Introduction
In this section of Chapter 17, we examine the final four verses, which are closely linked to one another: the grief a foolish son causes his parents, the prohibition against punishing the righteous, and the power of silence in one who possesses understanding. We will proceed through the verses in order, citing the commentaries of Rashi, Rabbeinu Yonah, the Vilna Gaon, and the Malbim, and observe how these verses weave together into a unified theme.
"A Foolish Son is an Irritation to His Father" - Peshat and Derash
כַּעַס לְאָבִיו בֵּן כְּסִיל וּמֶמֶר לְיוֹלַדְתּוֹ׃ (כה) - A foolish son is an irritation to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him.
Rashi interprets this verse homiletically as referring to Yarov'am ben Nevat. "An irritation to his father" - he brought anger to his Father in Heaven, for he provoked Hashem, blessed be He. "And bitterness to her who bore him" - the mother is Knesses Yisrael, who is represented as the beloved bride in Shir HaShirim, while the Beloved is the Holy One, blessed be He (corresponding kabbalistically to the Sefiros of Ze'eir Anpin and Nukva). Yarov'am provoked the Holy One, blessed be He, and embittered the life of Knesses Yisrael: he caused them to sin and brought immense bitterness upon them, ultimately causing the exile of the Ten Tribes, whom we lack to this day. And in whose name is this recorded for all generations? In the name of Yarov'am ben Nevat, who sinned and caused Israel to sin.
Why Anger to the Father and Bitterness to the Mother
Rabbeinu Yonah connects this to the earlier verse, "He who fathers a fool does so to his sorrow." One who fathers a fool brings into the world someone who will cause him nothing but grief and sorrow, and not merely sorrow, but outright anger. A child who embitters his parents' lives, who did not receive proper chinuch or proper guidance - how much trouble he can cause and how much anger he can stir. "Bitterness" (memer) goes beyond anger and sorrow: from the intensity of the anger and sorrow, one's very life becomes bitter.
And why specifically bitterness to the mother and anger to the father? Because, as it happens, the father is often away from the house. A father typically wants to take his son everywhere and take pride in him: "This is my son." But if the son is a fool, then to avoid humiliation, he leaves him at home. The boy lacks basic derech eretz, lacks refinement, talks nonsense wherever he goes, and brings shame - so he is told to stay home with his mother. And who suffers from him? The poor mother, who is with him all day long. Not only is he at home most of the time anyway, but the father refuses to take him out at all, leaving him constantly in her presence. Therefore, for the father it is anger, but for the mother it is sheer bitterness. This is also why it is said elsewhere, "and a foolish son is the grief of his mother."
The Vilna Gaon's Explanation: Positive and Negative Mitzvos
The Vilna Gaon explains that the verse alludes to the two categories of mitzvos. The foolish son's offense against his father - causing him anger - corresponds to positive mitzvos (mitzvos asei), which are associated with the father, in the sense of "arise and act." The father always represents the aspect of Chesed, while the mother represents Binah, from which the Gevuros emanate. While Imma (the mother) is not herself Gevurah, she is the root of the Gevuros: from the sefirah of Chochmah, which is the aspect of Abba (the father), extends the right axis of Chesed; and from Binah extends the left axis of Gevurah.
The Kabbalists designate this with the acronyms: ChaChaN, BaGaH, DaTY. The structure is configured in the form of a person. The entire right column consists of Chochmah, beneath it Chesed, and beneath it Netzach: Cha-Cha-N. The entire left column consists of Binah at the head (in the mochin), followed by Gevurah, which is the left arm, followed by Hod: Ba-Ga-H. And the central column is Da-T-Y: Da'as in the center, Tiferes (the torso itself), and Yesod. Some include Malchus, which is the crown of Yesod, forming the acronym DaTYM. Thus, the one walking the middle path is "dati" (aligned with the middle column) - neither strictly ChaChaN nor BaGaH, but DaTY, embodying the attributes of Da'as, Tiferes, and Yesod.
According to this, Chochmah - the aspect of the father - represents positive commandments, positive actions, and positive outflow, reflecting the attribute of Chesed. Chesed is always about bounty: giving, increasing, and bestowing. By contrast, the mother corresponds to Binah, whose root is Gevurah, and Gevurah is always about restraint (tzimtzum) - this corresponds to negative commandments (lo ta'aseh). Gevurah means holding back, withholding outflow, not giving, dictating that only if one is deserving will he receive. This is the meaning of "And may God (Elokim) give you," which Rashi explains: if you are deserving, you will receive, and if you are not deserving, you will not receive - in strict judgment. For the name Elokim denotes the attribute of Din (strict justice), restraint and Gevurah, giving only what is earned. Therefore, the mother corresponds to the negative commandments: do not do, refrain, which is the nature of Din. Consequently, one who falls short in positive commandments causes "anger to his father," while one who violates negative commandments offends the aspect of his mother, which is Gevurah, and thus becomes "bitterness."
The Malbim's Explanation: The Father's Anger Grows from the Mother's Bitterness
The Malbim introduces a beautiful insight: Beyond the sorrow a father feels simply from seeing his son go astray, the son also provokes his anger by distressing his mother. "A foolish son is anger to his father" - why is the anger you cause your father so great? Because he is "bitterness to the one who bore him." It is not enough that I am angry with you and suffer anguish because of you; I also see how you cause grief to your mother, and that intensifies my anger. This is also what is stated later in Mishlei: "A foolish son is ruin to his father, and the quarrels of a wife are an endless dripping," which will be explained in its proper place.
Even Punishing the Righteous Is Not Good
גַּם עֲנוֹשׁ לַצַּדִּיק לֹא־טוֹב לְהַכּוֹת נְדִיבִים עַל־יֹשֶׁר׃ (כו) - It is also not good to punish the righteous, nor to strike the noble for their uprightness. (26)
Some textual variants read alei yosher instead of al yosher, and the Minchat Shai notes that many manuscripts read alei yosher, which appears to be the more precise reading.
Rashi explains that the Holy One, blessed be He, does not wish to erase the name of Israel from the earth, and even though there are wicked people among them, "to punish the righteous is also not good." There are righteous people among them, and punishing the tzaddik on account of the corrupt deeds of the wicked is displeasing to Hashem; therefore, the Holy One, blessed be He, does not punish the righteous because of the wicked. Although it is written that once a decree goes forth and the attribute of strict justice is unleashed, it does not distinguish between righteous and wicked, that occurs only in very specific circumstances; under ordinary conditions, "to punish the righteous is also not good." "To strike nobles for their uprightness" - to strike the finest among them, those noble individuals who walk with integrity, all the knees that did not bend to the Baal, these the Holy One, blessed be He, does not wish to strike. Even though we are seemingly like a single body and it might appear fitting to strike the righteous along with the wicked, the verse tells us: this is not good in the eyes of Hashem. As we find with Avraham Avinu: "Shall the Judge of all the earth not do justice?"
The Righteous Is Taken Away Before the Evil
Sometimes the Holy One, blessed be He, refrains from punishing altogether so that the righteous person will not suffer. Yet there is another possibility: that suffering must indeed come, but the righteous person does not deserve to endure it - and then, "the righteous is taken away before the evil," for the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want the righteous person to witness the calamity. How long before the Flood did Metushelach pass away? One week. "And it came to pass after the seven days" - and Rashi explains: these were the seven days of mourning for Metushelach. The Holy One, blessed be He, took him seven days before the Flood so that he would not see the distress of the Deluge. And when did Avraham Avinu pass away? Five years before his time, on the very day that Esav went astray, so that he would not see it. Likewise with Shmuel the Prophet, who was gathered in shortened years at the age of fifty-two, so that he would not see his life's work undone in his lifetime, and would not see Shaul, the first king, die in battle and suffer tremendous grief over it. There are other interpretations for "the righteous is taken away before the evil," but here it is explained along this specific line: that Hashem does not want the tzaddik to suffer.
Rabbeinu Yonah: The Tzaddik Can Punish and Slay - and Must Not Use His Power
Rabbeinu Yonah applies this verse to the righteous person himself. The prayer of a tzaddik is heard, as it is said, "He hears the prayer of the righteous," and consequently, it is in his power to bless and to punish - the tzaddik has the capacity to punish and even kill with his words. He can bestow a blessing and it takes effect, and Heaven forbid, he can utter an unfavorable word - and it also takes effect. Yaakov said to Lavan, "With whomever you find your gods, he shall not live" - and what happened? Rachel died. Yehudah said, "Then I will bear the blame to my father forever" - and his bones were rolled about in their casket. These are awe-inspiring matters: a tzaddik utters something, and it is immediately fulfilled. This poses a tremendous danger.
According to this, if every tzaddik were to unleash his power against anyone who wronged him, he would ruin them immediately: this one's house would be destroyed, and that one would suffer calamity, Heaven forbid. King Shlomo comes and says: "To punish is also not good for the righteous" - do not make use of this power. And how exceptionally careful the great leaders of Israel were regarding this.
Bava ben Buta and Herod
The Gemara recounts the story of Bava ben Buta. Herod had executed all the Sages and gouged out his eyes. He wished to spare one Sage to whom he could turn for counsel, but he did not want him to retain any power, which is why he blinded him. Later, Herod came to him in disguise and began trying to incite him: "Did you see what this wicked king did? Curse him! Denounce him!" He even cited various verses to persuade him, adding, "No one will know; it is just you and me." Bava ben Buta replied, "A bird of the heavens shall carry the voice" (Kohelet 10:20), and steadfastly refused. Herod then revealed his true identity and said, "Had I known that you Sages were so circumspect, I would never have killed them." For his entire fear had been that he was merely a slave while the Sages opposed his reign, leading him to believe he had to kill them to eliminate any opposition. Herod then asked Bava ben Buta how he might atone for what he had corrupted, and the Sage advised him to rebuild the Beit HaMikdash - and whoever has not seen Herod's building has never seen a truly magnificent structure in his life.
What do we learn from this? A tzaddik wields atomic power in his hands. Yet the true strength of a tzaddik lies precisely in the capacity to rein in his desires and master the tremendous power at his disposal. A well-known story is told of the Chazon Ish: people would urge him, "Let the Rav speak out on this matter; let the Rav protest this; after all, people listen to the Rav!" He replied, "They listen to me precisely because I do not speak. If I were to get up every morning and speak out on a different issue, who would listen to me?" In other words, a wise man possesses immense influence, but he must possess enough wisdom to know when to use it and whether it is appropriate to deploy in every situation.
This is why, in so many instances, people approached the gedolei Yisrael saying, "So-and-so is doing this, and that person is causing such harm; let the Rav place a curse on him!" - yet the gedolei Yisrael utterly refused to take that course. Only in the rarest of circumstances would they ever perform a pulsa denura. And why? Because one does not interfere with Divine Providence. The Holy One, blessed be He, placed that person here; the Master of the Universe desires this state of affairs. Who am I to disrupt the agenda of the Master of the Universe? If Hashem wished to remove him, He would have removed him; and since He has not, it is a clear sign that the Holy One, blessed be He, wants him to be here, and that this is the trial we must face.
The Baba Sali: Only to Bless
It is told of the Baba Sali that when he was a boy, a friend angered him, and he uttered something with negative implications toward him. His father, Rabbi Mas'oud, overheard this and immediately came to him, warning him with a thousand admonitions never to let a curse cross his lips. He said to him: "We, our family - if you utter such words, Heaven forbid you could bring severe misfortune upon a person." From that day forward, the Baba Sali offered only blessings. There was never an occasion where he would utter a negative remark - only blessing. Why? "To punish through a tzaddik is also not good" (Mishlei 17:26). The wisdom of a tzaddik lies in knowing how to exercise the immense power in his hands with deliberate care.
To Strike Nobles for Uprightness
It is the role of rulers, ministers, and nobles to govern the people, and power and authority naturally rest in their hands. If someone sins against them, they can easily cast him into prison, impose heavy fines, and confiscate his wealth. Even so, it is not good for nobles to strike and avenge themselves upon those who have wronged them. Even if that individual may well deserve it according to the strict measure of justice - very often, it simply does not look right. "To strike nobles for uprightness": even if the punishment is upright and fully deserved, the fact remains that he sinned against you personally, and when you exact retribution from him, it will always appear as though you are taking vengeance for what he did to you, rather than executing true justice. Leave it for someone else to carry out.
There is a story of a young man who studied in the yeshivah of one of the great masters of Mussar. Word reached the student: "Be aware, the mashgiach is summoning you; he is apparently planning to expel you from the yeshivah." The boy was indeed very problematic, but he did not want to leave. He went in to the mashgiach, spoke to him with brazen insolence, and insulted him personally - and the mashgiach did not expel him. Why? Because the mashgiach reasoned: "If I expel him now, it might be an act of personal revenge - because he spoke to me this way, I am throwing him out of the yeshivah?" Note how clever the student was: he knew that if you insult the mashgiach personally, he will no longer take punitive action against you. And why? To ensure, Heaven forbid, that the disciplinary measure does not stem from personal vengefulness. Even if he fully deserved to be expelled for everything he had done until then, and all the more so for his present insolence, it is not right for you to strike - meaning, to administer punishment - when it appears to be motivated by personal revenge.
Forgiveness as an Aspect of Nobility
On the contrary, says Rabbeinu Yonah: The noble-hearted, out of the generosity of their spirit, share their silver and gold, bestowing loving-kindness with their bodies and their wealth, and it is fitting that forgiving those who wrong them should be an integral part of their noble character and ways of chesed. What defines a "nadiv" (a noble, generous soul)? A person who gives, who bestows, who assists the public. Not the self-styled "public benefactors" of our day, each scrambling to find a political refuge, shifting funds elsewhere and ducking under a new umbrella just so someone will guarantee his seat does not totter, indifferent to everything else and leaving his debts behind. Scripture is not speaking of such people, but of leaders whose sole desire is to do good for the people. And for someone whose entire desire is to benefit the public, it is unfitting to take revenge upon those who have wronged him; an essential part of chesed and nobility is to forgive even one who has caused you harm.
The Vilna Gaon: The Foolish Son Who Rises to Power
The Vilna Gaon explains that this verse is a direct continuation of the preceding one: "A foolish son is grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him" (Mishlei 17:25). What happens when that foolish son grows up and becomes a man of stature, authority, and prominence? The very presence of the righteous disturbs him, and so he punishes the tzaddik in an effort to make him stray from his path. He hems in the tzaddik's steps and constricts his way, seeking to cause him to cast off his yoke.
However, in public he cannot tell him: "Go along an improper path, become secular." So what does he do? He tells him: "Come, I only want to develop you, to broaden your horizons, to have you learn additional things, to have you also shoulder the burden (a common catchphrase today), so that you can make a respectable living; my heart aches within me when I see your dire financial situation, I only want to advance you." He will not explicitly tell him to stop being religious, but he will take actions that lead him to that very state.
Therefore, says the Vilna Gaon, it does not say here "punishes the righteous person" (ma'anīsh), but rather anosh (a passive form): as if to say, "This is not coming from me, it is happening on its own, he is simply being penalized." He withholds budgets from him, denies him things he is entitled to, creates financial strangulation - all so that the tzaddik will say: "It is too difficult to be righteous, I am heading in another direction." "Anosh latzaddik lo tov" - he penalizes the tzaddik indirectly in order to lead him toward an improper path.
On the other hand, "le'hakot nedivim alei yosher" - the noble ones, the ministers and the judges, he strikes openly in public. And for what? For having acted with uprightness! For to this wicked ruler, uprightness is bad and justice is bad, and when someone actually acts with uprightness and justice, he strikes him down. Therefore it says "le'hakot" and not "hakot": the penalizing (anosh) is done indirectly and quietly, but the noble ones, the upright and righteous judges, he openly strikes down for acting uprightly, declaring to them: "Not at all, what you are doing is injustice." This is the result of the foolish son when he attains power and rule.
The Malbim: Three Pesukim in One Breath - The Righteous Who Suffer
The Malbim maintains that the pasuk "To penalize the righteous is also not good" must be read in one breath together with the following two pesukim:
גַּם עֲנוֹשׁ לַצַּדִּיק לֹא־טוֹב לְהַכּוֹת נְדִיבִים עַל־יֹשֶׁר׃ (כו) חוֹשֵׂךְ אֲמָרָיו יוֹדֵעַ דָּעַת יְקַר־רוּחַ אִישׁ תְּבוּנָה׃ (כז) גַּם אֱוִיל מַחֲרִישׁ חָכָם יֵחָשֵׁב אֹטֵם שְׂפָתָיו נָבוֹן׃ (כח) - "To penalize the righteous also does not seem good, nor to strike the noble over uprightness. (26) One who spares his words possesses knowledge; a person of understanding is of a calm spirit. (27) Even a fool who remains silent is considered wise; one who closes his lips is deemed discerning." (28)
Here the text is speaking, says the Malbim, about the well-known and famous question on which he elaborated at length in the Book of Iyov: tzaddik ve-ra lo, the righteous who suffer. Outwardly, there appears to be something improper and unaligned in Hashem's governance, as it were: "To penalize the righteous" - how is it possible that the Holy One, blessed be He, punishes the tzaddik? How is it possible "to strike the noble"? From this arises the complaint and the age-old question: why do the righteous suffer while the wicked prosper? Where is the divine governance, where is the justice, where is the fairness? That Hashem seemingly punishes the tzaddik - this looks "not good."
And that Hashem strikes the noble is "al yosher". The Malbim explains that al here is from the root of avel (injustice and wrongdoing), and he brings proof from biblical usages, such as "in their wrongdoing" or "and perverts what is right for people" (Iyov 33:27), meaning committing an injustice against people. According to this: when the tzaddik is penalized by the Heavenly governance, it does not look good to people; and when Hashem strikes the noble, upright, and righteous, it appears to them as a subversion of justice and uprightness - as if there were no justice and no fairness here.
One Who Spares His Words Possesses Knowledge
And the answer lies in the next pasuk: "One who spares his words possesses knowledge." Anyone who has even a little understanding in his head does not ask this question at all. Why? Because he knows that, according to true knowledge, the Holy One, blessed be He, is righteous, exercises complete divine providence, and injustice will never emanate from Him; he knows that Hashem is perfect in absolute perfection. Consequently, it is clear to him that the Holy One, blessed be He, investigated, evaluated, and determined that this person, though he appears righteous to me, deserves punishment, and that other person, though he appears wicked to me, deserves reward. It follows that one who withholds his words provides proof that he "possesses knowledge": he knows that everything done by the Holy One, blessed be He, is done with profound wisdom and discernment, and therefore he does not raise such a question.
"Yekar-ruach ish tevunah" (a person of understanding is of a precious spirit) - this refers to someone who not only possesses basic knowledge, but also contemplates and perceives the underlying reasons for divine governance. How so? Perhaps the tzaddik committed a sin, and Hashem is collecting the debt through this punishment, for it is better for him to settle the account in this world so his reward will be complete in the World to Come; or it is in order to do good for him in his ultimate end; or it is due to matters of previous reincarnations. Such a person is called an ish tevunah (a man of deep understanding), and he is yekar-ruach: not only does he not question with his mouth, but internally the question does not agitate him either. Yakar can also be understood in the sense of heavy and solid - his spirit is steady, not easily rattled or inflamed by questions of "how" and "why." He remains calm in spirit, completely confident that everything is done with justice, and he even understands the reasons for it; his spirit does not become impassioned over an apparent lack of justice, because he grasps the true justice.
Even a Fool Who Remains Silent Is Considered Wise
"Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise." The evil (fool), according to the Malbim's consistent approach, derives from the word ulai ("perhaps") - the chronic doubter, the skeptic who constantly questions and doubts everything. If even he remains silent and refrains from raising the question of why the righteous suffer while the wicked prosper, "he is considered wise," for in this he has already acted according to the principles of wisdom: do not speak about what you do not understand. Even though doubts still linger in his heart, because he holds his tongue, he is already considered wise.
"One who seals his lips is discerning." The Malbim consistently distinguishes between the mouth and the lips: the mouth represents the internal dimension while the lips are external, for the mouth gives voice to inner thought while the lips are merely the outer expression. If he seals his lips completely, so that even in his outward speech he casts no doubt on anything, he is considered discerning. This shows that he is truly composed in spirit and a man of discernment who reflected deeply on these matters, demonstrating that even this skeptic reached the correct conclusions on his own and understands something of Hashem's ways of providence.
In summary: These four verses build a single cohesive progression. The foolish son angers his father and embitters the life of his mother, and he even provokes his Father in Heaven - just as Yarovam provoked Him. When he rises to power, he harasses the righteous indirectly and strikes the upright publicly. In contrast, even to one who wields power - to the tzaddik whose prayer is answered and to the noble ruler of the people - it is said, "To punish the righteous is also not good": the true greatness of one who possesses power lies in restraining his strength and extending forgiveness, which is an aspect of his lovingkindness. Finally, when the great question of why the righteous suffer arises, the answer lies in silence born of knowledge: one who possesses knowledge spares his words, for it is clear to him that there is no injustice before Hashem; the man of discernment remains calm and composed because he understands the principles of Divine providence; and even the skeptical fool - if he remains silent and seals his lips - will be considered wise and discerning.