Introduction: A Shiur Inspired by the Teachings of Rabbi Boaz Shalom - Kohelet Chapter 9
We stand before verses that address man's preparation for his life and his end: how a person should live his fleeting days, how he should be ready at every moment for the summons from Above, and what he should labor for so that a true portion remains for him in life. Two verses lie before us - "At all times let your clothes be white" and "See life with a wife whom you love" - and both are filled with homilies of Chazal and practical ethical instruction.
בְּכׇל־עֵת יִהְיוּ בְגָדֶיךָ לְבָנִים וְשֶׁמֶן עַל־רֹאשְׁךָ אַל־יֶחְסָר׃ (ט, ח) - At all times let your clothes be white, and let oil not be lacking upon your head.
Prepare Yourself at Every Moment
Rashi explains: "Prepare yourself at every moment with good deeds, so that if you die today - you will enter in peace." What is this referring to? The Midrash brings a parable for this: Shlomo the Wise compared this to a man whom the king invited to a banquet, but did not set a specific time for him. He told him: I want you to attend my banquet, and I will let you know when. And how will he notify him? At a moment's notice. He sends him a message: Within twenty minutes you must appear, on the spot.
If he is wise and clever - he immediately washes his garment, bathes, and anoints himself with oil, and does so the next day, and every day, until the time he is summoned to the banquet. He ensures that he is always clean, that his clothes are clean, that his hair is groomed, that he is ready. They summon him - and in a single moment he arrives: Yes, my lord the king.
But if he is a fool - he does not look after himself; he does not bathe his body, does not cut his hair, and does not clean his clothes. Suddenly the summons arrives: In twenty minutes you must be at the king's table. What will he do now? He does not know where to run first - to the shower, to the barber, or to the laundry. Therefore Shlomo says: "At all times let your clothes be white." Why? Because you do not know when the summons from Above will come. No man knows when he will be called from Heaven, and no man knows when, Heaven forbid, he will be summoned to give an accounting. Therefore - "Prepare yourself at every moment with good deeds, so that if you die today you will enter in peace."
This is terrifying, and not to open one's mouth to the Satan, but we all know the harsh reality where a person is with you in the morning, and by evening, may Hashem have mercy, people are attending his funeral. What happened? A car accident, a disaster, a tragedy. And sometimes it is not sudden like that, but within a short period: a person was with you, and after two weeks he is gone. May Hashem protect us. Therefore, a person must prepare himself at every moment with good deeds, so that if, Heaven forbid, he is called - he will be ready. This is the opposite of the attitude of those who say: "There is still time," "Why rush?", "Life is long," "We are still young," "Don't pressure me, let me enjoy, you only live once." True, you only live once - but you do not know when you will be summoned, and then you will find yourself unprepared.
Repent One Day Before Your Death
And so our Sages teach (Shabbat 153a): Rabbi Eliezer says, repent one day before your death. His students asked him: Does a person know on which day he will die? He replied to them: All the more so should he repent today, lest he die tomorrow, and thus he will spend all his days in repentance. A proof for this is our verse: "And Shlomo also said in his wisdom: At all times let your clothes be white, and let oil not be lacking upon your head." The exact same principle: a person must always be ready for the summons from Above.
If the Verse Speaks of White Clothes and Good Oils
Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai said: If the verse speaks of white garments and fine oils - meaning, according to the literal sense, that you keep your garments clean and that oil should not be lacking on your head (what today is called hair gel, and in their day was oil) - after all, the nations of the world have far more impressive things in this regard: more exclusive garments, more prestigious fashions, more exquisite oils. Rather, the verse speaks only of mitzvot and good deeds. "At all times let your clothes be white" - clean of sins, for sin is a blemish, a stain, and dirt, while merits and mitzvot are the "garment of the sages," the spiritual attire. "And let oil not be lacking upon your head" - these are the mitzvot and good deeds.
And the distinction is precise: "let your garments always be white" refers to being without flaw, without stain or dirt - corresponding to refraining from sin, like a person guarding his garment from becoming soiled. Oil, on the other hand, is an addition to the person - and this corresponds to the mitzvot, which are positive actions that one performs.
Tzitzit and Tefillin
The Midrash there (Shabbat 153a) also offers another interpretation: "'Let your garments always be white' - this refers to tzitzit; 'and let not oil be lacking on your head' - this refers to tefillin." Indeed, the mitzvot of tzitzit and tefillin apply "at all times." We do not wear tefillin all day because it is very difficult to guard them without distraction (hesech hada'at), but we should know that originally tefillin were meant to be worn throughout the entire day. Today, there is the Zilberman community in the Old City of Jerusalem; anyone visiting there can see people walking around during the day with small tefillin on their heads beneath their hats. This is an approach they have chosen - it is not the practice instructed by the leading Torah authorities of our times, but such an opinion exists nonetheless, and they follow the view of the Vilna Gaon, who also held that one should wear tefillin all day.
And why are tefillin called "oil"? Perhaps it is related to the idea of "a rich thing" (davar shamen), meaning something choice and superior. Tefillin are superior to tzitzit because they contain the Holy Names of Hashem (azkarot): the parchments themselves possess intrinsic sanctity, and the batim (boxes) and straps are accessories of holiness (tashmishei kedushah). A tallit, by contrast, is merely an accessory to a mitzvah (tashmishei mitzvah) and does not even have the status of tashmishei kedushah. Therefore, tefillin are compared to oil - vastly more exalted.
Turn from Evil and Do Good - The Parable of the Military Uniform
The Imrei Shefer explains that the verse comes to say: Do not set your heart upon worldly vanities, but rather focus on the ultimate purpose. And this purpose consists of two dimensions - passive restraint ("sit and do not do") and active performance ("arise and do"). A person's deeds are divided into two: what one must be careful to avoid - do not speak lashon hara, do not take what belongs to another, do not gaze at forbidden things; all of this falls under the category of "turn from evil" (sur me-ra). And then there is "do good" (aseh tov) - fulfill mitzvot, learn Torah, put on tefillin, observe Shabbat.
In this regard, says the Imrei Shefer, we are like the servants of a king who commanded them to prepare white military uniforms - garments upon which every tiny stain is visible - and warned them that if any stain were found upon them, woe to them. When the time comes to appear before the king, even if they were to take off their uniforms and put on clean civilian clothes, entirely spotless - they would still not have fulfilled the king's command. Why? Because the king commanded them to wear military uniforms, for by wearing the uniform you prove that you are his servant and part of his army; in civilian clothes, you show nothing of the sort. So it is with us: even if we guard ourselves from becoming soiled by any sin, but walk about in "civilian clothes" - we have still not fulfilled our obligation if we lack mitzvot.
For Chazal say: Lest you say, "I have guarded my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking deceit, so I will go and indulge in sleep" - meaning, can I now just rest? The verse teaches: "Turn from evil and do good." It is not enough to avoid sins; one must also perform mitzvot. This is an argument often heard from many people: "What sin do I commit? Why am I any less good than you? Why do I need to be religious when I don't commit any sin?" Aside from the fact that one can easily see countless sins being committed, even if a person were correct that he commits no sin - what about "do good"? There is "turn from evil" and there is "do good," and one is obligated in both.
Therefore: "Let your garments always be white" - be careful that your garments remain white and unstained by any sin, for white shows stains faster than anything else. And along with all this - "and let not oil be lacking on your head." Oil, as in the verses "Because of the fragrance of your good oils" and "Let not the oil of the head cease from my head," expresses spiritual abundance and holiness, and symbolizes wisdom, just as we see with the Menorah, which symbolizes wisdom. Here, under the term "oil," it expresses the mitzvot: it is not enough that you have no stains; rather, you must wear the King's uniform and fulfill His mitzvot.
Postponing One's Teshuvah - What About the Mitzvot?
This connects to what we discussed earlier: a person who says to himself, "There is still time, no need to hurry, I will do teshuvah at the end of my life." First of all, most people never end up repenting - just try changing at age eighty; who is capable of starting to change then? Second, suppose he lived a long life and Hashem granted him the opportunity to repent, and he repented at age eighty, and let us even say that based on his repentance all his sins were forgiven - which itself is extremely difficult, as it requires teshuvah of the highest caliber, and how can everything be forgiven when all his desires have already faded on their own? But suppose he was forgiven. What will become of the mitzvot? After all, a person's heavenly garment (haluka derabbanan) is woven from the mitzvot he performed. This person will arrive in the World to Come and say: "Look, all my sins have been erased." They will say to him: "Yes, but for eighty years you did not put on tefillin, for eighty years you did not keep Shabbat, for eighty years you did not learn Torah." Thus, he remains empty-handed. From this we learn that besides "turn from evil," one must acquire "do good," and the earlier one does teshuvah, the more mitzvot he will merit, having substantive merit with which to arrive in Heaven and receive his reward.
Garments as Character Traits: One Who Knows How to Turn His Cloak
The Sha'arei Simchah explains that "Let your garments always be white" refers to a person's character traits, that they should always be pure and clean. The Gemara asks: Who is considered a Torah scholar? One who knows how to turn his robe inside out. At its simple level, this means that he does not walk around with his robe inside out, for this is unfitting for Torah scholars. However, the Tal Orot explains that the "robe" hints at character traits - clothing represents character traits, and "knows how to turn his robe inside out" means that he knows how to employ character traits where needed and in the appropriate manner: sometimes through love, sometimes through hatred, sometimes with pride, sometimes with humility, sometimes with restraint, and sometimes with vengeance and bearing a grudge, as in the case of Amalek.
Indeed, this is why they are called middot (measures), because one must use every single trait in proper measure and proportion, according to the measure appropriate for each situation. If a person is excessively forbearing with the wicked, the wicked will destroy every good thing. On the other hand, if he is exacting and irritable in all his affairs, he will not succeed either, for that is not the right path - a path of endless fault-finding and demands. Therefore, one must know where to be exacting and where to be forbearing, and likewise with every character trait.
רְאֵה חַיִּים עִם־אִשָּׁה אֲשֶׁר־אָהַבְתָּ כׇּל־יְמֵי חַיֵּי הֶבְלֶךָ אֲשֶׁר נָתַן־לְךָ תַּחַת הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ כֹּל יְמֵי הֶבְלֶךָ כִּי הוּא חֶלְקְךָ בַּחַיִּים וּבַעֲמָלְךָ אֲשֶׁר־אַתָּה עָמֵל תַּחַת הַשָּׁמֶשׁ׃ (ט, ט) - "See life with a woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given you under the sun, all the days of your futility, for that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun." (9:9)
Torah with Derech Eretz
Rashi explains: "See life" - see and understand to learn a craft, something from which you will have sustenance and earn a livelihood, together with the study of Torah in your hand. In other words: Torah study is good alongside derech eretz. And if you do so, "for that is your portion in life" - in this world you will have a source of livelihood, and also in the World to Come, for the toil of both makes sin forgotten. Since he is occupied both with earning a living and with the engagement in Torah, the exertion of both causes sin to be forgotten.
However, in practice, in our times this is not the recommended path for avreichim and bnei Torah, because this path does not produce great Torah scholars. In recent generations, we have not seen great Torah scholars emerge from having also engaged in secular work. If only a person would dedicate all his time to Torah and something will come of him - "A thousand enter and one emerges to render rulings," and that is when all his time is dedicated to it. Which great leader from recent generations can we point to and say that he engaged in work and Torah together and grew to greatness? Not the Chafetz Chaim, not Rav Elyashiv, not Rav Ovadia Yosef, not Rav Shteinman, not Rav Shalom Cohen, not Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul, not the Brisker Rov, not the Tchebiner Rov, and so on. The reality is that if a person engages in another endeavor that distracts his mind from Torah, he will distance himself completely from Torah, and neither one nor the other will endure for him. Therefore, the directive of the leading Torah authorities in these generations is that a person should dedicate his son to Torah alone, and later, if he needs to engage in work, let him work. Moreover, from the outset we do not find schools that integrate secular studies and produce truly God-fearing individuals. How many schools do you know of that teach both Torah and trades or other subjects, and truly possess God-fearing students - without smartphones, without movies, without getting involved in repulsive things? Unfortunately, there are no such schools yet.
The Parable of the Ostrich
Once a son came to the Chafetz Chaim and asked: Why must I go to yeshivah and not to work? After all, my father was already working at my age. The Chafetz Chaim said to him: It is written of the ostrich that it is cruel. Why? Because an ostrich eats glass, and it also feeds glass to its chicks - and this is its cruelty, for it does not realize that while its own stomach can handle it, the chick cannot. He told him: In your father's generation, a person could go out to work, support his family, and remain an ehrlicher Yid, an upright and God-fearing Jew. But in today's reality, if a person does not go to Torah, there are inevitably snakes and scorpions inside him. Would you want your father to be cruel toward you and send you to the place where he was? These are shards of glass; if you eat them, you will be cut. In this generation there is no choice: if only a person raises his son for Torah and an authentic ben Torah emerges from him. To add other studies at a young age, which is the age of spiritual development, will certainly harm his spirituality and his Torah growth. What is written in the verse is absolute truth, but in terms of what was appropriate in their time - that a person should combine Torah study with derech eretz, engaging in work alongside his Torah study.
A Person is Obligated to Teach His Son a Trade
Our Sages expound: A father is obligated to teach his son a trade. From where do we know this? Chizkiyah said, Scripture states: "See life with a woman whom you love." If it means an actual woman - that is, if we interpret the verse according to its literal meaning - it draws an analogy between a trade and a wife: just as he is obligated to marry him off to a woman, so too is he obligated to teach him a trade. And if Scripture is speaking of the Torah: just as he is obligated to teach him Torah, so too is he obligated to teach him a trade.
His Brothers Died from Work
And again, these words were stated for their time. Once, a Jew came to Rabbi Elchanan Wasserman citing this Gemara. He was an emigrant from Germany whose son was studying in the Rosh Yeshivah's yeshivah, and he took him out of the yeshivah to teach him a trade - for in Germany they held very strongly of professions and academic studies. The Rav asked him: "Why? Are you not afraid of jeopardizing the boy's soul?" Especially in such a generation; already in the generation of the Chafetz Chaim, parents came asking for a blessing for children and he refused to bless them, saying: "In this generation, a person who has children does not know what will become of them - a generation consumed entirely by the Haskalah." That Jew began quoting: "Torah im derech eretz," "A person is obligated to teach his son a trade" - the slogans commonly on their lips. And it was not simple there, neither for the Malbim nor for Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch, to contend against these notions.
Rabbi Elchanan Wasserman said to him: "Fine, I accept everything you say, but let me ask you a question in halachah. A man has a son, circumcises him on the eighth day, and the child dies. Another son is born, he circumcises him, and he dies as well. What is the law regarding the third son?" The father replied, "He is not circumcised." The Rosh Yeshivah asked, "Why? After all, there is a mitzvah of berit milah, and the Torah states: 'And on the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.' " He answered, "You see that they die - would you circumcise him and kill him? 'His brothers died on account of circumcision' - this is a well-known halachah." The Rosh Yeshivah said to him: "If so, it is an explicit halachah that there is a mitzvah to circumcise on the eighth day, and one who does not circumcise incurs karet - yet even so, we do not circumcise him, so as not to kill him."
He added: "Yet reality has proven that all those who went out to work - 'his brothers died on account of work.' Look at what is happening outside; go and see all those who sought a profession for their children at a young age, and where they are today. You claim that it is a mitzvah to teach him Torah and a mitzvah to teach him a trade, and that 'Torah study is good together with an occupation' - but circumcision is also a mitzvah, and we do not circumcise when the child dies! Here too, we should not send him to learn a trade - which is certainly of lesser stringency than the mitzvah of milah - when you see that his brothers have died on account of work." But that man did not listen, and the matter ended in a very tragic way: about six months after he removed the boy from the yeshivah, may Hashem have mercy, an accident occurred and that son passed away - an error that proceeds from the ruler.
Three Pilgrimage Festivals - and the Changing of the Times
Rabbi Yehudah says: If a man's wife passes away, he is forbidden to marry another woman until three pilgrimage festivals have passed one after the other. From where do we derive this? Three times "life" is stated here: "Enjoy life with the woman you love," "all the days of your fleeting life," "for that is your portion in life" - corresponding to these are three festivals, and only afterward may he marry another woman.
In our time, this halachah is also not strictly observed, due to the changing of the times. A person once came and asked: How could so-and-so, whose wife passed away six months ago, go and remarry immediately - what about the three festivals? The reply given was: Do you realize what era you are talking about? Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul said that in his generation, even before smartphones, it would theoretically be permitted to get married even on Tishah B'Av - an actual wedding, not just an engagement. When asked what the reasoning was, he explained: The whole reason to hurry to marry is to prevent sinful thoughts, so that a person does not linger in sinful contemplation; but today, it is not merely sinful thoughts, but actual sin, and every day one delays entails actual sin - so who permitted delaying? There is no dispensation to delay.
So too in our case: the reason to wait is out of respect for the deceased wife, yet the later halachic authorities write that in our generation, if you tell a person to wait three festivals - what sins might he fall into? Especially when dealing with a young man, someone around thirty with warm blood coursing through his veins, rather than a sixty-year-old. Will you tell him to wait a full year? What are the chances that he will not succumb to sin? Is there a reason to wait? There is a reason - but he will end up falling into outright transgressions.
Halachah Is Not Determined at the Click of a Button
This is why it is always emphasized: Halachah is not determined at the click of a button. When a person has a difficulty, he does not consult "Rabbi Google" - halachic rulings are not determined there; "My people ask counsel of their wood, and their staff declares to them." When a question arises, one must consult a great Torah scholar, because a great scholar weighs all the factors: the condition of the generation and the reality on the ground. Therefore, it is often said that one should not rely on halachic works compiled from verbal answers given by great scholars, for frequently a scholar answers a question tailored to a specific individual. There is a work entitled Ma'ayan Omer, in which a dedicated individual compiled all the verbal answers that Rav Ovadia Yosef gave to those who approached him with questions - yet it is difficult to rely on this as a general rule, because it was not issued as a ruling for the public. Often a person asked, and the Rav ruled for him according to his specific personal state and what he perceived in that individual - how can one extrapolate from this to everyone? The same applies from era to era: there is an era when one can be exacting and demand much of the generation, and there is a generation where demanding too much will only shatter, destroy, and ruin.
Do Not Take a Pasuk and Derive Conclusions on Your Own
Therefore, it is never appropriate to take a verse and declare, "From this I deduce." Consider the story of a couple who once came to a rabbi to seek guidance on raising children. The mother objected, while the father insisted on an extremely strict upbringing, citing verses to the rabbi: "He who spares his rod hates his son," and others. The rabbi said to him: "Do me a favor; I am not debating with you over what is written and what is not written - I know the reality. All those who educated with an iron fist, who made endless demands, who persecuted their children - their children are out on the streets; and if not, a miracle occurred for them. In this generation, the approach must be 'and his right hand embraces me,' and many times one must close one's eyes. This does not mean always, and one must consult and seek advice from experienced educators, but sometimes one must turn a blind eye. You want him to stay - and if you exert pressure and insist relentlessly, he will fall apart, disregard you completely, do nothing, and at times even leave home. The heartache that follows is terrible, as the Gemara states: 'A wayward child in a person's home is worse than the war of Gog and Magog.' "
To come and argue, "But it is written, but it is written" - what applied to your grandfather in Iraq, Yemen, or Morocco, where did a child have to go? To the Ishmaelites? He had no choice, so he stayed, even if he was beaten. But in our generation, one must be extremely careful never to raise a hand against a child. Our children are exceedingly fragile, and there are plenty of other disciplinary measures besides raising a hand. Perhaps at a very young age, if a child is about to touch an electrical outlet - a gentle tap on the hand; but to use physical hitting as an educational method - ask all those who acted this way, and they will tell you what the results were.
"But my father and my grandfather did so" - this is a different generation. If a general were to arrive today and offer military advice based on World War I or World War II, one would say to him: "Sir, you are living on a completely different battlefield; you are an old-fashioned general - who will listen to you?" The same applies here. The Torah is a Torah of life, and a Torah of life means that in every generation, one must examine what is necessary for that specific generation. Therefore, in these matters, one must always consult with great Torah scholars, experienced educators, and experts in the field, rather than acting rashly and doing things that ultimately cause only harm.
And from here, returning to our topic: in a situation where there is a concern that one might come to sin - they should hasten to marry him off, and not delay out of claims such as "How could he?" and "It is not respectable" and "What about his wife's honor?" His wife's honor - while he comes to transgress? There is certainly no permission for that. And especially in situations where his wife was ill for a year beforehand, and he had no physical connection with her for a year already, and you want him to wait another year? How many can maintain their sanctity, especially in our generation when the trials are so difficult? Therefore, there are situations in which one must consult with great Torah personalities, and they will instruct you that in such a situation, one should not take heed of what people say. Certainly, no one permits absolute prohibitions, but in matters such as these - according to the ruling of a Torah scholar, one may certainly act in this way.
One Who Lives Without a Wife Lives Without Life
Our Sages expound the verse: Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said, whoever lives without a wife lives without life, as it is stated, "See life with the wife whom you love." And the Metzudat David brings this in different phrasing: dwell in peace with your wife, so that your life may truly be a life, for a life of strife is no life at all. A person whose life is filled with strife and endless arguments - that is not a life.
And what does it mean to "dwell in peace with your wife"? That a person must also know how to bite his tongue, to know when to remain silent. One does not have to react to everything, one does not have to fire back a counterargument to every remark, and not every comment calls for a response. If a person knows how to remain silent, he sees how the other side's reactions naturally moderate. But when you provide fuel - it ignites, and the other side retorts, and you retort again, and the entire house becomes engulfed in flames. "Dwell in peace with your wife, so that your life may truly be a life, for a life of strife is no life at all."
Shlomo Speaks from Experience
The Imrei Shefer explains that King Shlomo speaks here from deep experience, because this wise king was ensnared by the corruption of his wives, who swayed him from the straight path. Recommendations regarding wives - Shlomo had a thousand of them, so he can certainly offer advice. Therefore, he comes as a good counselor and cautions: "See life with the wife whom you love" - do not marry a multitude of women, do not seek out many wives; take one woman whom you love and live with her, and do not burden your soul with an exhausting load.
"All the days of your fleeting life which He has given you under the sun, all the days of your futility" - the Imrei Shefer explains that life in general is vanity and futility, for even if a person lives for many long years, ultimately he will die and reach a reality of nothingness and vanity. Moreover, a person's actual lifespan is not long, nor is it pleasant - it is filled with coping, hardships, and struggles - they are indeed "few and bad." Therefore, "your futility" is written twice: first, corresponding to the general futility, that even if one lives a thousand years his end is vanity; and second, corresponding to his days being few and bad, which is an even greater vanity.
"For that is your portion in life" - the Imrei Shefer explains that this refers back to the general theme: joy and gladness of heart, that a person should rejoice in what the Holy One, Blessed is He, has given him and be content with what Heaven has allotted to him. This alone is your portion in life and in your labor which you perform under the sun. For if you care only for material matters - what will remain for you from them? You have toiled in vain, since ultimately a person takes nothing from this world. Therefore, "your portion in life" is only engagement in spiritual matters, and "in your labor which you perform under the sun" - that you should toil only in spiritual matters, and that will be the portion that remains with you for your true life, both for eternal life and later for the resurrection of the dead.
In summary: "Let your garments always be white" - prepare yourself at every moment with good deeds, like the guest invited to the king who does not know when he will be summoned, and "repent one day before your death." The whiteness of the garments is cleanliness from sin, and the oil represents the mitzvot and good deeds - for turning away from evil is not enough without doing good, just as soldiers do not fulfill their duty to the king simply by wearing clean clothes without his uniform. "See life with the wife whom you love" teaches about a trade and about marriage, about shalom bayit and being content with the portion given by the Holy One, Blessed is He. In all of this we have learned that the Torah is a Torah of life, that in every generation one must examine what is the proper conduct for its time, and that regarding such questions one must consult leading Torah scholars and educators rather than deciding alone. And ultimately, the true portion that remains with a person in this life and beyond is his toil in matters of the spirit.