Introduction
In Chapter 19, we deal with two pesukim, each of which is an entire world of refining one's character traits: the proper attitude toward the pleasures of this world, and the proper attitude toward someone who has wronged us. The two topics are intertwined, for in both, the question is who rules over whom: the intellect over the body, or the body over the intellect.
"Delight is not fitting for a fool" - Pleasure as a Means, Not an End
לֹא נָאוֶה לִכְסִיל תַּעֲנוּג, אַף כִּי לְעֶבֶד מְשֹׁל בְּשָׂרִים׃ (י) - Delight is not fitting for a fool, much less for a servant to rule over princes.
The simple meaning of the verse: pleasure is not fitting for a fool, and how much more so is it unfitting for a servant to rule over noble and distinguished people.
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: the pleasures that the Holy One, Blessed is He, granted for man to enjoy in this world were not intended for him to chase after gratification, but rather so that through them he may maintain his health and live a good, tranquil life. Thus the Gemara says in Berachot 57b: "These too are for the wise" - a pleasant home, a pleasant wife, and pleasant vessels expand a person's mind. A pleasant home, a pleasant wife, and pleasant utensils are pleasures, but their purpose is to broaden a person's mind, so that he has the mental tranquility to engage in Torah and fulfill the mitzvot. By contrast, a person who lives in dire poverty, constantly scraping for pennies, struggling daily, and living in a crumbling house - all of these do not allow him peace of mind for Torah, and he is perpetually troubled by material worries.
Therefore, Rabbeinu Yonah says, when a person partakes of physical pleasures, it should all lead toward the service of Hashem. It should not be for the sake of enjoyment and pleasure as an end in itself, but rather to channel those pleasures into the service of Hashem. Now we can understand: "Delight is not fitting for a fool," because the fool pursues pleasure purely for pleasure's sake; the service of Hashem is not at all his concern. Why, then, does he desire pleasure? Solely for self-gratification and for this world.
A simple example: "Turn on the air conditioner." Why? When the air conditioner is on, one can learn with greater ease, in quiet and peace of mind. When there is no air conditioning, it is hot, and one is constantly looking for ways to cool off and feels uncomfortable. With air conditioning, one can learn peacefully. Rav Chaim Kanievsky said after an air conditioner was installed for him that had he known how much better one could learn Torah with air conditioning, he would have installed it many years earlier. For years he had no air conditioner.
The Steipler, on the other hand, did not want even a fan. Why? Because he did not use electricity on Shabbat, following the ruling of the Chazon Ish, but rather kerosene lamps. He said: If I have no fan on Shabbat, should I have greater physical pleasure on a weekday than on Shabbat? Should I sit and learn on Shabbat and say, "When will Shabbat finally end so we can turn on a fan?" That is the sensitivity of a great man. Therefore, he learned in the intense heat of Bnei Brak without even a fan. However, weakness has descended upon the world, and greater heat has also descended upon the world. The Steipler lived before melting glaciers, before global warming and the ozone hole. Meteorologists say that temperatures have risen by several degrees over the past century, so the warming is not an illusion. The reality today is that it is difficult for a person to learn without air conditioning. If the air conditioning is meant to enable him to learn with tranquility and ease - that is wonderful; one has used pleasure for the sake of serving Hashem. But if one turned on the air conditioner just to play backgammon longer without getting tired and sweaty - "Delight is not fitting for a fool." Why was this pleasure brought into play? For trivialities?
One Who is Drawn After Pleasures is Drawn After Transgressions
The fool seeks pleasure only to satisfy his lust, and furthermore: when a person is drawn after pleasures, he is eventually drawn after prohibitions. This is true not only of an evil person. Who was greater among those drawn after pleasures than Rabbi Elazar ben Arach? The Gemara relates that he went to Dyomsit, a place of beautiful waters, drank from them, was drawn after the pleasures, and forgot all his Torah learning. It went so far that when he was called up to the Torah, instead of reading "Hachodesh hazeh lachem rosh chodashim" (This month shall be for you the head of months), he misread it as "Hacheresh haya libam" (Their heart had become deaf), hinting that his heart had, as it were, grown deaf and unfeeling.
It is hard to comprehend: Rabbi Elazar ben Arach, about whom it was said that if all the sages of Israel were on one scale of the balance, including the greatest among them, and Rabbi Elazar ben Arach was on the other, he would outweigh them all. We have no grasp of what a great man of that stature is. Imagine: the Chafetz Chaim, the Ben Ish Chai, the Vilna Gaon, and everyone else on one side, and he on the other outweighs them all! And yet, he reached a state where he forgot all his Torah, and the sages of Israel had to pray for him so that his learning would return to him. Through what did this happen? Through being drawn after the desires of this world. And not through a sin, Heaven forbid - but through beautiful waters, a place of springs with water pleasant for bathing and drinking, an attraction to the pleasures of this world. The Gemara recounts that he told his wife he would go to his disciples to teach them Torah, but she told him that the students must come to the master, not the master to the students, and whoever wants the master will come to him. He waited for the students to arrive, but they did not come; consequently, he was drawn to the pleasant waters, and as a result, everything that happened unfolded.
From here, Rabbeinu Yonah explains: when a person is drawn after physical matter, he distances himself from the paths of the soul and wisdom, as it is written: "And Yeshurun grew fat and kicked" (Devarim 32:15), and "Lest you eat and be satisfied... and your heart grow haughty, and you forget" (Devarim 8:12-14). You see that through the pleasures of this world, one forgets the Torah. His wording is sharp: when the fool is drawn after pleasures, he is likened to beasts. For the soul of an animal merely eats and drinks, and one who pursues pleasures purely for pleasure's sake, rather than as a vehicle for the service of Hashem - what difference is there between him and an animal? An animal also takes everything it can enjoy from the matters of this world. The proper way is to take from the pleasures of this world only those things that will lead a person to the service of Hashem and the fear of Hashem.
"אַף כִּי לְעֶבֶד מְשֹׁל בְּשָׂרִים" ("Much less for a servant to rule over princes") - Honor Is More Precious Than Pleasures
Rabbeinu Yonah adds: all the more so, it is not fitting for a servant to rule over princes, as it is unfitting for a slave to dominate nobles and distinguished figures. Why is this an a fortiori argument (kal vachomer)? Because honor is more precious than physical pleasure. Honor is the most precious pleasure there is, because honor is a spiritual pleasure, and something spiritual is always higher than something physical. Therefore, honor knows no satiety: no matter how much people honor you, you will always want more; no one ever says, "Enough, I have had plenty." In contrast, when it comes to eating - you eat, you become full, and when offered more, you say, "Enough, I cannot eat any more." A physical thing is limited, whereas honor, which is spiritual, is limitless, and therefore man constantly craves more and more of it.
The Mesillat Yesharim writes similarly: man's primary ambition and the central engine driving all his actions is the matter of honor. Freud claimed that the engine is libido, desire, physical lust - and he has already been widely disputed, with modern psychology no longer accepting his view either. In any event, the Mesillat Yesharim explains that the foundation around which man directs all his actions stems from the pursuit of honor.
One of the Chassidic Rebbes once remarked about himself, out of genuine humility: "Know that honor is the greatest lust of all. When a tisch is held, a large fish is brought before the Rebbe; the Rebbe eats a small piece and distributes the rest to the Chassidim." The Rebbe said: "To tell the truth, when they serve the fish, I feel like finishing the entire thing myself! But what an embarrassment that would be - 'Did you see that? The Rebbe devoured the whole fish and left nothing for the Chassidim!' " He noted: "See how the desire for honor overcomes the desire for food! The craving for food says, 'Finish the fish,' while the craving for honor says, 'No, what a disgrace, what will the Chassidim say?' " A person is willing to give up a great deal, but he will not give up his honor. This is what Rabbeinu Yonah means when he says that honor is far more precious than physical pleasures.
By the way, it is written that one who receives great honor in this world should be very worried that little remains for him in the World to Come. As the Chafetz Chaim remarked, honor is the kugel of the World to Come: a woman who bakes a kugel for Shabbat will not allow it to be eaten on Friday, because someone who eats the Shabbat kugel on Friday will have no kugel left for Shabbat. Similarly, one who receives honor here will arrive in the World to Come and discover that one has to work for honor - but he already received his share here! Why specifically honor? Because honor is a spiritual pleasure, and the World to Come consists of spiritual pleasures; thus, he was already paid off in this world with spiritual currency. Therefore, "It is not fitting... for a servant to rule over princes": honor is a precious pleasure, and it is unfitting to give such a precious thing to someone unworthy of it, someone on the level of a servant - and all the more so to strip it from those deserving of honor and grant it to base individuals.
Another Explanation in Rabbeinu Yonah: Subduing the Soul Is Fitting for a Fool
Rabbeinu Yonah adds that "Delight is not fitting for a fool" can also be explained as: subduing the soul is what is fitting for a fool. It is proper for the fool to humble his pride and distance himself from pleasures. "Much less for a servant to rule over princes" - for lowliness is fitting for a servant, and honor is fitting for princes. Just as lowliness is appropriate for a slave and honor is appropriate for nobles, so too is it appropriate for a fool to subdue his pride and his pleasures.
And the reasoning is very compelling: if a distinguished person indulges in pleasures, there is a good chance he will know how to harness them for the service of Hashem. But if he is a fool, the likelihood that he will be drawn after the desires of his heart into sin is far greater. Therefore, as long as you have not learned Torah and have not attained spiritual standing, stay far away from worldly pleasures, for you can easily be swept away by them. If you were greater in Torah - although there is no absolute guarantee, as we saw with Rabbi Elazar ben Arach - at the very least, there is a much greater chance that the Torah and mussar you learned will form a protective fence around you, and you will harness those pleasures solely for the service of Hashem.
The Malbim's Explanation: Who Is the Prince and Who Is the Servant
The Malbim explains according to his consistent approach, along the line we have seen throughout the entire book: a *kesil* is not an *evil* (a senseless fool), nor is he simply stupid. The *kesil* knows the rules of wisdom, but his heart overpowers him and his passions master him. He can be a professor, a doctor, a university dean, highly educated - and yet he follows the desires of his heart. Such a person is termed a *kesil*.
The Malbim says: the *kesil*, overwhelmed by desire, does not seek in his physical pursuits a way to draw closer to the service of Hashem; rather, he pursues them purely as lust and gratification. Therefore, "Delight is not fitting for a fool" - for even though the body delights, the soul suffers, because physical indulgence ultimately comes at the expense of spirituality, and you make the body rule over the soul. That is, you fulfill the will of the body rather than the will of the soul. The soul yearns for spirituality, for immersion in Torah and the performance of mitzvot, yet you are drawn after pleasures and grant physical matter dominion over the spiritual core within you.
From this itself, the Malbim explains, we can understand why it is unfitting for a servant to rule over princes. If we examine who is the prince and who is the servant - the intellect or the body - it is clear that the intellect is the prince and the body is the servant. For the intellect is meant to employ the servant, the body, to perform Hashem's will, guiding the body to carry out the will of the Blessed Creator. But if one does not do so, and instead the servant-body becomes independent, following the lusts of its heart and not listening to what the intellect tells it, the result is that a servant rules over princes. Therefore, "Luxury is not fitting for a fool": Do you know what you are doing in such a case? You are placing dominion over princes into the hands of the servant. You have given dominion to the body, which was meant to be a servant to the intellect, and made it ruler over the prince.
The Vilna Gaon: "A Servant Who Reigns"
The Vilna Gaon explains why luxury is truly not fitting for a fool: because when a fool's pleasures and desires are fulfilled, he imagines that he rules the entire world, that there is none beside him. He has everything, he has sated his desires, and he imagines he is riding high and ruling over everyone. How much more so is it unfitting for a base servant to rule, and over princes! As scripture says, "For three things the earth trembles," and one of them is "a servant when he reigns." You see that this is a deeply disgraceful thing, for a servant does not possess the capacity for kingship, and when he reigns, he does so in a despicable manner, devoid of derech eretz and proper leadership. Therefore, it is certainly neither appropriate nor fitting.
"A Man's Wisdom Defers His Anger" - Between Intellect and Glory
שֵׂכֶל אָדָם הֶאֱרִיךְ אַפּוֹ, וְתִפְאַרְתּוֹ עֲבֹר עַל פָּשַׁע׃ (יא) - A man's wisdom makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to pass over an offense. (11)
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: When a person is slow to anger, meaning he does not retaliate immediately and does not take vengeance on the spot, it is a sign that he possesses intellect. Once a person has sense, he learns and understands that one must not react impulsively, and he trains himself to be patient. But pay attention - this is not yet the pinnacle of virtue. Why? Because without a doubt, a sensible person holds back his anger for his own benefit. He knows that if he acts out of wrath and fury, it will be flawed and mistaken, causing him damage later on, and that it is a dangerous trap - if you react out of raw emotion and anger, the other party will strike back twofold. That is not the way. Therefore, even though reason dictates acting this way, one deserves no special credit for it and should not be praised for it, since he does it for his own benefit and honor. To react drastically is simple foolishness, and between us, if you have any sense, you know it will only hurt you.
In what, then, is it fitting for a person to take glory? This is the conclusion of the verse: "and it is his glory to pass over an offense." When a person rises above his natural instincts and pardons his fellow's offense and sin, that is true glory; that is something genuinely worthy of praise. You overlook it, you forgive. But merely being patient and holding back from vengeance requires only a bit of common sense and self-preservation - not wanting humiliation, embarrassment, and harm - to restrain yourself. There is no glory in that. Glory is when you bear the offenses and sins of your fellows and hold no grudge against them.
The Vilna Gaon: Forgiveness in the Heart
The Vilna Gaon explains this based on the verse "He who is quick-tempered acts foolishly," something that is clear to all of us. A person who is quick-tempered - today we use the expression "a short fuse" - who explodes and lashes out over every small thing, will undoubtedly do foolish and senseless things. Unfortunately, we see this even among great scholars, even among men of science and intellect. You see a person act, and you say: this person acted out of raw emotion and momentary feelings, causing severe harm to himself. He sat and spoke with those close to him against someone: he does this, he has no shame, he is an ingrate - extremely harsh words. Later, those words leak out, and what embarrassment, what disgrace! Go try to deny it: "I didn't say that," "my words were taken out of context," "that was not my intention," and all kinds of excuses that do not hold water. Terrible humiliation - and all because he was quick-tempered and did not think about what he was doing. The word apayim refers to the nose, and the nose signifies anger: his fury flares up quickly, and therefore he acts foolishly. But someone who is wise will not commit folly, and that is "a man's wisdom makes him slow to anger," the exact opposite of the quick-tempered person who acts foolishly.
And on the words "and it is his glory," the Vilna Gaon says something truly wonderful, which could indeed also be incorporated into the words of Rabbeinu Yonah we saw earlier: The glory does not lie merely in being slow to anger, in refraining from vengeance, from retaliation, from speaking against him, and from harming him as he might have deserved. The glory is if you have subdued your anger in your heart as well, if you have passed over his offense in your heart as well. That is someone who rises above his instincts, and that is "it is his glory to pass over an offense" - when a person forgives with complete forgiveness in his heart.
It is easy for us to say these things, but we must realize that they are extremely difficult to implement. A person may contain the turbulent feelings raging inside him and his burning desire to retaliate against his fellow; he holds back somehow, he swallows his pride. Yet very few are truly capable of doing the internal work within themselves to completely eradicate the anger. For the very fact that we managed not to react gives us a sense of pride: what a hero you are, well done, how you restrained yourself, what a tzaddik you are - he deserved to be torn apart, yet you stayed silent! But deep inside, we are seething: "What a corrupt person he is!" To truly overlook the offense - who even thinks of doing that? That is why the Vilna Gaon says: This is true greatness, that within your very heart, you are capable of overlooking it and granting him complete forgiveness.
The Malbim's Explanation: Laws of Wisdom
The Malbim explains: "The intellect of a man defers his anger" - it is the way of intellect and understanding that a person does not take revenge immediately, but rather is slow to anger, as we have seen: "He who is slow to anger is of great understanding" and "a man of understanding holds his peace," whereas "he who is quick-tempered acts foolishly." And this is what it says here: simple intellect dictates this. Anyone with a bit of sense in his head understands that one must be slow to anger; even if he wants to take revenge, and even if his fellow hurt him and he wishes to retaliate, an intelligent person understands that he must be slow to anger.
But to overlook an offense - this the Malbim defines as belonging to "the laws of wisdom." This is similar to what the Vilna Gaon explained, but here there is an addition: this is the glory of man from the perspective of the Divine wisdom within him, from the perspective of religion and the command of God, and in this it is truly worthy to take pride. Why? Because this is true inner work. And we tend to engage in external efforts, because they are visible to all. Inner work - laboring deep within ourselves - is not the kind of thing we persist in, for no one will award us a medal of honor or appreciate us for it. For silence, people will appreciate us greatly: "Good for you, you held your tongue, I really respect you." And sometimes we also keep silent because it brings us great honor. But true glory, the glory of man, is from the laws of wisdom: by virtue of having Divine knowledge and wisdom within him - that he completely erase from within himself all hatred and all resentment toward the one who wronged him.
An Important Qualification: The Halachic Plane and the Emotional Plane
It is important to emphasize: when we speak of a person needing to pardon and forgive, the Chazon Ish says that this does not apply at all to a halachic matter such as a monetary claim. If someone wronged me, seized land from me, damaged my property, or caused me distress - I am not obligated to forgive. Whatever I can claim from him legally and halachically, according to Din Torah, I am permitted to claim, and there is no obligation here to forego and waive one's rights. To be sure, one who foregoes and pardons even when visibly wronged undoubtedly walks in the path of the good and performs an act of piety, and "trustworthy is your Employer to pay you the reward of your labor," and to such people the Holy One, blessed be He, will grant double and redoubled reward. But to say that the Torah demands this of me - absolutely not.
A second point: at times there are malicious people who, seeing that we restrain ourselves, develop an even greater appetite to harm and hurt us repeatedly, because they saw that the initial injury achieved its goal and we did not react. Here, there is certainly an added reason not to exercise restraint, but rather to take whatever firm action is permitted by Halachah in order to prevent this person from continuing to harm me.
However, one must be very careful. A person once came to Rabbi Yisrael Salanter and told him there was a terrible breach that had to be protested, and that they must go out and demonstrate. Rabbi Yisrael listened, agreed with him, and said: "Listen, you are right. But I ask of you - you are right, make sure you remain right." Through this we once explained the verse "Justice, justice shall you pursue": justice itself must also be pursued justly. Sometimes we set out to fight against someone who wronged us or wronged the Torah, and then we lose our boundaries and feel that all means are justified: we may defame him, speak lashon hara about him, ruin his reputation - "This person is not a human being; anything is permitted against him after what he did." My friend, you began with justice, but you did not remain just.
Therefore, one must know: even what we are permitted to do against a person in response to what he did to us must be done within the bounds of Halachah. Lashon hara - I have no permission to speak about him. And it is highly advisable to say in your heart, when taking him to Beit Din or taking any other permitted action: I am suing him so that he repays the damage, but if he does not repay me - I forgive. And this is advisable for anyone who holds an uncollectible debt: I do not waive the debt if he repays it, but if the debt will never be repaid, I forgive it. Why? Because truly, I gain nothing from this person having to reincarnate in another lifetime, and at most it would result in having to bring me back as well so he can repay me, and I certainly have no desire for that.
Thus, we must distinguish between two planes. On the halachic plane - there one may exhaust every available measure to recover what is due and to prevent this person from causing harm in the future. But on the emotional plane - there one must be exceedingly careful not to be swept away. For us it is very easy: someone wronged us, and we declare total war against him - he is a troubler of Israel, he must be undone by every means, we speak endless lashon hara about him at home with our spouse and children, we ostracize him, despise him, humiliate him. This is entirely negative. Even if your claim is permitted - be careful to remain within the boundaries of Halachah, and do not let raw emotion take over.
Concession Is Not a Loss
There is a story of a man, a Jew from Bnei Brak, right opposite whose porch someone built an entirely illegal extension. That Jew was a righteous person and did nothing: he did not complain to the municipality or do anything else; he restrained himself. Several years passed, and that same builder became acquainted with a Rosh Yeshivah who was looking for a mashgiach and was willing to pay a very generous salary, provided the candidate was an upright man. He told him: "I have a neighbor living across from me, a true ben Torah and God-fearing man. And if you want to know how refined his character is and how suited he is to serve as a spiritual mashgiach in a yeshivah - I built an addition right in front of his face, and he never uttered a word. For years, he never once asked me why I blocked his air, shut out his light, and prevented him from breathing. He said nothing at all." They hired that man to be the mashgiach in the yeshivah, and he earned a salary that, after a few years, enabled him to move to a new apartment. We see from this that a person never loses from conceding, and the Holy One, blessed be He, has many ways to reward a person in other avenues.
In Summary:
The two verses before us teach who ought to rule over whom. "Pleasure is not fitting for a fool": pleasures were given to expand a person's mind for the service of Hashem, and one who pursues them as an end in themselves makes the body-servant master over the intellect-minister, becoming drawn after physical matter until he forgets his Torah, as happened even to Rabbi Elazar ben Arach. And all the more so with honor, which is the most precious and insatiable of all pleasures, that it is unfitting to bestow upon one who is undeserving of it. And "The intellect of a man defers his anger": outward restraint is merely simple intellect and self-interest, whereas true glory is "to overlook an offense" - erasing all resentment from the heart and granting complete forgiveness. Even so, on the halachic plane there is no obligation to waive monetary claims or refrain from self-defense, provided that we pursue justice justly, within the boundaries of Halachah, and without being swept away by emotion. And ultimately, a person never loses by conceding.