In this part of the chapter, we deal with three adjacent verses that share a single theme: the methods of rebuke and reproof. King Solomon lists three types of individuals - the scorner, the simpleton, and the discerning person - and teaches which method is effective for each of them. Afterward, he describes the fate of a son who was not disciplined and educated, and concludes with a personal appeal to the son: cease from sin, so that you will not have to receive discipline the hard way.
לֵץ תַּכֶּה וּפֶתִי יַעְרִם, וְהוֹכִיחַ לְנָבוֹן יָבִין דָּעַת׃ (כה) - Strike a scorner, and the simpleton will become cunning; and reprove one who has understanding, and he will discern knowledge. (25)
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: There is no hope for the scorner, neither through rebuke nor through the rod. Nothing will speak to him, which naturally raises the question of what purpose there is in striking him. To this he answers: strike the scorner so that the onlookers will be disciplined and the simple will become shrewd, as it is written, "And those who remain shall hear and fear." That is to say, sometimes one strikes him not for his own sake - for with him there is nothing left to be done, nothing will extract him from his affliction - but for the sake of the onlookers, for those who can still draw a lesson from it. Strike the scorner; his defenses will not help him, and at least it will benefit others.
The verse continues: "And reprove one who has understanding, and he will discern knowledge." The discerning person not only accepts reproof when you rebuke him, but also takes precautions and reflects on his own: when he sees another person stumble in a certain matter, he fears lest the same happen to him. "Yavin" (will discern) is in the sense of understanding one thing from another. There are people who need to take the blow directly in order to understand, and there are people who observe the blows others have taken and derive a lesson - they have already absorbed the message and take heed. This is the virtue of the discerning person, contrasting the two: the scorner, whom even blows will not dissuade from his path, versus the discerning person who receives, and even without direct rebuke discerns knowledge from what happens to others and avoids sin.
The Vilna Gaon explains differently. The scorner is someone who speaks idle words, mockery, flattery, and evil things. What pleasure does he derive from this? If a person eats a steak, even a forbidden one, there is no denying that there is physical pleasure. But when a person speaks disparagingly or engages in mockery, what pleasure does he have? His body derives no physical pleasure from it at all.
Therefore, says the Gra, verbal rebuke will not help him, but physical striking will. Why will verbal rebuke not help? Because rebuke is meant to persuade the intellect; tochechah (rebuke) shares a root with vikuach (debate). I want to convince you that what you are doing is wrong, but who knows better than you that it is wrong? And who knows better than you that you derive no real bodily pleasure from the corrupt things you do? When I come and tell you these things, I add nothing new, for the facts are already known to you. What then is the answer? Striking. Let him see: although I am drawn to scoffing and vanity, I am taking blows - it is simply not worth it. This is the only way the scorner will abandon his corrupt ways.
And who is the simpleton (peti)? The Gra explains that the peti is one who is seduced by the desires of his heart, and he is different from the scorner. For the scorner, what does scoffing give him? Nothing. But the simpleton says to you: I enjoy this; I derive pleasure from the sins I commit. When such a person sees you striking the scorner, he immediately "becomes shrewd" - he says to himself: What comes of my desires? What do I gain from these pleasures? They are like a fleeting shadow; all these desires yield me nothing, and even if there is pleasure, it is fleeting. Thus, when you strike the scorner who engages in scoffing with no benefit, it is the way he turns from his wicked thoughts and corrupt ways, and it is also the way the simpleton learns, takes a lesson, and stops following the desires of his heart.
The discerning person, however, needs none of this. The Gra says: no hand shall touch him. It is enough merely to rebuke him, and on his own he discerns knowledge. Here we have three levels: the scorner requires blows; the simpleton must see the scorner being struck, so that he realizes it is not worthwhile to pursue his heart's desires and sees what punishments are incurred; and for the discerning person, words alone suffice. It is enough to tell him that the path he has begun to tread is not a good one, and on his own he will discern knowledge. The Gra adds: if there is no understanding (binah), there is no knowledge (da'at), and that is why he is called a navon. This exemplifies the verse, "A rebuke enters deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred stripes into a fool" - rebuking a person who understands one thing from another and draws correct conclusions is more effective than striking a fool a hundred times.
The Malbim connects this verse with the two verses that follow it, and it is worthwhile to read all three together: "Smite a scorner, and the simple will become prudent; and reprove one who has understanding, and he will discern knowledge," "He who ruins his father and drives away his mother is a son who causes shame and disgrace," "Cease, my son, to hear instruction, and you will err from the words of knowledge." The Malbim explains that the simpleton does not reflect through logical, rational rebuke; he requires a blow - he sees the scorner being struck and learns not to follow in his path. The discerning person, however, as the Vilna Gaon explained, has no need for this; rational rebuke is sufficient for him. He is reproved logically, and he accepts it.
And with what, precisely, is he reproved? That is the next verse. He is told: Look, the shameful and disgraceful son ruins his father and drives away his mother. A son who follows an improper path brings disgrace - causing shame and great dishonor - ruining his father and driving his mother from her home. Is that what you want to become? This is rational rebuke, a logical argument: it does not pay to do bad things, for you will only cause anguish to everyone around you. Through this reasoning he is reproved, so that he will not act this way toward his parents.
מְשַׁדֶּד אָב יַבְרִיחַ אֵם, בֵּן מֵבִישׁ וּמַחְפִּיר׃ (כו) - He who ruins his father and drives away his mother is a son who causes shame and disgrace. (26)
Rashi, as is his way, interprets the verse in light of historical events. "A son who brings shame and disgrace by his ways" - because Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian mocking, dabbling in idolatry, immorality, and bloodshed, as it says there, "as it were a bowshot," shooting fiery darts. Ishmael's wicked deeds brought about his mother being cast out, which is the meaning of "drives away his mother": Avraham banished Hagar from his home following Sarah's words and the Creator's command, "Whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her voice." Who caused this? The shameful and disgraceful son drove away his mother. He also caused great anguish to his father, which is "ruins his father," for "the matter was very grievous in Avraham's eyes." You distressed your father and drove away your mother, who went and wandered in the wilderness - teaching how corrupt the actions of such a son are, and how much harm he brings upon those who bore him.
Rabbeinu Yonah explains that after discussing the virtue of rebuke, the text here describes what happens to a father and mother who do not reprove their son. God forbid, this is a landmine that will eventually detonate, and then the unpleasantness, the disgrace, and the punishment will all be yours. Previously the text spoke of the virtue of one who rebukes his son; now it warns: Know that if you fail to do so, it will blow up in your face.
And this is "ruins his father and drives away his mother": a shameful son devoid of understanding, who was never taught discernment, never disciplined, and never set upon the path of truth, brings terrible disgrace through his foolish actions. "Ruins" (meshadded) - related to robbery (shodedim), for he plunders his father's wealth and assets. Today this is seen clearly: a wealthy person has a son who squanders everything - poor business decisions, lack of judgment, profligacy. "Your father left a lot of money" - yes, and it is all gone. Sometimes he does not even wait for his father to pass away; during his father's lifetime he already treats him like an ATM: Dad, give me money; Dad, give me the car; Dad, Dad, Dad. In short, he drains the very life from his father while he is still alive. This is "ruins his father," like someone who robs his father and plunders his possessions.
Rabbeinu Yonah presents an observation that reflects an enduring reality. He writes: "Because patience is not found in women as it is in men, she will therefore flee from him and not be able to bear it." In other words, a woman's patience is more easily exhausted. A woman once came to the Steipler and said: "Honored Rabbi, my husband shouts at me constantly." He replied: "Rest assured, you are in good company." A person once approached a rabbi complaining: "Rabbi, my wife hits me." The rabbi told him: "Rest assured, even Adam HaRishon said, 'she gave me of the tree and I ate,' and the Midrash explains that she struck him. You share in the experience of Adam HaRishon - and do you know what Adam HaRishon was? He merited an elevated soul. You are a continuation of Adam HaRishon; you are fortunate." Be that as it may, Rabbeinu Yonah is saying: it is harder for a mother to endure this distress; her patience reaches its limit, and she cannot bear it.
Concerning this our Sages said: When a husband and wife merit, the Shechinah rests between them; if they do not merit, fire consumes them. Where is the Shechinah? In the letter yud that the Holy One placed in ish (man), and the letter heh that He placed in ishah (woman): eish (fire) plus yud, and eish plus heh. If Hashem causes His Shechinah to dwell, they are ish and ishah. But if there is no resting of the Shechinah, the Holy One removes the yud and the heh, and what remains? Fire and fire - a fire emerges and consumes them both, burning one another. And notice: in the word ish, the "fire extinguisher" sits between the alef and the shin - the yud interrupts the fire right in the middle, and there is no fire. For the woman, however, the word begins with eish (fire), and only afterward does the heh appear at the end - the extinguisher arrives later. Therefore, a woman may react more swiftly and lose patience sooner when something displeases her, whereas a man often has more capacity to restrain himself, hold back, and not respond immediately. This is an observable reality.
The Vilna Gaon explains this verse in a way that also sheds light on two verses in Yeshayahu. "He who ruins his father and drives away his mother" - his father he plunders inside the home, but his mother he drives completely out of her house. The father suffers disgrace, but it remains inside the home; the mother suffers disgrace to the point that she flees and leaves the house. And where is the disgrace greater? Outside, when she has been driven from her home because of the son's deeds - that is a disgrace that everyone can see.
Here the Gra asks: what is the difference between "mevish" (shaming) and "machpir" (disgracing)? We find "For they shall be ashamed of the terebinths that you desired, and you shall be disgraced by the gardens that you chose," and we find "Then the moon shall be disgraced and the sun ashamed." The Gra says: shame is hidden, while disgrace is open. Wherever shame is mentioned, the meaning is that the matter is done in secret; and a disgraceful act means that his shame and humiliation are revealed to all.
Accordingly we understand "Then the moon shall be disgraced and the sun ashamed": the moon is located in the lower firmament, and therefore its disgrace is open, "vechafra" (shall be disgraced); the sun is in the upper firmament, and therefore its shame is hidden, "uvosha hachama" (the sun shall be ashamed).
This also explains "For they shall be ashamed of the terebinths that you desired, and you shall be disgraced by the gardens that you chose." The Gra says: they had two kinds of idol worship. Either they would worship something that endures forever, such as stone or wood, and their aim was to merit eternal life in the World to Come; or they would worship something that does not endure forever but has only temporary existence, such as a lamb and any temporary force in the world, and this was for the temporary benefit of this world. Simply put: either they worshiped something enduring and asked it for abundance in the World to Come, or they worshiped something impermanent and asked it for abundance here in this world.
This is the difference between "terebinths" and "gardens": the terebinths are the trees, an enduring thing (there are trees from the six days of Creation, very ancient trees); whereas the gardens are the planting of human beings, usually vegetables, something that does not endure. Those who worship for the sake of the World to Come, where will their shame be? When they arrive there and see that the idol they worshiped is not waiting for them with a full purse, and it becomes clear to them that they invested in vanity and emptiness. Their shame will be after death, in secret. In contrast, those who worship for the sake of this world, their shame is here, when they see that they did not receive what they expected: you expected abundance, livelihood, health, success, you worked for this world and did not receive it, and this is "that you chose." But those who worship for the sake of the World to Come, everyone desires the World to Come, wicked and righteous alike want to merit a share in the World to Come, and therefore it says of them "that you desired," something that everyone desires.
From here the Gra returns to our pasuk: corresponding to "robs his father" it says "a shaming son," for shame pertains to what is hidden, and he undermines his father's life in secret. And corresponding to "drives away his mother" it says "and disgraceful," for he drives his mother out of the house, and everyone sees and asks: what happened, why did she leave the house? And they answer: her son is killing her. This is a corrupt son, a disgraceful son, whose deeds are not proper.
The Gra offers a further explanation, that the pasuk is stated as a parable. "Robs his father" refers to the Holy One, blessed be He: when a person commits sins he as it were robs the Holy One, blessed be He, as it says regarding the destruction of the Temple, "and the robbery of beasts shall terrify them" (Chavakkuk 2:17). The destruction of the Temple is as it were a robbery, for they robbed from the Holy One, blessed be He, the Beit HaMikdash, and by what power? By the power of evil deeds. And as they said: what is left for a father who exiled his children? What remains for the father at the time he exiled his children, as it were even his house did not remain to him. Behold, you have robbed the father.
"And drives away his mother": when Israel sin and do not do the will of the Omnipresent, what becomes of the Shechinah? The Shechinah went into ten exiles: from the Ark to the cherub, and from cherub to cherub, until it said "I will go and return to my first husband." Behold, there is a reality in which a person drives away the mother, and this is "and for your transgressions your mother was sent away" (and who is your mother? The holy Shechinah). By his evil deeds he drives away the Shechinah. "A shaming son" to his father in secret, "and disgraceful" to his mother before all, for the Shechinah was as it were banished from the place of the Beit HaMikdash. And indeed the Shechinah did not depart from the place of the Mikdash, but there is no doubt that this does not have that level and that height of the resting of the Shechinah that existed in the First Temple; and although in the Second Temple there was a resting of the Shechinah, it was not at the same level, and all the more so today. Behold, there is an aspect of banishing the Shechinah, and the Shechinah is as it were in shame, and this shame is revealed to all.
חֲדַל בְּנִי לִשְׁמֹעַ מוּסָר, לִשְׁגוֹת מֵאִמְרֵי דָעַת׃ (כז) - Cease, my son, to hear instruction that causes you to stray from words of knowledge. (27)
And now, says the Malbim, the verse turns to the discerning son: "Cease, my son, to hear instruction," cease from the sins, lest you be forced to hear instruction. And what is "to hear instruction" here? To receive chastisement, that is, suffering. Therefore, my son, be wise, and let it be enough for you what is spoken to you; for if speech does not suffice for you, you will be forced to receive the chastisement in actuality, through suffering, and then speech alone will no longer suffice.
And if you take "words of knowledge" to heart, and what are the words of knowledge? What I told you: see how the son corrupt in his deeds shames and disgraces his parents, and take this to your attention, through this you will turn away from the corrupt deeds of the scoffers and will not need to receive what they receive. It emerges that these three pesukim all point to a single matter, and they are a complete instruction handed to the son so that he will walk in the path of truth.
These three pesukim build a single progression. "Smite the scorner, and the simple will become prudent" - each level has its own approach: according to Rabbeinu Yonah, we strike the scorner so that those who hear will take heed, while according to the Gra the striking itself is the remedy for the scorner, who derives no pleasure from his deeds and therefore cannot be moved by rebuke of the intellect; the simpleton, who follows the desires of his heart, learns from the blows that the scorner receives that there is nothing in these desires but a passing shadow; and the discerning man needs only a word, understanding one thing from another and taking care regarding what he has seen in others. "He who robs his father and drives away his mother" - this is the intellectual rebuke presented before the discerning man: see what a corrupt son does to his parents, robbing his father in secret ("causing shame") and driving away his mother openly ("causing disgrace"), as Rashi expounded regarding Yishmael and Hagar, and as the Gra expounded by way of allegory regarding the plundering of the Beit HaMikdash and the exile of the Shechinah. And "Cease, my son, to hear instruction" - cease from the sin so that you will not need to receive chastisement; set words of knowledge upon your heart, and a word will suffice for you.