We are now beginning the eighth chapter of Tractate Sanhedrin. The first five Mishnayos in the chapter all deal with one topic: a ben sorer u'moreh. "Sorer" - from the word for turning away from the path, meaning one who strays from the proper path; "moreh" - from the same root as "zaken mamre", an expression of rebellion. Hence, the concept is understood as a son who strays from the path and rebels.
For context: in the seventh chapter, Mishnah 4, eighteen transgressions punishable by stoning were listed, and the Mishnah went on to detail the laws for most of them. The only topic left to explain is the last one on the list - a ben sorer u'moreh - and it was saved for the eighth chapter before us.
This is, in all likelihood, one of the most difficult passages to understand in the Torah: what did this boy do that he is condemned to stoning? It should be noted first that the Gemara brings a Baraisa that rejects this and maintains that such a case never occurred and never could occur, and the passage was only written to teach us principles, not for actual practice. Nevertheless, we will approach matters according to their simple meaning and study the halachos in depth: how a boy might reach such a state and such a punishment.
The general sequence of events:
First time: A boy who immediately after his bar mitzvah, within the first three months, steals money from his father, buys meat and wine with it, and gluttonously eats and drinks them in hiding away from his parents. The parents discover this and give him a formal warning, in the presence of two witnesses, not to repeat his actions.
Second time: The boy repeats his actions, stealing more money from them, buying meat and wine and gluttonously eating them. The parents come to beis din and testify that this is the second time and that he is gluttonously eating and drinking and behaving wildly, and the beis din gives him a full set of Torah lashes - a very severe measure - and warns him never to do it again.
Third time: The boy is already completely habituated, lacks self-control and has excessive desires. He goes a third time, steals his parents' money, buys meat and wine, hides in another place away from home and gulps it all down. At this stage, the parents have the right, if they so choose, to bring him to trial before a beis din of twenty-three and judge him as a ben sorer u'moreh, and after doing this a third time he is liable to stoning.
The Mishnah will detail many technical points and conditions required for this to actually happen, and ultimately it will become clear just how unlikely it is for such a case to occur in reality.
With all this, the crux of the matter is that the parents have given up on the boy: he has completely spun out of control and become habituated to these addictive actions. The thought is that when the family's money runs out, he will reach a point where he robs people on street corners along the way, and ultimately kills them under threat of a weapon; he will desecrate Shabbos, curse his parents, and commit all the other acts on the downward spiral of terrible character traits and gratification of desires - narcissistic behavior. In the end he will be liable to the death penalty anyway, so a favor is being done for him, as it were, by putting an end to his miserable situation right now. This is the central idea in the passage.
The verses in Parashas Ki Seitzei:
The verses in the passage are not numerous, and some of the halachos are derived from them through midrashic exposition. However, a large part of the halachos described in the five Mishnayos before us is based on tradition, and they have no mention in the words of the verses at all.
"Ki yihyeh l'ish ben sorer u'moreh" - when a man has a son. A "ben" specifically and not a daughter, and the meaning of the word is a young boy: from the age of bar mitzvah, thirteen years old, and the window closes after three months at most, and even earlier, as we will see in the Mishnah, if he begins to reach full maturity.
"Sorer u'moreh" - Rashi explains: "sorer" - turns away from the path, veers from the path; "moreh" - refuses his father's words, rebels against his instructions, related to "mamrim", an expression of rebellion.
"Einennu shomea b'kol aviv uv'kol immo" - he does not listen to his father or to his mother.
"V'yisseru oso" - the parents rebuke him and discipline him.
And how is it known that he did not listen to them the first time? The first time they told him not to do it and warned him, yet he did it anyway. When he did it a second time, "v'yisseru oso" is expounded as actual lashes from beis din, a most severe disciplinary measure. And even to this he does not listen, and out of a complete lack of self-control he does it a third time, despite the terrible consequences known to him.
At this stage, the Torah says, his father and mother take hold of him and bring him out to the elders at the gate - the dayanim in beis din, a beis din of twenty-three - and both parents say to the dayanim: "Bneinu zeh sorer u'moreh einennu shomea b'koleinu" - he does not listen to either of us - "zolel v'sovei" - zolel refers to a glutton, and sovei refers to a drunkard. Rashi brings, based on the Mishnah, the required measure: how much he eats and how much he drinks, as we will see inside later with Hashem's help.
The Torah then dictates that if he is convicted - the entire nation will stone him to death, "Uvi'arta hara mikirbecha" - and you shall clear out the evil from your midst. All of the Jewish people will hear about this terrible and catastrophic act and will fear, ensuring that such a thing will not repeat itself in their own homes and neighborhoods.
What Is He Punished For?
Rashi addresses the obvious question: What exactly did he do to deserve such a terrible punishment? In truth, on the surface, he did not do anything. Stealing money from his parents, drinking wine, and eating meat to his heart's content - these actions do not warrant the death penalty under any circumstances.
Rather, Rashi, based on the Mishnah further on, explains that he is judged based on his ultimate end. The Torah foresees his trajectory and understands how the matter will conclude: the boy cannot control himself, his parents have despaired of him, his behavior has become habitual and will certainly repeat itself, and lacking self-control, he will take whatever is necessary to achieve his desires - escalating to terrible things:
"Sof shemechaleh mamon aviv" - he will ultimately deplete his parents' wealth, and will no longer be able to steal from them.
"Umevakesh limudo" - and he will seek to continue his habits.
"Ve'eino motzei" - and he will not have the money to do so.
"Ve'omed befarashas derachim" - and he will stand at the crossroads, a place frequented by travelers.
"Umelastem es habriyos" - and he will rob people by force, and consequently, he may end up taking lives.
"Amrah Torah yamus zakkai ve'al yamus chayav" - the Torah said let him die innocent, before he incurs the guilt of murder and the like, and let him not die after becoming a murderer.
The Mishnah Itself:
The Mishnah begins: "Ben sorer umoreh, me'eimasai na'aseh ben sorer umoreh?" - from what stage can he become liable? It is clear that the starting point is from the time he becomes obligated in mitzvos, as a minor is not obligated in mitzvos. To this, the Mishnah answers: "Misheyavi shetei se'aros" - from when he produces two hairs.
The underlying concept is this: for a person to be considered a halachic adult according to the Torah, he must meet two conditions:
Chronological maturity: The age of thirteen years for a boy.
Physical maturity: The onset of puberty, which is measured by producing two hairs.
Assuming he produced two hairs on his thirteenth birthday, the count begins from here.
We have a tradition that the window closes after three months in any case. However, it can close even earlier if he reaches full physical maturity, as then he is no longer considered a 'son', and the verse states 'a son', whereas now he is like a man even physically. And this is the language of the Mishnah: "Ve'ad sheyakif zakan" - until his beard fully grows in.
Here an editorial note by Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi is inserted. This wording is what they would recite in their times, before Rebbe compiled the Mishnah, and Rebbe clarifies here: "Hatachton velo ha'elyon" - the reference is not to the beard on his face, but rather to the lower beard, meaning the pubic hair. Once the hair has begun to grow fully below around his private parts, he is considered a 'man' and not a 'son', and the window closes: he can no longer become a stubborn and rebellious son, even if this occurred within three months of his bar mitzvah.
The Mishnah continues with his comment: Why did they originally use the plain term 'beard' and not explicitly state that this refers to pubic hair? "Ela shedibru chachamim belashon nekiyah" - but the Sages spoke in euphemism. The Sages wanted to speak in a refined and clean manner, and therefore refrained from explicitly mentioning pubic hair, speaking instead about hair in general.
The scriptural source for the timeframes:
How do we know that these are the limits? "Shene'emar: Ki yihyeh le'ish ben" - as it is stated: "If a man has a son." The portion opens by stating that a man has a son, and from here two things are derived:
"Ben velo bas" - a son and not a daughter. This entire law only applies to boys and not girls. Although this is unrelated to the timeframes we are discussing, since the word 'ben' is being expounded, this derivation is mentioned as well.
"Ben velo ish" - a son and not a man. This refers to a youth who is still a 'son', a boy, and not a man. When does he become a man? The reasoning is that from the time he is in the midst of puberty, as measured by the full growth of pubic hair, he is considered a man and no longer a boy.
On the other hand, a minor is exempt, as he has not reached the age of mitzvos. This is the starting point: it is clear that the law cannot apply while he is still a minor, before his bar mitzvah, since he is not obligated in mitzvos. Therefore, the window of time is at most from his bar mitzvah until three months later, and even less time than that - until he reaches full maturity, which is measured by the growth of all the hair.
In summary: In this section, we discussed the placement of the portion of the stubborn and rebellious son at the end of the list of those liable to stoning, the meaning of the concept, and the three stages of the process - stealing, gluttony and drunkenness, warning before witnesses, lashes from the court, and finally judgment before a court of twenty-three. We saw the verses in the portion of Ki Seitzei and the explanation of Rashi, that the youth is judged based on his ultimate end: "Let him die innocent and let him not die guilty." And in the first Mishnah, we learned the time limits within which he can be held liable: from the appearance of two hairs at age thirteen until three months later, and even less than that - until he reaches the status of a 'man'.
In the upcoming Mishnayos, we will discuss the many details and conditions required for this law, from which it will become clear just how far this was from actually occurring in reality.