The Malbim binds the three verses before us in a tight thematic link, developing from them a complete progression. Shlomo HaMelech, the wisest of all men, who judged Israel for many years, comes to teach us a great rule: when you reach a situation of legal litigation, when you are about to stand before judges - my recommendation to you is, do not pursue strict judgment; seek a compromise. The loss far outweighs the gain. And if there is a dispute and no agreement, and you ask how to resolve the problem, to this he tells you: in such a situation, cast lots. Through the lot you can decide a matter that is in doubt, a matter where there is no clear resolution.
צַדִּיק הָרִאשׁוֹן בְּרִיבוֹ וּבָא רֵעֵהוּ וַחֲקָרוֹ׃ (יז) - "The first to state his case seems right, until his fellow comes and cross-examines him." (17)
Even so, if you still insist on litigating, and you are certain: "This is an open-and-shut case; I consulted the best lawyers, I consulted the greatest dayanim, and they told me I am one hundred percent in the right" - nevertheless, do not rush to beit din. For indeed, "the first to state his case seems right" - you go in with the feeling that you are entirely justified and correct, but you do not know what claims the opposing side will present. "Until his fellow comes and cross-examines him." When you consult a lawyer, or l'havdil a dayan, what does he hear? Only you. But once he hears the other side, he might say to you: "Wait, do not rush. This is a complex legal issue, there is genuine doubt here, and if the other party argues such-and-such, he could undermine the very foundations upon which your claims are built." You came with excessive confidence and failed to take into account that another person will stand opposite you and present his arguments. Therefore, slow down; do not rush into beit din or court.
מִדְיָנִים יַשְׁבִּית הַגּוֹרָל וּבֵין עֲצוּמִים יַפְרִיד׃ (יח) - "The lot settles disputes, and separates between powerful contenders." (18)
"Medyonim" (disputes) is an expression that appears frequently in Mishlei, from the root of madon - strife and quarrel. Is there a quarrel? The lot puts an end to it. If there is a debate over who will take one portion and who will take the other, where I want this and he also wants this - let us cast lots: whatever falls to you, if the right portion came up for you, take the right, and he will take the left. Through the lot, the quarrel is brought to an end.
"And separates between powerful contenders" - each one believes he has powerful, formidable arguments, as in "and to him who has no might He increases strength" (Yeshayahu 40:29); each feels: "I have powerful claims, and justice is on my side." Shlomo says: despite all this, the lot will separate between them, so that no argument or quarrel will arise between them.
אָח נִפְשָׁע מִקִּרְיַת־עֹז וּמִדְיָנִים כִּבְרִיחַ אַרְמוֹן׃ (יט) - "A brother is alienated from a fortified city, and contentions are like the bar of a fortress." (19)
And know that if you stubbornly insist on strict judgment, insisting on taking the matter to court and refusing to compromise in any way, it will sometimes result in your total loss. For "a brother is alienated from a fortified city." Sometimes a person is entitled to an inheritance: "I have a share in this estate; I am the brother, and I deserve a portion." "A fortified city" denotes strength, as it is written: "A rich man's wealth is his strong city" (Mishlei 18:11) - the wealthy man trusts in his fortified estate, his villa, and his assets. Similarly, a person can feel one hundred percent certain that he will be vindicated in court. Shlomo tells you: sometimes this stubbornness causes him to be wronged and entirely deprived of the inheritance rightfully due to him. Had you been willing to compromise, had you been willing to cast lots, you would have received a share. But you dug in your heels and said, "No, I want everything" - and suddenly it turns out that the court decided you are entitled to nothing at all.
"And contentions are like the bar of a castle" - contentions shut him out like a bolt used to lock a palace, and the bolt of a palace is the strongest of all: no one enters and no one leaves. Not only does he lack access, but he is completely barred. And not only did they refrain from giving you anything extra beyond what was yours, but sometimes they even take away what was already yours.
This is like the well-known story involving the Ibn Ezra, about the travelers and the loaves of bread: one traveler had three loaves and the other had two, and one of them felt wronged, thinking he deserved more. He went to ask the Ibn Ezra - and it turned out that he was not even entitled to what he had received, and they deducted another half from him! In other words, sometimes you think pushing the matter is worthwhile and will pay off, but in the end you realize that you only lost.
A resident of Rehovot once related a story: a road was being constructed, and the route had to pass through certain plots of land and homes. The government offered homeowners sums of money to vacate; negotiations took place, each person extracted what they could, and in the end everyone agreed, vacated, and everything worked out well. But there was one homeowner who refused under any circumstances: they offered him one million, and he demanded four million. There was no logic to it; the property was not worth even half that amount - but he claimed, "They must have it, the road goes right through here, they have no choice." There were negotiations and attempts at persuasion, but nothing worked. What happened in the end? They slightly shifted the path of the road. Today, his apartment cannot even be sold for half price, because his window directly overlooks a major highway - noise, soot, and grime. Why? Because he was stubborn. Such obstinacy is foolishness. Had he been willing to compromise a bit from the outset, he would have resolved all the problems.
And this is most common in inheritance disputes: the parties dig in, each wants a little more, years of lawsuits drag on, and in the end it turns out that the lawyers consumed all the money - all just to ensure the other side would not receive anything. What foolishness! Had you reached a compromise, had you been willing to make concessions, had you been less rigid - you would have achieved far better results. "The lot ends disputes" - had you cast lots and compromised, you would have solved the problems. But you refused, and therefore, "A brother offended is more unyielding than a fortress city": you were cast out of that fortress city, and ultimately the contentions caused the place to be bolted against you like the bar of a palace, locked shut with no access, and you lost even what you had. Therefore, casting lots is the best path, as it is written: "בַּחֵיק יוּטַל אֶת הַגּוֹרָל וּמֵה' כָּל מִשְׁפָּטוֹ" - "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every verdict is from Hashem." Whatever outcome you see, know that it comes from Hashem. What you received is what was destined for you, and you lost nothing of what was decreed for you in Heaven.
"The lot puts an end to disputes" - medanim refers to litigants, those engaged in quarrel and contention, and through the lot, disputes cease. "And parts the mighty" (ve-vein atzumim yafrid) - Rashi explains atzumim as related to "present your strong arguments" (haggishu atzumoteichem; in modern Hebrew there is an expression "they submitted a petition [atzumah]," but this is unrelated to the biblical meaning). The meaning of atzumoteichem is that which they fiercely contested, from the notion of striving over a matter, disputing fiercely in judgment. And why is it called this? Because their quarrel is massive, as in "great, mighty, and populous" (gadol, atzum, va-rav) - atzum denoting greatness, a major feud. Another explanation: from the word otzmah, meaning strength or force. And a third explanation in Rashi: from the concept of atzimat ayin, closing one's eyes - atzumim refers to stubborn people who close their eyes and refuse to listen, and the lot comes along and dissolves the argument.
The Vilna Gaon explains: two people are quarreling, one says "it is all mine" and the other says "it is all mine"; one says "I grabbed it first" and the other says "I grabbed it first." What should be done? Cast a lot, and thereby the quarrel will cease. "And parts the mighty (atzumim)" - there are legal cases in the Torah regarding which the rule of kol de-alim gavar ("whoever is stronger prevails") applies, and therefore they are called atzumim: a judgment that would otherwise be decided through power, by force of arm. Cast a lot, and they will not come to a situation where one attacks the other under the principle of kol de-alim gavar. (We need not delve here into the exact definition of kol de-alim gavar; there are two approaches: some say it refers to whoever is stronger in his arguments, while others interpret it literally, as physical force.)
It is fascinating to observe that among those with less developed egos, the lot is a wonderful tool for resolving disputes. Among whom? Children. When children have a disagreement, they readily cast lots. For an adult, casting lots is far harder, because it threatens the ego: "What do you mean, I might lose?" To be sure, even among children there are those who begin to cry after losing a toss, and what did not go their way by the lot is pursued through tears. But generally speaking, it is adults who are less inclined toward such a compromise, because it requires yielding, and one might walk away empty-handed.
On the verse "A brother offended is more unyielding than a fortress city, and contentions are like the bar of a castle," Rashi explains: there is a brother who separates and rebels against his brothers - he abandons them, sins against them, treats them unjustly - and in his rebellion loses a fortress city, a mighty, grand, and fortified city that could have been his. Who is an example of this? Lot. What was he left with in the end? Nothing. Why? Because he turned against Avraham. You could have merited a fortress city, being a member of Avraham's household and part of the continuing lineage of the Jewish people - but that did not suit him, and he went to the plain of the Jordan, to Sodom, which was well watered everywhere. He went looking for drink, and in the end his daughters brought him drink, he drank, and what happened happened.
And so it was with Esau: "And Esau went to a land away from his brother Jacob." Chazal teach that he went to Mount Seir, saying: What is here? A promissory note requiring me to descend into exile? Leave me alone, I want no debts and I want nothing. What did he lose? For all eternity - "And saviors will ascend Mount Zion to judge the mountain of Esau." Had he not left and walked away, had he said, "I also want to join, I also want a portion in the heritage of Hashem," he would have merited it. When a brother rebels against his brother, abandoning him through betrayal and defiance, know that through this he loses greatly, forfeiting immense merits that he could have achieved.
"And contentions are like the bars of a palace" - this strife, between Lot and Abraham and between Esau and Jacob, separates them forever, like the bar that locks the gates of a palace. It is worth understanding what the bar of a palace is: palace gates are massive, heavy doors, sometimes requiring several men just to budge. One cannot lock them with a simple cylinder lock or a padlock. What did they do? On the door itself there were protruding brackets shaped like an inverted letter Reish, with matching brackets on the surrounding wall, and across them they would lay an immense wooden beam from the inside, preventing the doors from opening. This is the bar of the palace, the most formidable and sturdy lock. Because it was so heavy to lift, they would slide it to the side to open the doors, and then slide it back so it held the doors fast. Strife is just like this: it is like a sturdy bar through which there is no entry - neither Esau nor Lot has any entry into the Jewish people, for "An Ammonite or a Moabite shall not enter the congregation of Hashem," and of Esau it is said, "And saviors will ascend Mount Zion to judge the mountain of Esau." From this you can understand how negative strife is, something that should never have existed in the first place, seeing how much a brother lost because he sinned against his brother.
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: After the verse praised the division by lottery, showing that the lot puts an end to quarrels and prevents a person from coveting another's property, notice that it specifically emphasizes a "brother" here, because division of property is common among brothers dividing their ancestral estate. Likewise, Ibn Ezra writes a statement that remains just as relevant in our times: "He mentioned a brother because most quarrels are over the brothers' inheritance." It is truly appalling - the vast majority of courtroom battles are inheritance disputes.
And an interesting point: sometimes the fights are over the smallest inheritances. Someone leaves an apartment, and by the time you divide it and pay taxes, it turns out to be pennies - and over pennies you went to war. What did the father leave? Not luxury properties in an upscale neighborhood, but a modest apartment, and over that there are fights, court dates, and wasted energy. Sometimes you see people who literally become ill from it - from the fight itself. One does not speak to the other, a bitter rift develops, and the heartache is tremendous. It is written that this is the most terrible anguish for parents in the World Above - that there is strife among their children down here below. Therefore, a person must ensure in advance that matters do not reach such a state, putting everything in order, neither favoring one while completely disinheriting another nor leaving behind grievances, which is exceedingly harmful.
And this is "A brother offended is harder than a fortified city": What can settle the dispute between a brother and his sibling regarding the fortified city, regarding the inheritance? The lot. The lottery puts an end to the contentions of the brother who feels wronged concerning the brothers' fortified city, preventing them from descending into betrayal over the inheritance, and saving them from hatred and hostility.
Rabbeinu Yonah further interprets the verse: A brother who sins and rebels against his brother is harder than a fortified city. If you were asked, "With whom is it harder for you to fight, with an entire city or with your brother?" King Solomon says: It is harder for a person when a brother turns against him than to feud with an entire fortified city. An entire city may contend with him, and it would be easier for him than quarreling with his brother. Why? Because harm comes most readily from a brother's hatred, since he knows his brother's private affairs and exactly how to inflict damage.
We see this tangibly: with whom is a person's most difficult struggle? Chazal say - within his own household. A wife knows all her husband's weaknesses, knows exactly what irritates him, and knows which buttons to push. And so too a husband with his wife: he knows precisely her vulnerabilities and what infuriates her most. That is why it is the hardest. A stranger who wants to harass you knows very little, but your brother knows everything about you: he knows what unreported earnings you made, what assets you hid. If he holds the cards and decides to strike, you are completely ruined. Therefore, "a brother offended" is harder for a person than battling an entire city, harder than "a fortified city," because harm comes most readily from a brother's hatred.
"And contentions are like the bars of a palace" - contentions between brothers are severe, formidable, and fierce, their damage as enduring as the bar of a palace that cannot be broken. It is extraordinarily difficult to make peace in a dispute between brothers, for the emotions run deeply painful: "After what he did to me and how he treated me!" Know that the hardest peace to make is between two people who were once very close. Why? Because great closeness can later turn into intense hatred, and a person feels deeply wounded: "From an outsider I expected nothing, but from you I did. You were my closest companion, my brother, she was his wife, he was her husband - I had high expectations of you, and you treated me like this!" The injury cuts deeply, and making peace between them is like breaking through the bar of a palace. The betrayal a person suffers at the hands of a brother touches the soul far more than the betrayal of a stranger - he feels betrayed to the very core of his being. Therefore, Scripture warns in advance: do not let things reach such states, for they are exceedingly difficult to mend.
The Vilna Gaon explains the verse in another way: "A brother offended is harder than a fortified city" - in the wake of the lottery, a person must sometimes separate from his companion, a brother from his brother, and a person from his fortified city. Until now your place was here; they cast lots, and it was determined that your place would be somewhere else, and you are "separated from a fortified city," in the sense that you were removed from that place which was previously yours. This continues the previous verse: since "the lot puts an end to contentions," a person may sometimes be compelled to leave his place as a result, and the brother is set apart and leaves his dwelling even though it was previously his stronghold.
"And contentions are like the bar of a palace" - like the bar of a king's palace, which is the strongest place, and whoever hides behind it is protected and saved. So it is with you: even though it seems to you that you were distanced, it is good for you that you are there and good for you that the lot determined it this way, because through this at least there will be no dispute and no quarrel. It is like the bar of a palace locking the quarrel away from you. Had you not done so, you would be fighting to this day, arguing and litigating, spitting so much blood. And if you say, "But I lost out, 'a brother offended is harder than a strong city'" - the Vilna Gaon tells you: You are now hiding from the contentions like one hiding behind the bar of a palace. Is it not good for you that you were saved from the great quarrel? The verse comes to teach us that a person should not quarrel with his fellow.
And here, says the Gaon, one needs profound strength and power of faith in Hashem: to know that what the lot determined is what is meant for me, and this is the will of Hashem, blessed be He, so do not quarrel over it and do not spark an argument over it. Just as the lot separates, know that it is from Hashem. The lot caused you to be there and to be distanced - "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from Hashem." If so, why are you fighting?
The Vilna Gaon explains: Chazal encapsulated all of this in a single statement: "From here Ben Azzai said: By your name they will call you, and in your place they will seat you, and from what is yours they will give you; and no man touches that which is prepared for his fellow even by a hairsbreadth, and no kingdom touches its fellow even by a hairsbreadth." If a person kept this statement before his eyes, what a calm and peaceful life he would have! A person constantly walks around with grievances: "Because of him I lost out, that one brought me down, this one caused me harm, that one withheld from me." He is always carrying a grudge against all sorts of people: "The neighbor informed on me, this one did such-and-such to me." My friend, where is the Creator of the world in this story? Did Someone not put the thought into the neighbor's head to call municipal inspection? Did Someone not bring this damage upon you? Why are you ignoring the Creator of the world? After all, if it had not been decreed upon you, no one could have harmed or damaged you.
"By your name they will call you" - do not worry, when your name and your turn arrive, they will call you. "In your place they will seat you" - in the place designated for you, there they will seat you, and do not think that someone took your spot. "From what is yours they will give you" - whatever is yours, you will receive. "No man touches that which is prepared for his fellow" - do not think he took from you; he took nothing from you, and whatever is meant for you, you will receive. And it is one of two things: either what was stolen from you was decreed to be stolen from you, due to calculations and past gilgulim (reincarnations) of which we know nothing, or if it was not decreed, Hashem will restore it to you. "I hate thieves," says the Creator of the world, "because they burden Me to restore [what was taken]" - the Holy One, blessed be He, took upon Himself the responsibility to repay you, so what are you worrying about and what are you crying over? "And no kingdom touches its fellow even by a hairsbreadth" - "I was supposed to get that position!"; no, sir, whenever you are supposed to receive the position, you will receive it, not a moment earlier and not a moment later. When it is decreed in Heaven that the other person's time is up, he will finish his term, and when it is decreed that you are to receive it, you will receive it.
The Gemara relates concerning Rabbah and Rav Yosef that people consulted the Chaldeans - who were astrologers - regarding whom to appoint as head of the yeshivah. They wanted to appoint Rav Yosef, but he heard from the Chaldeans that he would lead for two years and then pass away. Therefore, when there was a discussion of whom to appoint, he refused to accept the position. The Gemara says that he refused any position of authority whatsoever, and would not even permit a bloodletter to come to his home, as that was a mark of prestige; instead, he would go to the bloodletter himself whenever he needed him. And one of them, Rabbah, led for twenty-two years, while the other, who had refused the appointment, finally accepted it after the first passed away, in his extreme old age, led for two years, and then passed away.
Let us consider: What would have happened had he not heard this from the Chaldeans? He would have thought to himself, "I deserved the appointment, why did they appoint someone else?" And how could you explain to him that it was to his benefit? After all, you will live another twenty-two years - of course it was to your benefit! In this case, he knew it, and therefore understood that it was best for him. But how often does it happen that a person does not know, and it seems to him that he should have received it, so why did they give it to that person? "Because of favoritism, pull, they pulled strings for him!" What do you mean by pull? Is there no Master of the world? Is there no Creator of the world? Did the Creator of the world fail to give it to you because someone pulled a scheme - against whom, against the Creator of the world? Whatever that person did, if he was dishonest, he will answer for it; but what ultimately happened is what was meant for you.
How much a person must learn to come to terms with what happens. I once saw that someone composed a poem saying: Master of the Universe, grant me the strength to change what I can change, and grant me the inner fortitude to accept what I cannot change. For this too requires great fortitude: to know that this is beyond my ability, that this is the will of Hashem and this is how I must accept it, and that is the path of humility. In contrast, consider the person who tries with all his might to alter a heavenly decree: Hashem decreed this, this is His will; you made a normal effort, and that is enough. Do not strain excessively, for sometimes that extra straining only harms you. After all, had he pushed to receive the leadership of the yeshivah, he would have received it and died two years later, and what would he have gained from that? Do not force the hour, for whoever forces the hour is pushed aside by the hour.
And now let us review these five principles and see how they are found here in the verses, according to the Vilna Gaon. "By your name they will call you" corresponds to "a brother offended"; and why is he called a brother? Because he still bears the family name, he is from that same family, and he is told: Do not worry, when your name comes up, they will call you. "And in your place they will seat you" corresponds to "his strong city"; you claim that someone took your place, that this is your strong city and belongs to you, but you are told: No, in your place they will seat you. "And from what is yours they will give you" - you had a quarrel with someone over a certain item; if it is yours, you will be given what is yours, and if it is not yours, the lot determined that it is not yours. "And no man touches that which is prepared for his fellow even by a hairsbreadth" corresponds to "and separates between the mighty": that which is prepared for your fellow and you come with might to take it, the lot will separate between the mighty. "And no kingdom touches its fellow even by a hairsbreadth" corresponds to "the bar of a palace," the royal palace: when your time comes to sit in the palace, you will merit to be behind the bar of the palace, and if not, you will not receive it, for no kingdom touches its fellow.
The Ralbag offers an innovative explanation here. "A brother offended is [better than] a fortified city" - know that sometimes your brother has wronged you; do not turn this into a major quarrel and do not make a great feud out of it, because the one who will truly stand by you in your time of distress is your brother. And even though the brother was wronged, nevertheless he is better for you than a fortified city - to save you and help you in a time of need, for he will not hold a grudge against you then for what transpired, as he is your own flesh and blood. There is a blood bond here, and this blood bond causes him to feel far more committed to you.
Rav Dessler says something along these lines: that a blood bond is stronger than anything. Consider a person who raised a child in his home from infancy and gave him everything, just like his own son, and he also has a biological son whom he did not raise, who grew up from infancy in institutions. Now, both of them are in a house engulfed in flames, and he can save only one. Rav Dessler says: you will see that in a moment of crisis, the person will instinctively rush toward his biological son and save him. One might ask: What connection do I even have with him? I haven't seen him in years, perhaps we even had a falling out, whereas the other child I raised and invested in! Yet the blood bond between a father and his biological son is stronger, and the moment a person has no time to deliberate, the natural instinct will be to save his biological son.
And this is what the Ralbag is saying here: know that in a time of need, there is power and strength in "one's own flesh and blood." Likewise, "and their contentions are like the bars of a castle" - regarding one who stirred up quarrels against his brother; the bar of a castle reaches from wall to wall, passes across the doors, and holds them securely to the walls, binding the walls together and keeping the building standing. In the same way, a brother protects you and is bound and connected to you like the bar of a castle, so that if trouble arises, he will be the one to stand by your side. Therefore, even if you had a conflict with him, do not let the dispute grow too large, because in the end, who will you need? Specifically your brother.
These three verses are a single piece of counsel from the wisest of all men: do not rush into litigation. "The first to plead his case seems just" - your confidence in your righteousness stems from the fact that you have only heard yourself, and "his fellow comes and examines him" will turn the tables. Therefore, "The lot puts an end to disputes and separates the mighty" - compromise and casting lots put an end to strife, and whatever emerges from the lot is from Hashem: "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from Hashem." And one who remains stubborn - "A brother offended is harder to win than a fortified city, and their contentions are like the bars of a castle": he loses even what was in his hands, and locks a door against himself that is difficult to reopen, like Lot who was alienated from Avraham and Esav who was alienated from Yaakov. A quarrel with a brother is the hardest of all, because he knows the vulnerable points, and because an injury from someone close pierces to the depths of the soul. On the other hand, it is precisely a brother who will stand by you in a time of trouble, for he is your own flesh and blood. And the foundation for all this is emunah: "By your name they shall call you, in your place they shall seat you, and from what is yours they shall give you; and no man touches that which is designated for his fellow even by a hairsbreadth" - and one who lives this way lives a quiet and peaceful life.