Before us is a passage from Chapter 19 of Mishlei, containing two verses, each of which is an entire world: the verse dealing with a person who stumbles through his own folly and then hurls complaints against Heaven, and the verse dealing with friendship that depends on money. We will follow the order of the verses, cite the insights of Rabbeinu Yonah, the Vilna Gaon, and the Malbim, and see how these two verses directly touch our daily lives.
A Man's Folly Subverts His Way - and the Complaint Against Heaven
אִוֶּלֶת אָדָם תְּסַלֵּף דַּרְכּוֹ וְעַל ה' יִזְעַף לִבּוֹ׃ (פסוק ג) - A man's folly subverts his way, and his heart rages against Hashem. (Verse 3)
A person finds himself in trouble, and now he is angry at the Holy One, Blessed be He, questioning the attribute of justice. Much like the brothers of Yosef: following how Yosef gave them the runaround, they said, "What is this that God has done to us?" Has God done this? What have we done to ourselves! We brought this upon ourselves by acting improperly. Yet against whom was their anger directed? Against the Master of the Universe.
Rabbeinu Yonah: Haste is the Root of Failure
Rabbeinu Yonah explains that this verse is a direct continuation of what is said before it:
גַּם בְּלֹא דַעַת נֶפֶשׁ לֹא טוֹב וְאָץ בְּרַגְלַיִם חוֹטֵא׃ (פסוק ב) - Also, for a soul to be without knowledge is not good, and one who hastens with his feet sins. (Verse 2)
When a person does not reflect upon his ways, but acts out of haste, without thought or contemplation, and is not meticulous about his deeds, he will inevitably stumble into sin. Rashness causes a person to fail in his actions, because he does not weigh his steps. "And one who hastens with his feet sins" - through this haste a person comes to sin. And this is also "Also, for a soul to be without knowledge is not good": a person should not act without knowledge, but rather act with mindfulness, with dedication of heart and mind, reflecting upon what he does.
And regarding this the verse says: "A man's folly subverts his way." This person hastened with his feet, acted rashly, and consequently committed acts of foolishness. He did not examine his deeds to see whether they were proper or not, and made a mistake. And it was this folly that brought about his downfall and ruin. Why were you in such a rush? Stop, reflect, seek counsel - perhaps what you are doing is wrong! You acted foolishly and rashly, and then your way was subverted: you stumbled, you fell, your bones were broken, you suffered financial loss, you declined spiritually - all because of your own folly. And afterward, "and his heart rages against Hashem," and his heart thinks that no iniquity will be found in him. "What, did I do something wrong?" But the truth is that he hastened with his feet, rushed to act rashly, did things that should never have been done, and that is what subverted his way.
His Intentions Are Desirable, but His Deeds Are Not
And there are those, says Rabbeinu Yonah, whose intention is desirable, but whose deeds are not desirable. "But I meant well!" True, your intention was desirable, but your deeds were not. The meaning is: the road to Gehinnom is paved with good intentions. A person hears that someone suffered a severe financial collapse, and immediately jumps up and says: "Gentlemen, we must help him, I am organizing a fundraising drive." However, no one knew about his collapse, and the matter only reached your ears so that you could help him discretely. And what did you do? You publicized his downfall, humiliated him, and two hours later his storefront and all his warehouses were cleaned out, because he had creditors, and everyone heard that so-and-so went under and rushed to seize whatever they could before nothing remained. "But I meant well; I only wanted people to help him!" The road to Gehinnom is paved with good intentions. Therefore, coming and claiming "my intentions were good" is not enough: Why did you hasten with your feet? Before taking such action, pause and reflect - does he need this kind of help? Does he want to be helped in this manner? Does he want his plight publicized, or should it remain confidential? Your intention was desirable, but your deeds were not desirable, and through this his way is subverted.
The Vilna Gaon: Do Not Leap Beyond Your Level
The Vilna Gaon explains this verse in a wonderful way. "One who comes to purify himself is granted assistance," yet sometimes a person begins to learn Torah and perform mitzvos, and then quits because it becomes extremely difficult for him, feeling that he is not being helped. And so his heart rages against Hashem: Why didn't they help me?
Ask almost any baal teshuvah, and he will tell you: at the beginning of the journey, I saw lights. But then suddenly - boom, crash, a slap in the face, a blow, things stopped working out, then came immense difficulty, then I couldn't even utter a word of prayer with proper intent, followed by spiritual falls. Where did all those initial lights go? The floodlights all went dark. And he feels anger toward the Master of the Universe: Why didn't they assist me?
In truth, however, says the Vilna Gaon, this stems from his own folly, for a person must proceed according to his own level and not jump ahead. Then he will walk securely on his path and will indeed receive divine assistance. This is a tremendous principle. Many times, spiritual falls occur because one jumped too high, and many times crises arise because one attempted a sudden leap to a level that was not his own. Therefore, the verse says: this was your own foolishness, so why do you rage against Hashem? You should have advanced gradually, step by step.
From sins, of course, a person must separate immediately. But in mitzvos, do not think that after two weeks you have become the tzaddik of the generation, undertaking fasts, rolling in the snow, and immersing four times a day, more than the Kohen Gadol. And then you say: look, everyone is in my way, my parents at home object, my wife is threatening divorce, the family is falling apart. Who told you to leap ahead like that? You quit your job, went off, and said, "That is it, I am staying at the tomb of Rashbi all day, reciting Tehillim and Idras." Who asked this of you? If you had gone and asked a Torah sage, he would have told you: my friend, keep your job, set fixed times for Torah study, go to a shiur for one hour every day, and then add a little more, and then a little more. You jumped so high, and suddenly everything collapsed. And of course it collapsed, because you took a path you should not have taken. "A man's foolishness perverts his way" - that is the folly you committed, "and his heart rages against Hashem."
The Malbim: The Evil Is the Man of "Maybe"
The Malbim explains that the Holy One, blessed be He, equipped man and created him in such a way that he can choose good and choose life, as it says, "and you shall choose life." We have the ability to fulfill Hashem's will by virtue of the close guidance the Master of the Universe provided for us in the holy Torah: direction for every step of life, what to do, in what manner, and how to conduct oneself. And if you cannot discern it on your own in the Torah, approach the Torah scholars who know how to learn Torah, and they will explain to you how to act at every single step.
As long as a person believes in the Torah, believes in Hashem's statutes, and believes in the words of the Sages, he will walk on the straight path and will not harbor resentment toward the Holy One, blessed be He. He will not complain: Master of the Universe, why did You create me with an attraction to evil? Why did You create me with a desire to commit sins? Why? Because he walks closely aligned with the Torah.
Notice how the Malbim remains faithful to his consistent definition of iveles (folly). The kesil (fool) may be very knowledgeable, but his desires drag him down and he cannot master them. The evil, by contrast, is someone who casts doubt on everything - the quintessential skeptic: Who says? What is the proof? How can I know for sure? What makes it necessary? Why am I obligated? For him, everything is "maybe," and indeed the word evil shares its root with ulai, "perhaps."
And where does all the trouble begin? From "the foolishness of man" - this is attributed to you by virtue of your human frailties. Had you gone to the wise and discerning, they would have shown you that there is no room to doubt the words of the Torah, nor to question the words of wisdom. When you believe in the Torah, you have no complaints or unresolved doubts against the Master of the Universe; you know that Hashem is truth and His Torah is truth. It all began with questions, from doubting the Torah: why does Hashem do this, and why did Hashem do that? All such questions stem from skepticism regarding the words of the Torah. But one who possesses complete faith in the words of the Torah has no questions at all; he walks with integrity and walks securely. Thus, "the foolishness of man" - all this constant second-guessing of "maybe" - is what perverted his way, and consequently, "his heart rages against Hashem." Believe in the Torah; do not be among the people of "maybe," but rather among the people of certainty, confident in the Torah of truth, and you will see how all your questions vanish.
Wealth Adds Many Friends
הוֹן יֹסִיף רֵעִים רַבִּים וְדָל מֵרֵעֵהוּ יִפָּרֵד׃ (פסוק ד) - Wealth adds many friends, but a poor man is separated from his companion. (Verse 4)
This verse speaks for itself even without any commentary. If you have wealth, you have many friends; this is reality, plain and simple. Conversely, if you are poor, you have no friends; nobody acknowledges you, and if someone spots you, he crosses to the parallel street. "A poor man is separated from his companion" - even someone who was once his companion makes every effort to distance himself from him.
Yet the Malbim reveals a deeper layer here. If one sees that a wealthy person has many companions, one should not envy him or say: "Look how beloved this person is, how many friends he has!" Tell me, asks the Malbim, are they companions of *him*, or companions of his wealth? When someone attaches himself to a wealthy man, is it because his name is "Mr. Tshuva," or because his wealth holds the answer (teshuvah) to many of his problems? It is obvious to all: a person knows which side his bread is buttered on. He sees a rich man and thinks, who knows, maybe he will appoint me CEO on one of his corporate boards. He is not a friend of the person himself, for the person does not truly interest him, and were it not for the money, he would not give him a second look. He befriended him because he has money; thus, he is a friend to the money, not to the man. The Malbim explains: they are not companions of the rich man, but companions of his wealth, for wealth is what adds many companions. Just as money increases, so too companionship increases.
Rabbeinu Yonah adds: even if he had no companions before, as a result of the money - once he becomes rich - suddenly he sees how many friends he has. "Do you remember me? I was in high school with your brother." Which brother? Which high school? But he heard that you won the lottery, that you are sitting on millions, and suddenly he remembers that he is your friend: "We used to play hopscotch in the street together, don't you remember?" How long ago was that? Forty-odd years ago, fifty-odd years ago! Suddenly he becomes your friend, because of the money, drawn by his wealth.
Who Is a "Dal"?
It is well known that the Malbim explains that a dal is someone who was once wealthy and became poor. Among the Hebrew terms for poverty, there are dal, rash, ani, mach, and evyon, each with distinct definitions. A dal is one who has been depleted (niddaldal) of his assets. Incidentally, the most destitute of them all is the evyon, who yearns (mita'aveh) for everything, as if even a single penny cannot satisfy him and he longs for it all. In any case, a dal is one who once had wealth and was separated from his money, losing it in a bad deal. And just as he was separated from his wealth, so too he is separated from all his companions: those who until now were your friends and companions have separated from you.
"Most Friendship and Love Is Self-Love"
And why? These are the words of the Malbim: most friendship and love is self-love, and depends on the wealth from which benefit is anticipated. This is a profound, earth-shattering statement. Why were they your friends? Because you had money. And why did they attach themselves to you? Because they hoped to gain from the wealth you possessed. Once you have no wealth, you are of no interest whatsoever.
And how true this is. To whom do we attach ourselves? To someone whose company we enjoy. Why is he my friend? Because I feel good around him. Not because this person needs help and I want to be there so that someone stands by his side when he needs me. Do you know anyone like that? "Why did you marry her?" Was it because this woman needed a husband to care for her and support her? Is that why you married? "I married her because I feel good with her, because I believe she can fulfill my needs, that she is suitable to be my wife and keep me company." Every love between one person and another, as the Malbim plainly states, is self-interested: I am with you not because it is good for you, but because it is good for me when I am with you.
And do not think it is any different for the wife. She, too, did not marry out of pure altruism, but because you will care for her and support her - so she expects - and treat her with respect, and be a good father to her children. Everything is "for me." This, incidentally, is the reason crises arise shortly after marriage: I was sure you were here for me, and you were sure I was here for you, and suddenly it turns out there are conflicting interests. I want one thing, and you want something else. If people would at least think that they are here to succeed together, there would be a far greater chance. But since from the outset the entire relationship was intended to benefit me, and in your view to benefit you, it suddenly turns out that the transaction is not yielding the desired dividends, and that the other side is even making demands on me. "I didn't plan for this - that I would also have to make an effort for her and incur expenses!"
However, if a person realizes that we have come together to build a home, and a home is built by each side conceding something of their own - like a knot in a rope, which can only be tied when both sides give some slack, whereas if neither is willing to loosen their end, a knot can never be formed - if that is the approach and mindset, there is a far greater chance of building something that will endure. But because most friendship and love is self-love, the moment a person loses his wealth, "the impoverished person is separated from his companion": friends no longer find any interest in associating with someone who has become impoverished.
The Vilna Gaon: Wealth of Torah
The Vilna Gaon explains the verse by way of homiletic allusion (remez) as well. When a person is rich in Torah, this wealth adds many companions to him, for he studies with many people and brings merit to the public. But one who is impoverished in Torah, even his companion separates from him. And here we are not speaking merely of casual companions, but in the beit midrash and the kollel: if he is impoverished in Torah, no one approaches him. What would anyone ask him - a source? A question in Halachah? "Perhaps you could explain this to me, I didn't understand this line"? He is poor in Torah, and therefore his peers separate from him. One can even explain "his companion separates from him" as referring to his chavrusa (study partner), who tells him: "Next zman (semester), find yourself another partner; I have already set something up with someone else." Why? Because he is poor in Torah - he does not exert himself, does not toil, does not persevere.
Conversely, one who studies diligently - you see him in yeshivah, during seder, in kollel, everywhere - there is always a beehive around him. People come and ask him: "What is the simple meaning here? Explain that to me. How do we understand the Rashba? How can this be, when he seemingly contradicts himself?" They constantly approach him because he is rich in Torah. Today, among the gedolim of Israel, each one has an attendant (mashbak), but in the past, there was no such thing. Decades ago, if someone wanted to go into the Steipler, he could walk in at eleven o'clock in the morning, open the door - no one was guarding the house - and find him sitting with the Gemara before his eyes, learning. A person could simply approach, ask what he wished, and leave. Does such a thing exist today? There were designated receiving hours for Rav Chaim Kanievsky, and even during those hours it was not always possible to enter; an appointment had to be made in advance, and most who arrived did not manage to get in. "Wealth adds many companions" - and those companions leave the rich in Torah no rest, to the point that boundaries must be established so that people do not disrupt them from their Torah study.
Companions in the World to Come
The Vilna Gaon offers an additional explanation: When a person is rich in Torah, he continually adds many companions for himself in the World to Come. And how wonderful this is! When you learn Torah, what have you created? A holy angel, an advocate. With every engagement in Torah study, another advocate and another angel are formed; you create countless angels from your labor in Torah. When you arrive Above, you will see how many companions you have: entire hosts of angels created from your Torah study. These are the "many companions." The wealth of Torah adds many companions with every single word that comes forth from his mouth.
However, for one who is impoverished in Torah, even his companion is separated from him. And who is "his companion"? His neshamah. By becoming impoverished in Torah, he comes to all kinds of transgression, even incurring karet (spiritual excision), and as a result, his companion - his neshamah - is severed from him. He loses even the spiritual portion that belonged to him. In contrast, if he possesses wealth and is rich in Torah, it will add many companions to him, and still more angels will gather in his shade.
In summary: The two verses before us teach two great fundamentals. The first: "A man's foolishness perverts his way, and his heart frets against Hashem" - before hurling grievances toward Heaven, examine whether you yourself rushed hastily, acted rashly, jumped beyond your level, or doubted the words of the Torah. Good intentions do not exempt one from forethought, and spiritual elevation must be achieved gradually, according to each person's individual level. The second: "Wealth adds many companions, but the poor man is separated from his friend" - do not envy the many companions surrounding the wealthy man, for they are companions of the wealth, not of the man, and most companionship and love in this world is nothing more than self-love. Only one who builds a relationship based on concession and giving creates an enduring bond, and only true wealth, the wealth of Torah, acquires genuine companions for a person in this world and advocating angels in the World to Come.