Chapter 7 of Kohelet is a chapter of practical mussar: King Solomon teaches how to evaluate matters not by their initial appearance, but by their end, and how from this understanding the traits of patience, forbearance, and the avoidance of anger are born. In this lesson we will examine two central verses - "Better is the end of a matter than its beginning" and "Do not hasten in your spirit to become angry" - alongside the words of the Midrashim and commentators upon them.
ט֛וֹב אַחֲרִ֥ית דָּבָ֖ר מֵֽרֵאשִׁית֑וֹ ט֥וֹב אֶֽרֶךְ־ר֖וּחַ מִגְּבַהּ־רֽוּחַ׃ (ח) - Better is the end of a matter than its beginning; better is patience of spirit than haughtiness of spirit. (8)
Midrash Zuta cites the well-known Midrash here: Rabbi Meir was sitting and expounding, "Better is the end of a matter than its beginning." There is a person who engages in commerce in his youth and suffers losses, yet in his old age he recovers and earns a profit - better is the end of a matter than its beginning. Sometimes a person does not succeed initially, but later prospers, turning out that the end is better than the beginning. And there is a person who does evil deeds in his youth, but in his old age repents - better is the end of a matter than its beginning. Another interpretation: There is a person who has children in his youth and they pass away, Heaven spare us, yet in his old age he fathers children who live. Another interpretation: There is a person who studied Torah in his youth and forgot it, yet in his old age he returns and occupies himself with it.
On the example of children in one's old age, a well-known story can be cited: After the Chafetz Chaim's wife passed away, there was no one left to care for him and manage his household, so he asked his son to come live with him. The son did come, but his wife was accustomed to the big city and not to Radin, where there were not even paved roads and everything was mud. Eventually, the son told his father that he could not remain there any longer and was returning to the city. The Chafetz Chaim said: If I have no one to care for me, I will remarry. But he added: If a match is sought for me, let her be capable of bearing children. A match was found, and he remarried. Rabbi Hillel Sachs, Rosh Yeshivah of Chevron (who later moved to Kneset HaGedolah, serving as Rosh Yeshivah alongside Rabbi Avraham Farbstein and Rabbi Simcha Zissel Broide), was a descendant of the Chafetz Chaim from that second marriage. Meanwhile, the son the Chafetz Chaim had from his first marriage, who had been anticipated to become a great prodigy and genius and was truly exceptional, passed away before his wedding, Heaven spare us, which was an agonizing grief. Here, then, is an example of "better is the end of a matter": from the children he fathered in his later years emerged great Torah leaders.
And so Rabbi Meir would expound in Tiberias, while his teacher Elisha was passing through the marketplace. Elisha Acher, as is known, had apostatized and abandoned the Torah, yet Rabbi Meir still continued to learn Torah from him - "he found a pomegranate, ate its core, and discarded its peel." The Sages prohibit this, stating that it is forbidden to act in such a manner, and they did not agree with him; such a pomegranate is dangerous and liable to explode in one's face. Yet this was Rabbi Meir's approach.
Elisha said to him: What are you engaged in? Rabbi Meir replied: In this verse, and told him his homily. Elisha said to him: Alas for those who are lost and cannot be replaced - alas for the righteous who are gone and none are like them - Akiva your teacher did not say so! You expound that sometimes the beginning was not good and the end is better than it; but Rabbi Akiva expounded the opposite: When can an end be called "good"? When its beginning was good. "Better is the end of a matter than its beginning" - by virtue of its beginning.
Elisha went on to recount: Such was the incident with his father Avuyah, who was among the notables of Jerusalem. On the day his mother weaned him, he made a feast, and the leaders of Jerusalem were there, including Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua. Once they had eaten and drunk, some began reciting alphabetical verses and others sang hymns - some composed poetry according to the Alef-Beis and others chanted psalms. Rabbi Eliezer said to Rabbi Yehoshua: While they are occupied with their matters, let us occupy ourselves with ours - let us engage in Torah. They began occupying themselves with Torah, moving from the Torah to the Prophets and from the Prophets to the Writings; the words were as sweet as when they were given at Mount Sinai, and a fire descended and blazed around them.
His father Avuyah came to them and said: Why have you come here to burn down my house with fire? They replied: God forbid! We were occupying ourselves with the Torah, the Prophets, and the Writings, and the words were as joyful as when they were given at Sinai - and were they not given with fire? For the Torah was given with fire, "and the mountain burned with fire." Avuyah said to them: If such is the power of Torah, that the Sages can bring down fire through their study, this son whom I have circumcised today, I shall dedicate him to Torah. And Elisha concluded: Because my father's intention was not for the sake of Heaven, the Torah did not endure in me. That is, my father sent me to study not for the sake of the Torah's intrinsic greatness, but because he was impressed by what he saw, by the splendor and the power that could be derived from it - and therefore, it did not endure in me.
Elisha asked: And what else did you discuss? Rabbi Meir answered: We learned another verse dealing with the end versus the beginning - "And the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning." He asked him: And how did you expound it? He replied: This teaches that the Holy One, blessed be He, doubled all his wealth, as it is written, "And the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before" - double. Elisha said to him: Alas for you (and note: at first he said to him, "Alas for those who are lost and cannot be replaced," and now he said, "Alas for you"), Akiva your teacher did not say so; rather: "And the Lord blessed the latter end of Job" by virtue of the repentance and good deeds he possessed from his beginning - because of the good deeds he had in his beginning, Hashem blessed him in his end.
The Pesikta Zutreta explains: "Better is the end of a thing than its beginning" - just as it is written, "and the day of death than the day of one's birth." "Better is the end of a thing" means that once the matter has concluded, one knows that it was good from its beginning. When something begins to grow, you do not know what will come of it, whether for good or for bad, as we have seen; but when you see it at its end, you know that this thing was good from its beginning. In contrast to this, it is said, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end are the ways of death" - at first, he was certain that the way was right, yet what became of it in the end? Ways of death. Here, the opposite is true: when you see the good at the end, you know that its beginning was also good and that this was the right path. He brings further: "Better is the end of a thing than its beginning" - this is what people say: a good end makes everything good. When the end is good, it means that everything is good.
"Better is he who is patient in spirit" - this refers to one who brings transgressors close to the Torah, for regarding transgressors, a great deal of patience is required. A God-fearing person, a servant of Hashem, naturally has little patience for wickedness and deeds that contravene the Torah; the verse tells you: Know that the patience of one who draws transgressors close to the Torah is good. "Than he who is haughty in spirit" - one who pushes people away and does not accustom them to the mitzvot, whether because he lacks patience for them or because he must devote time to them and considers it beneath him. One who is patient in spirit is better than one who is haughty in spirit and does not invest where investment is needed.
A story is told about Rabbi Aryeh Levin: once, a man approached him on Shabbat holding a lit cigarette and asked how to reach a certain place. Rabbi Aryeh said to him, "Come, I will show you; I will walk with you." He walked with him all the way to that place and said, "Here, it is right here." It is told that the man tossed the cigarette from his hand and said, "I came out of defiance, but since the Rav restrained himself, made no comment at all, and even accompanied me and showed me the way - from this Shabbat on, I am quitting smoking; I will no longer smoke on Shabbat." This is the meaning of "Better is he who is patient in spirit than he who is haughty in spirit."
The Midrash relates: A certain Persian came before Rav and said to him, "Teach me Torah." Rav told him, "Say Alef, say Beit," and the Persian repeated after him. The Persian then asked, "Who says that this is an Alef and this is a Beit? Who says this shape is an Alef? Bring me proof!" There are skeptical types like this, who ask about everything, "Who said so? How do we know?" Rav rebuked him and sent him away with a reprimand. He then went to Shmuel, and Shmuel told him the same thing: "Alef, Beit." Once again, he asked, "Who says this is an Alef and this is a Beit?" Shmuel pulled his ear. The man began to cry out, "My ear, my ear!" Shmuel said to him, "Who says that this is an ear?" He replied, "Everyone knows that this is an ear!" Shmuel said to him, "Here, too, everyone knows that this is an Alef and this is a Beit." The Persian immediately fell silent and accepted upon himself to learn. Thus it is written, "Better is he who is patient in spirit than he who is haughty in spirit" - better was the patience of Shmuel than the strictness of Rav, for had it not been for that, the Persian would have returned to his wayward ways.
The Midrash further relates: Aquila the convert asked Rabbi Eliezer: After all the love that the Holy One, blessed be He, has shown for the convert, does it amount only to bread and clothing? As it says, "And loves the convert, to give him bread and clothing." He was offended: Is this all that is given to me? Look how many turtledoves and pigeons I own, which even my slaves pay no attention to, because they have them in such abundance, such wealth means nothing to them anymore. In other words: I am a man of great wealth, and you speak to me of bread and clothing? Rabbi Eliezer said to him: Is that which Yaakov Avinu prayed for a small thing in your eyes, as it is said, "And will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear"? That is to say: Are you not ashamed? Yaakov Avinu asked for bread to eat and clothing to wear, not turtledoves or fattened swans!
However, these words did not pacify him, for essentially he was being told, "Be quiet, bread and clothing are a great thing," while he maintained: To me, this is not a great thing. He came before Rabbi Yehoshua and asked him the same question, and Rabbi Yehoshua began to console him with gentle words. He said to him: Bread - this is the Torah, as it is said, "Come, eat of my bread"; and clothing - this is honor, as it is said, "By me kings reign," and the Gemara notes that Rabbi Yochanan would call his garments "my honorers," for clothes are called honor. It turns out that the Holy One, blessed be He, gives the convert Torah and honor - immediately he was mollified and accepted his words. Thus: better was the patience of Rabbi Yehoshua than the strictness of Rabbi Eliezer, for had it not been so, Aquila would have returned to his wayward ways and gone back to being a gentile. From here we learn how measured one's reactions must be - reactions that draw people near, rather than reactions that push away those seeking to approach.
אַל־תְּבַהֵ֥ל בְּרֽוּחֲךָ֖ לִכְע֑וֹס כִּ֣י כַ֔עַס בְּחֵ֥יק כְּסִילִ֖ים יָנֽוּחַ׃ (ט) - Do not be hasty in your spirit to become angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools. (9)
The Midrash states: "Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry" - this refers to Moshe. The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Moshe: You became angry, you cast down, you broke - you shall replace. You became angry, as it is stated, "And Moshe's anger flared"; you cast down, as it is stated, "And he cast the Tablets out of his hands"; you broke, as it is stated, "And he broke them beneath the mountain"; you shall replace, as it is stated, "Carve for yourself two stone Tablets like the first." Therefore it is stated, "Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry," for afterwards you will have to bring a replacement; when a person becomes angry, the outcome is not necessarily good.
Seemingly, this Midrash does not align with the words of Chazal regarding "which you broke" (asher shibarta) - where the Holy One, blessed be He, said to Moshe: "May your strength be fortified for having broken them," showing that He praised him for it. It is possible that these are differing Midrashic traditions, since here the plain reading implies a grievance against Moshe for becoming angry, as in consequence he would have to bring replacement Tablets. Perhaps one could interpret the Midrash gently rather than as a strict reprimand, but that is not the straightforward implication.
The Midrash also states: "Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry" - for the angry person gains nothing from his fury but his anger itself. What comes of it? Only agitation. Did one gain anything? Someone once defined anger: anger is punishing yourself for the mistakes of others. That is what a person does when he becomes angry, and who suffers? He does. We have already noted that all human ailments stem from stress and anger; what harms a person is not what he eats, but what eats him. When a person is angry, it consumes him from within, and if he bottles it up inside without venting, it destroys him internally. The recommendation is not to erupt and vent it outward, but rather not to become angry at all. We must realize that anger is deeply destructive to a person. The victim of your anger is you: ulcers, blood pressure issues, heart trouble, blood clots, and more. People live in stress, pressure, and anger, and they are never at peace.
The Midrash gives an analogy: whoever spits upward, it falls back onto his own face. A person in a fit of rage spits toward heaven - and gets it right back on his forehead. What has he achieved? There is no point in becoming angry. Midrash Rabbah brings another parable: just as water boiling over from a kettle spills onto the kettle itself, so does anger rebound upon the angry person. The water does not fly away; it cascades back down upon the vessel. When one is furious, who absorbs the boiling spill? He does. One impresses no one; he has harmed only himself.
Rabbi Yirmeyah of Difti said: Whoever becomes angry forgets his Torah learning and increases foolishness, as it is stated, "For anger rests in the bosom of fools," and it is stated, "And a fool spreads folly." One who yields to anger reduces himself to foolishness - and this is true not only for an unlearned person; even a Torah scholar of Moshe Rabbeinu's stature made errors wherever he succumbed to anger.
The Pesikta Zutarta states: "Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry" - for people get angry over nothing, and concerning them it is said, "For anger rests in the bosom of fools," because they will not abandon their folly. Therefore, a person must conduct himself with humility rather than pride, for anger is an outgrowth of arrogance. Why does a person get angry? Because someone did something contrary to his plans: How dare he defy my word, when I was the one who asked? When a person holds himself in high esteem, he becomes angry often; but when he does not attach importance to himself, nothing anyone does can disturb his peace of mind.
Commentators offer another explanation for "anger rests in the bosom of fools": the wise are patient and forbearing, while anger finds its resting place in the bosom of fools. "Rests" means dwells - where did anger find a home? With fools. It is a warm home for anger, for the fool embraces it to his bosom and makes frequent use of it.
Rabbeinu Yonah explains: Anger rests in the heart of the fool, and therefore he is quick to flare up - he requires no preparation. The fool is constantly walking around with a drawn weapon and the safety off; anger "rests" within him on standby, waiting to discharge. He cites the observation of some sages that a snake's venom is released automatically the moment it bites, even without deliberate intent; it requires no special focus - as soon as it bites, the venom is instantly released. So it is with the fool: the moment something agitates him, anger bursts forth immediately.
Therefore, one of the most effective strategies against anger is delay. There was once a great person who designated for himself an "anger coat": he took upon himself never to become angry unless he first put on a specific coat. He reasoned: by the time I reach the coat and put it on, the anger will have subsided and I will have calmed down. Alternatively, he would think twice: is it really worth going over there, fetching the coat, and putting it on? In short, the moment a person introduces a delay, that in itself neutralizes the impulse to anger, for the very essence of anger is to erupt instantaneously.
A rabbinical judge in Be'er Sheva recounted that the beit din adopted a policy not to handle divorce proceedings during the first three days of the week, but only from Wednesday through the end of the week. When asked why, he replied: We observed that Shabbat is often a volatile time. The husband is home, the wife is cooking and it may not always be to his liking, the children are home, leading to shouting and arguments; by Sunday morning, they are standing on the steps of the rabbinate. But we noticed that two or three days allow things to calm down: Sunday, Monday, the wife prepares a nice meal, compliments are exchanged, he cools off and moves on until next Shabbat. What is needed first and foremost is to cool a person down, to let him collect himself, and then he drops the matter entirely. Only the truly severe cases, where things have reached a breaking point, return on Wednesday and Thursday. But for those driven by fleeting anger, giving them a brief cooling-off period is enough, and you see that it simply blows over.
The Imrei Shefer explains: "Better is the end of a matter than its beginning" - in everything, its outcome is better than its onset. Often you see something that in the beginning appears crooked and distorted, yet by its end it turns out beautiful and pleasing to behold. This is why Shlomo continues, "better is patience of spirit than haughtiness of spirit": What brings a person to anger? The fact that he only sees the beginning. You see an unpromising start and immediately start shouting: This is unacceptable! Why was it done this way? But you are told: Wait, there is an end to the matter, and then you will see that "better is the end of a matter than its beginning," and from the outcome you will realize that everything is actually wonderful. Therefore, be patient and do not rush to anger; whoever waits will see that in the end, only good will emerge.
And why is one who is quick to anger called "haughty of spirit" (geva ruach)? First, as we have already noted, an angry person is inherently haughty. But furthermore: when a person is told, "Wait, you will see how it ends," and he replies, "I already know how it will end, you do not need to explain anything to me, I know it is terrible and ruined" - that is true arrogance. He is told to wait and see the final result, yet he is already certain, predicting the future, understanding everything without needing any explanation. It is far better to be patient and realize that in the end, the matter may well turn out for the best. This is the meaning of "Do not be hasty in your spirit to become angry" - tevahel means haste and hurry. Do not rush into anger before you have seen the final outcome. "For anger rests in the bosom of fools" - only fools are convinced they know everything and understand everything, erupting in anger immediately because things are not going as they think they should, lacking the patience to wait and see how matters unfold.
This reflects the ancient adage: "Before the work is completed, do not show it to a fool." Today, the popular saying puts it slightly differently: Never show a fool half-finished work. Why? Because he cannot yet envision how it will look in the end, and to him it appears that you are destroying it. The Chazon Ish gave a parable: A man brought fine, expensive fabric to a tailor to sew him a suit, expecting it to be ready in a single day. He arrived at the end of the day and saw that instead of sewing, the tailor had taken scissors and was cutting up the fabric into pieces, apparently ruining it, and the man immediately began shouting in outrage. But this is work in progress! Come back when it is finished, when everything is sewn together, and you will see a magnificent suit. Before the work is finished, do not show it to a fool.
King Solomon teaches us that nothing should be judged by its beginning: "Better is the end of a matter than its beginning" - only at the end is the true nature of a matter revealed, and as Rabbi Akiva expounded, a good end draws its sustenance from a good beginning. From this recognition, the trait of patience is born: the patience of Shmuel toward the Persian, of Rabbi Yehoshua toward Onkelos, and of Rav Aryeh Levin toward the transgressor - this is what brought souls closer, whereas strictness and haughtiness push them away. Consequently, "Do not be hasty in your spirit to become angry": anger is the offspring of pride; it causes a person to forget his learning and increases foolishness, and like water boiling over from a kettle, it ultimately spills back onto the angry person himself. The counsel is pause and composure, to wait with patience until the end of the matter is revealed - for one must never show a fool half-finished work.