Chapter 1 of Megillat Eicha is the lament of Knesset Yisrael over its destruction, and toward its end, she turns to the nations, pleading with them to look upon her agony. In verse 19, she seemingly offers an apology and an explanation: Why was no helper found for me? Why did I not turn to those whom it was fitting to turn to? The answer is bitter: I turned specifically to those who feigned love, and they are the very ones who deceived me.
קָרָאתִי לַמְאַהֲבַי הֵמָּה רִמּוּנִי, כֹּהֲנַי וּזְקֵנַי בָּעִיר גָּוָעוּ, כִּי בִקְשׁוּ אֹכֶל לָמוֹ וְיָשִׁיבוּ אֶת נַפְשָׁם׃ - "I called to my lovers, but they deceived me; my priests and my elders perished in the city, for they sought food for themselves to revive their souls."
Knesset Yisrael says to the nations: Come and behold my pain, and do not wonder why I did not go to the priests and the elders. "I called to my lovers" - it was not the priests and elders I sought, but the false prophets. They made promises; they promised to protect us. One said: No problem, with one holy Divine Name we will bring down a wall of water here and no enemy will approach. And the other said: With another holy Name we will bring down a wall of fire here and no enemy will be able to stand. "They deceived me."
And indeed, who can act against the Holy One, blessed be He? "There is no wisdom, nor understanding, nor counsel against Hashem." For the Holy One, blessed be He, changed the names of the angels. They thought these angels were their lovers; they called upon them - but the angel was unavailable. Hashem had swapped his name. What you call out to as an angel of fire is actually an angel of water, and what you call to as water is actually of fire. Thus, all the yichudim and all the intentions with holy Names achieved nothing, for it is impossible to act against the will of the Creator, blessed be He.
And the priests and elders could not have saved them either, for they could not even save themselves: "My priests and my elders perished in the city, for they sought food for themselves to revive their souls" - and found none.
Rashi examines the wording: Why does it not say le'ohavai ("to my lovers"), but rather le-me'ahavai? Because the verse speaks of someone who pretends to be a lover. And as the Malbim famously explains in many places: when the letter mem appears at the start of a word, it often denotes a simulation - not that something is truly so, but rather as if it were so. "There is one who feigns wealth (mit'asher) yet has nothing" - he is not wealthy, nor does the verse say "one who will become wealthy," but rather mit'asher, acting as if he is wealthy. "There is one who feigns poverty (mitroshesh) yet has great wealth" - he acts as if he is impoverished. So too here: me'ahavai are not ohavai, but rather those who merely pretended to love me, while in truth they did not love at all.
Whoever comes to console you and say: "Don't worry, no trouble will come, don't trouble yourself, don't do teshuvah, why bother exerting yourself?" - is only pretending to love you. "Those rabbis are extremists, they have demands, they love to scare people with Gog and Magog and calamities; let it go, Hashem loves His people Israel and would never bring trouble upon the Jewish people." They deceived me. Do not let yourself be deceived. It is precisely those who speak the truth to your face who truly love you.
And what did they do with them? They took Yirmiyahu and threw him into the courtyard of the guard, and they tore up Megillat Eicha. Why? "Don't frighten us, don't tell us bad things, you are putting faintness into the hearts of the people. Be sympathetic, be a pleasant prophet who makes comforting promises, an accommodating person who brings the Torah down to the people and is willing to bend a little and be flexible. Why must you rabbis be so extreme?" They deceived me. Anyone who sells you such a Torah is selling you a bill of goods. Anyone who brings you close and converts you even when you cannot genuinely convert has deceived you; you are not a ger. "But look, he gave me a certificate, he performed a tevilah for me!" Just a moment: did you intend to accept Torah and mitzvot? No. If so, "I called to my lovers, but they deceived me." That very person who wanted to seem so pleasant toward you is the one who deceived you. It is better that they tell you the truth to your face and you confront it, rather than having them deceive you only for you to collapse in the end along with the stories they fed you.
The author of Lechem Dim'ah explains that the verse alludes to what the Ishmaelites did to us, as Rashi also cites. When Israel was exiled from their land, our "pleasant and sympathetic" cousins arrived, the descendants of Ishmael - with friends like these, who needs enemies! They came out toward us, appearing compassionate, for they are renowned for hospitality. Seeing us in our distress, they brought out salty foods - finally, someone was offering food! They also brought us waterskins - finally, someone was offering a drink! But when people brought the skins to their mouths, they turned out to be inflated skins filled with air; the air entered a person's bowels, and he died. This is what is meant in Yeshayahu: "In the forest of Arabia you will lodge... bring water to meet the thirsty" - we expected them to bring water in Arabia, but the Arab nations did not do so.
And not only did they die, but also "my priests and my elders perished in the city," and that was for another reason: because I did not perform charity with the poor. But who are "my lovers"? Those whom I thought were my cousins who might help me - "and they deceived me," bringing me inflated waterskins.
The Targum explains: Yerushalayim said, when I was delivered into the hands of Nevuchadnetzar, I called to my lovers - these are the nations with whom I made a covenant that they would save me. They promised to come help us against our enemies. "And they deceived me": when the moment of testing arrived, not only did they stand passively by, but they actually went and assisted the enemy in conquering us. You took money from us, we sent you gifts and tribute - and this is the response? Indeed: "I called to my lovers, but they deceived me." Just as the prophet says: do not rely on Egypt, it is a staff of a broken reed. A person imagines he is leaning on something, but the reed is splintered at its tip and pierces the palm of anyone who leans on it. Furthermore, they marched alongside Titus and Vespasian, building siege ramps against Yerushalayim, causing the priests and elders in the city to faint, begging for support and bread to revive their souls, with no one to provide for them.
The Lechem Dim'ah explains: during the destruction, the young men, maidens, and youths went outside the city, hoping that perhaps they would be kept alive, that perhaps the enemy would give them something to eat. In the end, instead of giving and helping, the enemy took them captive. This is what was said earlier: "My maidens and my young men have gone into captivity." Consequently, those who remained in the city were afraid to leave: Should I also go out just to be captured? Better to survive here another day or two. Therefore, "my priests and my elders perished in the city, for they sought food for themselves to revive their souls" - "to revive their souls" meaning that they passed away from the sheer agony of having no food.
The Holy One, blessed be He, acts with a person measure for measure. One who shows mercy to His creations is shown mercy from Heaven; and one who is cruel, Heaven forbid, is dealt with accordingly from Above. The Lechem Dim'ah says: Observe how precisely this aligns here. "I called to my lovers" - I pleaded with the angels, the heavenly angels, to pray on my behalf. "They deceived me" - as our Sages remarked on the verse, "all her friends have betrayed her," referring to Michael and Gabriel. We were certain they would come to our aid, yet they deceived me.
And why were they so cruel to me? The answer comes in the continuation of the verse: "My priests and my elders perished in the city." Did I show mercy to my priests and elders? I did not show mercy to them; I did not give them bread. If so, are you surprised that your loved ones did not help you? Michael and Gabriel, the heavenly princes whom we expected to help us - just as your lovers called out to you while your priests and elders were perishing in the city and you did nothing to help them, so too when you call out to your lovers, they will deceive you.
Perhaps one might seek to judge favorably and say: the people of Israel did not know that those elders, priests, and Torah scholars were destitute; they did not realize the severity of their condition, and therefore did not assist or support them. To this, the verse replies: "For they sought food for themselves." They knocked on doors, pleaded with philanthropists, begging for food - any food at all - so long as there was something to satisfy their hunger.
Furthermore, one can explain: there are two types of people who knock on doors. There is the one who knocks and collects for himself, and there is the one who knocks and collects for others. When someone knocks and is himself in need, and you can see that his situation is dire - generally we identify more and give more. But when someone comes and says, "I am collecting for so-and-so," very often the question immediately arises: how much of this will actually reach so-and-so? In simple terms: what percentage are you working on? How much am I giving here to the middleman, and how much to the needy person himself? And all this is assuming there really is a person in need, for there are those who keep everything for themselves.
A story is told of one such solicitor who went to solicit a wealthy benefactor abroad, who was accustomed to always giving him a thousand dollars. This time, the benefactor suddenly lashed out at him: "What yeshivot? What avreichim? Parasites! I do not support parasites." The solicitor had not expected such a tongue-lashing; he realized there was nothing to hope for and got up to leave. The benefactor said to him: "Wait a moment." He wrote him a check - for nine hundred dollars. The solicitor looked at him: "What happened?" He replied: "Listen, the yeshivah boys are parasites, but I do not want to harm your livelihood. You work, you deserve it." It turned out that nine hundred went to him, and one hundred to the yeshivah. In any case, the usual accepted cut is fifty percent.
And the analogy: when someone collects for others - people are less open to him. When a person tells you, "My situation is difficult, I am ill, I am going through such-and-such" - one identifies with him far more. And this is what the verse says: "for they sought food for themselves" - it is immense callousness not to respond. They did not ask for someone else, nor did they even ask for money, but for food. There are people on the street who ask for ten shekels for a falafel portion, and you say, "Let's go buy you a falafel portion" - and no, he wants the money, because he is actually talking about a different kind of "portion."
But "they sought food for themselves" means that the person is genuinely in need, truly destitute. And to such a needy soul you did not lend an ear? You were cruel? Therefore we say: "I called for my lovers, but they deceived me" - do not be surprised that when you call out, you are not answered, for when they called out to you, they received from you neither a response nor assistance.
This verse teaches two truths. The first: me'ahavai ("those who act like lovers") are not ohavai ("true lovers") - the letter mem is the mem of similitude, and whoever reassures, flatters, and promises that nothing bad will happen - whether a false prophet, an illusory ally like Ishmael who offered inflated, empty waterskins, or the allies who ultimately marched alongside the enemy against Jerusalem - all of them, "they deceived me." The true lover is the one who tells you the truth to your face. And the second: "My priests and my elders perished in the city, for they sought food for themselves" - measure for measure. Because we had no mercy on the poor and the elders who sought food for their very survival, no mercy was shown to us from Above, and not even Michael and Gabriel stood by our side. One who opens his hand and his ear to the cry of the needy merits that his own call will also be answered.