Introduction
We find ourselves in the midst of the emotional encounter between Naomi and her two daughters-in-law on the road from the fields of Moab to the land of Judah. Naomi tries to turn them back to their homes, bestows blessings upon them, and presents before them all the difficulties along the way - yet in response, Ruth makes every effort and clings to her until she accepts the Torah and the mitzvot upon herself. We will follow the explanations of the Malbim, adding the insights of Chazal and the Midrashim connected to this passage.
"May Hashem Grant You" - Beyond Chesed, a Gift
יִתֵּן יְהוָה לָכֶם וּמְצֶאןָ מְנוּחָה אִשָּׁה בֵּית אִישָׁהּ, וַתִּשַּׁק לָהֶן וַתִּשֶּׂאנָה קוֹלָן וַתִּבְכֶּינָה׃ - "May Hashem grant you that you find rest, each woman in the house of her husband." Then she kissed them, and they raised their voices and wept.
In the previous verse, Naomi blessed them: "May Hashem deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me" - and this is chesed in the sense we explained, measure for measure: you performed chesed with me, and you deserve that Hashem perform chesed with you. Now, she adds a completely different type of blessing: "May Hashem grant (yiten) you" - the language of a gift (matanah). Not merely what is due to you by right, but a gift that goes beyond what is deserved: that Hashem grant you rest, each woman in the house of her husband. That you may remarry, and that this time you will have tranquility - unlike with your first husbands, where you had no rest, as they died in their youth.
"Her Mother's House" Versus "Her Husband's House"
Naomi told them, "Return, each of you to her mother's house," and in contrast, she blesses them, "and may you find rest, each woman in the house of her husband." The Malbim explains: A widow who no longer wishes to remarry does not return to her mother's house; rather, she acquires a home of her own, where she can have her own independence. The one who does return to her mother's house is specifically a widow who wishes to marry again - for she says to herself, "Why should I buy a home and settle down on my own? It is only temporary, a matter of a few months." Therefore, Naomi tells them: Return, each of you to her mother's house, for your intention is to remarry - and I bless you that you find rest, each woman in the house of her husband, so that you will never again experience bereavement and widowhood, but only tranquility, and this will be a gift from Hashem.
And why does it say "her mother's house" rather than "her father's house," as the Torah states, "to her father's house, as in her youth"? Chazal famously explain that here, it refers to gentile women, and among gentiles there is no established lineage. In Israel, one knows who the mother is - there is no doubt about this, as she was witnessed giving birth; and one also knows who the father is, because the people of Israel are holy and pure. But among gentiles, while the mother is known, who the father is remains an open question. Therefore, she did not say "each woman to her father's house," but rather "each woman to her mother's house."
"Lachem" with a Mem - The Reward for Forty Steps
Notice the grammatical anomaly in the verse: "May Hashem grant you (lachem)" - yet they were women, so it should have said lachen! Chazal explain: It was written with the masculine letter mem to hint that they would receive the reward for the forty steps they walked in accompanying Naomi. For we find regarding Goliath that he "defied and blasphemed the ranks of the living God" for forty days - and why was judgment suspended for him for forty days instead of eliminating him sooner? Because he was a descendant of Haraphah, and Haraphah is Orpah; in the merit of the forty steps his mother took to accompany Naomi, forty days were granted to him. This is an immense lesson: The Holy One, Blessed be He, does not withhold the reward of any creature, and He rewards even a single step of kindness.
Why Did They Weep?
"Each woman in the house of her husband (beit ishah)" - meaning her husband's home, which is why the final hei has a mappiq. And why does the verse say, "and they raised their voices and wept"? The Midrash explains: Because she told them, "and may you find rest, each woman in the house of her husband" - that you should remarry - they were reminded of their former husbands, and therefore they wept. Furthermore, on the words "and may you find rest," Chazal expounded: A woman finds true contentment only in her husband's home. Where does a woman feel secure, and where does she find rest? In her husband's home. When she is in her parents' home, she does not have complete peace of mind, and ultimately she will always yearn to return to her own husband's home.
"For we will return with you to your people"
וַתֹּאמַרְנָה לָּהּ, כִּי אִתָּךְ נָשׁוּב לְעַמֵּךְ׃ - And they said to her, "Surely we will return with you to your people."
Here the daughters-in-law reveal their intentions: they do not intend merely to escort her some distance toward the land of Judah and then return to Moab, but rather "with you we will return to your people" - we wish to remain among the members of your nation. And take note: they do not say here that they wish to convert, but merely to live with you wherever you reside.
Some explain that the response in the verse is divided into two: "For with you we will return" - this is Orpah's response, whose sole intention was to accompany her on the road and perhaps even settle with her in the Land of Israel, but without any intention of converting. "To your people" - this is Ruth's response, who is saying: I intend to become part of your people.
However, one must ask: What does "we will return to your people" mean? After all, she is going to convert, and a convert is not someone who returns - they were never here before! Rather, this can be understood in light of what Chazal teach: that the souls of all converts were present at Mount Sinai. If so, they are not detached from us at all - they were here, and now they are returning. And it is well known (cited in the name of the Vilna Gaon or the Zohar) regarding the souls of converts: when the Holy One, Blessed is He, offered the Torah to the nations of the world, each nation asked what was written in it, and He told them "Do not steal," "Do not commit adultery," and the like, and they said they did not want it. Yet within those nations there were individuals who did want it, and those individuals are the souls of converts who eventually convert and merit joining the heritage of Hashem.
"Do I yet have sons in my womb" - A Figure of Speech
וַתֹּאמֶר נָעֳמִי שֹׁבְנָה בְנֹתַי, לָמָּה תֵלַכְנָה עִמִּי, הַעוֹד לִי בָנִים בְּמֵעַי וְהָיוּ לָכֶם לַאֲנָשִׁים׃ - And Naomi said, "Turn back, my daughters; why should you go with me? Do I yet have sons in my womb, that they may become your husbands?"
Naomi tells them: I have good advice for you - turn back, my daughters; why should you go with me? After all, the members of my people will not want to marry you. And if your hope is that I will marry you off, since you were already my daughters-in-law and I would not mind marrying my sons to you again - to that she says: "Do I yet have sons in my womb?"
The Malbim raises a difficulty: According to the grammatical rules he established in several places, the term "sons" is applied only to those who have already been born, whereas a fetus is not called a son. If they are sons, they have already been born, and if they are in her womb, they are fetuses! Rather, she was truly speaking figuratively, saying to them: Do I have grown sons who can marry you immediately? Do you imagine that I am hiding unseen sons inside my womb, and that I can bring grown sons out of my womb right now to become your husbands? As if such a thought could even occur to her. That is to say: surely you are not planning to wait for sons that I might bear, for by the time I bear sons, you will already be old. Some say that by saying "Do I yet have sons in my womb," she hinted that she had been carrying a fetus and miscarried it, as Chazal explain.
Ten Years Without a Husband - The Secret of "I Have Hope"
שֹׁבְנָה בְנֹתַי לֵכְןָ, כִּי זָקַנְתִּי מִהְיוֹת לְאִישׁ, כִּי אָמַרְתִּי יֶשׁ לִי תִקְוָה, גַּם הָיִיתִי הַלַּיְלָה לְאִישׁ וְגַם יָלַדְתִּי בָנִים׃ - "Turn back, my daughters, go, for I am too old to have a husband. Even if I thought I had hope, even if I were to have a husband tonight and were also to bear sons..."
Here the Malbim cites a wondrous Midrash: "Indeed, had I belonged to a husband tonight, I would have borne sons." That is to say, had she remarried that very night, she would have given birth. What is the meaning of this?
Our Sages taught that a woman who has remained unmarried for ten years can no longer bear children. The Gemara challenged this: But Rav Chisda's daughter was a widow for ten years and gave birth afterward! The Gemara answered: Her mind was set on remarrying. That is, during those ten years she never gave up hope, but rather anticipated remarrying throughout her widowhood. The matter depends on despair: ordinarily, if a woman waited ten years without a husband and had no intention of remarrying, if she subsequently marries, the Gemara states that she will not give birth. This was the case in their time; as for today, it is not clear, and it is possible that human physiology has changed in this regard, just as nature has changed in many matters.
Now here it is written, "and they dwelt there about ten years," and Elimelech died first - meaning Naomi had been a widow for ten years. It follows that she could not bear children except in one of two ways: either she never gave up hope of remarrying and continuously anticipated it during all that time - in which case she could still bear children even after ten years; or she marries immediately, this very day, since precisely today the ten years are coming to an end.
Now see how beautifully this fits into the verse: "Turn back, my daughters, go, for I am too old to have a husband" - having remained without a husband for ten years, I can no longer marry in order to bear children. "Even if I were to say: I have hope" - the one possibility of bearing children would be only if throughout the ten years I maintained hope of remarrying, in which case the ten years would not constitute a barrier or disruption. "Even if I had a husband tonight" - the second possibility: since tonight is the final night of the ten years, if I marry tonight, the ten years have not yet concluded and I could still bear children. This is what the Midrash means: Had she taken a husband tonight, she could still bear sons - because this was the very last night of the ten years.
"Halahen teshabbernah" - Would you wait for them?
הֲלָהֵן תְּשַׂבֵּרְנָה עַד אֲשֶׁר יִגְדָּלוּ, הֲלָהֵן תֵּעָגֵנָה לְבִלְתִּי הֱיוֹת לְאִישׁ, אַל בְּנֹתַי כִּי מַר לִי מְאֹד מִכֶּם כִּי יָצְאָה בִי יַד יְהוָה׃ - Would you wait for them until they grow up? Would you remain bound for them, not to marry a man? No, my daughters! For it is far more bitter for me than for you, because the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.
And even assuming I were to marry and give birth - is that what you are counting on? "Halahen teshabbernah" - an expression of waiting and expectation, as in "they wait for You" (eilecha yeshabbeiru) and "whose hope is in the Lord his God" (sibro al Hashem Elokav): a person who waits and hopes for something, with reason to believe that the expectation will materialize. In other words: Do you truly consider it reasonable to wait and expect that this will come to pass until they grow up?
And there are several doubts here. First, who says they will survive to adulthood? Perhaps they will die in childhood - which was extremely common in those days, when a person could die from any minor illness or mild infection, as there were no antibiotics, vaccines, or modern medicine. Second, even if they do grow up - "would you remain bound for them, not to marry a man?" Would you wait without marrying all those years until they grow up, until age fourteen or fifteen?
"Al benotai" - An expression of woe
What is the meaning of "al benotai"? The Midrash explains that it is related to "Lament (eli) like a maiden" and "Woe (alalai) is me" - an expression of weeping and grief. That is to say: Woe is me, my daughters, "because the hand of the Lord has gone out against me."
And "the hand of the Lord" indicates a plague, as in "behold, the hand of the Lord will be upon your livestock." Rabbi Levi said: Wherever "the hand of the Lord" is mentioned, it refers to the plague of pestilence, and the prototype for all of them is "behold, the hand of the Lord will be." But the Malbim wonders: Why does it say "the hand of the Lord has gone out (yatz'ah) against me" rather than "was (hayetah) upon me"? For this expression usually appears in the language of being - "behold, the hand of the Lord will be (hoya)," "let Your hand be against me." The Malbim explains: The language of departure ("going out") means that He had exhausted all His strikes upon her, until, as it were, there was nothing left with which to strike her. She lost her wealth, she lost her husband, she lost the unborn child in her womb, she lost her sons - she lost everything. Therefore it says "has gone out" - the hand of the Lord has already delivered its blow and departed, for nothing remains here; nothing was left to her except the cloak on her skin. In contrast, "was upon" would imply that it still lingers and can strike again. And this is what she tells them: For me, all possible blows have already run their course, but for you, the hand of the Lord has not yet departed - other blows could still strike you.
"Te'agenah" - From the root of a circle or delay
What is the meaning of "halahen te'agenah"? Rashi explains that it is an expression of confinement and restriction, similar to "he drew a circle (ag ugah) and stood inside it" - he made a circle. Children sing the nursery rhyme, "Ugah, ugah, ugah, bema'agal nachogah" ("Circle, circle, circle, in a circle we will dance"), and some mistakenly think this refers to an actual cake (also ugah in modern Hebrew), but that is not the intention; rather, ugah means a circle, though this usage is less familiar today. Indeed, even cake was called ugah because in their time it was baked round, and likewise challah was named because loaves were round, from the root of dance (machol) and circle. This is the meaning of te'agenah: Will you remain confined as if inside a circle, unable to step outside?
Rashi in Masechet Bava Kamma (80a) explains that te'agenah is an expression of delay: would you be willing to delay yourselves so much and grow so old just to wait and marry them? But one thing is clear: halan ta'agenah does not stem from the root of igun (being anchored or chained). And why is a woman whose husband disappeared called an agunah? Because she has cast an anchor - a ship that does not continue sailing on its journey is described as having dropped anchor, and likewise an agunah cannot move on with her life, but remains confined in her place. What compelled Rashi not to interpret it this way here? If it were derived from the concept of an agunah, it should have been written te'agannah with a doubled nun, since the nun denotes the feminine plural subject, as in tishbarnah or tamtennah. To avoid writing a double nun, Hebrew grammar places a dagesh in the single nun instead of repeating the letter. Here, however, there is no dagesh in the nun - te'agenah - and therefore its meaning derives from the expression ug ugah (to draw a circle, lingering or delaying), rather than dropping anchor and confinement.
"For it is far more bitter for me than for you"
The commentators explain: even if you were to decide to wait - this is not good for me, and I do not want this for you. Why? Because I cannot bear to watch your suffering, and the Gemara teaches that the pain of physical deprivation (tza'ar haguf) is immensely difficult. I cannot bear to see the pain of you remaining unmarried for so many years.
"For only death will separate between me and you"
וַתֹּאמֶר רוּת אַל תִּפְגְּעִי בִי לְעָזְבֵךְ לָשׁוּב מֵאַחֲרָיִךְ, כִּי אֶל אֲשֶׁר תֵּלְכִי אֵלֵךְ וּבַאֲשֶׁר תָּלִינִי אָלִין, עַמֵּךְ עַמִּי וֵאלֹהַיִךְ אֱלֹהָי׃ - And Rut said: "Do not urge me to leave you, to turn back from following you; for wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God.
בַּאֲשֶׁר תָּמוּתִי אָמוּת וְשָׁם אֶקָּבֵר, כֹּה יַעֲשֶׂה יְהוָה לִי וְכֹה יוֹסִיף כִּי הַמָּוֶת יַפְרִיד בֵּינִי וּבֵינֵךְ׃ - Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried; may Hashem do so to me and more also, if anything but death separates me and you."
Rut says: I understand that death would separate me and you, and that is precisely why I am so insistent! It is clear to me that walking side by side with you in companionship is only for this world; but the moment we both die, it will suddenly become clear where you stand and where I stand - it will become evident that you belong to the people of Israel, and to you were given all the promises of the Nevi'im, the resurrection of the dead, Gan Eden, and the World to Come, whereas I, Heaven forbid, would remain tied to the sitra achara, to those places where the soul of a gentile descends. Therefore, I seek to convert - so that even death will not separate us, and even after death we will remain together.
Through this, she demonstrates that she believes in the resurrection of the dead, in reward and punishment, and in the World to Come. And when she said, "your God is my God" and "wherever you go, I will go" - she declared her faith in everything that Naomi believes in.
Acceptance of the Mitzvot - The Midrash
Chazal explain that here Rut accepted upon herself the practical mitzvot as well, and this is the language of the Midrash: From here our Sages, of blessed memory, taught that when a prospective convert comes to convert, we inform him of some of the punishments, so that if he wishes to reconsider, he may reconsider. One who comes to convert must not think this is a walk in the park; being a Jew is no simple matter. We tell him: know that there are punishments - but not excessively so, as we do not wish to terrify him, but rather ensure he understands what he is entering into.
Notice that everything Naomi said is not explicitly recorded in the text; rather, from Rut's responses, we understand what was told to her. This is a well-known methodology in Chazal, where the question is deduced from the answer, a logical inference that anyone can understand. If someone walks into a room, looks outside, and says, "There are seventeen people outside" - one does not need to hear the question; from the answer, it is evident he was asked how many people were out there.
And so the Midrash relates: Naomi said to her, "We are forbidden to walk beyond the Shabbat boundary (techum Shabbat)" - she replied, "Wherever you go, I will go." She said to her, "We are forbidden to be in seclusion (yichud) - a female with a male who is not her husband" - she replied, "Wherever you lodge, I will lodge; whatever is permitted to you, I will do as well." She said to her, "Our people are set apart from the other nations by 613 mitzvot" - she replied, "Your people shall be my people; I am ready for your people to be mine." She said to her, "Idolatry is forbidden to us" - she replied, "And your God is my God; I accept your God and none other." She said to her, "Four forms of capital punishment were entrusted to the Beit Din" - for it is no simple matter to be a Jew; for desecrating Shabbat and other severe sins, there are death penalties administered by Beit Din: stoning, burning, decapitation, and strangulation - she replied, "Where you die, I will die; I am even prepared to die for the sake of observing the mitzvot." She said to her, "Two separate burial grounds were entrusted to the Beit Din, one for those stoned and burned, and one for those decapitated and strangled - know that there are distinctions even in death and burial, and one who was executed by stoning is not buried beside one who was executed by strangulation" - she replied, "And there will I be buried; wherever I am meant to be buried, there will I be buried."
"And she saw that she was determined"
וַתֵּרֶא כִּי מִתְאַמֶּצֶת הִיא לָלֶכֶת אִתָּהּ, וַתֶּחְדַּל לְדַבֵּר אֵלֶיהָ׃ - "And she saw that she was determined to go with her, and she ceased speaking to her."
The Malbim explains: imutz means the strengthening of the heart, as in "Be strong and courageous (ve-ematz)," and "Let your heart take courage (ve-ya'ametz), and hope in Hashem." "Mitametzet" indicates that her heart was firmly resolved, that she genuinely sought to convert with a whole heart. When Naomi heard this, she ceased speaking to her. This is indeed the ruling codified in the laws of conversion: after informing the prospective convert of some of the lighter commandments and some of the weightier commandments, if we see that he remains steadfast, we accept him. We do not continue to overburden or intimidate him. Once we have explained to him that the Jewish people are downtrodden and rejected in their exile, that it is not easy to be a Jew, and that there are numerous commandments and severe punishments - and after he accepts this, we no longer attempt to dissuade him, for he is evidently a holy soul coming to join the Jewish people.
In summary:
Naomi blessed her daughters-in-law with two blessings - chesed corresponding to what they had done, and the gift of rest in the home of a husband; and from the shift in phrasing to "lachem," Chazal taught that the reward for their forty paces was not lost. From that point on, she presented all the hardships before them: she had no sons, and according to the law of ten childless years, she had no hope of giving birth unless she had not given up hope or were to marry that very night; and even if she were to give birth, it was inconceivable that they would wait until the boys grew up. "Al benotai" - woe to me, for the hand of Hashem has gone out against me, having already expended all His strikes upon me. Even so, Rut clung to her, accepted the commandments upon herself from the Shabbat boundaries to burial, and declared that not even death would separate them - and when Naomi saw that her heart was truly resolved, she ceased speaking to her, in accordance with the Halachah that we do not push away a holy soul that comes to attach itself to the heritage of Hashem.