nor at the time when his soul is harvested. Therefore: do not say, 'When I am free I will study,' lest you never be free.