Introduction
Chapter 16 of Mishlei addresses the relationship between human actions and Hashem's governance of the world: between man's intellect and planning, and Divine Providence directing his steps. In this lesson we will examine two central verses: verse 20 - "One who reflects prudently on a matter will find good, and whoever trusts in Hashem, praiseworthy is he," and verse 21 - "The wise of heart will be called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases learning." Together, these two verses teach us two arts: the art of contemplation and trust, and the art of sweetening - both toward others and toward ourselves.
Reflecting on a Matter Finds Good - The Power of Contemplation
מַשְׂכִּיל עַל דָּבָר יִמְצָא טוֹב וּבוֹטֵחַ בַּיהֹוָה אַשְׁרָיו׃ (משלי טז, כ) - One who reflects prudently on a matter will find good, and whoever trusts in Hashem, praiseworthy is he. (Mishlei 16:20)
Rashi explains: one who sets his heart to contemplate his words and weigh his paths will find good. This is a straightforward, clear observation: when a person contemplates matters before acting, he finds success in them. Conversely, a spontaneous person, who decides impulsively and does everything on a whim - there is no guarantee that the outcome will be good. But one who reflects prudently upon a matter, delves into it deeply, and only then weighs his paths - will truly find good.
And what is "and whoever trusts in Hashem, praiseworthy is he"? A person weighed his paths, examined and analyzed, and discovered that there is a great mitzvah here, but on the other hand it also entails some danger or financial loss. Seemingly, by rational calculation it is not advisable to act. Yet, he says: I will trust in Hashem and act. This does not mean outright mortal danger, situations where the chances of emerging alive are slim - but rather a situation where one perceives a certain risk or financial loss, yet trusts in Hashem and acts anyway. That is "praiseworthy is he." This teaches that intellect alone is not enough, for purely through calculated intellect a person might conclude that it is not worthwhile. There comes a stage where a person must say: I am setting aside all calculations; I am breaking through forward for the sake of Heaven, to bring pleasure to my Creator - even if, by physical calculation, there is potential loss.
The classic example is Ruth. When she came to convert, Naomi began to convince her why it was not worthwhile for her, and how much better off she was as a royal princess in Moab. Indeed, had she considered things by intellectual calculation alone, she would have said: Why should I join the Jewish people when I am a widow and have nothing left? To go with an elderly woman who is no longer my mother-in-law, to arrive in the Land and take care of her - am I a welfare agency? I am still young, I could still remarry. And why should I go glean grain in the fields of Jews, when I am royalty? And afterward, whom will she arrange for me to marry - an eighty-year-old man, and some say Boaz was four hundred years old that night, and who knows if he won't die tomorrow - as indeed happened. By intellectual calculation, this was entirely not worthwhile. But there is a second half to the verse: "and whoever trusts in Hashem, praiseworthy is he." A person goes and acts for the sake of Heaven, even though by ordinary calculation it looks risky, looks like a loss and a financial deficit - but it is a mitzvah: to draw near to the Jewish people, to assist that poor woman, to bring pleasure to the Creator. Praiseworthy is he! She merited to see seven generations; she merited to see Shlomo, her descendant, sitting upon his royal throne. How does one merit this? By walking with trust in Hashem.
Rabbeinu Yonah: When Intellect Shows It Is Beyond Your Power
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: one who reflects prudently on a matter before acting, and contemplates whether good will come of it - through this, success will present itself before him: he "will find good." For loss often occurs through a lack of thought and counsel. Where do losses come from? From not examining things properly, opening a business rashly without doing market research; perhaps the product seemed extraordinary to you, but no one is interested in it. This is not to deny that mazal is always a factor, but when a person does not examine matters properly, there is no guarantee that he will find good. And when he reflects prudently, the chances are high that he will find good.
And what is "and whoever trusts in Hashem, praiseworthy is he" according to Rabbeinu Yonah? A person contemplated and concluded that the matter indeed needs to be done, yet he sees that it is beyond his power to do it, exceeding his capabilities. He reflected, examined, verified - this is what needs to be done, but his own intellect is unable to bring it to fruition. Concerning this the verse states: you do your part, and the Holy One, Blessed is He, will do His. Trust in Hashem to assist you in accomplishing what needs to be done.
The Rav of Brisk and the Shelved Posters
It is told of the Rav of Brisk that once there were communal elections in Brisk to decide who would lead the community: the secularists and the Maskilim, or the observant Jews. The matter touched upon numerous critical areas - managing shechitah, burial, and a thousand and one issues concerning the fundamentals of the faith - and it was an intensely fierce battle. The Rav published notices against the Maskilim, even though he was ostensibly expected to remain neutral; but since it was a time to act for Hashem, the Rav went ahead and spoke and wrote sharply against the Maskilim and their leaders, urging people to vote only for those who observe the Torah and mitzvos. When the Maskilim heard that the Rav had intervened, they published slanderous and abusive posters against him: Why is he taking sides? What do rabbis have to do with politics? - utter disgrace directed at the Rav.
The Rav's posters were supposed to be put up, but the Rav set a condition: only if they are posted at least two hours before Shabbat. By the time they came out of the print shop, time had passed, and less than two hours remained before Shabbat began. The Rav said: Under no circumstances are they to be hung. They said to him: Rebbe, the elections are on Sunday, this is our only chance, we must at least make this effort. He told them: If there is even the slightest concern of desecrating Shabbat, I am not willing; the entire battle is not worth it. The posters were shelved. But the maskilim did not sit idly by, and they put up their posters. Then the Jews of Brisk saw posters filled with insults and blasphemy against the Rav - while the Rav had done nothing and said nothing, and no one understood what they wanted from him. The people saw how hands were being raised against the Torah of Moshe, disgracing the Rav for no reason. This caused a turning point, and the Orthodox community won the elections by a landslide. The Rav said to them: Do you see that one never loses from keeping Shabbat? Had we hung our posters, we would have legitimized their attack - "The Rav is intervening," "The Rav is taking sides." Since we did nothing, their words were perceived as mere provocation, and it boomeranged against them.
This is the continuation of "One who contemplates a matter will find good": when a person reflects and sees that it is not within his power to act - there is a concern of Shabbat desecration, and I cannot do it - what remains for him is "and he who trusts in Hashem, fortunate is he." And what will be with the elections? Trust in the Holy One, blessed be He. And then, ultimately, it is not merely that he "will find good," but rather "fortunate is he."
The Vilna Gaon: Torah Through Intellect, Prayer Through Trust
The Vilna Gaon explains that "one who contemplates a matter" refers to Torah: one who applies his intellect and toils in Torah will find good. But in worldly matters, there is no purpose in straining and toiling excessively; rather, "and he who trusts in Hashem, fortunate is he" - he will be fortunate both in this world and in the World to Come. And so it is with Torah and prayer: in Torah, a person is in the category of "one who contemplates a matter," engaging in Torah with intellect; and in prayer, "he who trusts in Hashem."
And what is the meaning of trust in prayer? That one should not pray insistently for his own specific desire. For "hope deferred makes the heart sick." What is hope deferred? Great expectation. When a person longs intensely for a specific thing and it does not come, he suffers great heartache. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment; one who does not expect too much is also not overly disappointed. When is the disappointment greatest? "I never believed he would do such a thing; I expected so much and believed in him so deeply" - the hurt is far greater when it involves someone from whom we had great expectations. Therefore, in prayer, a person must be careful not to harbor excessive expectations, but rather trust in Hashem to do what is good in His eyes. If Hashem considers that I deserve it, He will give it; if Hashem considers that it is better for me not to have it, He will not give it. I trust in Hashem, and this is the fortunate person. But if he demands solely for his own perceived need and, as it were, coerces the Holy One, blessed be He, to grant it to him, this will bring him only grief.
Whereas in Torah, "one who contemplates a matter" applies. There you must toil and invest effort. One does not grow great from blessings alone. Many people take their child to a tzaddik so he will bless him to become a gadol b'Torah. That is wonderful, and that is not to disparage it in the least; certainly there is power in a tzaddik's blessing. But if the boy is an idler, will the blessing help him? The blessing will help if he truly wants and decides to engage in Torah, and then it will accompany him and grant him Heavenly assistance (siyata d'Shemaya). But it does not turn a wicked person into a righteous one; one does not become a tzaddik from blessings alone.
Not Praying for Something Specific
Sometimes a person asks for a specific thing that is not good for him, and worst of all, it is granted to him. He is certain: "Baruch Hashem, my prayer was answered." But how was it answered? You were harmed. Because you asked and pleaded too insistently, it was given to you, and harm resulted, for something better was destined for you, or harm came from the very thing itself. A story was once shared here of a woman who moved into an apartment after saving for a long time; on the very day they moved in, she was cleaning the blinds, slipped, and fell to her death, may Hashem have mercy. A person can pray: Master of the Universe, this specific apartment! - and in the end, perhaps that will be his grave. Therefore, do not pray with absolute insistence for a specific thing; such expectation can only harm you. Rather, "and he who trusts in Hashem": Master of the Universe, I rely on You to grant me what is truly best for me.
Therefore, it has always been emphasized: do not pray for something specific. Not "Grant me this apartment," "this woman," or "let this man agree to sell me this car." Rather: Master of the Universe, You know that I need a car - please arrange for me the best car, the best wife, the best apartment, the best job. I am going to an interview, I am making the required effort (hishtadlut); but to pray that they accept me specifically here - who says that this is good for me? Rather, this is how one should pray: Master of the Universe, if this place is good for me, please help me find favor and good understanding in the eyes of the interviewer, so that I will be accepted easily and succeed. And if not, help me move on from this place easily. Sometimes being strung along is far more painful: you are invited for another interview and another opportunity, and in the end they say, "We are sorry, there is no opening" - leaving you only with heartache. Therefore: Master of the Universe, if it is not for me, let it end immediately so I have no false expectations; and if it is for me, let it go smoothly. That is how prayer should be.
The Malbim: Discerning, Successful, and Trusting
The Malbim explains: One who acts without discernment, and does not choose the best means to succeed, will not find good. What is "good"? The ultimate objective. If you wished to reach a certain objective but did not choose the appropriate means, you will not reach it. A parable illustrates this with someone who wants to arrive at a destination at a specific time: if he did not determine which route is the shortest, which route has the least traffic at those hours, and which route is safest, it is very likely that he will not arrive at the appointed time. But one who contemplates the matter, examining and evaluating how to attain the desired objective, will find good and reach his destination.
The Malbim notes with precision: Scripture says "maskil" (one who acts with discernment) and not "matzliach" (one who prospers), and there is a difference between them. This distinction was already addressed in Sefer Yehoshua: "For then you will make your ways prosperous, and then you will have good success (taskil)." Seemingly, both expressions refer to success; what then is the difference between "wherever he turns, yaskil" and "wherever he turns, yatzliach"? Rather, the maskil succeeds through intellectual calculation, because he selected the most suitable conditions for success: he inspected all the routes, checked which way is best to travel, and identified where problems lie. The matzliach, by contrast, succeeds by chance, by luck. People ask him: How did you arrive before me? And he answers: I don't know; I got into the car and said, "Master of the Universe, wherever my feet take me," and by Hashem's kindness this road bypassed the traffic jams and roadwork. He drove blindly, relying on luck, his heart fluttering the entire way; he has no peace of mind.
However, when a person is asked, "What are you relying on?" and answers, "I am walking with the Master of the World, I rely on the Holy One, blessed be He" - he falls under the category of one who trusts in Hashem, and he is the only one who is truly fortunate. Who is fortunate? The one who is tranquil and calm. For both the successful and the astute live with a certain measure of tension, whereas one who trusts in Hashem knows with certainty that he is in the hands of the Creator of the universe: either he will achieve success, or even if he does not, the very trust in Hashem is itself spiritual serenity and joy. After all, if I did not succeed, it was His will, may He be blessed, that I not succeed. Therefore, he feels no sense of a missed opportunity, loss, or bitter failure, as does someone who failed to act wisely or did not succeed. He was not tense beforehand, and he was not disappointed in the end.
Incidentally, which is preferable for a person - wisdom or success? In truth, success is preferable, for success implies good fortune, and even if you do nothing, when fortune is with you, you succeed in everything. A person must certainly act prudently, but if asked what to choose, one should choose success. This has been compared to a debate between Mazal (fortune) and Sechel (intellect): the intellect claimed that without it nothing can be done, while fortune replied that all the intellect in the world is useless without fortune - and they decided to put the matter to the test.
"The Wise-Hearted Is Called Discerning" - The Power of Pleasant Speech
לַחֲכַם־לֵב יִקָּרֵא נָבוֹן וּמֶתֶק שְׂפָתַיִם יֹסִיף לֶקַח׃ (משלי טז, כא) - "The wise-hearted is called discerning, and sweetness of lips increases learning." (Mishlei 16:21)
Rashi explains: One who learned wisdom from his teacher and is wise-hearted will ultimately be called discerning (navon). And what is a navon? One who contemplates matters and deliberates in his wisdom, understanding one concept from another. If you acquired heart-wisdom from your teacher, you will thereby merit to add understanding (binah). And after stating that one who learns wisdom from his teacher merits becoming discerning, the verse comes to teach how a student ought to be taught wisdom: "and sweetness of lips increases learning." If you teach him with sweetness of lips, calmly and with a pleasant countenance, the student will increase his learning, accept the teachings, and learn much better. But if you teach him with anger, irritation, and harsh strictness, he will not increase his learning and will not absorb the teachings.
And how do the teachings settle upon the student's heart until he attains wisdom and from there arrives at understanding? By the teacher seasoning his words and sweetening them with compelling rationales and flavor. One person may deliver a shiur, recite the principles, and go home; while another teacher may give the exact same shiur, but for every principle he provides parables and examples, bringing the matter close to the intellect and enabling the students to understand it thoroughly - and they emerge from the lesson entirely transformed. With sweetness of lips, you make the subject understandable; without it, the student will not increase learning.
Rabbeinu Yonah: The Understanding Expressed by the Mouth
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: One who innovates words of wisdom with his intellect and understands one thing from another is called discerning (navon), related to the root for contemplation (hitbonenut) and deep study. "And sweetness of lips increases learning" - it adds learning to the wise of heart. Just as the discerning scholar innovates words of wisdom through analytical depth and contemplation - you taught him one point, "Once God has spoken, twice have I heard this," and he deduces further conclusions, debating and deepening his grasp - so too does he increase learning when he expresses these words of wisdom with his lips. When he presents these ideas and expounds them in public, his words are not muddled, feeble, or weak; on the contrary, as he speaks, he enlivens the explanations with the articulation of his lips, so that everything he says is as clear to his listeners as a garment spread out before them.
That is to say: once you are wise-hearted and contemplate the concepts, you attain profound depth in them, and then when you present them, they will be as clear as an outstretched garment. A Daf Yomi maggid shiur once asked one of the gedolei hador for advice on how to deliver a better shiur. He replied: the quality of the shiur's delivery depends on the quality of its preparation. The better you prepare it and the more cohesive the material is in your mind, the easier it will be to transmit and elucidate it to your listeners. For the greatest difficulty lies in trying to clarify something that is not one hundred percent clear to yourself. As a wise man once quipped: What is the difference between those who teach "secrets" (razin) and those who teach "secrets of secrets" (razin d'razin)? In "secrets," the teacher understands and the listener does not; in "secrets of secrets," even the teacher does not understand what he is saying. If he has difficulty understanding what he is conveying, he certainly cannot transmit the material to others. Therefore, every additional review clarifies the sugya for you all the more, giving you the ability to explain matters with clarity.
The Talent for Expression Is Not the Substance Itself
All this applies when a person possesses the proper tools, for some people simply do not. The Chazon Ish, the preeminent leader of the generation, was very weak in public speech; he was neither an orator nor a man of words. Rav Chaim Kanievsky, too, was not a great public speaker. Once, they brought the Chazon Ish to Kollel Chazon Ish to deliver a shiur; it is told that he spoke for fifteen minutes, stammered, blushed, and stepped down - and that was his only attempt. He possessed tremendous intellectual depth and power, but not everyone gifted with immense depth is endowed with the talent to articulate and express it. The reverse is also true: the fact that someone can express and explain a matter with articulate clarity does not necessarily mean he possesses depth. These are two distinct faculties.
Incidentally, the power of speech is located in the left hemisphere of the brain, and in women the left hemisphere is more dominant, while in men the right hemisphere is. Therefore, one rarely finds women who stutter; they generally do not have speech impediments, having been given nine measures of speech. They speak fluently without getting stuck. With a man, however, one often sees difficulty before he warms up to someone and strikes up a conversation. Does this mean that women are wiser? There is no connection. It is simply a specific faculty that Hashem granted to human beings. But certainly, one who possesses the power of speech and reviews his material well, sweetening it for his listeners, will find that his words are far clearer and will be warmly received by the heart.
Speaking the Words Aloud
We can add to this approach of Rabbeinu Yonah: when someone wants to understand a matter thoroughly and test whether he has truly grasped it correctly, what must he do? He must take the material and explain it to someone else. That is the test. Often we read something, and afterward someone asks us to explain it to them - and we get stuck, discovering it is not completely clear to us. "Wait, earlier I read it and thought I understood!" This is a very common mistake: while reading, it seems you understood, but when you come to explain it, you see that the matter is difficult and complex. There is immense power in speaking the words aloud in order to clarify them.
This was how the gedolei Yisrael learned. This is told of the Chofetz Chaim, and likewise of Rav Elyashiv. One of the gedolim recorded in his personal kabbalot - he learned in kollel with Rav Elyashiv in Ohel Sarah - "To summarize the sugya orally and out loud after studying it, just as Rebbi Yosef Shalom does." Rav Elyashiv had a chavruta who learned with him for two years, and they never conversed between themselves. How so? Rav Elyashiv would read the Gemara and say: Abaye asks, how can you say such a thing? If we said otherwise earlier, the ruling must be the opposite - he was effectively giving a shiur to himself, sitting and delivering a lesson. Not only that: when he finished the sugya, he would review and summarize it aloud - Abaye claimed this, Rava replied that this is impossible, and Tosafot explain that Rava disputes Abaye on one point and agrees with him on the second. Afterward: what are the halachic conclusions - if one damages his fellow unintentionally the law is such, if while asleep the law is such, according to the Shach it is this way and according to the Sma it is another. The person sitting beside him had a private maggid shiur; for two years he learned with him without exchanging a word. Now we understand why in every sugya they learned with him, even in obscure sugyot that hardly anyone studies, he had extraordinary clarity, unfolding the topic like a garment with all the opinions, Rishonim, Acharonim, and halachic rulings. Certainly he possessed tremendous genius, but this method of study was what made everything so clear and coherent in his mind.
According to this, we can also interpret our verse: "The wise-hearted is called discerning" - and know that "sweetness of lips increases learning": if you sweeten the matters for yourself, expressing them with your lips and explaining them to yourself, this will add learning and comprehension you did not possess before. Anyone who teaches Gemara sees this regularly: not infrequently, in the midst of delivering a daily shiur, one stops: "Wait, how can this be? There is a major difficulty here!" Upon looking further, one discovers a Rishon or an Acharon who sheds light on the point. And one wonders: why wasn't this noticeable when preparing the sugya? Because then the words were not articulated aloud. But when one speaks them aloud - "this one says this" and "that one says that" - one suddenly notices that the positions seemingly contradict, and zeroes in on the issue. This is what Beruryah, the wife of Rabbi Meir, told that student whom she saw studying in a whisper: Do not read, "For they are life to those who find them (le-motzeihem)," but rather "to those who express them (le-motzieihem)" - expressing them with the mouth. And not merely expressing them, but sweetening them with one's lips and articulating them clearly, and through this, one's understanding and depth will grow.
The "Sweetening" of the Wicked - and the Sweetening of Mitzvot
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: we find this very dynamic among the wicked as well, as it says in Iyov, "Though evil be sweet in his mouth." The wicked reinforce their evil through speech: they produce arguments and justifications for all their vanities and desires, sweetening everything with their lips. Lehavdil, this is precisely what one must do with the holy Torah: sweeten the words with one's lips and articulate them so that the heart is drawn after them.
A further point should be added here: when a person learns something or fulfills a mitzvah, it is crucial that he sweeten it for himself. This has already been discussed at length, but consider the following illustration. Yaakov Avinu, after the angel came to him and said, "I have seen all that Lavan is doing to you," and it became clear to him that an angel had been accompanying him all along, was commanded to return to his homeland. The time had come to leave Lavan, and Yaakov needed to inform his wives. He summoned them to the field, far from any of Lavan's listening devices, convened a meeting, and told them: You know how bitter and difficult things have been for us here, how your father changed my wages ten times over, and in the end we received nothing from him - speaking at length about how miserable their situation had been. Only afterward did he say: And furthermore, the Holy One, blessed be He, told us that we must leave. His wives then replied: Certainly, arise and do so, for "he has consumed our money as well." The question arises: these are the holy Matriarchs - Rachel, Leah, Bilhah, and Zilpah. When one must act according to Hashem's command, it should have been enough to tell them: "The Creator of the world appeared to me; tomorrow we pack our bags and leave." Would any of them have protested? We would not have said a word, so would Rachel and Leah? Why was it necessary to recount everything they had suffered there?
The masters of Mussar explain: learn from here that even when you must tell someone something that is mandatory for him and an unavoidable obligation, sweeten the matter for him so that he does it willingly. The same applies when raising your son to keep mitzvot: do not tell him, "No excuses, no choices, you have to do it, you have no choice, we are Jews and that is that." What kind of child do you raise that way? A bitter child who says: "Look at us religious people, we only suffer; you must do this and you must do that, and Abba says there is no choice - so why should I suffer? There are people who do not suffer, and at some point I might decide to join the group that doesn't suffer." But if you sweeten it for him, showing him what joy there is in serving Hashem, what a privilege it is to be servants of Hashem, how unfortunate are those on the outside whose eyes are blinded, and how great a reward there is for every mitzvah - he will observe the mitzvah, but with joy and of his own free will.
This is what is written here: "The wise-hearted is called discerning, and sweetness of lips increases learning." Even in a matter of a mitzvah, even with something obligatory - sweeten it with your lips. Express how good and praiseworthy it is, and how much benefit will come from it. Chazal in many places point out the benefit in mitzvot, even material benefit: whoever does this is saved from that misfortune, whoever conducts himself this way will never see illness in his lifetime. Should one say, "No, that is unimportant"? On the contrary - it is good to know that when you perform a mitzvah you are not unfortunate, and that there is benefit, blessing, and success in it. And when doing evil - "for it will be a snare to you": it is a landmine, it can explode, beware, it is dangerous. It is beneficial for a person to internalize this, which will lead him to fulfill mitzvot with greater joy. For the mitzvot are for our good, as the Torah explicitly states: "For I have given you good doctrine." You must instill within yourself that this is good for me, rather than saying, "This is miserable, I am unfortunate, I am suffering, but Hashem commanded and I have no choice" - that leads to despising Hashem's mitzvot. Learn this very art of sweetening from the mindset of the wicked, who reinforce their thoughts through their lips to convince themselves that their deeds are right and fitting; do the same with good things, speaking words of praise and goodness about the mitzvot, emphasizing how fitting and right it is to observe them.
In Summary:
The two verses present us with a ladder. "He who reflects wisely upon a matter shall find good" - a person is obligated to contemplate, evaluate, and weigh his path, rather than acting on impulse; in this way he will reach the ultimate purpose. Yet above intellectual calculation stands "and whoever trusts in Hashem, fortunate is he": when calculation indicates that something is beyond your power, or when a mitzvah involves financial loss, or when facing the test of Shabbat observance - you do your part and trust, and the one who trusts is fortunate, serene, and calm, whether he succeeded in the worldly sense or not. In prayer, one should not demand a specific outcome but ask for what is truly best for him, whereas in Torah study one must deliberately reflect and exert effort, for one does not grow through blessings alone. Verse 21 adds: wisdom of the heart leads to discernment, and "sweetness of lips increases learning" - both toward a student, teaching him calmly, with a pleasant countenance, and making the material palatable through parables and examples; toward ourselves, articulating our learning aloud and explaining it to ourselves, "for they are life to those who express them," thereby clarifying and deepening our comprehension; and in chinuch and avodat Hashem, sweetening the mitzvot for ourselves and our children and demonstrating how good and sweet they are: "For I have given you good doctrine."